Olivia screamed, she backed right over the two men where they were sitting on the ground. As she was falling backward, the wizard flung out her hand in front of her and shouted, “Snow Globe Blizzard Blast!” Olivia had carefully come up with her trigger phrases so she would never accidentally cast any of her spells.
A glittering orb of bluish ice twice the size of a softball appeared with a little crack and pop and flew off.
A spider the size of a small bus with multiple arrows sticking out of it reared up over the three fallen elves. Here was Shelob. She had been hiding the whole time.
Olivia’s supersized ice orb crashed into the spider’s underside, and the air became frigid, full of the sound of shattering icicles and cracking pack ice.
The rush of wind was deafening and the pelting chunks of ice and snow stung everyone’s exposed skin.
Olivia had expected more pain, and more damage as well, but strangely, she was fine. Something under her legs was not. It felt like there was a solid block of ice there.
She looked down in horror to see Durrel frozen solid to the ground there. In almost equal horror, the spider was not frozen solid. Though glowing blue and moving slowly, the creature was still on the attack. One of its huge spike legs came slamming down at her.
Something warm landed on top of her and bellowed in pain. Her eyes focused after a moment, and she saw Kerjad grimacing on top of her. “Get moving. I’ve only got so much health to use taking hits for you!” Grunting, he put a hand on her shoulder and mumbled, “Speed of Thought!”
Scrambling out from under the Constable, Olivia noticed that everything seemed clearer. The world was moving a little slower. And something else.
“Oh yeah! More mana!”
Olivia spun around to face the eight legged freak. She heard Kerjad shout, “Wasting Disease!” There was a flash under the spider and it roared a deafening shriek. Spots appeared all over the creature and it hunched downward like a great weight had been dropped on it. But, it did not fall. Instead, it reared back again, raising two sharp legs up over the still collapsed Constable.
Olivia decided to dump everything she could into this shot. She would waste three mana, but it would do the most damage the fastest. She shouted, “Tesla’s Revenge of Death!”
Yeah, she would never say any of these phrases by accident.
The bolt sizzled across the space between her and the gigantic spider that was rearing back again. The bright blue arc of electrical energy surged into the exposed underside of the spider. Sparks spread out from the impact and began circling the giant monster, racing along its body back and forth.
Frozen in place, the monster sat perched over Kerjad. The Constable scrambled out from underneath it.
An arrow whistled down from overhead. It landed in the middle of a half dozen other arrows in the creature’s head.
But, this one was different.
This one sunk halfway down its shaft into the thick carapace of the arachnid. As if a balloon had been pricked with a pin, the grotesque monster burst, raining ichor and goo everywhere.
***
At a nearby stream, they cleaned the remains of their enemy off of themselves and their equipment. Sighing and hoping to get it over with quickly, Olivia turned to the Constable and admitted, “I guess you were right to be suspicious of him because he was a Shadow Elf.”
Patiently wiping the spider juice off of his cudgel with a rag, Kerjad explained himself. “I wasn’t suspicious because he was a Shadow Elf. I was suspicious because I knew he had lied about his class. He wasn’t a battle mage. He was a wizard who had taken a level of light armor. Why would a battle mage pick a crossbow, dagger, and leather armor for equipment? The whole point of the class is to get to use the better weapons and armor. You can’t do double attacks with crossbows and daggers give much less damage compared to swords or axes. I assumed you already knew that and considered it part of the risk.”
Olivia turned red with embarrassment. “I, ah, I did not exactly realize all that. I’ve only really paid attention to the Wizard class.”
“When you’re mayor and then perhaps baroness and countess, you’ll be making decisions about Priests like me, Men-at-Arms like Cato, and probably most of the other classes on your own side. And the ones you don’t have in your village or fighting with you, will be the ones that you’re fighting against. So, you’d better spend a little time on our way back to Lord Finolfin’s lodge learning about all of them. And another bit of advice. If you want to keep a snake warm, put it by a fire, not inside your shirt.”
