by K. K. Allen
She glares at him. “You are not my family.” She shakes her head, her eyes losing focus for a second. “I don’t have a family. Why am I here?”
“What’s the last thing you remember?” Paul asks. “Before you saw Erebus claim Katrina?”
My mom seems to consider what he’s asking. “You’re Katrina?”
I nod, unable to hide the sadness pouring from my eyes. “Yes. I’m Katrina. Your daughter.”
There’s an unmistakable flicker of something registering in her mind, but it’s gone just as quickly. “Who’s Erebus? Is that his name? The man in black?”
“You don’t know his name?” My empty stomach churns. After all these years and all her sacrifice, she doesn’t even know his name. Then I remember her journals. She knew his name at one point, before he took her memory again.
She shakes her head. “He never told me his name.” The look on her face breaks my mangled heart. Erebus took not only her memories, but her entire sense of awareness too. He’s positioned himself as her life, as if she’s merely an extension of him, there for his taking whenever he wishes.
“What do you remember?”
“I was at my home in Savannah, baking a cake. That’s what I usually do on Saturdays. I bake.”
There’s a stirring within me as I remember how amazing our apartment always smelled on Saturdays. She did love to bake.
“That’s the last thing I remember before waking up in a strange house on the beach. There were others there too, but we never spoke. He left me there for days, but I couldn’t get out.” She tilts her head in my direction, a spark of recognition lighting her eyes. “I don’t remember much. The days flowed together for the most part. But there was one night… I heard something outside my window. That’s when I saw you. You were on the beach. With a boy. You were so sad, I had to turn away.” My mom looks as if she’s empathetic to whatever pain I felt.
She’s talking about the night I learned of Johnny’s house on the abandoned side of town, which means… Oh, my God, Johnny’s family lived right next door to Erebus and his Followers. Could that be why Erebus had Johnny’s parents killed? To protect their identity if they ever made the connection?
As disturbed as I am, I focus my attention back on my mother. She was there watching us the whole time, except she didn’t know who we were.
Her expression twists as she remembers more, eyes widening with a shudder of her shoulders. “He came for me later that night and claimed me again. He didn’t release me until the night he left me for you.” She looks directly at me, eyes blazing, but when she shakes her head, the look dies.
Confusion fills her demeanor. She’s spent so much time allowing someone to abuse her body and mind that she’s forgotten how to think on her own. I want to throw my arms around her, grip her tightly, and beg her to remember me. But with her memories taken, so is our reunion. “What do you remember after he claimed you?”
She frowns. “Nothing. I can’t remember anything when he claims me.”
None of us speak until Paul breaks the silence. “The man who possesses you is not a good man. Your name is Grace, and you’re my wife… You took our daughter when she was a baby and moved to Silver Lake, North Carolina, where you raised her for almost eighteen years. Then you died… or at least we all thought you died. Katrina moved here to live with Rose, my mother.”
I listen as my dad tells the CliffNotes’ version of our story. There’s so much to explain, but will any of it mean anything to her? Just telling someone they are flesh and blood doesn’t make them love a person or feel loved in return. Sharing a life and creating memories are what bond loved ones together. Without that, there’s nothing but emptiness.
My dad has inched his way to the other side of the bed, and my mom is captivated by his story. “Erebus will be back for you, and if he claims you, we’ll never see you again. The manor is protected, so you’re safe here. I’d like for you to stay with us and work on regaining your memory.”
My mom looks back at him blankly. I’m not sure if she’s processing everything he’s saying until she opens her mouth like she’s about to speak but hesitates. “Why did I leave you?”
My dad’s face falls, and the light in his eyes fades. “Our family history is complicated. We were very much in love, but when you found out that my family’s bloodline descended from magic, all you wanted to do was protect our daughter. So you took Katrina away and threatened to expose our family if I ever came near you two. I’ve been watching from a distance ever since.”
