'Even if they are discovered May, it will make absolutely no difference to the findings of the investigation. The bodies are those of the Romanovs; everyone, including yourself, has agreed to that. I mean, sure, it would be nice if they were found so that the remains could finally be buried as a family unit, but I'm sorry, you don't need to be there for that'.
She thought frantically of anything else she could say to convince him to change his mind, and debated whether or not she should say something to James about the possibility that there may have been a conspiracy regarding the discovery and opening of the grave, but knew that she couldn't, and certainly not over a telephone line that may not be secure. Besides, she still didn't know what Katya's revelations might mean. Apart from the fact that crucial forensic evidence, which may have helped with her work had been withheld from the beginning, and still was for that matter, she had no idea of what if any further implications might be.
May knew that even if she did say something about it to James, he would tell her in no uncertain terms that Russian conspiracies, or whatever this was, was none of her business, and he would undoubtedly remind her that he had given that warning right from the beginning, before she had even left London!
'What about Matt and the girls?' He asked, 'how do they feel about you staying there for what would end up being close to a year? Or haven't you told them yet?'
That hurt, because it was the truth; she hadn't thought about them, not properly anyway, for weeks, let alone told them that she was seriously considering not coming back for ages and that she might not be with them for Christmas, or for birthdays. How on earth could she justify that?
James' words had made her feel so guilty, almost as though she was abandoning them, and it wasn't just because of Olga, it was Agni too. She couldn't leave him. She loved him and wanted to stay in Russia with him. And of course, she couldn't tell James that.
'I'll talk to them. I'll come home at Christmas and explain it to them. They'll understand how important this is to me.'
'Understand what May? You haven't told me anything as we've talked here today that has convinced me to agree to you staying over there for another six months.'
She could sense that James was getting frustrated, and a note of terseness had come into his voice. She knew that she was beginning to push him a little bit too far and that if she persisted, he would soon get angry with her, and then there would be no hope of convincing him.
'How will you make them understand when you can't even make me understand May? They're your family. Just what is going on over there?
'Nothing James, honestly. I just feel that the job is not completed and that I have a duty to stay here until it is.'
'Well, you don't. I asked you to go over there to assist in the identification of the bodies found in that grave, and that is what you have done. There is no reason for you to stay any longer.'
'James, please…..'
'No May, this is not up for negotiation. If you are not back in London by Christmas, I will consider that you are absent without leave, and I will no longer pay your salary. That's my final word. I'll have Leyla confirm what I have just said in a letter. Please contact her directly regarding anything else. She will make your travel arrangements for you if you come back as and when I have requested, however, if you choose not to, and aren't back and ready to start work again in the New Year, then I'm sorry, but any travel arrangements will have to be at your own cost.
There was silence between them until he said, softer this time.
'Please reconsider this May, I want and need you back, and I really don't want to lose you.'
And he rang off. May sat, holding the dead receiver in her hand, stunned that he could have been so abrupt.
She got up and started pacing angrily across the room, backward and forwards, raging at him, how dare he speak to her like that, basically threatening to sack her if she didn't go back. Who the hell did he think he was?
She poured herself a large glass of wine and drank it in two quick gulps, which was a huge mistake as it made her feel so dizzy, she had to quickly sit down again. She poured herself another glass and started pacing again, slower this time, until the truth and logic of what James had said finally hit her, and she crumpled down onto the bed head in hands, her eyes filling with tears.
She was still angry, but mainly she felt sorry for herself. It just wasn't fair! But of course, James was right. He was her employer and paid her wages, and he was paying all expenses related to her stay in Russia. She was duty-bound to follow his lawful instruction. She had done her job, just as he had asked her to, and it was certainly not unreasonable for him to tell her that it was time to come back. Her problem and she well knew it wasn't about her job anymore, it was now personal, and had nothing to do with James.
She had to make a decision. Resign her job and stay in Russia with Agni and continue to search for peace for Olga as a private citizen? Or return to London to her career, the girls, and maybe Matt if there was still a future for them? And did she even want a future with him? After being with Agni for these last couple of months, she knew that she no longer had feelings for Matt. He would always be a good friend, respected as the father of her children, but that would be all it would ever be now.
May didn't know what to do or how she could even begin to make such a difficult choice. She didn't even know whether Agni wanted her to stay and for them to be a couple. What about his wife, would he leave Dinara for her? They had never discussed a future, they just lived for the now, day by day, anything more than that was always going to be too complicated.
She decided not to tell Agni about her conversation with James, and that she would let it lie for a few days until she had thought things through. She still had time, whatever she decided to do, and didn't have to make a decision immediately. Deep inside, she knew she was a coward, and that didn't sit well with her. She was changing into another person.
