He grinned. “Oh, you do. You really do. But it’s all part of your charm. So are you ready to eat or not?”
My stomach was a little empty. I could stand to eat. But he’d said I threw tantrums, and at that moment, I was fighting the urge to rip open a dam deep in the earth and drown him in it.
Chuckling as if he knew, he tsked before snapping his fingers. Suddenly, I sat on the edge of a large indigo-colored blanket brimming over with delicacies of the sea—caviar, steamed lobster tails and claws, steamed crab, flaky and resting on its half shell. Shrimp, peeled and a brilliant pink, glistened on large silver trays. Oysters and clams wrapped in kelp were steeped in a pile, and there was a giant bowl of sea beans. My mouth watered, and my fingers twitched on my lap as I fought the urge to reach greedily for a lobster tail.
Yes, these were my children, and yes, I ate them. I wasn’t going to win any mother of the year awards, but they were delicious, so one could have hardly blamed me for it.
Kneeling in front of me, he said nothing, which finally forced me to look up at him. His face was impassive, but there was kindness in his eyes.
The god of death knelt before me. It was a study in contradictions to be sure. His mythos was legendary. Brooding. Dark. A hermit with a nasty temper.
I’d witnessed that temper the first day, but even then, it had been tempered, not wild or capricious like my own. It had been powerful and even a little intimidating, but I’d not feared that he’d try to harm me.
Not that he could. I could break him like a twig, even if it didn’t look like I could. But he knew that and didn’t approach me with fear. Rather, he approached me as an equal, which was utterly ridiculous.
We were not peers.
A tense silence, full of things, unspoken grew between us.
“Would you do me the great honor of sharing my meal with me?” he asked, and again I frowned.
“I am nothing but cruel to you, and yet you insist on treating me thus,” I whispered, so terribly confused. I didn’t know what to make of him.
He shrugged. “With you, I could never be anything but.”
I sighed. “That’s just the thing, Hades. I am not that woman anymore. That is not me. I… I enjoy killing. I laugh when I do it.” I blinked and decided that if I was going to be honest, I might as well be completely honest. “Sometimes I even crave more.”
He scoffed. “You say this as if I don’t understand. I am the god of death, Calypso.” He sat and dragged one knee up to rest his braced arm upon it. “You’ve forgotten so much about who I really am.”
I shook my head. “That is impossible. I know who you are.”
“Oh, really,” he said as he reached for two lobster tails. They looked so very small in his large hands. Without looking at me, he handed me one. I supposed it would be rude not to take it, so I did.
I nibbled on the whole thing, carapace and all. The shell was one of the best parts. He smirked as if he’d known that already. I glowered but continued to savor my delicacy.
“I sincerely doubt that,” he said as he broke off a chunk of the sweet meat and placed it upon his tongue.
The very tongue I’d sucked on this morning. My stomach clenched, and I thrust my jaw out. I did not want to think of sucking his tongue. I did not want to think of sucking any part of him.
I moaned.
“Delicious, isn’t it?” he said, mistaking my moan for something else entirely.
“Whatever. I’ve had better,” I said grumpily, cheeks burning with a sudden rush of blood as wanton images scrolled through my mind, memories of just what else I’d sucked on once upon a time.
“Fine. If you know me so well, what was the very worst thing I ever did?”
His question broke me from my carnal thoughts, and I glanced up at him. “What?”
He shrugged. “Come on then, woman. You say you know me. Only someone who knew me intimately would know of what I speak. I never shared that knowledge with another, save one.”
Curious, my head buzzed as I tried to imagine just what he was talking about. I had memories of my other life. But those memories felt foreign to me, like they belonged to another, which technically they did.
That didn’t mean I remembered everything.
Some things were blank for me. I’d never minded that. I hated having memories of that other me, hated hearing her laughter echo like a ghostly wail through the hallways of my eternal mind.
