by Liz Talley
They stood like this, cloaked in the intimate night.
Finally, he looked at her. “Who hurt you?”
“No one. I’m just . . . there’s just stuff.”
He didn’t say anything.
She looked at him then. “Have you ever seen gay porn?”
That took him aback. He literally shrank from her. “What? Why would you ask me that?”
“Just tell me. Have you ever watched gay porn?”
He stared at her. “Are you asking me if I’m gay?”
She hadn’t thought about that. “No. Are you?”
“No.”
“Good. I mean, for my purposes, it’s good. I just need to know if guys look at gay porn.”
“You mean like girl-girl action?”
“No. I mean guys. Like, two guys.” She coughed and averted her eyes back to the water. She didn’t know why she’d asked him such a question. Other than that she needed to know if it was normal or something to worry about. He was a normal guy—or at least she thought he was—so he should know.
“No. Can’t say I’ve seen two guys having sex. I mean, we snuck and watched Brokeback Mountain when I was in grade school because my friends and I had heard about it, but that wasn’t porn.”
“Oh.” Her phone vibrated in her pocket. She ignored it.
She could feel tears rising in her eyes, and she wanted to stop them. Her body seemed to have a mind of its own, though, because the damned things kept coming. She blinked and felt one drop onto her cheek.
“Ellery, is this about your fiancé?” Gage asked, his voice now absent of its normal edginess.
Something about the sympathy in his tone made everything ten times worse. She swiped at her eyes. “Of course not. I just needed to know, is all. Sorry to have asked something so personal. I barely know you and—”
“Shh,” he said, stepping in front of her. “Just . . . it’s okay. I’m not upset or shocked. I’m concerned because the woman standing in front of me is not the one I met weeks ago.”
Ellery sniffed because her nose felt runny and then dashed more tears away. “News flash: women have a lot of different sides to them. I’m just having a bad day.”
Or a bad month. Or a bad year. Take your pick.
“We all have them. I’m not sure what that has to do with what you asked, but know that everyone has bad days, and sometimes what you think you know, you don’t,” Gage said, his eyes somehow soft in the moonlight.
“I guess,” she said, wishing she could redo so much about this night. So much.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.
“Not really. I want to forget about it. That’s how I deal. I just smile and move on because that’s what you have to do sometimes. Some things are beyond your control, and you have to . . . just suck it up.” Ellery looked up at the sky and gave a little shake of her head. “I’m not really good at sucking it up sometimes, but lately life’s been giving me lots of lessons that have dropped me to my knees.”
As she said the words, the image of those two guys popped into her head. She shivered and folded her arms across her chest, rubbing her arms. How would she ever get that home movie out of her head? How would she ever summon up the courage to ask Josh about why he had it on his computer? How would she know if it was harmless or . . . something more?
A prickling rose on the back of her neck.
“Here,” Gage said, shrugging out of his jean jacket. Beneath he wore a long-sleeved black T-shirt. Or maybe it was navy or some other dark color. She couldn’t tell.
He draped his jacket around her shoulders, and immediately she was enveloped in warmth and the smell of Gage, which was a cross between a men’s cologne Josh would never wear and something almost homey. At that moment she’d never smelled anything better, and she fought the sudden inclination to pull it to her face and use it to block out the world.
She should say thank you or refuse it, handing it back, but instead she hugged his jacket closer to her and tried to think what a slightly drunk, very disillusioned woman did when standing on forbidden land with the sexy bastard whose mocking smile had haunted her for weeks. Everything was wrong about what she was feeling . . . what she was doing here in the dark with a stranger she’d had fantasies about. A reckless disregard for everything she’d planned for her life with Josh urged her toward something dangerous. With a flick of a finger, she could tip the domino and undo the careful pattern she’d meticulously set up.
All it would take would be to reach out to Gage and make it happen.
Gage didn’t seem to know what to do with her silence. He stared at her for a moment, and then he did something rather unexpected. His arms came around her, and he pulled her into . . . a hug.
