Terra turned to look their way. “Is that…”
“Ew, chavs,” I said before turning my attention back to my book.
“No, they’re not chavs- I meant, we’re not concerned because they’re chavs,” Zo said, frowning.
“I’m concerned. At least two of them are dressed like they’re going jogging, but those bastards aren’t jogging anywhere.” Did they have no dignity? They weren’t working out, and I was pretty sure one of them was carrying a tire iron. Did they expect us to believe they were also changing a tire?
Ridiculous.
This was a park, there were no cars. They looked like morons. Morons with possible violent intentions.
The others all climbed to their feet, looking defensive. I knew a group study was a bad idea. I’d hardly gotten any work done, and not just because I’d spent most of the time snacking on food I didn’t need. I also wasn’t good at working in a group setting. People were distracting, and it was hard to relax while in social situations. Though, not usually because a group of chavs looked as if they were ready to bash our heads in.
This was a unique situation.
“Nevaeh?” Terra murmured. She’d clearly come to the same conclusion I had; this situation was deteriorating fast, and my friends were about to get their asses kicked.
“I’d love to help you, guys. But, as you can see, my butt has been glued to this chair,” I said, gesturing to the bench beneath me.
“Wait, really?” Zo asked, her eyes flickered briefly my way before returning to the hoodlums.
“Yup.” I turned the page in my book. I wasn’t going to be dragged into their drama. Not today.
“Bloody bitches!” one of the attackers growled as he swiped at Dee. She took a large textbook and swung it at him. It hit him in the face, and stayed there when she let go. Her jerked back from the blow but managed to keep his footing. Taking full advantage, she kicked him in the gut.
She was going to be fine.
The only female in the group glanced at Terra scowling. So, the demon tackled her to the ground and began to wail on her. I was glad I wasn’t that bitch. What Terra lacked in size, she made up for in pure viciousness.
“Is it okay if I ask… why are we fighting these yokels?” I asked. I was all for spontaneous brawls, but I didn’t really feel like I could be too invested in the outcome until I had a little context.
Somebody threw the tire iron at my head, so I figured this was not the time for asking questions. I ducked out of the way but it still clipped the back of my head. Fuck.
“Rude.” That was going to leave a dent.
One of the two men who’d been going for Zo turned my way. I crossed my arms over my chest, lifted my chin, and let my eyes flash red.
“Do not make yourself my problem,” I growled.
Having snuck up behind him, Zo reached up to grab his neck in her hand, squeezing until his face turned purple and he collapsed. The other guy she’d been fighting was already on the ground, bleeding from numerous claw marks.
Her veins had darkened enough that they stood out against her already tanned skin. As powers went, hers didn’t cause the most obvious physical changes, but they also weren’t the subtlest. I ate another Dorito chip.
Things had quietened down and I glanced around, confirming that all the other attackers were also incapacitated. “Now can I ask what that was all about?”
Terra scowled at me, shaking out her bruised knuckles. “Remember that time you blew us off to do unspeakable things to Tim on your anniversary?” She paused long enough for me to give a slow nod, “We were putting a stop to a local gang’s drug ring. These are members of that gang.”
That had been a good day for me. “Oh, so, they’re here for revenge on you guys?” This seemed like a them problem, so it was probably best I hadn’t gotten involved. Getting involved in other people’s problems was a slippery slope.
“Yes. The only problem was that some of them got away last time, because we were short handed,” Dee said pointedly.
“This is great. I was concerned that the Falmouth-Exeter student rivalry had escalated to bloodshed.” Now I could go back to just silently judging the Exeter students for their inferiority.
“You do remember Jason is an Exeter student, right?” Zo asked.
“I remember,” I assured her. It was why I disliked him on principle. Well, that and his personality.
“I’ll call this in,” Zo murmured, pulling out her phone.
My phone was still stuck to my arm. I decided I’d had enough studying for one day. “Well… great job everyone.” I stood up and brushed off my thighs.
