I give up on the illusion of sleep after a few hours. I’d like to say the rest at least did me some good but I’d be lying. I’m cranky as hell. Wandering down to the food tent, I scarf some grub and head out in search of Amber.
I find her mingling in a largish group that includes Isla and Jax. Spotting me approaching, she strides toward me. “I heard what happened. I wanted to drop by earlier, but I didn’t want to disturb you while you were sleeping.” She places a tentative hand on my uninjured arm. “How are you feeling?”
“Do you want the truth or the social reply?”
Planting her hands on her hips, she pins me with a look that Ariana would be proud of.
“It hurts like hell but I’ll live. Happy?”
“Hardly,” she says, frowning. “You could’ve died out there today.” Deep lines form on her brow.
“Hey,” I say, rubbing her shoulder, “I know but I made it out. Besides, any one of us could die any day out here.”
Her face puckers sourly. “I don’t understand what Saoirse is up to. This strategy is flawed, and I don’t think I can stand by and watch any more of my friends die.” She scrunches her hair in her fists.
“I hear ya. I gave the CO a piece of my mind earlier, and I’ve put in a call to Dad to see if he can do anything. We need to change tack.”
“Cal,” Isla shouts. I peer over Amber’s shoulder. “Come join us.” She wiggles her fingers.
“Come on. I’ve a few people to introduce you to.”
Amber and I sit down beside Jax and Isla on a fallen log in front of the campfire. The nighttime chill has crept up early tonight and I stretch out my palms, soaking up the toasty warmth from the fire. A darkening cloak swaddles the sky as the remains of the day slowly slip away. Faces glow eerily under the flames. If it weren’t for the fact that we’re in the midst of a vicious battle for control of the world, this would be one of my favorite nights. We huddle in small groups around the fire, chatting lowly.
“Zane told me it’s over between him and Ari. Is that true?” Isla asks when we finally have a few moments alone.
“That’s what he told me, but I’ve no way of verifying it. I haven’t heard from her in months.”
She looks at me quizzically. “Things were pretty tense back in Saoirse and we weren’t getting on.” I scrub a hand over my jaw and almost lose my balance. Isla reacts super-fast, placing a hand across my lower back and helping me straighten. “Thanks. I keep forgetting I’m basically one-armed. Never realized how much it would affect my coordination.”
“Does it hurt?”
“Not as much as my heart.” Holy crap! Did I just say that out loud? Totally cheese-tastic. I expect to see a smirk on her face, but her expression is solemn.
“What do you think is going on with them?” She splays her hands on her knees.
“I don’t know. I thought she was with him until a few days ago. And now she’s m—”
“Cal!” a voice calls out somewhere in the distance, interrupting me mid-flow. My head whips up and I strain to see in the darkness. Standing up, I jump over the log and peer in either direction. I can’t make out a damn thing.
“Cal?” she shouts, the sound nearer this time.
“Ariana?” I yell, sprinting in the direction of her voice.
CHAPTER 16
My heart is crashing against my ribcage as I run toward the sound of her voice. Gradually I spot two forms in the distance and hear the sound of running footsteps. I sprint forward, crazy butterflies fluttering to life in my chest. She throws herself at me and I stumble back. In this moment, I don’t care about anything except that she’s here, safe and alive, and back in my arms.
Burying my head in her hair, I soak her up as if I’ve been starved of oxygen. Tears well in my eyes at the smell and feel of her against me. Lithe arms snake around my waist and then she swiftly backs up. “You’re injured!” The sweet sound of her voice does funny things to my insides. “How bad is it?” Her voice raises an octave.
“I’m okay. It’s not as bad as it looks.” Worried eyes meet mine and my heart melts. She tentatively raises a hand to my face and trails her finger across my skin. My hormones flare to life under her touch and I moan softly. God, I’ve missed her so damn much. Silence stretches between us as we stare at each other. We move closer, the pull deepening, drawing us to one another. My eyes seek permission and I see no objection. Without overthinking it, I capture her mouth and kiss her with all the emotion I’ve funneled deep inside these last few months. I’m drowning in her and all my senses are on fire.
She kisses me back with gusto, matching every one of my kisses, and I’m mentally punching the air.