She pretended that everything was fine when Agni came back later that afternoon; he had decided that they were going to the park for a picnic dinner and had arrived with a basket of bread cheese, cold meat, and her favourite apple cake.
Thankfully, he didn't notice she had been crying or was in any way upset, gathering her up in his arms for a long leisurely kiss, before rushing her out of the room and the hotel for their walk to the park.
‘I know it’s a bit late because it happened back in September.’ Agni announced as he poured their wine. ‘But let’s toast Ekaterinburg officially reverting back to its historical name of Yekaterinburg again! It’s not every day that something momentous like that happens my May!’
He leaned over to kiss her, and she couldn't help laughing. Agni's constant cheerfulness was a balm to her aching heart, she could never stay sad for long while she was around him.
She lay awake that night, wrapped in his arms, listening to his deep, even breathing. She loved him so much and didn't know if she could leave him. His smell, his shape, the way they fit together as though they always had. And she cried soft, slow tears that dripped onto the bedsheet because she knew that whatever decision she eventually made was going to break her heart.
Nineteen
Yekaterinburg, Russia
November 1991
It had been two weeks since May and James had spoken on the phone, and she had still not come to any decision about leaving to go back to England. Neither had she talked to Agni and as the days went by, she found that it became harder for her to broach the subject with him. They continued, as usual, spending their days together at the morgue, painstakingly continuing the work of putting the skeletons back together.
Howard and his team had left and gone back to America, so there were just the six of them working there again, with only the occasional visits from officials from Moscow to break the monotony. The officials spent their time inspecting the skeletons and holding long conversations behind closed doors with Nikhil. He never relayed the content of those discussions back to the rest of them
, but, as nothing seemed to change, May just assumed that the officials were happy with the progress being made and, therefore, content to let the project continue.
The information from Katya regarding the possibility that the grave had been opened previously was always forefront in May's mind, and she wondered if this was the topic of conversation between Nikhil and the Moscow officials. She invariably made sure to be careful not say or do anything that might place herself in a position that would compromise what she knew. Often Agni would look at her as if he knew what she was thinking, and at those times, she knew that he felt the same.
Before leaving, Howard had managed to obtain permission to take bone samples from each skeleton back to the States for independent DNA testing, which meant that the Americans and the British would both be conducting tests.
May had no idea how long these were likely to take, but she estimated it would be months. Months in which she knew James would expect her to be spending in London.
The morgue seemed quieter and somehow emptier without the presence of the three Americans, and she missed Howard and the comfortable companionship and expertise he had provided.
Agni had moved from his hotel room into hers, and they spent their evenings and nights together; they no longer dissembled the truth of their relationship. No-one had said anything, at least not to her, and if they had, she would have told them to mind their own business. She sometimes wondered whether word about her relationship with Agni had got back to James. Someone was reporting back to him about the progress of the investigation, it was quite likely she was being discussed too. Her personal life was none of James' business either as far as she was concerned.
She loved waking up next to Agni every morning, wrapped in his arms, then breakfasting and travelling into work together. She never tired of him or being around him.
She had noticed, however, that Katya had become distant, in particular since their conversation in the park, and while they still maintained a friendly professional relationship, Katya no longer joined her and Agni at dinner or for coffee afterward in their room. She always seemed to have some excuse not to, or was not present at the hotel, preferring to stay with her relatives in another part of the city. She had even stopped joining in their friendly banter while they were working.
May thought that Katya was under a lot of pressure, and she could, to a certain point, understand why. Katya was keeping secrets. May had, on occasions, observed her and Nikhil engaged in heated discussions, bordering on arguments. They spoke together in Russian, and although May had picked up a couple of words and phrases since she had been there, she found it impossible to follow them.
Katya always appeared upset after one of these exchanges with Nikhil, and would often excuse herself and leave the morgue, returning hours later, red-eyed and morose.
'Is everything alright?' May asked her after one episode. 'Can I help with anything?'
'No, thank you May, I am quite fine.' Katya responded offhandedly, returning to her work, leaving May to worry about her even more.
That evening, back at the hotel, she was startled by a soft knock on her door. She knew it couldn't be Agni as he had been delayed at the morgue with Nikhil. On opening the door, she saw it was Katya.
'Katya, come in,' she smiled, opening the door wider. 'This is a surprise.'
'I can't stay long, May. I have just come to tell you that I have been ordered off the project and am leaving to return to Moscow early tomorrow morning.' She sank slowly into the armchair.
May was shocked and couldn't think of anything appropriate to say.
'You have probably noticed that Nikhil and I have been arguing a lot lately.' Katya said wryly.
'Well, yes, I have, and I have wondered what it has been about. But there is still so much work to be done Katya, why on earth would they send you away now?'
Katya let out a small, mirthless laugh. 'It's politics May, purely that. I have upset too many people, have spoken out too much, and I am being punished for it.'
