What?!
“I know where Cathy is.”
My heart skipped a beat.
Where?
“Okay, so she’s at the Tower of Unceasing Torment. Now, it sounds worse than it is. Well, no, it really is that bad, but… at least I know where she is, so, there’s that.”
Argh!
“Right. Listen, we’re going to get it figured out, but if you should have some sort of army that would be really good. Or perhaps just your Magick—hey, where did your Magick go?”
Soul… split…
“Damn. No fooling?”
I kicked at Grundel, but his massive bulk kept me pinned to the car door.
No… fooling…
“Well ain’t that just a pisser. Oh, crap.” the tiny Imp looked away briefly before returning to me. “Looks like I’ve got company. I’m sure you have this well in hand…”
Save… her…
“Yes, boss. That’s what I’m doing. Gotta run. Oh, one last thing. Why don’t you try using the Thinning? It's Wild Magick, but it beats drowning—gotta run!”
With that the tiny Imp vanished from the mirror.
The Thinning… Wild Magick.
You didn’t just go using Wild Magick without consequences, or at least without making sure your will was up to date.
My lungs let me know it was this or sprout gills, so I did what any other self-respecting Magician in my situation would have done. I shoved my hand in the pocket of Ed’s jeans and wrapped my fingers around the remains of Private Petty’s roadside marker.
“Infestous!” I shouted, giving up all but the last of my air in a single burst.
The Wild Magick of the Thinning surged through me. I tried to control it, but Wild Magick was wild for a reason, and it wanted very little to do with my attempts to coerce it.
Just like Stewart before him, Private Petty’s voice boomed in my head.
“Sir, what is going on?”
Possession… stab… gator… please.
“This is very unorthodox and I can’t say I’m in agreement with your chosen course of action—”
Die… together… then.
White-hot anger surged in my arms and I found them grabbing the side-view mirror, then yanking the entire assembly out of its rusted frame. It was a strange sensation having Private Petty running the show, but I had to admit the kid was effective.
Wild Magick roared as together we slammed the metal arm of that mirror down on Grundel’s head. It skipped across his boney scales before plunging deep into a glowing golden eye.
Nice…
Private Petty wasn’t done. He unbuttoned the loaner jeans and shimmied out of them, then kicked with whatever we had left to drive the spike deep into Grundel’s tiny gray matter.
Wait… reconciliation… wheel.
I fought to get control away from the Private, willing him to go back for the pants, the pocket of which held the burned remnants of the picture disc from the Viewmaster that split my soul.
“Those photos or your life. We don’t have enough oxygen for both.”
Wheel… is… life.
The Private kicked off, pushing us toward the surface, but I wasn’t willing to let the pants go without a fight.
Animus…
The Wild Magick fought me, resisting my efforts, so I pushed harder, even as the denim faded from view below me.
Animus.
The Thinning was closing—whatever I hoped to achieve I wasn’t going to succeed if I didn’t hurry.
Animus!
For an instant, I thought I saw the pants move, but Private Petty turned my attention to the surface and the silvery moonlight that broke through large lily pads. We erupted beneath the thin layer of algae that covered the swamp water, gasping for breath in the cool night air.
Private Petty’s rugged determination had been enough to get us to the surface, but it took our combined efforts to dog paddle toward the shore.
“Gene!” Little Ed shouted, his voice breaking the stunned silence of the Alligator Men.
Private Petty urged my body toward the young Demon Hunter’s voice, pushing me forward with each stroke.
“You can do it, sir.”
Thanks, kid.
Together we half-swam and half-crawled the last few yards, then collapsed on the bank gasping for air.
The Thinning waned and took with it the Wild Magick fueling my control over the deceased Private.
“Time… to… get out,” I said, urging the ghost toward the mental door.
“There are still too many threats, sir.”
“Private!”
Before I knew it Private Petty had me on my feet. Sure, I had no pants, but the young fencing champ made sure I had a perfectly balanced ghostly saber in my hands.
“The chief represents our main threat, and once he’s neutralized then we can move to the next step.”
I shook my head and fought against the stubborn spirit. “No, he lost his children.”
Private Petty raised my hand and the saber with it. “He is a threat and must be stopped.”
For his part the Bull Gator appeared stunned. It’s not every day your champion gets beaten in his own lair, and you’re left with a pantsless ex-Magician.
“Private, stand down.”
My words fell on deaf ears. The young soldier pushed me toward the Bull Gator, imaginary lines of possible thrusts and feints filling my vision. With the last of the Wild Magick fading it took with it any chance I had to push the ghost back out, and it didn’t take long for Private Petty to figure that out.
“Stop fighting me,” the spirit said. “You know this is for the best. I will save us both, and then—”
“And then what? Then you go on a murder spree? No amount of death is going to bring your wife and daughter back.”
The young soldier slowed, his will slipping.
“You aren’t safe. I can make you safe. I can make all of you safe. I…”
“Private, stand down. That’s an order.”
“Sir.” Private hesitated and with it his saber drooped. “All I ever wanted to do was keep them safe. You have to understand that.”
“I do, Private. I do. I had a family too once. I know what sacrifice is.”