“You don’t know, then,” he said finally, and he didn’t sound quite so cheerful or confident. Tossing his emptied shell aside with an angry jerk, he sighed deeply before reaching for the bowl of sea beans.
I blinked, suddenly hating to see him this way. Just yesterday, I would have rejoiced at his misery, but last night, he’d held me as I’d screamed. No one had ever done that for me. No one had ever cared enough to.
I remembered that in the other world, the other life, I’d had a hippocampus as my companion, but I had no one here in this time. Nothing. I’d been all alone, and he’d been there. Even with me pushing him away, with me hating him to his very core, he’d been there for me.
I still wasn’t sure that meant that he and I were destined to be anything other than temporary companions, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to kill him anymore either. And that in itself was an astonishing thought. I remembered having more than just him as a friend. I’d had Aphrodite.
But even her, I’d rejected. She’d come to me soon after my reawakening, begging me to let her into my kingdom. But I’d not allowed her to enter my domain, not even to step foot upon my waters. Because if she had, if I’d had to see her perfect face and her perfect smile, I would have punched her in her perfect nose.
It wasn’t that I necessarily hated Aphrodite, but I did hate what she stood for. Love. Foolish, ridiculous, stupid love.
Hades popped several salty beans into his mouth and munched distractedly, looking lost to the thoughts swimming through his handsome head. And for some silly reason, it bothered me.
I sighed. “I swear, if you ignore me again, I’ll turn this place into a bloody swamp.”
He gazed at me side-eye, and then a small grin flitted at the corner of his mouth. “So you do like my company.”
“I never said that.”
Popping a bean into his mouth, he winked. “You didn’t have to.”
I watched him, fascinated by the work of his strong jaw muscles as his chewed and finally swallowed.
“Calypso,” he said after a moment, and I gave myself a tiny little shake, realizing I’d never stopped watching him.
I despised that he continued to call me by a name that was not my own, but I was compelled to respond.
“Yes?”
He turned to look at me head on, setting his bowl of beans aside. He looked so different out here, open and honest and freed of the burdensome mantel that’d rested upon him in the Underworld.
Being with him was like being with a completely different man.
“Do you still wish to kill me?”
“Yes,” I said without thought, speaking what had become rote to me by now. But the “yes” settled like anathema on my tongue, and I worried my bottom lip between my teeth.
I could almost feel the voice in my head smiling with her sharp and wicked teeth, silently crowing over me of her victory. I was starting to become as soft as she had. I curled my nose in disgust.
His smile was wistful. “Why? Have I not been a gracious host this day?”
I shrugged because he had been, but to admit that would be to admit that I’d just lied to him too. I felt the small wave of anxiety began to crest and wind through me, and my hands twitched.
He reached over and grabbed my right one, giving it a gentle squeeze. I’d just admitted to wanting to kill him, and still he touched me. Still he held me as if he did not fear me.
I closed my eyes, weary to my very core by these overwhelming and conflicting emotions that raged through me.
“I don’t know why, Hades. I’m not sure I understa
nd anything anymore.”
“Open your eyes,” he said quietly.
I frowned, but never once entertained the thought of doing other than he’d asked. I was about to ask him what he wanted, but he was pointing behind me.
“Look,” he said.
And I did. There, trotting by us, was the most ridiculous sight I’d ever seen. A dilapidated house walked, and yes, it looked as preposterous as it sounded. But it was actually even worse because it did not walk on wooden legs, but rather on chicken legs. Large, comical looking chicken legs.
The house suddenly stopped moving and turned toward us. Its wide, boxy window eyes expanded, and the roof seemed to curve upward into a shape that reminded me vaguely of lips making an O of astonishment. Then, without a peep or a cockadoodledoo, it turned and ran like a blaze, getting lost behind a large hedge of redwood trees and vanishing from sight.
I blinked, staring at the space where it’d just been. I looked at the ground, then the sky, and then around at the trees before slowly turning back to him, my brows drawn in a tight vee of consternation.
“Was that a—”
“Chicken house. Yes, it was.” He grinned. “Do you not remember it?”
