My Blue

by Jacobs, Emery

  I swallow hard as the words my father just said sink in. Thank God. I’m so happy I want to cry.

  “So, now that we have that out of the way, I have a question for the two of you. Actually, it’s more for you, Dad.” My eyes flit to his.

  My father leans in toward the desk slightly and holds up one finger. “Not so fast. I’m nowhere near finished.”

  “But you said you believe me.” The feeling of relief is suddenly gone and replaced with uncertainty. I’m sure he’s curious about Kami’s pills, but I don’t have time to get into it with him tonight. Getting Leo out of jail is my top priority.

  “Will you just listen to me for a minute and then we can talk about whatever it is you want? I really need your help.”

  He pounds his fist on the desk once, and once is all it takes because it scares the shit out of me. I jump so high I almost fall out of the chair.

  “I said I’m not finished, Ella. So, you’ll sit here and listen to everything I have to say and will only speak when you are asked a question.”

  I nod and then jump again when my mom rests her hand on my shoulder. Dammit! When did she get so close?

  “Your mother found this bottle of pills in the top drawer of your nightstand yesterday.”

  “Yeah, so?” I shrug. “I told you they’re not mine, and you said you believed me. I don’t understand why we have to drag this out any longer.” I really do understand, because if I were them, I’d want answers, too, but right now is not the time. I have something much more important than Kami’s pill problem to discuss.

  “You think that’s it, end of story, no more questions?” Dad’s forehead is wrinkled, his gaze intense.

  “Well, yeah. Why wouldn’t it be? I’ve done nothing wrong,” I say, shifting forward in the chair.

  My father stands, walks around to the front of his desk, grabs the bottle, and opens it. He shakes out the contents in front of me before throwing the bottle across the room.

  I immediately recoil back into the security of the large chair. Dad is an asshole, but he’s never violent. He says and does things I sometimes feel are harsh or mean, but never have I seen him slam his fist and throw shit.

  “Explain!” he huffs out. “If these aren’t yours then tell me who. They. Belong. To.” He narrows his eyes and frowns.

  My heart races frantically in my chest as I stare at the pills scattered in front of me. Some are small, round, and a burnt orange color, and others are small, round, and white. I’ve seen them before and know exactly what they are, but I’m not about to tell him that.

  “Kami,” I blurt loudly. “If you have any questions about the pills then ask her. She should be able to give you all the information you need.” I cannot believe I just threw my best friend under the bus, but I didn’t have a choice. She shouldn’t have left her shit at my house. I fucking told her I didn’t think it was a good idea when she shoved the damn bottle into the top drawer of my nightstand.

  Dad laughs and looks at Mom. “Did you hear what she said?” His gaze travels back to me, his laughter gone and his eyes dark and serious. “Don’t lie to me, Ella Blue. I can tolerate a lot of things, but lying is not one of them, and you of all people should know that.”

  “I’m not lying. Every single pill in that bottle belongs to Kami. She got nervous about leaving them at her house so she brought them here—even after I told her not to. If you don’t believe me then drug test me.” My bottom lip trembles as I fight like hell to keep from having a meltdown in front of them. I need a break from this room, my parents, and this conversation. “Can I be excused? I need to walk outside for a few minutes.” So I can breathe.

  “No, ma’am. You’ll sit right here until I’m finished,” Dad growls.

  This is ridiculous. I would suggest calling Kami, but she’d deny they were hers and my parents would believe her. This is so fucked up.

  Dad paces from one corner of the room to the other for what seems like hours, leaving me sitting here tense and on edge. When he finally stops next to my chair, I look up at his face. “We know those pills belong to Leo, so you can stop lying for him.”

  Reality suddenly slaps me in the face. “Wait a second—what did you just say?”

  “I’m not repeating myself, Ella Blue, but I will say that you are a terrible person for blaming Kami for something so serious. I’m sure she would be extremely upset with you if she knew you were using her to cover for Leo.”