Ellery didn’t struggle, because being pressed close against Gage felt better than anything she’d felt in a long time. She tucked her head under his chin, her forehead resting against his bare skin, her nose nestled against the soft T-shirt, and stood still in his embrace. His hands gently rubbed her back, and though minutes before she’d thought about something that wasn’t as innocent as a hug, she found herself feeling the comfort she’d been needing so desperately. For a few seconds, she closed her eyes and allowed herself to relax against the warmth of his body.
Eventually, Gage loosened his arms and stepped back. “Good?”
She looked at the center of his chest and nodded.
“Ellery?” he asked softly.
When she looked up, she knew she’d see sympathy in his eyes, and she didn’t want that. She lifted her gaze anyway, but in the grayish-green depths of his eyes, she didn’t see compassion. No. She saw a man who wanted more but wouldn’t allow himself to take it.
The thought that he wanted her but cared enough to do nothing more than hold her did something to her.
So she stepped closer.
“What are you—”
Ellery silenced him the best way a woman could silence a man.
The moment her lips touched his, something inside her broke apart. One hand went around his neck, the other his waist. Liquid heat poured over her as she opened her mouth and tasted him.
For a millisecond, Gage seemed stunned, but she knew he wanted her no matter how much he liked to pretend he didn’t. His arms came around her, and this time there was nothing comforting in his embrace. Hot, hard, beautiful passion spilled from every pore of his body. He cupped her face with one hand and devoured her mouth.
And sweet baby James, the man could kiss. For the first time in her life, Ellery felt nearly dizzy with desire, out of her mind with the need to have this man. She reveled in the passion because she’d never, ever felt so turned on by a man. It felt delicious and not so very wrong at all.
His tongue moved against hers, and he made a growly sound in his throat. He pulled her tighter against him, and she shivered in delight at the hardness of his body.
“Mmm,” she groaned, sliding her hand beneath his shirt. His skin was warm and smooth, and she wanted to feel his naked body against hers. She wanted nothing between them. “I want to . . . I need you to . . . please, Gage.”
He seemed to understand she needed his hands on her body. Gage slid a hand beneath her fluffy hoodie and stilled when he encountered the leather bustier. He wrenched his mouth from hers. “What are you wearing?”
Ellery opened her eyes. “What?”
Gage stiffened as if he realized exactly what they were doing. His hand dropped from her back as he looked down at her. “You wore that for someone else. I can’t . . . I just can’t. This is wrong, Ellery.”
Ellery stared at him, realization landing with a plop. It was wrong. So wrong. “I know. I’m sorry.”
She stepped away.
Gage rubbed his face and shook his head. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“You didn’t. I did. It’s on me.” Ellery pulled his jacket from her shoulders and held it out to Gage. He searched her expression when he accepted it but said nothing more. Ellery gave him a small smile. �
�Thanks for . . . just thanks.”
Then she turned back toward the slope she would climb to take her back to a world she no longer understood. She shouldn’t have kissed Gage. All that had done was make her world even murkier than before, and it was already dark as Mississippi Delta mud.
When she reached the top, she turned around. Gage hadn’t followed her and remained hidden in the pine-dense copse. It was better that way because she was now not only confused but embarrassed that she’d forgotten who she was and allowed her baser instincts to take over. Or maybe it wasn’t baser. Maybe she’d had a need to feel something good. Just one moment of something good in a day that had felt, well, not so good.
Ellery walked briskly back to the room she was supposed to share with her fiancé. At this point, her plan for the night lay like cold ashes in a forgotten grate. The room was dark when she slipped back through the doors. In the moonlight she could see Josh curled into a ball beneath the coverlet. At the click of the door, he didn’t budge. Ellery slipped her phone from her hoodie pocket and saw he’d texted her three times.
Where are you?
You okay? I thought you were waiting up for me?
I’m going to bed, babe. So tired.