“Should I?”
He shrugged. “Seemed like it would be information you should have, considering the occupant of the house is one of the most powerful witches in all the lands.”
At those words, I suddenly recalled a memory, of a withered, decrypt hag, dressed all in green, walking around with a bag of bones swinging on her hip.
I shook my head. “Strange woman.”
He grinned. “You have no idea. You knew her once and gave her her own happily ever after.”
“That hag?” I pointed over my shoulder with a shocked look on my face. “Who in the bloody realms would even have her?”
His laughter was robust and shivered all around us, and I found myself softly joining in.
“Let’s just say he was a man who made even you tongue tied. Gave me quite a run for my money, he did.”
I chuckled. “I seriously doubt that.”
He abruptly stopped laughing, and in his eyes was a different look entirely, one that was hot and heated, demanding and coaxing.
I trembled because I wanted what I saw there. Badly. But I didn’t want this. “I don’t want this walk down memory lane.”
The fear and panic stealing through me made me suddenly angry and breathless with rage. I didn’t know why. All I knew was that this wasn’t right. None of this was right.
“What?”
I jumped to my feet, the joy of just seconds ago vanishing like fog in the sun. “You’re not taking me to my heart. This is a ploy. You accuse me of playing games, but you’re trying to ‘fix’ me.” I finger quoted. “I cannot be fixed, Death! I am as I am, and you will never again see Calypso, so if that is the game you play, then more the fool you!”
Without stopping to think, I angrily slashed my hand through the air, ripping a giant canyon in the earth beneath us, seeking the tiny dregs of water beneath. I only needed a drop, and when I found it, I released my spirit into it.
No, I would not kill him, and he could keep the bloody blade for all I cared.
But I wanted to go home.
I needed to go home.
He did not want me. He wanted her, the weak, sniveling, temperamental bitch. He’d played me for a fool, and I’d let him.
I’d let him.
Throat tight with something that felt an awful lot like rejection, I slipped into the drop and vanished from his sight.
10
Hades
Stunned into silence, I stared at the spot where she’d been. Calypso had always had a wild and unpredictable nature. She’d hated it, called it a weakness of hers. She had told me that no matter what she did in that agitated state, she’d always love and care for me, and I should try not to take it personally. It was just part of loving an elemental, and I’d always understood that.
But this had felt like more.
She’d been in a rage, yes, but I knew her well enough to know it had stemmed from pain. But why?
What in the bloody blazes had I done?
A heavy, shivery sigh sounded over my shoulder, and the air quickened with a curl of desire.
My nostrils flared. “Why have you come, Aphrodite?”
“Well, I won’t talk to your back, so you can either turn, or we’re just going to stand here all day like two heartbroken losers.”
Glowering, I gnashed down on my molars but did as she asked.
Dressed in a gown that was fashioned from Apollo’s own rays, she shined like fire. But it was not her I wanted. It never would be.
She shook her head, glancing at the spot where Calypso had vanished.
“And still you think of her as just Caly. Don’t you get it yet, you hothead?”
I scowled. “Excuse me?”
She rolled her eyes. “Must I do everything for you two? I swear, just the other day I found a thread of silver in my hair. My. Hair!” She tapped her chest with a long red fingernail, and her face curled into a grimace of disgust.
“What do you want me to say? I’m doing everything in my bloody power to get through to her.”
“Dammit all,” she snapped and walked up to me. I didn’t know what she planned, so I stood there like an idiot until she walloped me with a peal of her power, nearly knocking me flat on my behind.
“What was that for?” I growled, rubbing at my temple, which still tingled and made even my veins ache for some sort of sexual release. I hated when Aphrodite got into a mood. She had very little control over her powers when she did.
“Because you’re such a bloody idiot, that’s why. Stop doing what you’re doing.”
“Who gave you permission to watch what I’m doing anyway?”