  “Did you just call me a terrible person?” I push up from the chair and face my father. “I’m your daughter, the one you said you believed, and now you are turning on me—what does that make you?” I spit out the question. I’m so fucking angry that it’s getting harder to hold back the tears.

  “Are you taking anything, Ella?” I whip my head around and look at Mom. Her hands are resting on her hips, and her dark brown eyes are glaring holes through me.

  “No! I’m not taking anything. I already told you to drug test me.” Anger surges through my veins. “Oh, wait, I forgot—you do believe me.”

  This entire night is making more sense now. Leo’s probably being held on a drug charge my dad created.

  Mom squeezes my shoulder and gives me a slight shake. “Why do you have the pills? Is Leo forcing you to take drugs?”

  I’m on fire. My body is packed with so much rage that I actually think I might explode.

  “Leo didn’t give me any pills. Kami didn’t give me any pills. I’m not taking anything. Kami’s taking them. They. Are. Hers.” My voice is raspy from the sob I’m holding back.

  “If you’re not taking any of the pills then why did I find them in your nightstand?” Mom asks.

  “I guess because you were being nosey and digging through my stuff!” I yell.

  “Ella Blue, that’s enough. You will not raise your voice to your mother in my house.” Dad’s voice rings out through the room.

  “Well, I’ll excuse myself from your house and then I can yell all I want.” My voice is loud, but not quite a yell because I’m done fighting with them. Also, if Dad thinks I’m yelling, he’ll continue with his rant about all the shit he thinks I’ve done, and right now I just need to get out of this house for a few minutes.

  I step around the chair and head for the door.

  “You’re leaving Idlewood tonight. So, before you walk out of this room, give me your phone and the keys to your car.”

  My heart free-falls into my stomach and I stop with a jolt. “What did you say?”

  “In light of everything that has happened over the past twenty-four hours, your mother and I have decided Idlewood is not the place you need to be living.”

  I swallow hard before repeating the words he just said in my head. Your mother and I have decided Idlewood is not the place you need to be living.

  I gulp in a deep breath and then turn to face the two of them. “You’re kidding, right?” I ask, my voice shaky.

  “No, Ella, I’m not kidding. Your mother has packed your bags and they’re waiting for you in your room. Should you need anything else, it can be purchased once you’re there.”

  “There? Where’s there?” Is he really sending me away? Away from my friends, away from Leo? Oh, God. Leo is in jail, and deep down inside I know it’s my fault because I allowed Kami to stash her pills in my room. I should have flushed them and thrown the bottle away.

  “Florida.” Dad walks the short distance across the room until he’s standing in front of me.

  “I don’t understand. Why Florida?” I ask, wiping the tears from my eyes.

  “I found an all-girls school in Paradise Cove, Florida. It’s a small college preparatory academy that offers everything you need to finish out your last year and a half of high school.” His voice is cheerful. I think he’s loving the fact that he’s ruining my life.

  “I’m not going. My life is here. I know you had Leo arrested for something he didn’t do, and”—I wipe the tears from my eyes again— “and it’s my birthday. You’re sending me away on my birthday!”r />
  “Phone and keys, now,” he orders.

  “Did you have Leo arrested?” I ask, ignoring his demand.

  “Leo did this to himself. It’s a well-known fact that there’s a drug problem at the high school, and it’s part of my job to protect the community.”

  Is he serious? My parents have known Leo since he was a kid—they know his family. There is no way in hell they really believe he’s dealing drugs.

  “Do you hear yourself, Dad?” I don’t give him time to answer before continuing, “You’re accusing Leo of a crime he didn’t commit. He didn’t even know Kami left the pills here. She got them from some guy who hangs out around the coffee shop down the street from the high school. I don’t know him. I’ve never seen him and she didn’t tell me his name, but I promise you it’s not Leo.”

  At this point, I’m begging. I don’t know what else to do. I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to save myself, but if I can save Leo—

  “Your flight leaves in two hours. Give me your phone.”

  “Dad, please.” My eyes move across the room to where Mom is leaning against the desk. “Mom,” I beg.