Dee slapped a hand to her face. “Why did we believe your ass was glued to a chair?”
“I can only assume you’re all very dense.” I grabbed my notebook, my pen, and the book I was reading, shoving them in my bag.
27
27 - Weather Witch
Nevaeh -
“Where are you going?” Tim asked from where he rested, reclining on our bed.
“They want me to watch a witch,” I told him as I tugged on my boot.
He screwed up his face in distaste. “A witch? But witches hate our kind.”
I glanced at him. It was true that, despite popular belief, witches didn’t often consort with demons. “They hate your kind. I doubt they’ve ever met anyone like me.”
He gave a charming grin that had probably caused more than one mortal woman to lose her panties, and probably her soul. “You’re one of a kind, babe.”
What a prick. I bared my teeth in what might have passed for a smile and walked over to the bed. “Oh, I know. I am pretty awesome.” I bent over until I was eye level with him, giving him a pleasant view of my chest.
“Pretty awesome,” he murmured, failing to meet my gaze.
“Mmhmm, and I can handle one little witch.”
He nodded absently. “Yeah, handle.” He leaned closer and I slapped him in his stupid face, then I let him kiss me. I slapped him again, though not so hard this time.
“Sorry, peaches, no handling today.” I tapped him on the nose.
He snapped his teeth at me. “Frigid bitch.”
“Small-dicked whiny little ferret-eater.”
He cracked a smile. “Colourful.”
I shrugged, straightening, and shot him a superior glance. “I thought so.”
“Take the mutt if you’re dealing with witches.”
“Aww, you care.” I grinned.
“Of course. Who will I torture if you get bespelled again?”
“Urgh, don’t bring that up. I’d rather have my head taken off than be enthralled again.” I whistled softly and a missile in the shape of a dog shot into the room. His nails failed to gain traction on the wooden floorboards and he slammed head first into the side of the bed.
I closed my eyes and silently asked for strength.
My loyal companion scrambled to his feet, shook himself a little, and then stared dumbly at me, his tongue lolling out.
“Are you concussed, you moron?” I asked.
He didn’t visibly respond, which I took as a no. I finished lacing up my boots.
“Watch the bitch’s back,” Tim said.
I frowned at him. “I will, that’s my whole job.”
“I wasn’t talking to you.”
I glanced down at Pete. “I married an asshole,” I informed him.
He wagged his tail.
I rolled my eyes. “Alright, come on, you dumb mutt.”
* * *
Twenty minutes later I arrived at a quaint little town house where Mrs. Lewis (aka Witch Bait) lived with her husband. Everyone was in the kitchen—everyone being the Lewis’s, two human bodyguards, and Zo.
Something was burning.
“Oh my God! Your mother will be here in an hour and I’ve ruined everything!” Mrs. Lewis was saying, the woman seemed moments away from having some kind of heart attack.
“Honey, it’s fine. We can just grab some from the store.” If I had to guess, I’d say t
hat was Mr. Witch Bait.
“Oh, come on, your mother already hates me, and it doesn’t help that your brother married Miss Perfect last year.”
I cracked a window, grabbed the baking tray of what I assumed had once been cookies, and carried them outside, throwing them straight into the trash. The couple were still arguing, but Mrs. Lewis paused when she turned to me.
“That tray is piping hot! Are you okay?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I’m fine.” I set the tray back on top of the oven.
Frowning sceptically, she came over and took my hand, surveying the smooth, unmarred skin there. “But… how the hell—”
“Shit, it’s snowing again,” Mr. Witch Bait broke in.
Not a moment ago, I’d been outside and the sky had been perfectly clear, but now it looked like there was a freaking blizzard out there. Weird.
“Damn it, just as my shift is over,” Zo grumbled. “I better get outta here before it gets too bad out there.”
* * *
“What the fuck are you doing?” Zo demanded, some time later. I didn’t take her snappy attitude personally; she was just pissed the snow storm had been too bad for her to leave. As a walking corpse, she might have been able to survive the freezing temperatures, but the knee-deep snow and the cutting wind wouldn’t have made it a pleasant experience.