Something curved and solid grazes my abs and I ease back, instantly distracted. Looking down, I gasp. “Oh my God.” My wide eyes flit to her face and the vulnerability and uncertainty in her gaze guts me. “I’ve missed so much. May I?” I ask, my hands raised over her swollen belly.
“Of course,” she whispers.
I place my hands reverentially on her bump. It feels warm and solid underneath my fingertips, and a torrent of emotion lodges at the base of my throat. “Whoa!” I shout, whipping my hands off as a strong movement under her skin startles me. “What was that?”
“The baby moved. He likes your touch.” I can hear the smile in her voice. Clasping my hands, she places them again on her stomach.
My mouth hangs open with the distinct movement under my fingers. Words can’t describe the magnitude of what I’m feeling right now. “It’s amazing.”
“It scared the hell out of me the first time. Thank God T was there to explain everything,” she admits.
“T?” I inquire.
“That’d be me,” a breathless voice says, materializing alongside us. “I think I have a stitch,” Taylor says, bending over and clutching his side. “Do you have rocket launchers on your feet or something? Because I sure as hell can’t figure out how you moved so fast. Bump and all? Impressive.” Groaning, he drops two black backpacks on the ground.
“I had a great incentive,” Ariana says, smiling coyly at me. My lips crack out a mega-watt smile, and I don’t think there’s a happier man anywhere on the planet at this very moment. Yeah, we’ve a ton of crap to work through, but there’s no denying her pleasure at seeing me. If she came all this way, it can only mean one thing.
She wants to be with me.
If my heart had wings, I’d be soaring through the clouds right about now.
Snagging her into my uninjured side, I press my lips against her hair and close my eyes, offering up silent thanks to God for delivering her here to me.
“I need to be alone with you,” I admit. Taylor coughs and I try to quell the surge of irritation flooding my cells. “But we best get Taylor sorted with accommodation first.” I throw a scathing look at him. “Come on, follow me.”
Ariana slides her arm across my lower back as we walk. Taylor trails a little ways behind us. I repeatedly kiss her hair and stroke her cheek, and with each step, I feel lighter and brighter.
When we approach the campfire, several heads look up at once. Jax is on his feet instantly. “Hey, doll-face. I knew we’d meet again.” He smirks, then yanks her out of my arms, and lifts her up in the air. “Sweet Jesus,” he says, eye-level with her midriff. “Either you’re pregnant or someone’s been eating too many cakes.”
She swats him with her hand. “Put me down, you moron.” He plants her back on the ground with remarkable tenderness. “And to answer your question, no, I’m not letting myself go; I’m pregnant.”
“With one or ten babies?” he deadpans, surveying her large bump.
“Funny, ha, ha.”
Ariana gives him one of her special glares and I can’t help chuckling. “Watch your mouth. That’s my baby you’re insulting.”
“You talking about the babe on the inside, or the hot momma glaring at me right now?” Jax says.
“I think you most definitely have a death wish,” Isla says, standing beside him. Amb
er appears on her other side. A smile flickers over her face. Isla looks over at Ariana, hands fisted in her pockets. “Hi, Ari.”
“Isla?” Ariana looks from her to me to Amber. “Did you all plan a party and forget to invite me?”
Isla gargles something incoherent, and I brace myself for the usual showdown.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” Ariana says sincerely.
“You too,” Isla acknowledges with a tight smile.
I think I must have gone to sleep and woken up in a parallel universe for I never thought I’d see the day when those two saw eye to eye.
“Well, isn’t this swell,” Taylor says from behind.
Moving aside, I motion him forward. Amber and Isla’s eyes widen to stalks as they catch an eyeful of him. There was a time when I’d feel jealous at their obvious admiration of him over me, but I couldn’t give a monkey’s ass now. Seizing the opportunity, I jump right in there. “Girls, would you mind looking after Taylor? Ariana and I need to speak alone.”
“Of course,” Amber says without hesitation.
“No problem,” Isla says, jumping in at the same time. Both girls laugh and then glare at each other. I’d almost like to stick around to see how this one is going to go down. But I’ve far more important business to attend to.
Ariana moves over and hugs Taylor. “Thanks for coming with me. I’ll see you in the morning?”