  This can’t be real. Maybe I’ll wake up in the morning and it will have been a nightmare.

  “Her keys, William,” Mom says as she dangles them from her fingers.

  Dad walks over and takes them from her before returning to me. “Phone. Don’t make me ask again.”

  I pull my phone from the front pocket of my skirt and slap it down on his open hand.

  “I hope you two are happy. Not only have you ruined my life, you’ve also ruined Leo’s.” I glare at my father even though he doesn’t care what I want or think.

  “Ella Blue, stop being so theatrical. I am not ruining your life—I’m saving it. One day you’ll thank me for giving you the opportunity to succeed in life, something that will never happen if you stay here for that boy.”

  Leo. My father will do whatever he has to do in order to keep me and Leo apart. My heart is breaking. No, it’s shattering into a thousand pieces.

  “I can’t leave town with Leo in jail. It’s my fault he’s there. Please, can you do something?” I plead, anger and tears filling my throat.

  “Leo’s not my concern right now. You are. He has a family to help him. Let them take care of it.”

  The doorbell chimes once and then again.

  “Time to go, sweetheart,” Dad says, nudging me toward the door. “The car is here to take you to the airport. Your flight leaves in less than two hours.”

  “I really don’t want to leave. Please just talk to Leo and Kami. Talk to her parents. They’ll probably drug test her if you ask them to.” My voice cracks as a sob escapes my throat.

  “We’re finished here. It’s time to go,” Dad says as he walks into the hall. “Ella, now!” he yells without looking back.

  I grab my hair at the scalp and pull. God, I want to scream to the top of my lungs. I can’t do anything about what’s happening to me. An all-girls school in Florida—dammit! I’m sure I’ll be on lockdown and never see Leo again, and Kami—I never want to see her face for as long as I live. She fucking ruined my life.

  “Ella!” Mom’s voice echoes from somewhere in the house, most likely the foyer, where they are about to push me out the front door, lock me in a car with my father’s long-time driver, Ed, and send me to catch a plane that’ll take me to a place I’ll never come back from.

  I swear there’s lead in my stomach as I make my way down the hall toward the front of the house.

  “I’ll ride with you to the airport and make sure you get on the plane safely,” Mom says. She hands off the suitcases I didn’t pack to Ed so he can load them in the car.

  “If I do this, will you make sure Leo is okay?” I ask my dad, praying he’ll come to his senses and say yes.

  “You leaving is not up for negotiation, Ella.” His gruff tone carries loud and clear across the open area of the foyer.

  “Please, Mom. You have to check on him for me,” I beg.

  She nods but doesn’t speak. My dad, on the other hand, can’t seem to keep his mouth shut.

  “Go get in the car, Ella. I told you no more discussing this topic, and I meant it.” His eyes jerk toward me before landing on Mom. He doesn’t have to say anything to her because she knows his word is law in this house.

  I force myself to walk out the door and toward the car, not because I want to but because I have no other choice. Fighting them is impossible.

  I climb into the back seat and secure my seat belt. Mom quickly slides in beside me. I close my eyes and rest my head on the cool leather seat behind me.

  Please just let this night be over.

  When Dad taps on the window, Mom lowers it until he’s able to lean inside the car.

  “I’ll make sure Leo stays out of jail and all charges are dropped on one condition.”

  My eyes spring open and I sit up straight. “What? I’ll do anything.” And I mean it. I’ll take the punishment for something I didn’t do if I can save Leo.

  He grips the edge of the window and leans farther into the car. “No contact with him…ever. Forget the boy even exists.”

  My life will never be the same again, especially without Leo, but if I can save him then I’ll do it. I’ll never forget him, but I’ll force myself to live without him.

  “Okay. I’ll do it. I mean, I’ll never contact him again. I promise, just please get him out of jail.” Even though I’m still hurt and have so much sadness inside me, I feel a little glimpse of happiness knowing Leo will be okay.