“Nothing.”
The humans in the room were all huddled around the kitchen table, which was in front of the heater. Shortly after the snow had started, Mr. Lewis had turned up the heating in the house. Even Pete was curled up beneath the table.
“You’re baking! What the fuck are you baking?” Zo demanded.
“The hearts of those who have wronged me.”
“Really, ‘cause it looks like you’re baking a cake,” she said, sounding judgemental.
“There’s one egg and very little sugar, you uncouth swine. Of course I’m not baking a cake,” I growled.
“You don’t even eat food; how the hell do you know how to bake?” Frankly, I found her judgement completely uncalled for. I also didn’t drive, but I knew how to change a tire. Or, remove one and keep it in case I need one in the future.
“Shut up and make yourself useful. Check for developments on the weather.”
She rolled her eyes but left me alone, switching on the small TV in the corner of the room. A few moments later I slid my creations into the oven. Pete peeked his nose out from beneath the table, sensing that food might soon be available.
The greedy bastard.
“It looks like the storm isn’t easing up, and it’s concentrated right over the house,” Zo commented.
“You think the witches are making their move?”
“Seems like it. We should be ready for some kind of attack.”
I rolled my eyes. “They’re just witches.”
“Witches powerful enough to conjure a blizzard in June.”
Well… I guess she had a point, but I wasn’t afraid of any damn witches. “Have we identified the witches yet?”
“No, and if we had I wouldn’t tell you,” Zo muttered.
I glared at her. “What? Why the hell not?”
“Because you’d go off half-cocked, and then we’d end up with witch corpses and city officials demanding answers.”
I gasped, pressing a hand to my chest as if gravely offended. “I don’t do stuff half-cocked. I do everything full-cocked,” I muttered.
She gave me a flat look, to let me know how thoroughly unamused she was with me. “Well, I don’t want to hear about your damn cocks, Neva. So, for once in your life, can you just focu-”
I stopped listening because the TV had flickered to life.
“Hand over the witch or prepare to be buried.”
A silence descended in the kitchen for a long tense moment.
“I say we hand her over,” I announced.
Zo shot me an annoyed look. “We don’t negotiate with terrorists.”
“You’re right, negotiating is tedious. Let’s just wait it out. Even the most powerful coven of weather witches could only keep this up for three or four weeks.” Going so many weeks without feeding was liable to drive me mad, but I’d been mad before, and hadn’t murdered anyone… Had I?
No, I probably would have remembered that.
Maybe I should start keeping a list.
“We won’t last four weeks,” Zo growled, giving me a pointed look.
It took me a moment to register her comment.
“Oh, wow. Who decided to put the flesh-eater and bloodsucker on guard detail… ‘cause they fucked up.”
Her eyes widened. I glanced at the mortals in the room and they suddenly looked alarmed.
“She’s kidding,” Zo snapped suddenly. “Her sense of humour is… particular.”
I pursed my lips. I was freaking hilarious, what was she talking about? I glanced down at Pete who was equally affronted. Either that or he was about to sneeze.
“We’re going to die in here,” I murmured, resting my head on the table. Zo glared at me. “That was a joke. I’m immortal; I can’t die,” I said flatly.
See? Hilarious.
“It’s okay, we’ll figure this out,” Zo said, determined. I was content to let the whole thing play out, but Zo was really into the whole ‘hero’ thing. Something about morals or scruples or some such nonsense.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck. Oh fuck!” I gasped, staring down at my phone.
“What?” Zo demanded.
“There’s a fucking Charmander just down the street.”
Zo rested her face in both hands. “How the hell are you playing PokemonGo right now?”
“It was either that, or choose which of the humans we should eat first. And I want a fucking Charmander.” I glanced at the door. I’d need to get closer to be able to catch the bastard. I shrugged out of my jacket, resting it on the back of a chair.