She faces me, her face distorting as if she’s in pain. “You were seventeen when you thought I died. How old are you now?”
“I’ll be twenty in June.”
My mom has a faraway look in her eye, so my father steps around the bed and pulls me out of the room. “Let’s give her some time.”
“What are we going to do? We can’t keep her locked up here, but we can’t just let her go either. She seems so confused. He’s more than possessed her. He’s brainwashed her to the point she thinks he’s her reality.”
My dad gives my shoulders a gentle squeeze and tightens his smile. “I know.” He sighs. “What about you? Are you okay?”
It’s not easy to think about myself right now. “I’m fine. Really.”
Rather than pulling his eyes away, he squints as if searching to see if I’m telling the truth. Then he releases me and smiles. “I’ll stay with her for a while and work with her on her memory. There might even be something Circe can do. I can go see her later, but I’ll need to rest to replenish my energy. Last night took a lot out of all of us.”
I exaggerate a nod, understanding all too well. Then I tilt my head. “I know what you’re going to say, but when we’re rested, I can go to Circe. We already know Erebus can’t get to me when I’m wearing this.” I don’t need to see my father roll his eyes to know he doubts I’ll keep the bracelet on my wrist. “I won’t take it off again. I promise. Let me go, please. Once I get to the plant, I’ll be fine.”
To my surprise, he doesn’t argue. “Maybe you’re right, but I just don’t feel comfortable with you going there right now. Give it a day to rest.” He wraps his arms around me and rests his chin on my head. There is comfort in his embrace, despite our situation. “I’m going to stay with your mother, but we can take shifts if you’d like. Maybe our conversations will spark something in her memory until we can get to Circe.”
I peek over his shoulder. My mom is staring at us, probably listening to every word. “Okay, I’ll be back soon. I want to check on Rose. Johnny said she wasn’t feeling well.”
My dad sighs. “She had to use a great deal of magic to keep Grace from Erebus. She’s a strong, stubborn, old woman, but yesterday took a lot out of her, Katrina.”
I nod, understanding. “Dad,” I say before walking away. I know what I want to say. I’m just not sure how. “Thank you for coming back and for always loving me, even when I didn’t know you did. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
His hold around me tightens, nearly crushing me with its force. From the look in his eyes and the smile on his face, I know that was exactly what he’s been waiting to hear.
Sometimes we look back on our lives and realize we were so focused on moving forward that we forgot to slow down and enjoy the ride along the way, turbulence and all. We skip past the painful moments and use escapes along the way as coping mechanisms. We’re surviving, but we’re not actually living. And on our darkest days, when the waves crash over our heads and force us to battle it out to stay alive, it’s a stark reminder of all the life we have left to live, and not a second of it should be wasted.
I look over at Rose, who sleeps soundly in her bed while I’m curled up beside Charlotte on an oversized chair. My grandmother is the reason I didn’t entirely miss the last two years of my life after my mother’s death. She gave me a home when I didn’t think I would ever have one of those again, she helped me see that my purpose in this life was much bigger than myself, and she never
stopped reminding me that I belonged.
She’s the perfect example of someone who has been faced with numerous obstacles that she uses as fuel to help her fight harder. She’s the strongest person I know. She’s bold and fearless and continues to help our kind find the meaning in their lives when they’ve all but given up. She doesn’t deserve to be here, weak and motionless as her heart beats faintly in her chest. My own chest aches as I remember those ominous words she said to me during our first energy sourcing lesson. What makes us most powerful can also kill us. It’s like she was preparing me for something.
“How are you feeling?” Charlotte asks gently.
I frown. “Physically, like new. Emotionally, a wreck. Mentally, confused. Erebus is still out there. My mom is alive but doesn’t remember anything. Rose overused her energy. And…” I bite down on my lip, wondering if I should say anything, then deciding I have nothing more to lose. “These strange memories are beginning to surface—memories that aren’t my own.”
“Erebus’s memories?” she asks, eyes widening.