He envelops her in his arms, his large body swamping hers. Indignation and jealously flare instantly. I can’t abide anyone else touching her but I zip my lips, the snarky retort lolling on my tongue. I’m determined to keep my cool lest my wayward mouth gets me in trouble again. Ariana risked danger and the wrath of her father to visit me. That means everything and I’m not going to mess it up.
We wander in companionable silence to my pod, our fingers entwined. “Make yourself comfortable,” I tell her as we step inside, gesturing to my bed. “Are you hungry? Thirsty?”
She removes her jacket and slinks onto the bed, her loose dress fanning across the covers. Bending over, she attempts to untie her boots but the movement looks uncomfortable as hell. “Here, let me.” I slowly maneuver onto my knees and replace her fingers with mine.
“Cal, it’s fine,” she says, her hand stroking the curve of my jaw. “You’re injured. I can manage. I’m used to everything taking twice as long now that I’ve the coordination of an overgrown hippo.”
“I’m okay,” I say, folding into her caress. “I haven’t been around to help you with anything. Please let me do this.”
She licks her lips and the gesture sends a delicious tingle straight to my lower regions. Crap. I truly have been starved for attention. I unbuckle one boot and then the other and peel her damp socks off. She attempts to wriggle out of my reach, but I hold onto her foot and run my hands up and down her trembling skin. “Your feet are cold.”
“Don’t. They stink,” she admits, her face flaming.
Grabbing a pack of wipes from the side table, I move back over to the bed. Perching on the end, I face her and motion with my hands. Her forehead crinkles as she reluctantly swings her legs up, gingerly placing her feet in my lap.
Slowly and carefully, I wipe her feet and then switch to her legs, running the moist cloth back and forth over her clammy skin. Ariana collapses on the bed, her eyes closed, lips slightly parted. I take the opportunity to slyly study her. Her hair spills around her shoulders, lustrous, thick and long, very long. Tiny freckles dot the tanned skin across her nose and she radiates health. A delicate rosy blush sweeps over her face and she bites down on her lip. Bolting upright, she sucks in a sharp breath, staring at me with a wide-eyed look. It’s only then I notice how far my hand has crept up her legs. Removing my hands from under her dress, I attempt to hide my smile. “Shit, sorry. I was kind of lost looking at you. I didn’t realize what I was doing.”
“Hmm,” she says, lifting a finger to her lips. “A likely story.” Eyes the color of vibrant sapphires sparkle as I melt under the power of her gaze.
I slide up the bed and lie down on my uninjured side, facing her. Mere inches separate us and every part of my body gravitates toward her. Reaching over, I sweep her hair back from her face, and she shivers as a delectable tremor rocks my body. “I guess I should be cross at you for risking so much to come here, but I’m too selfish,” I admit, my hand trailing the finger on her lip. “I have missed you so much.” My voice breaks, laden with unbridled emotion.
She snags my wrist and her finger treks up and down my skin. All the while, her gaze never leaves my face. “I know it was dangerous, but I was fed up waiting for my dad to organize the trip. I knew Taylor wouldn’t let me come to any harm, and we had local guides every step of the way. Plus, Aggie said it would be okay, and I know she wouldn’t have let me leave if she foresaw it would end badly. I couldn’t wait any longer to see you. I hate the way things were left between us.” Her face scrunches up.
“Me, too,” I admit. “I thought you’d chosen him.” I grimace as remembered anguish squeezes my heart.
“I’m so sorry, Cal. I’ve made a total mess out of everything, and all it’s done is torture the three of us. I never meant to hurt you or leave you in the lurch like that. But there wasn’t time to say goodbye or explain.” Her thumb makes soft circles on the inside of my wrist, and I feel the tickle all the way up my arm.
“I know. He told me that much.”
“I wanted to phone you but it was too risky. Apparently, I’m on Micha’s hit list, and Dad insisted that I cut off all contact with the outside world.” Her fingers curl around mine.
“Zane told me Micha’s in the wind and he explained your Dad’s concern. We need to let them know you are okay. They were as worried as I’ve been.”
Her eyes survey my face closely. “I should probably do that now.” She moves to sit up.
“You look exhausted, baby. Let me get word through to them, and you can put in a call in the morning. Stay here. I’ll be back soon.”