She popped her hand on her hips, looking like an angry Chihuahua as she bristled back at me. “Because I knew you’d screw this up, that’s why. And I was right, wasn’t I?”
I opened my mouth, and she twitched her brows as if to say, “Deny it, Death.”
I snapped it shut, but my stomach roiled with anger.
“Who do you want, Hades?”
I seethed. “I would think you above all people would know bloody well who I wanted. I want Calypso.”
All the fire burned off her, and she wilted before my eyes. Her pretty face crumpled. “And that’s the problem.”
I shook my head. “What’s the problem? That I want my wife back? Your best friend back?” I pointed at her.
She sighed and walked nearer to me. “One second you remember who she is, and the next, you’re reminding her of who she’s not and who she might never be again. Don’t you remember who she was at all?”
“I know who she was. Who she is,” I snapped. “I’ve always seen her.”
Her smile was soft but sad. “Yes, you always did. But do you still? She’s an elemental, Hades. She’s been reborn. She didn’t lose all her memories. In fact, she remembers quite a lot of them, I’d wager.”
“And how would you know that?”
She touched her chest. “Even without it inside of her, I can still hear it sing to me. I know the deepest parts of every heart. It is my power. And I am telling you that you have to stop this before it’s too late.”
“Stop what?”
“Oh, c’mon, Hades! Don’t play stupid with me. We both know that traipsing through centaur lands and now Baba’s lands is a puny effort at forcing her to remember her life before. But so much of her already does. Don’t you see that yet?”
I spread my arms. “I’m trying. I love her. I still do, with everything inside me.”
“You love the bits of Calypso still left in her. But she calls herself Thalassa in this world. She thinks as such. She is driven by that darker aspect of herself. Instead of trying to coax the ghost from her, you should take this time to get to know her, the real her, the new her. That darkness in her shouldn’t terrify you, Death. Is it not just an extension of yo
urself as well? You as much as said so to her this morning, and yet you’ve already forgotten all of that. How could you?”
I glanced off to my right, staring at the wall of trees, searching for answers they could not give me.
“Will she never come back to me?” I asked, voice trembling as the feeling that I was losing her all over again wormed its way through me.
“I don’t know. Maybe. But that woman took years, even centuries, to create. This one is a new version of her, and wouldn’t it stand to reason that she, too, could take centuries to be remade? You loved her once, and all these sides of her were always in Calypso, some more dominant at times than others, but always a part of her. Deep down, you know that. So love who she is, not who you want her to be.”
I hissed and turned on her. “Why would you say that to me? You know how I feel about her.”
She shook her head. “Because we both know its true. Stop talking of the past. Stop dragging her from one stupid place to another that has no bearing on her life today. Discover who she is now. You’re more compatible than you might imagine.”
I closed my eyes. I knew Aphrodite spoke truth. I did like what I’d seen in Thalassa today. I’d loved her touch and her taste, but mostly, I’d simply enjoyed the presence of her company.
For so long, my world had been filled with nothing but gloom. But on this day, it’d been bright, overflowing with color and verve. But since she had gone, the leaves looked less green, the sky a lighter blue, and my world was turning gray again.
“What if she won’t come back to me?”
“Oh, Hades,” Aphrodite whispered, “you’re the only one she would return to. She’s as drawn to you as a moth is to flame, and that’s why she fled as she did. You scare her. You scare that darkness in her, the one that believes that love is a weakness and a torment. But all of that, all of that, stems from the pain of losing you. It is that severing in her that she grapples with. She may not even recognize that on a conscious level, but I taste the terror and panic of that loss as keenly as if those feelings were my own. It is not you that causes her to run. It’s her. It’s all her. So be there for her. Remind her as many times as you need to that love is not a weakness but a strength. Her strength. That… that is what you must make her remember and nothing more. You may yet get Calypso back in the future, but today, she is Thalassa. And if you actually claim to love her, then you must love all parts of her because that’s how love works. You don’t get to pick and choose, Hades. None of us do.”
The Death King Page 14