Excitement making it hard to whisper, Chris turned and hoarsely hissed, “Goblins! Found them!”
Reacting quickly, Nathaniel grabbed the thick leather collar around Scout’s neck and knelt down to hold the dog in place. Shading his eyes and peering out at the humanoids, the young man whispered back to his leader, “What are they doing? Are those nets? Are they fishing?”
“Let’s go get a closer look. Can you keep Scout under control?”
“He’s got an a ability called Well-Trained. That means he does exactly what you tell him as long as the command isn’t too complicated. I’ve never figured out exactly what too complicated means. I’m sure he can handle ‘Be quiet,’ and ‘Stay with me.’”
Chris eased his way into the grasses and sedges that made up the matted, tangled fen. The ground under their feet was spongy and waterlogged, but the vegetation kept them concealed. They never could have approached on the cart path without being spotted. Nathaniel and Scout followed in the trail blazed by Chris’s bigger body, the plants bent and broken out of the way for the boy and dog.
Eventually, they got close enough they could look through the wall of grasses and observe the humanoids. There were six goblin fishermen at work on the bridge. The bridge itself was a simple affair. Just a bunch of piles driven down into the spongy fen bottom of this long stretch of open water. Rails connected the piles along the direction of the bridge and slats went across between the rails. This construction technique made a sturdy platform bridge that could stretch as far as the water was shallow enough and ground firm enough to take the piles. A trio of little flat bottomed boats were tied up to one of the piles near the middle of the bridge.
Interesting that they came by boat and not along the path, thought Chris to himself. Their village must be back some place less accessible. Makes sense. More defensible that way.
From their vantage point in the plants close to the bridge, the paladin could hear the goblins singing as they worked. He could make out words in their language and understand them thanks to his Gift of Tongues ability. He told Nathaniel that their song was simply about how delicious fish was.
Nathaniel turned and whispered to Chris. “Do you think the goblins have souls from Hell in them, or are they monsters like the dire wolf and the skeleton?”
“Why does it matter, and what are we waiting for? Aren’t these the guys we’re here to kill?”
“Well, they’re collecting an awful lot of fish for just the six of them, aren’t they?”
Chris paused and thought about it for a second. “True. No way they’re the only ones in their tribe. Plus, I doubt a chief would be sending his best warriors out to pull nets.”
Nathaniel’s face was screwed into a confused expression. “But, I don’t know. If they’re souls from Hell, I kind of feel bad killing them and sending them back there.”
“So, what are you saying we do? Go sing Kumbaya with them?” Chris would have thrown up his hands in disbelief if they had not been hiding at that moment.
“No, but didn’t that Olivia girl say something about negotiating and diplomacy. Maybe you could try to talk to them in Goblin first and see if we can maybe find a peaceful resolution. I mean, if they’re souls from Hell, every minute in this world has got to feel like bliss, even if they’re trapped in gangly little green goblin bodies. That has got to be a big negotiating advantage. Death for them means a lot more than death for us.”
“Speak for yourself,”Chris retorted. “I’ve got about 300 people in a cafeteria back on Earth that I have to live for. I need to win this Game.”
“Yeah, but you don’t stay dead. You get to come back after a day. If they die, they are back in Hell forever. Seems like a lot worse of a deal to me.”
Chris sat and silently watched the goblins work for a while. He thought about what Nathaniel had said. It was true. If they were from Hell, they would not want to go back. That should make negotiating a peaceful surrender much easier.
With an fake accent out of an old Western, Chris turned to Nathaniel and intoned, “Right, cover me, I’m going in all peaceful like.”
“It’s a long shot for me, but I’ll be ready to try, and I’ll send Scout if things go south.”
Reassured that a giant dog could come bounding to his aid at a moment’s notice, Chris slid his shield and war hammer into his inventory pouch. Now, he could approach empty handed and look peaceful.