As I haul myself up awkwardly, a low moan escapes my mouth as a throbbing pain pummels my upper arm. “Do you have any pain meds?” Ariana asks, sitting up beside me.
“Yeah. I think I should be okay to take a couple more now.” I reach into my pants pocket as she hands me a bottle of water. Throwing the tabs in the back of my mouth, I swallow a large gulp of water. As I hand the bottle back to her, I note the concern etched all over her face. “I’m okay. You’re okay.” My eyes skim over her swollen stomach. “And our baby is okay. All is good.” Pressing my lips to hers, I kiss her softly. The taste of her bathes my senses in a pleasurable warmth.
I’m standing at the door when she calls out to me. “I love you. Be careful.”
I dart over and reel her into my embrace. “God, I love you too. I’ll be quick.”
When I return fifteen minutes later, she is sitting cross-legged on the bed, dressed in peach and lemon patterned sleep shorts and top, surrounded by the messy contents of her backpack.
“Hey, gorgeous.”
She graces me with a sparkling smile. “Did you get a message through to Saoirse?”
“All sorted, don’t worry.” I kiss the top of her head. “What you up to?” I gesticulate with my hand.
“I’m running out of things to fit me. It’s becoming problematic.” Weaving her hands through the pile of clothing, she bunches them up and shoves them back into her bag.
“I have no issue if you need to preserve your meager supplies. Underwear works just fine for me.” I lunge forward and snatch her into my lap, ignoring the blistering pain the movement produces in my arm.
She stifles a laugh. “Quiet your dirty mouth. That’s not helpful. Seriously, what am I going to wear? At this rate, I’ll have nothing that fits within the month.”
She chews anxiously on a fingernail and it’s fucking cute as hell. “Even a black sack would look good on you. I’ll talk to Mel, see if there is anything she can sort out back at HQ.”
A flash of recognition builds behind her eye
s, but she quickly schools her mouth into an impressive neutral line. “What?” My eyes bore into hers.
She shakes her head and a familiar surge of frustration wells inside me. She still won’t open up to me. The muscles across my shoulders cord with tension. “So, it’s still like that, is it?” My tone belies the strength of my frustration.
“No,” she admits quietly, twisting in my arms to face me head on. “I’ll tell you, but it will upset you.”
“I’d rather hear it.” I ready myself.
“It’s just that Zane said that very same thing to me once.”
“Oh.” An obvious tension pervades the air at the mention of the elephant in the room.
Easing out of my lap, she faces me, our knees colliding. “I need to tell you something.” She gulps loudly, a look of sheer fright on her face. “I should have told you this the minute I remembered, but I was too afraid. I’m still terrified.” She averts her gaze, her fingers digging into the comforter.
“Hey.” I tilt her chin up with my finger. “You can tell me anything. I doubt it’s worse than what’s transpired already,” I say, thinking of all the shocking truths that have come to light recently. There isn’t much she can say that will top that.
“See,” she says, her eyes blazing with fear, “that’s where you’re wrong. This is the worst truth of all, and once you hear it, you’ll realize that I’m not who you think I am. I’m terrified that you won’t want anything to do with me, and it was that fear that held me back. But being away on my own these last couple of months has given me the breathing space I needed to figure everything out in my head. I want to be with you, Cal. I love you, so much it physically hurts.” She lays her hand against her chest, a pinched look on her face. “And if you still want that with me, then we need a fresh start, a clean slate. Starting with me telling you some things I should’ve told you already.”
Pressing my forehead against hers, I hold her hands in mine. “Ariana.” The word comes out in an awed whisper. “You are my whole world. These last couple of months have been nothing short of torturous because I thought I’d messed everything up for good. All that’s ever mattered to me is you. There is nothing you can say that will make me doubt that. I know who you are,” I say, placing my hand over hers. I stare straight into her eyes. “I love you and all that that entails. But you have to stop shutting me out. Real couples trust each other, share things, and carry the burden between them. I want to be there for you, but you have to let me in. If this is a fresh start, then that has to be the foundation it’s built upon. Because as much as I love you, I don’t think we’ll survive otherwise. I want you and I want our baby, and a future I’d only ever dreamed about is finally within reach. But you have to trust me, babe. Really trust me. Can you do that?”
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