The pit of my stomach collapsed as the sorrowful spirit of Private Petty let go. Without the strong soldier’s will to keep me upright, I dropped to my knees in front of the Bull Gator and did my best to not look completely helpless.
The last of the Thinning dissipated like fog burned off in the sun, leaving me pants-less, sword-less, and without my Magick in front of the Bull Gator.
Well, Private, I hope to hell this is the right call.
“I do too, sir.”
19
Mail Time
“I still can’t believe it, and I was there!” an excitable Little Ed said, pushing apart a stumpy clump of saw palmetto so I could get by. “I thought for sure you were a goner.”
“So did I.” I willed my exhausted legs to take me past the little green palm bushes without further damage to the loaner jeans.
“Mom, did you—”
“Yes, Eddie.” Kaylee’s voice was sharp and more than a little stern when she cut off her son mid-sentence. “I was there. I saw the pants rise out of the water and walk their way up the shore.”
“That was amazing! Scared the heck out of the Alligator Men, and me… but only for a few seconds.”
I smiled—it was pretty damn impressive, even for me.
Right from the beginning I’d figured there was little chance of reasoning with a very pissed-off chief, but I hadn’t been about to let Private Petty cut him down. He may have been scaly and terrifying, but he was also a dad, and that’s a pain I knew all too well.
“You channeled Wild Magick from that Thinning,” Kaylee said, her stern voice tightening up a few notches. “Do you know how insane that was?”
“I do.”
The Swamp Witch turned back to face me, fire in her eyes. “I don’t think you do.
That was Wild Magick—you had no idea what it could have done. Just because you did it once, and made yourself a pair of walking pants in the process, doesn’t mean it won’t blow up in all our faces the next time.”
“There won’t be a next time,” I said, carefully avoiding a series of large mounds certain to be riddled with sleeping fire ants.
“And how do you know that?”
“I know that because I still have this,” I said, holding up the burnt and soaking photo wheel. “I’m going to put my soul back together, and when I do, I won’t need to hunt and peck for Wild Magick. I’ll be me.”
I checked the images again. I didn’t know exactly how, but I’d gained a square on my evil half. Nine memories against seven black squares—I’ll take it.
“You lost the Viewmaster. You said it yourself. They were destroyed by your Darkling, unmade in the truck bed of the peanut hauler.”
“I’ve got a couple options. Don’t worry about me.”
Just get here in one piece, Adam…
Kaylee rolled her eyes and slapped aside a dense rosemary bush with her staff. “I don’t.”
We continued to trudge through the scrub-brush swamp for what felt like hours. It was exhausting work, even with the spring in my step provided by the Magickal capris. I was all but spent from my fight with Grundel and with Private Petty, but to the victor went the spoils, I had my life, the picture disc… and Ten Spins’ book.
When the possessed pants had risen out of the swamp water like a B-movie monster, the Alligator Men scattered. Maybe it had been the possessed denim, but more likely it had been the sudden loss of Grundel that rocked their reptilian world.
Either way, none of us had hung around long enough for a post-mortem briefing.
I squeezed the dense book under my arm. It was more than a treatise on terrifying Magick of nigh-epic proportions—it was also my link to Tristan Shelldeck. Once I had my power back the first order of business was going to be tracking down that kid, and I was going to use the book to do it.
Little Ed scampered across a fallen cypress that formed a makeshift bridge above the muck before stopping to confront his mom. “Where did you go?”
“What do you mean where did I go?” the Swamp Witch said, crossing the log and using her staff for support when needed. “I was there the whole time.”
“Not at the house you weren’t. I set Gene up with the Mailstation and by the time we turned around you were gone.”
“I had something to attend to, that’s all.”
“Did that something have anything to do with all those plastic pink flamingos you have on the porch?” I asked, easing over the slippery tree with mud-covered feet.
“It’s not your concern.”
“Like hell it’s not,” I said after reaching the other side, damn happy to not have fallen in. “I’ve seen flocks like that before. I know how they happen, and I have the distinct impression you don’t.”
Kaylee pressed forward, knocking aside low branches in the process. “I do not need, nor want your help. They’re trash, that’s all. Some kids must be playing around in the deep swamp and they left those damn things behind.”
“Oh yeah? Kids bring plastic birds to the Green Swamp now? Is that a thing?”
Kaylee ignored me, and instead stomped through the underbrush, laying waste to a small patch of ghostly, green deer moss.
“I’m going to guess that’s a no,” I said, happy to have what remained of the soft and spongy moss under my tired feet. “If it is the Flock you’re going to need to tread lightly.”
We broke through the last line of vegetation and arrived at Kaylee’s swamp house for the second time tonight.
“Eddie, go get a fire going. Gene’s soaked and he’s going to need to dry out. Also see if you can find another pair of—”
“No,” I said, interrupting the Swamp Witch. “No more brotherhood of the traveling pants. I’ll keep these.”
“Fine. Eddie, go get him a new shirt and start that fire.”
“You got it, Mom.”
The lanky Demon Hunter scrambled up the steps and into the house before Kaylee turned her attention to me.