Sir Christopher the Paladin stepped out of the fen grass and up onto the path by the beginning of the bridge. He walked forward, holding up his hands and saying in English, “I come in peace.” His shiny metal armor communicated that the peace was perhaps more temporary than his declaration implied. Starting in English was a bit of a ploy. He wanted to see what the goblins might say to each other in their own tongue before they knew that he could understand it.
The nearest goblin dropped his end of the net and grabbed something off the bridge deck that Chris had not seen. It looked like a little spear about four feet long.
The goblin grinned at Chris. It showed all of its pointy little teeth.
Chris smiled back and repeated, “I come in peace. I mean you no harm.”
The goblin barked over its shoulder in Goblin to the others. “Long pig taste better than fish. Pale men here just as stupid as on our islands in the ocean. Bet he want tell us about ‘Lord and Savior’ like ones on big ship at Tanatuanuta. He have fancy cross on his chest that stand for White God.”
Another goblin squealed back, “Here not the same as home. We littler, weaker. Pale men might have boom boom sticks here. Look, he is wrapped in cloth dipped in blood! Don’t you remember how we sent to Dark Fiery Place With Worms last time by red clothe wearers? No want to go back.”
This second goblin was scolded by all the others in a quick burst of staccato epithets. The mildest of which was, “Cowardly son of a mongrel dog and fat sow.”
One of the others dropped his end of a net and picked up a little spear as well. “Long pig is so good. We’ve had no long pig in such a long time. If we eat the long pig, maybe we grow back to the size we were before?”
Chris could tell this was not going to end well. It was both the way the goblins were talking and the anger that he felt rising within him. He tried one more tactic in English, “Could you take me to your village so I could tell your people about my Lord and Savior? Or, just tell me how many of you there are?”
A third goblin dropped his end of a net and picked up a spear. This one actually licked his green lips. Chris sighed as he reached down into his inventory bag. He slowly pulled out the crusty bread Brother Aleksandr had sent with them. “Would you like some bread, nice Mr. Goblin?”
The closest goblin looked over his shoulder again. “Might as well take his free stuff first. Maybe one of us can get behind him while the others are eating with him. Remember to nod along to all the ‘Lord and Savior’ parts. They really eat that up... Until we eat them up!”
All six of the goblin fishermen gave a chorus of sniggers and chortles that put the hair on the back of Chris’s neck up. Though he did not notice it, one of the six was not laughing along nearly as hard as the others.
Still, Chris kept up the kindly benefactor act and brought the bread over to them. He stopped a few paces away, set the bread down while watching them, and backed away with a goofy smile firmly fixed on his face.
Goblins were Level 1/2 monsters by themselves according to the Beastiary. That meant they would each have around 5-10 Health and be able to do about 1-6 damage on a single attack each combat interval. Chris had figured out that combat was broken into five second chunks of game time. He was still unclear on whether that meant real seconds or just some kind of abstract tracking thing. Their fights with the dire wolf and skeletons had seemed to last a lot longer than the number of intervals indicated. But, it was not like he had a stop watch or anything to check. The skeletons in the river had been especially confusing because combat time and regular time had been flipping on and off.
&nbs
p; The little spears these goblins had did not look like they were going to do any extra damage. But, it was true goblins could have classes. Chiefs usually had a couple levels in Man-at-Arms or Ranger. There were also shamans and champions to worry about. Thankfully, none of these on the bridge looked like casters or extra tough fighters.
The only thing that worried Chris from a combat perspective was how outnumbered he was. Flanking and Rear Attacks gave bonuses to attack and damage that might give the whole crew of little beasties a chance to make good on their dinner plans. Still, at Level 3, he should be able to handle this. There was always Scout waiting in the wings, right?
As the first goblin moved in and sat down at the bread, he pointed to a spot across from him. The goblin motioned for Chris to sit down and share the bread. Another goblin moved up and sat down. He made the same pointing, waving sign for Chris to join. The other goblins started waving and pointing, and moving about. They were capering and pantomiming sitting and sharing.