“You are not going out there without a plan,” Zo insisted.
“I have a plan. Get the Charmander and kill anything in my way.” I walked to the cupboard where I’d previously spotted a stash of libations. I snagged a bottle of what was probably the strong stuff. I wasn’t much of a connoisseur.
“What’s she doing?” Mrs. Lewis asked anxiously as she worried her thumbnail. Gross.
“This is one of those situations where I think it’s best to sit back and see what happens. She’ll either get herself trapped in a mound of snow or, less likely, she might solve our problems in her mission for a new goddamned Pokemon.”
“You’re not going to help?” she pressed.
“Heck, no. I won’t get two feet out that door.”
Tucking my phone safely away in my back pocket, I unscrewed the lid of the bottle and began to pour it over myself. It might not have been my most original approach to a situation, but, if it ain’t broke…
At least I wasn’t actively trying to kill anyone, this time. It meant I could focus on my true task. Catching that fucking Pokemon.
I dropped to my knees next to the living room fire someone had lit, and stuck my hand inside the flames. I caught fire pretty quick. That alcohol content must have been pretty impressive. The flames licked at my skin and clothes like a loyal pet, one far more obedient than my actual pet.
It’s warmth was comforting, and not the least bit painful. I fed magic to the fire, increasing the heat. Typically, in a game of fire versus snow storm, there would only be one winner. So, I’d need a little unholy power boost.
I opened the front door to a wall of snow.
“I set fiiiire to the snow, watched it melt as I burn your shit,” I sang softly beneath my breath as I stepped into the wall of white. Water splashed me almost immediately, threatening to diminish my flames, but I gripped them firmly with my magic.
I trudged through the snow as it turned to slush, shutting the door behind me before too much water could get it. Then I located a nearby car and climbed it in order to get above the snow level.
I heard a voice, one close enough to be heard ov
er the howling of the wind, “We witches have hidden away for too long, only using—”
“Wait!” I cried out.
She blinked and her mouth opened slightly in outrage at the interruption.
“Sorry, I didn’t want you to get too deep into your monologue before I could tell you that I don’t care.”
“I…what?”
“Oh, I don’t care what you do.” I held up my phone. “I’m just trying to catch this fucking Charmander.” I opened the app and tapped on the small orange bastard.
“You just came from Nadeen’s home,” she pointed out.
“Oh, yeah. The snow had me trapped in there pretty good. Sorry, can we talk later? I want to catch him before I lose Internet. It’s been spotty thanks to this storm,” I said, giving her a pointed look.
Scowling, she waved a hand and a stray gust of wind knocked the phone from my fingers, which were a little stiff from the cold. I’d been keeping the fire away from my hands so I could use my phone without scorching it. My phone sank four inches down into the snow.
My vision briefly flashed red but I took a deep breath.
“It’s fine, it’s probably fine,” I said, scooping it up out of the snow. The screen was dark. I pressed the unlock button. It came to life. A small ‘you’re going too fast’ message appeared on the screen. I glanced around briefly to confirm that I was, in fact, stationary. I pressed the button to make the message go away but then, a second later, it appeared again.
This happened three times more before it finally stayed off the screen. And the Charmander was gone. I glanced up at the witch in horror.
“You!” I snarled.
Her eyes widened, as if she’d only just realised it might not be the best idea to piss off the girl walking around on fire. She took a step back, her winter boots crunching in the snow.
“You’re screwed.”
With the clouds blocking out most of the sun, calling the shadows to me was ridiculously easy, even with the power drain of maintaining my fire. I wrapped them around the witch like she was a fucking present. Magic was a formidable power but, if you didn’t know where to aim it, you were still screwed.
She cried out in frustration. Drama queen. I moved, just in time to dodge a mini hail storm which hit the spot I’d just been standing in. The hail was the size of golf balls, so dodging it was in my best interests.
Heroes and a Hellhound: Book One Page 15