“I need to know everything you know about those flamingos.”
“Whatever happened to ‘it’s none of your concern,’” I said, feigning disinterest and walking past her toward the house.
The Swamp Witch’s staff slipped under my chin and blocked my way to the steps. “I’m making it your concern now.”
I placed a hand on the staff. Kaylee might not have been the most powerful Witch I’d ever met, but that staff had more than a little Magick built up in it, and I was in no position to be on the business end of it in my present state.
“Delia.”
“Who?”
“Sangre Reina… it was a long time ago.”
Kaylee tilted her head. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Word really doesn’t make its way in up here does it?”
The Swamp Witch pressed her staff deeper into the soft fleshy part of my neck. “Who is Delia and what is she doing in my swamp?”
“She was a deplorable human being—if you could even call her human. Insatiable blood lust and cruelty really takes away from the whole ‘human spirit’ sort of thing.”
I tried to push past her, but Kaylee wouldn’t pull back the staff.
“What do you mean ‘was’ a deplorable human being? What is she now?”
“Well, I Soul-Split her, so much like me she was reduced to a shell of her former self. Unlike me, however, her Darkling was expertly trapped.”
“You Soul-Split another Magician? That’s a capital crime!”
“You don’t think I know that? The woman was murdering innocents and drinking their blood.”
“Why would she—”
“To keep herself sexy and vibrant, among other things. Delia was hundreds of years old, but when I knew her she still looked like a cover-girl model.”
Kaylee’s staff dipped slightly.
“Then why is she in my swamp?”
I placed a hand on the staff and pressed it down gently, looking Kaylee directly in the eyes. “She’s not, trust me. She’d be far too old now. Still, she was my first exposure to the Flock. Those birds are enigmatic and tricky. There’s a lot of baggage there. My expert opinion is that you should stay the heck away from wherever the Flock is.”
“And if I don’t?”
I pointed to Kaylee’s head. “Then you better hope your mental muscles are up to snuff.”
The Swamp Witch tilted her head. “Huh?”
“I’ll explain it to you in the morning. Right now I’m going to eat, sleep, and find out what the hell the person who stole this book was looking to do with it.”
“Hey, Gene!” Little Ed’s face appeared at the door. Already, the first hints of roasted alligator wafted out to greet me.
Alligator? Really?
“I’ve always wanted to say this.”
“What?”
“You’ve got mail!”
20
Flapjacks and Family
The mouth-watering smell of fresh eggs cooking on a well-seasoned griddle did little to diminish the tiredness that had settled in my bones. One of the downsides to staying with Kaylee and her son in the middle of the Green Swamp had to have been the nighttime noises. First, I had no idea there were that many species of frog, and second, I hadn’t known that if you put enough of them together, they could go toe-to-toe with a commercial jetliner.
“More coffee?” the pleasant young waitress asked, holding out a steaming silvery pot.
“Just keep it coming,” I said, my hand doing its best to keep my head upright. “Thanks.”
“Sure thing.” She smiled, then worked her way back to the counter to check on our breakfast.
While I might not have been the most agreeable person in the morning, the Swamp Witch was nigh unbearable. “We could have just eaten at my house. I don’t understand why you had to drag us all the
way to Lacoochee.”
Sigh.
“First,” I said, squinting at the local paper before setting it aside. “I didn’t want last night’s leftovers for breakfast. I like your son’s cooking as much as the next guy, but I think I’ve had enough alligator for one lifetime.”
Kaylee frowned and poked at her coffee with a spoon.
“And second,” I said, not taking the bait. “Adam indicated he’d meet me here, and if there’s a chance he’s going to show up, then I’m not going to miss it.”
The Swamp Witch toyed with a long braid she’d decided to wrap around her forehead like a crown. It seemed like a decidedly younger woman’s style, but seeing as I had no idea what worked in the world of women’s fashion I thought it best to keep my mouth shut.
“Fine, while I’m waiting for you to stuff your heart full of grease, mind telling me what you can about this Delia character?”
I fought down a scalding sip of the motor-oil-grade coffee before responding. “You should be asking me about the Flock, not some long-dead Skeeter.”
Kaylee tilted her head.
Sigh.
“There’s not much to tell. You watch many vampire shows?”
Ed’s ex-wife shook her head. “I don’t have a television.”
“Well that would be a ‘no,’ then. Okay, what about books? You ever read any vampire fiction? I could have sworn we had to read Dracula in school.”
“I was home schooled.”
Of course you were.
“Right, okay. So, you know about mosquitos, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, so imagine a twisted mosquito woman who—while stunningly beautiful when she chooses to be—uses her power to drain the blood from young men and women. Ostensibly does it to stay alive, but also to keep her beauty.”
Kaylee bit her lip in thought.
To be honest, she wasn’t an unattractive woman, and that little move certainly won her a few looks from the other cow-pokes in the restaurant.
Ah, Ed, now I see it.
The more time I spent around the Swamp Witch the more I understood why my old roommate had fallen for her. She was just his type, and that hadn’t changed since college. While he never mentioned it directly, I knew he’d had a thing for Morgan the very first time we met her.
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