Blushing at the metaphor, Olivia meekly replied, “Yes, sir.”
“Mayors outrank constables. You don’t have to call me ‘sir,’ Your Ladyship.”
A squeak slipping into her excited voice, Olivia said, “Thank you, Constable Kerjad.”
The wizard and Lady Mayor hugged the gruff elf, and it was the Constable’s turn to blush.
***
“You say mean things to pretty girl!
I like pretty girl!
I not like you!”
The ogre was charging quickly across the gap between the edge of the forest and the village gates. He was holding a club over his head. The club had, until very recently, been a foot wide oak tree.
“Well now, they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder right?” asked one guard as he fired his crossbow at the ogre.
“That’s right,” replied a second one as he shot too.
The first guard answered as he reloaded his crossbow, “I guess this feller hadn’t beholded too many lady folk before he met our witch friends out there.”
The mayor shouted up from the pavement below, “There be witchery afoot you clods.”
“I’d be sayin so,” came back the first guard. “Our bolts ain’t even scratchin ‘im.”
“Drat. They gave him Rock Flesh.” The mayor spat onto the ground and kicked his own spittle with his boot. “Well, do I open the gates now or make them bash them down? Ah, let them repair the damage they do to their new village. I’ll be in Hell in two shakes of a lamb’s tail at this rate anyway. What do I care?”
The mayor called up to the guards. “You boys may want to make a run out the back way. I don’t think that fat one is gonna be too kind to the folks that called her cattle. You could join up with that Ieyasu feller that came through here this morning. He’s no friend of these witches from what he was sayin.”
The oak club of the ogre slammed into the gates and shook them like leaves on a tree in a stiff breeze.
“You know boss, you may have a point there.”
The two guards scrambled down from their posts and dashed across the village square. The mayor shouted after them, “Tell that feller to get rid of all the witches he can. I don’t think I like ‘em too much.”
***
Emma watched with the upmost satisfaction as the charmed ogre destroyed the village gates. Katrina’s Charm Monster potion had a duration of a full day, so she would going to look for as many things to have her new friend smash as she could find. But first, the business at hand.
“Stand aside, Tog. I want to see these fools get turned into meat mush with my own two eyes.”
The ogre stood over to the side of the town square. There was a man sitting in on the edge of stone planter in the center of the square. The planter had an apple tree in the middle of it. The man was eating an apple.
“I missed these,” was all he said by way of greeting.
“I am Lady Emma Wilson, soon to be Witch Queen of the Shadow Elves. Where are the fools who dared to insult me before?”
“You’re looking at ‘em.”
“There were more than one! I heard different voices!”
“Really, it’s just me. I’m the one that called you cattle.”
Emma sniffed her nose in distaste. “Your sexist misogyny is disgusting. You just insulted me because you fear powerful women.”
“I don’t rightly fear much of anything at all at this point. And, I insulted you becau
se you’re ugly. And fat.” The man looked up at the ogre, hoping that the monster would swing true and make it swift.
Emma fumed, her face turning red through her dark gray skin. But sweeping up behind her and pressing a hand to her elbow, Katrina calmed her. She turned Emma away from the Mayor of the village for a moment. Emma’s head kicked back as she drank something. She turned around with a wicked smile on her face.
The Mayor did not like the looks of this. Why was the ogre not putting him out of his misery? And, why was that witch coming over toward him? Was she not going to kill him? Was there such a thing as a fate worse than death?
“Your face looks like a sack of turnips!” squealed the Mayor in horror.
It was to no avail. Emma had been convinced not to have Tog liquify the soon-to-be-former Mayor. Instead, she got right up into his face and said breathily, “Hiiiiii...”
A glowing red mist curled out of her mouth and flew into the Mayor’s. The mist was like a living creature, a parasite looking for a way into its host. Thrashing his head about and holding his breath, the Mayor tried to escape. But the mist hung about his nostrils and his lips, waiting.