  “If I find out you called, texted, emailed, or had any social media contact with him from this point forward, I’ll make sure he goes to jail and stays there for a very long time.” He backs out of the window and steps away from the car.

  I know he’s the reason Leo’s in jail tonight and I believe he could possibly keep him there for a while, but his threats are only good for now. I’m not so naïve to believe he’ll still have this power over my life in a few years, but for the time being, I’m going to be true to my word and cut all ties with the boy I love. I’m not willing to risk his freedom for my selfishness. I squeeze my eyes closed as a single tear rolls down my cheek. I’m so sorry, Leo. I hope one day you can forgive me.

  3

  Leo

  “I’m in jail.” I grind out the words through a clenched jaw as I white-knuckle the phone.

  “Leo?” My brother’s voice is low and gravelly. I woke him up. Of course you did, dumbass—it’s the middle of the night.

  “Yeah, it’s me. I need you to come pick me up.” I pull in a deep breath and hold it, waiting for his response.

  “Do you have any idea what time it is?” The sound of rustling sheets in the background lets me know he’s moving around—hopefully getting out of bed so he can come save me from this fucking awful night.

  “Yep, it’s 2:00 a.m. Look, big brother, if I didn’t need your help, I wouldn’t have called.”

  “Your time’s up,” the guy standing next to me grunts out.

  My time is up when I’m done, asshole. I cut my eyes to the right, taking a quick look at the tatted-up fucker standing next to me.

  “What in the hell did you do to get arrested?” The sound of my brother’s voice brings my attention back to our conversation.

  “I don’t really know. I just need you to show up so maybe they’ll let me go home.”

  “You got thirty more seconds, Matson!” an officer with a gruff voice hollers from across the room.

  “You don’t know why you were arrested?”

  “No, I don’t. My phone time is up. I’ve gotta go. Just promise me you’re on the way and that you won’t tell Mom.”

  “Have you lost your mind? It’s 2:00 in the morning—do you think I’m calling Mom?”

  “I didn’t mean now. I meant…never tell her about this.” My stomach’s in knots. I’ve got to get out of here and go check on Blue. If I know her, she’s sitting up worrying herself sick waiting on m
e to call. I hope Wade got her home safely.

  I force myself to look around this dingy room. How in the hell did I end up here? I shake my head and huff out a frustrated breath.

  “I’ll be there in twenty minutes,” Beau’s groggy voice assures me.

  “Matson, you’re done.”

  I glance over my shoulder at the huge guy with a square head standing behind me. His eyebrows are drawn and his lips are curled, showing off what few teeth he has left.

  “Just hurry,” I tell my brother before some cop with a fucked-up mustache takes the phone from me.

  An hour later, I’m still sitting in a cell…alone. The guy who was in here with me got bailed out about twenty minutes ago. I don’t know what could possibly be taking my brother so long to get here. He only lives fifteen minutes down the road.

  Heavy boots slapping against the concrete floor grabs my attention. I push myself up from the shitty cot I’ve been sitting on and move toward the bars separating me from the rest of the world.

  A familiar male voice calls out, “Matson?”

  “Steve, is that you?” My hands shake as I wrap my fingers around the metal bars.

  “Yeah. I would have been here sooner but I had no idea you were locked up.”

  I guess Wade decided against telling his brother I was here.

  “Thank fuck you’re here. Am I going home?”

  “Not tonight. Beau showed up to bail you out but was told you couldn’t be released until midmorning. They wouldn’t let him see you either and that’s when he called me.”

  “Oh, shit, man. Sorry. I mean, I know it’s the middle of the night.” Dammit, Beau, what were you thinking?

  “Not a problem. I figured I could run down here and let him see you for a few minutes because you never know when I might need to call in a favor from one of you.” He laughs as he punches a code into the keypad on the wall. The door to my cell opens and I step out. It feels great to be out of that damn cage.

  “Do you know why they’re keeping me for so long?”

  “Nope, I haven’t had a chance to look at the report and I probably won’t tonight. Somebody should tell you something later—before you’re released,” Steve says as I follow him down the hall.