I nod. “Somehow I was able to fight him through the invasion. I was stronger than him. My mom doesn’t remember anything when she’s possessed, but I remember almost all of it.” I cringe then look into her eyes. “Charlotte, I could hear his thoughts. He was remembering things about my mom. About the day I thought she died, and other things. But it all just feels like a jumbled puzzle right now.”
Charlotte squeezes my hand. “Don’t force it, Kat. You’ve been through a lot, and while you physically feel recovered, your mind needs to heal too.”
“I know. It just always feels like we’re running out of time.”
Charlotte doesn’t respond, and I know it’s because she feels the same way.
We continue to sit in silence, and I’m grateful for the time to process the onslaught of memories slowly rising to the surface. At some point, I’ll need to piece everything together, but Charlotte’s right—I need to take it easy.
When Rose wakes, Charlotte steps out of the room to give us some time alone. I move to the bedside, with a small smile. “It’s been an adventurous two days, hasn’t it?”
Rose doesn’t speak right away, but her eyes appear moist as she gives me a tight smile. “You can say that.”
I pull myself onto the bed and take her hand. “Do you need to go outside to reenergize? Would that help?” She looks so weak and tired, nothing like the Rose I know.
A tear falls onto her cheek—just one, triggering something in me. Then she sighs. “No, the window is enough for now.” She reaches out as if to stroke my arm, but her hand just rests there. “How is your mother doing?”
I frown. To anyone else, my parents reuniting may feel like a dream come true—and in a way, it absolutely is—but it’s also a nightmare. I don’t get a complete sense of comfort when I think of my mother, especially since she has no clue who any of us are.
“She can’t remember anything. It’s just like when she first arrived here as a teenager. Did you know my mom kept journals?”
She nods. “She was always scribbling away in notebooks when she lived with us. Paul told me you two found them in the storage locker. Have you been reading them?”
“I read some of the entries. Erebus would visit her, and she’d have nightmares about him. He gave some of the story away when he invaded me too. He said she chose him, but she didn’t choose anything. The moment she took off her pendant, he came for her, and he made it seem like—”
Rose squeezes my arm, telling me it’s okay. “In a way, she did choose him, Katrina. She chose to remove her only protection so that you could be safe. The important thing is that she’s back.”
I frown. “But she has no memories.”
“I told Paul to talk to Circe. She might have something that can help her.”
Speaking of the crazy chemist… “So, Circe is the mysterious energy source.”
Rose lets out a heavy sigh, likely relieved to be rid of the secret. “Yes. Well, more people know now, but it’s still important to keep her hidden and safe within our perimeters. Her magic and knowledge are too powerful for just anyone.”
“Does this mean I can ask you questions now?”
Rose grins. “Yes. My secrets are yours now, Katrina. The secrets were only to protect you. I hope you know that, dear.”
“I know.” I smile. “At first, I thought the Solstice energy contained at the plant was the secret, but after speaking to Circe, I understood. Here, I always thought it was Astina who transformed him, but it was Circe.”
Rose nods. “That’s correct. They were good friends, and when they used their magic together, they were a clear threat, and miserable people will always find someone to blame their problems on. Erebus was the cause of his own misfortune, and after Astina’s death, Circe was no better, but she’s become a useful ally again. We keep her safe from him, and she invents recipes to keep our world safe and thriving.”
“Solstice energy, huh?” I grin.
“It’s our greatest accomplishment,” Rose states proudly. “Your grandfather was a genius, Katrina. He created a purpose for our magic greater than anyone had ever attempted. He was an environmentalist and detested pollution. The way Normals insisted on destroying nature for selfish gain kept him up at night. His life’s mission was to find a way to create a sustainable energy source that wouldn’t fill the world with toxins.” She smiles fondly at the memory of her late husband. “I once told you, what we take from the earth, we give back. It’s a cycle of life that keeps us powerful and healthy. We give back to the environment in ways Normals can’t. And that’s the Summer legacy. Not an island we created or a school or the magic within us. All of that is great, but it’s what we do with that magic that makes us special.”