Finally, he could not help but breath it in. His whole body shivered and shook, then he tossed himself on the ground and thrashed about. He started to scream, but stopped in the middle.
Looking up at Emma with new eyes, he said, “Oh, my lovely, angelic Lady. Whatever you ask of me, your humble, worthless servant, I will do as best I can. Please, sweet Lady, ask away that I may do something to please your pleasantly plump self.”
Emma laughed and snorted at the Mayor’s magical attitude adjustment.
“Ah!” he cried out. “The music of the angels come to earth is the laughter of Mi’Lady.”
Somewhere inside, a buried part of himself hoped fervently that he was to be killed.
There would be no such mercy.
Excited, Emma turned to Katrina. “See, the Patriarchy is no match for the Sisterhood!”
The older witch beamed with pride. “It is as you have said. Now, claim your new village so we may embark on the real adventure.”
Looking down with disgust at the Mayor on the flagstones, Emma proclaimed, “I want to be Mayor here!”
“As you wish, Mi’Lady! The office is yours.” The now former mayor knelt down before her with his face to the ground, wishing for all the world that the ogre would drop its club on him.
Chapter 16
Christopher tried to buy one more health potion from Marcus on the way through Fenton. The apothecary was not at home.
“He must be out collecting supplies or looking for monsters to study. We’ll have to make do with what we have. I hope this doesn’t cost us. I should have just bit the bullet and bought another one last night.” Chris was kicking himself most of the way to the fen. For as often as he did it, Chris was wondering why his Self-Kicking skill had not leveled. Maybe it was because he was already at Legendary level.
Ku, on the other hand, was practically strutting back to his former home. He had become a Man-at-Arms and taken a spear, shield, and short sword for his equipment. He also got armor similar to Chris’s, a breastplate with chain mail and some other pieces. The hunter’s bow and arrows had rounded out his equipment. Thankfully, as a follower of a player, he got an inventory pouch as well. That was where he had most of his things currently stored.
They found their boats undisturbed in the tall plants by the path near the bridge. They were out on the water quickly and poling their way toward an uncertain encounter. But, as they got underway, time seemed to slow down. The trip to the village felt like it took twice as long as the day before.
After approximately forever, Chris recognized the opening in the sedges that lead into the open water south of the village. He hissed over his shoulder to Nathaniel, “Finally!”
Ku was riding in Chris’s boat. The paladin still was not quite able to trust the goblin. Hunkered down in the front of the other boat, Scout was being ferried by Nathaniel. Chris looked at his party members. “All right, is this little flotilla of two ready to execute an amphibious assault of less than epic proportions?”
“Aye, aye, Admiral McKnight. We’ll run right up on that coast and storm... What’s the name of your village Ku?” asked Nathaniel.
Ku thought for a second. “In English, it is Fish Guts.”
Chris volunteered, “We’ll probably change that when we take over.”
Nathaniel continued. “Fine then. We’ll run our boats right up onto that smelly shore and storm Fish Guts in no time.”
As they moved into position to charge out across the open water, Chris reminded them, “Scout and Ku are on intimidating the militia since those two have Intimidation as a class skill and that unit is technically untrained. I sure hope they haven’t figured out about...”
Chris stopped short as he caught a glimpse of something through the reeds. “...Us coming to attack them.” He finished his thought anyway, even though he realized it was obsolete. The village of Fish Guts was constructing a wooden, defensive wall.
“Ooooo, that’s new,” clucked Ku.
Dark disappointment evident in his voice, Nathaniel asked, “That’s not good is it?”
Chris had a far away look in his eyes for a few moments. “Actually, it’s not bad for us yet according to HELP! It has to get completed to grant its bonus to the defenders.”
Nervously chewing on his lip, Nathaniel asked, “Well, let’s assume the element of surprise is no longer on our periodic table. How does the plan change?”
Grimacing, Chris replied, “Victory conditions are still the same. We’ve got to either eliminate all military units in the settlement or occupy the town hall for a hour. I suppose they could surrender to us...”