Chris could see two things immediately. One goblin, he thought it was the one that had objected earlier, seemed very unenthusiastic in his act. The other was that two of them were dancing back and forth, but always moving a little wider and a little further up along his flanks. Those must be the ones that were going to try to get behind him.
“Do you all want more? More bread? I have some more. And some cheese! Let me get them out, and I’ll tell you about my Lord and Savior.”
Chris stepped forward and reached his hand in his inventory pouch.
“My Lord and Savior is merciful. It’s true.”
He brought his hand back out.
It was holding his war hammer.
Cobbling together half-remembered Bible verses like Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction, he spoke vengeance in the Goblin tongue as he began to swing.
“But, He is coming to judge the quick and the dead, like you.”
You attack SURPRISED Goblin. Chance to hit 90% [(6-(-2)) x 5% + 50%)
You hit the SURPRISED Goblin for 10 damage (2+6+2). It should have picked on someone its own size. It died.
Chris had taken out one of the goblins that was attempting to flank him as his action for the first interval.
“And, those who wallow in sin and do not repent...” Chris paused his impromptu speech in Goblin to sing out his command phrase in English. His casting started the second interval. The goblins would no longer be surprised.
You have invoked an Apprentice Soldiers of the Light Aura. ATT/DMG +2, Crit. +10%, 5 Light Damage.
You have 10/14 Mana.
The second goblin that had been trying to flank him, darted in and took a stab at Chris’s ribs.
The Goblin attacks you with a short spear.
It misses!
The two seated goblins took different actions. One scrambled to his feet to not be PRONE. The other chose to grab his spear to not be UNARMED. Chris could not tell what the last two goblins did during the second interval.
Chris finished his comment on the unrepentant with something he thought was sufficiently Sinners-in-the-Hands-of-an-Angry-God-y. “...Will be cast into Hellfire forever!”
Adding emphasis to his words as if he had planned it, a searingly bright ring of light flashed out of Chris at the end of the combat interval. Before it dissipated, the light caught three of the goblins in its radius.
Your Soldiers of the Light Aura does 5 Light damage to Goblin.
Your Soldiers of the Light Aura is dodged by PRONE Goblin.
Your Soldiers of the Light Aura is dodged by Goblin.
Chris had not known it was even possible to dodge his aura. He had assumed that any enemy in the area of effect would automatically take damage. Filing the fact away for later, he went about his business of killing goblins who were trying to kill him.
Staying coolheaded, Chris ignored the active attacker in favor of the PRONE, armed goblin. There was no use letting him get up and losing the PRONE bonuses. The attacker could be next if it managed to dodge the next aura blast. Chris again kicked off the combat interval. He wondered if he was still going first because of the surprise factor.
You attack PRONE Goblin. Chance to hit 95% [(10-0) x 5% + 50%]
You hit the PRONE Goblin for 19 damage (9+10). It should have picked on someone its own size. It died.
The unarmed goblin stooped to grab its spear. The other one near Chris took another unsuccessful attack.
Chris's aura flashed out again.
The two goblins in range managed to throw themselves down below the ring of light before it had gotten to them. They were ready for it now.
First, he went for the other one that had been trying to flank him, the one that had missed him twice. Chris did not want to see if the third time would be the charm for that one.
You attack Goblin. Chance to hit 80% [(8-2) x 5% + 50%)
You miss!
Chris growled in frustration. After that awesome speech, he had rolled up a miss? On an 80% to hit? Frustration turned to pain as the goblin countered with a thrust from his short spear. It gave Chris a wicked, hungry smile as it dove in at him.
The Goblin attacks you with a short spear.
It hits you for 5 damage! Your armor absorbs 2 points of damage.
You have 32/35 Health.
Glancing across Chris’s thigh, the spear opened up a superficial gash.
Two other goblins closed in on Chris. They stayed low to avoid the next flash of light, somersaulting and tumbling. Passing the body of the seated goblin, they treated their fallen comrade like nothing more than a piece of the scenery. Only one could get close enough to attack this interval.
The Goblin attacks you with a short spear.
It misses!