'I don't understand.'
Katya sighed. 'You remember the first day I met you when I said I had major concerns about the exhumation and how the remains have been treated since then? Well, I'm afraid that my comments have upset quite a few people who see it as a criticism against the Government.' She gave another short, barking laugh. 'That cannot be tolerated.' She looked up and smiled shakily. 'Also, I think that you will remember what I told you and Agni that evening in the park?'
'Yes, of course.'
'Well, it seems that someone has found out that I spoke about it to you….'
'I swear Katya that I never said anything to anyone.'
'I know that, and neither did Agni I am absolutely sure of that, but they have ways of finding things out here.'
'Are you in danger, Katya?' May asked in horror.
'No, I don't think so, but it's probably best that I do go now to avoid any possible escalation of the situation. Nikhil and I also can't agree on the identification of the bodies, that is a major disagreement that we are not going to be able to resolve. Besides, it's time to go home, I miss my family.' She smiled sadly.
They sat in silence for a few moments, May poured herself a glass of wine, but Katya declined her offer.
'Before I go, May,' Katya continued, her voice strained. 'I wanted to let you know the implications of what I told you about. Apart from the forensic angle of course, and the fact that you were invited here to assist us and were then lied to, which of course I feel extremely ashamed about and can only express my regret again for, it would seem that the Government may have been directly responsible for the condition in which the remains were found in back in July.'
'How do you mean?' May asked in bewilderment.
'We have learned that numerous searches for the grave were conducted between 1976 and when it was eventually found the first time in 1979. It's apparent that the Government knew and have known all the time where the Romanovs could be found. Back in 1918, Yurovsky left quite clear notes on where he had disposed of them.'
'But why did it take so long to start searching and then to eventually find them if they knew all along where they were?'
'There was huge interest in the fate of the Romanovs in the West by that time, and of course, the whole Anastasia mystery was rife. The Soviet Government must have decided to put an end to this, but rather than say that they knew all the time where the remains were, they set it up so that the grave would be found out of the blue, just like that!' Katya snapped her fingers in emphasis.
'And of course, gave the searchers the exact information that they needed to find it.'
'Yes,' Katya affirmed. 'That was the 1979 discovery. That then left them free to conduct their own unofficial exhumation, in which they would have wanted to make sure that the grave only contained nine bodies as per what Yurovsky had always said, and confirmed his account that two bodies had been disposed of separately.'
'But why? I don't understand.'
'So that they could come up with a story to explain why two bodies were missing, publish Yurovsky's notes, and absolve themselves of all prior knowledge of where the grave was.'
'Are you saying then that it was the Soviet government who likely tampered with the grave sometime before 1991?'
'Yes.'
'What about the missing bones? Could they have been responsible for that? Might they have removed them?'
'I just don't know that May. I have asked Nikhil, and he says he doesn't know either. To be fair, I believe he is telling the truth when he says that. He has no reason to lie to me, I know everything else.'
'The whole thing is just terrible,' May muttered. 'Although it certainly explains a lot of things. For example, why the remains were so disordered when found, so mixed up, and body parts where they shouldn't have been.'
May poured herself another glass of wine, but Katya refused again.
'I am making an early start in the morning; I don't want to risk sleeping in. Wine can do that to me sometimes
.'
'Do the others know that you are leaving? Does Agni know?'
'Yes, they do. I saw Agni before I left the morgue this evening, and I told him. I said that I was no longer needed and that I was homesick, so I obtained Nikhil's permission to leave. He asked me a few questions, but I think he believed me.'
'He will miss you; I mean, we all will.'
'I have known Agni for a long time, both professionally and privately.' Katya said suddenly.
May suddenly felt a little bit uncomfortable talking to Katya about Agni like this. Her voice had changed, her tone had become colder, less friendly.
'Actually, there is something else that I wanted to say to you before I leave May.' Katya took a deep breath before going on. 'It's about your relationship with Agni.'
'I'm sorry I don't……'
'Please don't deny it May, I know that you are together and that he has moved in here with you.' She looked pointedly at the open wardrobe, at Agni's hanging shirts and carefully lined up shoes.
'Has he told you much about his wife, Dinara, and their life together in Moscow?'
May was taken aback and was not sure whether to answer, but before she could, Katya continued. 'I have known them both since childhood. We went to school together, and I was at their wedding. Has he told you this?'
'No.'
'I didn't think so. Dinara lost her parents in a car crash when she was a teenager. Agni's family took her in as she had no-one else. They grew up together and fell in love. They have never known anyone else but each other.'
'I am sure that…..'
Again, Katya interrupted, 'Dinara is very ill. She has had a breakdown and is in a psychiatric hospital in Moscow, as a result of trying to kill herself. This, I think you do know?'
'Yes, Agni has told me.' May found herself responding defensively.
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