Ku mad a horrifying suggestion, “If they are building a wall, do you think they’ve received reinforcements from the Witch King’s town?”
Teeth gritted, Chris answered “Only one way to find out.”
Feigning a look of shock and fear, Nathaniel asked, “You don’t mean sit around for a couple hours on stake out trying to count goblin warriors in the village do you?”
Not taking the timing of the joke well, Chris glared at Nathaniel. “No, I mean attack. When did your class become court jester?”
“Hey, lighten up,” grinned Nathaniel. “Haven’t you heard stress will kill you?”
This one finally breached Chris’s defenses and he started to laugh before he stopped himself. “All right. Let’s go become the Lords of Fish Guts.”
***
Chris poled his boat out as fast as he could, and he knew Nathaniel was right behind him. They were more than halfway across the open water before an alarm was sounded. A dozen or so goblins working on the wall fled and disappeared into the cluster of huts that made up the village.
In the middle of the village, Chris could see a goblin in leather armor pointing and shouting orders. Whatever resistance he was trying to organize, it was too long in the coming. Chris and Ku pulled up on shore without anyone attacking them. Chris was already shouting in Goblin as Nathaniel and Scout landed beside them to the right.
“Anyone who does not fight will be spared. You will not have to go back to the Fiery Place With the Worms for as long as the Game lasts. This is your last chance to be spared! All who fight us will be slain and sent back!”
Nathaniel nodded in appreciation of PSYOPS his leader was putting on the villagers. It did not hurt that what he was saying was completely true. Nathaniel commanded Scout to stay beside him until he was given a command to attack.
There was a trench and heap of earth where the wall was going to be. Here on the south side of the village, the was a gap that looked to be the beginnings of a gate for the defensive wall. Nathaniel and Scout moved up next to Chris in that gap.
Chris got a message in the bottom third of his vision.
You have attacked a defended village. This will start a war with the Witch King’s side.
He wanted to say
duh to the info message, but he was busy listening to the apparent leader of the village try to rally his troops in the village center.
“...and remember, the Witch King is watching! He will know who did not fight, and the frogre will feast!”
Chris turned to Ku and asked him, “What’s a frogre?”
“If a giant frog and an ogre had a baby...”
A look of disgust spread across Chris’s face. “How could...”
Ku shrugged. “I said if.”
“That’s it. Let’s start fighting. I’m in front in the middle of this gate area. You two behind with bows.” Chris leaned his shield up against the wooden piles that were driven into the ground to make the foundation for one side of the gate. He set his war hammer down next to it, handle up. Then, he took out his bow and nocked an arrow.
Ku and Nathaniel followed suit with their bows. They both spread out behind the trench and earthen heap and knelt to increase their cover. Nathaniel pushed Scout down next to the heap. The war hound complied, though he seemed dissatisfied with the idea.
Chris ordered, “Take out the guy talking.”
All three of them loosed their arrows at the same moment. The result was a little confusing.
You attack Goblin Warrior (Troop).
You hit Goblin Warrior (Troop) for 8 damage.
Goblin Warrior’s Leather Armor absorbs 2 damage. Shares 6 damage with Troop.
Ku attacks Goblin Warrior (Troop).
Ku hits Goblin Warrior (Troop) for 5 damage.
Goblin Warrior’s Leather Armor absorbs 2 damage. Shares 3 damage with Troop.
Nathaniel attacks Goblin Warrior (Troop).
Nathaniel hit Goblin Warrior (Troop) for 9 damage.
Goblin Warrior’s Leather Armor absorbs 2 damage. Shares 7 damage with Troop.
A little worried that he did not understand, Chris asked the others, “Anybody know what it means when it says the damaged was shared to the troop? And why didn’t it tell me my chance to hit?”
Ku was nocking another arrow. “There must have been enough reinforcements to create a troop of Warriors here. Aren’t military battles different from adventure battles?”
Openings Page 25