This time Ellery didn’t try to stop the tears that slipped from her eyes.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Daphne’s morning had started out nicely.
After a disastrous, tense dinner next to her ass of an ex-husband, she’d fled to her room before she could bump into Clay or have to spend another moment listening to Rex talk about scuba diving in Belize. Seemed it was “amazing,” and she should “totally go.”
Hey, she would have loved to leave Shreveport behind and sun on a beach somewhere. Rex knew this because she’d talked about getting certified and taking some trips once Ellery was in college and they no longer had the grind of soccer games, cheer camp, and National Honor Society inductions. They would take long weekends, leaving Pinnacle Heating and Air in the capable hands of Betsy Morgan, a cute, young divorcée who had taken over most of the office management when Daphne had to scale back in order to write and keep up with the demand of Dixie Doodle. But divorce had come before rest and relaxation. Then Cindy had not liked the attractive redhead spending time with Rex, so Rex had let Betsy go. Cindy had taken over, leaving her part-time RN position to do the receivables. Daphne knew Cindy didn’t have a background in office management or bookkeeping, but it was no longer her business. She kept ownership of her intellectual property, and Rex kept ownership of Pinnacle. That was agreed upon in mediation during their divorce.
So, yeah, she would love to go to Belize, but at present her deadlines would keep her at her computer.
When she woke that morning, Daphne passed on a cup of tea and instead pulled on her old trainers, a pair of running leggings, and a pullover, then went for a jog.
The path through the gated neighborhood wound around a community lake and undeveloped woods bright with fall foliage. The slap, slap of her feet on the pavement paired with the zing of coolness on her face did much to improve her mood. Her favorite playlist—a mix of Van Halen and Aerosmith—was the perfect accompaniment even if she found the hilly terrain an extra challenge. Her normal route back in Shreveport was fairly flat, and in the last few months she’d decreased the amount she ran because her knees had started aching. Getting old sucked.
As she came around a corner, she nearly crashed into Evan McCallum, who leaped aside at the last minute.
“Hey,” he said, jogging in place and flashing her an engaging smile. He didn’t even seem out of breath.
Daphne tugged her earbuds out and leaned over to grasp her knees. Breathing hard, she managed, “Lord, I’m not used to these hills.”
Evan stopped jogging. “Yeah, they can get you sometimes. I’m on the last leg of my run. Want to join me?”
She wasn’t sure she could keep up. “I’m not a fast runner.”
“That’s okay. I’m cooling down. Come on,” he said, jerking his head toward a side street she’d avoided on her first pass.
“What the hell,” she muttered and followed him down the leaf-strewn street.
“This is the loop where my family lives,” he said, his breath coming in short bursts. His body was taut and compact, legs long, and his shoes ones Runner’s World had touted as the shoe of the year for avid runners. Auburn hair glinted when the sunlight hit it, and the teeth that flashed in a charming grin were glacier white. Overall, he was a compelling, fit man. “Up there is my sister Marin’s house. She and her husband have three children, ages fifteen to eight. Next to that is my sister Maureen’s house. She doesn’t stay here year-round because she’s a travel photographer. Her son, Gage, lives there and helps at the winery. He’s a programmer who writes games. Like video games. He’s really talented, and some big firms have been after him. He’s moving out west soon.”
Daphne managed a nod and was glad she could do that. Evan’s stride was much longer, and she was having trouble keeping up. Her breath tore from her lungs, but she had too much pride to fall behind.
Evan glanced over at her and slowed his pace. “Sorry. I didn’t realize I was killing you.”
“No problem,” she gasped, trying to look like she wasn’t about to fall over. “I love that house.” She nodded at the large rustic home constructed of stacked stone, stucco, and large cedar beams. Orange cypress trees sat against the evergreens embracing the house that looked straight out of Log Cabin Today or whatever those magazines were called that had the huge rustic houses overlooking lakes and mountains.