I no longer need to ask questions. Rose is telling me everything.
“Since building the first Solstice energy plant, we’ve opened up plants all around the country in Solstice communities, and we’re expanding inland quickly. Large Enchanter populations contribute to greater energy conservation. In turn, those lost Enchanters, like Charlotte, who stumble upon our towns find us because they’re attracted to our energy storage. It’s the same energy that repels Erebus.”
I gasp, finally understanding the connection between Solstice energy and the protection that was lost on the island. “So when my grandfather protected the island initially, he was able to do it because of the healthy population in the community?”
Rose nods. “That’s right, dear. That and the complicated mixture of energy from specific descendants. But after Erebus and his Equinox clan scared a lot of our people off, and after your grandfather died, we didn’t have enough of the right energy for those same protections.”
I frown, thinking of yet another missing puzzle piece. “So, our communities still aren’t big enough to repel Erebus from every settlement?”
Rose grimaces. “Therein lies our key challenge. No, Katrina, we’re not quite there yet. We’re able to choose certain structures and landmarks to protect us—like the island, our homes, and the plants—and we’ll continue doing so, but it takes a great deal of energy to repel dark energy. With Paul back in town, though, we’ve already made vast improvements.”
An image of my mom staring back at me with those dark, empty eyes at the energy plant gates triggers more confusion. “Wait a second. If I carried dark energy inside me after Erebus took me, then how could I be possessed within the boundaries of the plant?”
Rose cringes and squeezes my hand. “Precisely the reason I wanted to keep you away from that plant. You’re the only one who can penetrate those walls to allow Erebus access. You’re the key he’s been waiting for, and your mom was the pawn. Somehow, she’s able to survive his possessions for long periods of time, which might have something to do with stripping her of the memories of her life prior to arriving in Apollo Beach.”
“What about me? I was able to push him out.”
Rose smirks. “Johnny putting that bracelet b
ack on you helped, but when are you going to believe me, Katrina? You’re much stronger than the average Solstice, and your powers will continue to surprise you. You just have to believe in them.”
It must be nap time in the Summer household. As I’m drifting off, I force my eyes open to find Rose snoring beside me and Charlotte passed out on the couch. The house is silent as I get up and make my way to the bottom floor. It’s not exactly a picture-perfect moment with my mom sleeping soundly in the bed and my dad’s head hanging over the back of the chair. His mouth is wide open, allowing absurdly loud snores to escape. But the sight warms my heart all the same.
I’m exhausted too. Thoughts of my bed lure me upstairs to my room, where Johnny sleeps, nestled peacefully under my covers. I smile. Just the sight of him sends tingles through my entire body.
Ignoring my father’s rule about the covers, I slip into bed beside Johnny, too cold to care and not daring to ask him to move. I inch closer to his warm body, noticing his nude form, save for a pair of boxer briefs. He must be exhausted.
I nuzzle my chin against his chest and inhale his natural scent. Everything about him is so intoxicating, it’s no wonder I become a ball of putty the moment I’m near him. As I draw little circles with my finger on his stomach, I sigh. As much as I know he needs to sleep, I think I need him to hold me more.
“Johnny,” I whisper.
He stirs to the sound of my voice, turning to face me. His eyes open slightly, then he smiles before drawing me flush against his skin. My head nestles in the crook of his arm. All is silent except for his slow and steady breathing.
Instinctively, I reach up and touch his chest, but I find my hand hovering above it instead. I want to reach through his shelter and steady his beating heart, the same one that’s stolen mine. If he only knew the thoughts circulating through my mind right now.
I trade my finger for my lips and kiss his chest before inching my head back onto his arm. The moment my eyes land on his, I’m imprisoned by his gaze. If he continues to look at me like this through hooded eyes, he might as well throw away the key, because I’m never leaving.