Chris roared at them, “You’ve all been there in Hell. You know what it’s like.”
The paladin’s aura fired off again, but the goblins were completely prepared this time. They all ducked and rolled under it with impressive alacrity.
Chris swung for the goblin that had hit him the last time.
You attack Goblin. Chance to hit 80% [(8-2) x 5% + 50%)
You hit the Goblin for 13 damage (5+8). It should have picked on someone its own size. It died.
“Long pig talks too much. Makes mistakes!” The second goblin that closed the previous round attacked Chris from one side as the other goblin struck at him from the other.
Chris wanted to ask how killing three of the six goblins was making mistakes. Then, he got the update and realized what the goblin meant.
You have been FLANKED. Enemies have +2 ATT and DMG.
The Goblin attacks you with a short spear.
It CRITICALLY hits you for 12 damage! Your armor absorbs 2 points of damage.
You have 22/35 Health.
The spear slid past the top of Chris's shield and just along the top of his armor's neck guard. The fiery burn of metal splitting skin erupted from the bottom of Chris's cheek back through the middle of his ear. He could feel the blood pouring out of the wound and soaking his undershirt.
The Goblin attacks you with a short spear.
It misses!
Even with the agony of the crit and his open wound, Chris did not think the goblin’s comment on mistakes was entirely warranted. He still had 22 Health and only two of the goblins were actually fighting him.
“Want to come over here and get a taste of this blood? Want to eat just one more missionary?' He did not consider for the moment that this was implying that he was a missionary. He was not thinking very missionary-like thoughts. "Get ready to go back to Hell!”
You attack Goblin. Chance to hit 80% [(8-2) x 5% + 50%)
You hit the Goblin for 18 damage (10+8). It should have picked on someone its own size. It died.
“Should have responded to the alter call faster.”
Chris’s aura fired off, but again the goblin next to him ducked at just the right moment.
The Goblin attacks you with a short spear.
It hits you for 2 damage! Your armor absorbs
2 points of damage.
You have 27/35 Health.
You attack the Goblin. Chance to hit 80% [(8-2) x 5% + 50%)
It dodges your attack!
This time, the goblin had rolled away from the war hammer blow. But as it popped back to its feet, Chris’s aura launched a circular blade of light right through the little green monster.
Your Soldiers of the Light Aura does 5 damage to the Goblin.
Chris wondered when the last goblin would join the fray and flank him from behind. He did not have time to check on what that goblin was up to. The paladin attempted to finish off the goblin right next to him and worry about the last one later.
You attack the Goblin. Chance to hit 80% [(8-2) x 5% + 50%)
It dodges your attack!
The Goblin attacks you with a short spear.
It hits you for 4 damage! Your armor absorbs 2 points of damage.
Again, when Chris’s aura spun out the flat sheet of magical light, the goblin had finished dodging the war hammer in an awkward position and could not avoid the searing disk.
Your Soldiers of the Light Aura does 5 damage to the Goblin. It should have picked on someone its own size. It died.
They must be able to dodge only one attack a round or something, he concluded to himself.
Chris turned to the last goblin on the bridge, expecting it to throw itself at him. Instead, it cast down its spear and fell at his feet.
“PLEASE, NO! Great man, have mercy! I did not want to do what they did! Please, spare me! Do not send me back to the Dark Fiery Place with Worms, I know I deserve to go back there, but, please... please... please...”
Chris, covered in his own red blood and goblin green blood, brought his hammer up high over his head.
Chapter 13
Nervous and a little worried, Olivia had no idea what to expect as Cato lead her through the forest. They were on their way to a hunting lodge to meet an elvish noble. There was an extensive elvish aristocracy with a tangled web of alliances and enmities Olivia was trying to learn. Excited by the situation, the novelty of it had her a little intimidated. She had never met a nobleman, or been to a hunting lodge. The former being far rarer than the latter in the good old USA. One of Olivia's favorite parts of games was interacting with NPCs and trying to solve problems in other ways before resorting to combat.
Openings Page 20