It looked like the lake house she and Rex had always dreamed of building on their lot on Caddo Lake. They’d scoured blueprints and clipped magazine photos in preparation for building a house on the land where an ancient cabin now sat. Rex had been saving money for the down payment, but that had gone to pay for the court costs of their divorce. Oh, the irony.
“That one’s mine,” he said with a grin.
“Gorgeous,” she managed now that he’d slowed down. “I always wanted one like that at the place we have on the lake. Currently my lake getaway is one stiff wind from collapse.”
“It’s not that bad. At least you have a pier.”
“You know I have a pier?” Had she blogged about that? Maybe Ellery had. She vaguely recalled something over the summer about swimming and jumping off the pier. Ellery loved to embellish things and had probably made their lake house sound more chic than the simple old house that was a glorified shack.
“Yeah, of course,” he said with a laugh.
Again she got a weird feeling. He was so familiar with her. Maybe she’d met him somewhere and forgotten about it. She’d done things like that. Being a writer meant being in perpetual la-la land, and when she was working an idea or brainstorming an illustration, she could get so wrapped up, she forgot where she was. Once she’d sat for thirty minutes on the toilet at T.J. Maxx when she’d gotten a breakthrough on a direction for the story line she was stuck on. No lie. So she may have met Evan before. Yet surely someone as attractive as Evan would have imprinted on her brain. He was yummy with a cherry on top.
She wanted to ask him about his wife. When she’d looked up information on the bed and breakfast and the vintner, she’d discovered an article on Evan spotlighting him as a single dad. The attached picture of him and Poppy riding on a donkey had made her smile, but the article had been vague about his wife’s death. Of course it would be rude to ask.
“Well, it’s beautiful.”
“My wife’s idea. She was from Colorado and missed the mountains. It was our compromise when I moved back here to help my father run the vineyard when he was ill. Building this house made her happy for a while.”
Did that mean she was unhappy? She wanted to ask more but knew it would be too nosy. “Texas is a big change from Colorado.”
He laughed. “You think?”
He slowed and started walking. “You okay to walk the rest of the way? I did five, and my legs are protesting
.”
Praise Jesus. She didn’t know how much farther she could have gone. Daphne slowed to a walk, wiping sweat from her brow and trying not to sound like Jason beneath the hockey mask with her breathing. “This is good. Those hills . . . whew. Killer.”
Evan smiled, and that grin did something to her stomach. The man was incredibly good looking. “Heather grew to appreciate Texas, but she never got over the heat. I lost her a few years ago, you know.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I am, too. Especially for Poppy. She misses her . . . or at least she misses having a mom. Heather suffered from depression. I mean, I know you probably already guessed as much.” He gave her a cryptic look.
Daphne did not guess that. How was she supposed to infer that his wife’s death was related to depression? Had she committed suicide? The thought was horrific, and she didn’t know quite what to say. So she said nothing.
“Sorry I took the conversation in that direction. We were having a good time.” He physically shook himself and pasted a smile on his face. “So how is your daughter enjoying her weekend? I hope everything is meeting her expectations?”
Daphne couldn’t very well admit her daughter was so complicated she needed a road map to discern Ellery’s emotions. There were times she knew Ellery enjoyed herself. Like last night when Josh had finally arrived and then doted on her the entire meal, even spooning the hazelnut crème brûlée into her mouth and insisting she have an extra dessert. Ellery had finally looked pleased and reverted to her former glittering self. Daphne had found great pleasure in Ellery laughing and enjoying herself.
When Daphne had slipped off to bed, she’d glimpsed Ellery’s gang clinking glasses in the bar—Clay with them, thankfully unaware she’d peeked in. All looked to be laughing and happy. Daphne had hit the pillow comforted by the thought the weekend might turn out to be successful. Rex had even paid for the meal last night, which had been a nice surprise. “We surprised her with this destination, so she didn’t really have expectations, but she’s really enjoying it. We are doing the tour of the winery today and a tasting. I think everyone’s looking forward to that.”