by Penny Knight
“Elita, I…” he says.
I shake my head. I don’t need his apologies or sympathies. “Why?” I hope he catches the subtle plea in my voice.
Thankfully, he does.
“We tried the amulet, but it didn’t work. The crystal and the spell were broken. We could bring you back from the,” he pauses, “darkness,” he says cautiously, renaming my previously named hell.
“But whatever is causing you to hear people’s thoughts must be so raw. You were drawing on the magic from the amulet more than safe levels for any human or untrained ancestral witches. The way the spell seemed to be developed, it would regenerate the crystal the more you drew from it. The last two days you were recovering from withdrawals from magic. And also, physically recovering from your muscles being ninety percent contracted for nearly twenty-four hours.”
I gulp.
“Oh,” I say, eventually. What else is there to say?
“Elita, you don’t need it.” He leans forward. “You are very capable of mastering it without magic. You’ve proven the night you saved that woman.”
“But it wasn’t like what I experienced after the explosion. My mind completely opened.”
“Yes, it must have been a combination of factors. Being unprepared, hitting your head, and the crystal breaking,” he says.
“But even without the amulet, if I bumped my head, would I not go to the dark place?” I ask.
“I don’t know.” He sits back. “I didn’t know you were unable to be around anyone but Immortals. Once you were pulled out of the darkness, Topher couldn’t come back in without you physically being in pain. That is when your withdrawals started.”
“Ok, so if the crystal was broken, how did I get this back?”
His face hardens.
My eyes go wide. Franziska?
“Topher visited the woman who made it for you. I am sure he has more to tell you from that visit.” His tone was definitely not happy.
Shit.
I bet Franziska would be even less happy. This is gonna suck.
“You are resisting accepting the truth about this world. You cannot rely on magic. I don’t know why you are so inclined to use it, but it will ultimately kill you, and in the meantime, you have given the witches everything they need to totally be in control of you as a human.”
How the hell did I do that? Wait, he’s right, the question is why I didn’t see that.
If I was in withdrawals, then this amulet is my drug, and Franziska my dealer. I love her and I know she only wants to help.
“She would never use it against me,” I say to him. “Never.”
“Never is a long time,” he says.
“I already have an extremely short list of people that mean something to me, Leo. Please don’t take another one off the list. You don’t know her like I do.”
“Fine,” he concedes. “But you have to promise me you will make it a priority to learn how to use your powers without it.”
“Can we not use the word powers?” I scrunch up my nose.
“From the woman who coined the term sun power? You are going to turn your nose up at powers?” He raises an eyebrow.
“Fine, if I somehow make it out of this shit storm alive… wait. How many days do we have left? If I was out three, that means two before I might end up kaput. I promise if I am still breathing, I will make it a priority to learn how to master my powers, Sensei. But I have one condition.” I sit back and wait for his response.
“I would be disappointed if you didn’t.”
I smile.
His eyes glisten.
“I want to find my mother before then. I want to know where I came from. No, I need to know where I came from.”
And why she left me for the men that followed. I need to know that before I die, and if there is a possibility that’s in a couple of days, I want to know before then.
He doesn’t hesitate.
“Anything you need for that to happen I will facilitate. And just so we are clear, where you go, I go. From now until the sun rises after the eclipse, and you’re safe.”
“No complaints with me. I’m over life and death experiences for a while.”
“It’s settled, we will organise a secure location for the transit. But we will make one stop along the way. We just need to find her address.”
My stomach drops.
After all these years avoiding temptation to investigate her, I’m about to finally jump down the rabbit hole and look for the worst person I have ever known.
My mother.
The next two days went by quick. I didn’t leave the penthouse. Lucky I was in isolation in a five-star hotel. The balcony gave me the fresh air I needed.
I hardly saw Leo. I mean, he did check in every few hours ensuring I was still safe and haven’t, as he liked to say, wandered into trouble.
But I didn’t have time even if I wanted to deviate away from the nice safe plan. I was serious about no more life and death experiences. The reason I didn’t have time, is that there was a lot of damage control to do with Topher.
It was a quick cycle through emotions, but it did take up one whole day. First, he was in tears of relief that I was not a walking zombie junkie. But then anger took its place. And, wow, was he pissed that I made him leave me there.
It was a whole mess of a shit storm for a bit but, as always, we found our way back. And he spent yesterday on the ‘let’s get Elita back to eating delicious food and smiling again’ train.
It worked.
Mostly.
I won’t lie, dread has been building to this moment. This is the day I’m going to confront my mother.
Leo, Topher, Broderick and the usual crew of men are waiting in the lobby. I needed some extra time to make sure I could control the shaking in my hands. A few extra minutes in the cold shower.
Breathing exercises. Calming meditation that Franziska had always tried to teach me. I’m pulling from every source I can, crazy or not. Whether or not I believed in it. I’m desperate at this point.
The elevator opens.
I’m ready to go.
I see the men and I don’t break stride. With my travel bag hanging off my shoulder, I almost reach them when I hear something that completely floors me.
“Elita.” A man’s voice calls out. I freeze. Not any voice. Brian’s.
“Elita!” He calls again louder, and I turn. His large frame is already in front of me. “What the fuck?” He looks me up and down. “Are you ok?” His brows furrow and I see the concern all over his face.
“What the hell are you doing here?” There’s no denying it, I’m shocked. Flabbergasted to say the least.
He looks hurt at my words.
Instantly, I feel bad. Then I remember I haven’t heard from him in five years and I recover quickly. Still, I’m completely confused.
I look at Topher.
His face gives it away. Something more is going on. His mouth is wide open, eyes wide, and he’s frozen in place. When he sees me looking at him, he sheepishly ducks.
“Why would you think I wouldn’t find you? What’s going on, are you ok? Three days ago, you were in intensive care.”
He looks from me to Topher, then notices Leo and Broderick also waiting. His eyes then land on my bag as he totals things up.
“Um...” I’m not sure how to answer his questions. How did he even know?
“Where are you going?” he nods to the bag.
“Jesus Brian, I don’t really understand why you think it’s any of your business. And why you’re here asking me these questions, anyway.” Brian, Brian Malloy. My first love, my only love. The one that dumped me out of the blue and for no reason is here. In a million years, I wouldn’t have thought this day could get any more fucked up.
He straightens. “I’m a detective, it’s my job to ask questions.”
I roll my eyes. I’ve heard that before.
He looks taken aback.
That’s because I’ve never spoken to him like this before. The last time I s
aw him, I still loved him. I have grown a lot since then. And that love has gone.
“I see you’re still angry,” he says.
“I’m not angry, Brian.”
“It sounds like you are.”
I shrug. “That’s what you’re hearing from it. I haven’t spoken to you in years. But you’re here thinking you have some right to ask me anything about my life. If you’re here as an ex-boyfriend, then you have no right. If you’re here as a cop, then the answer is no comment. Am I under arrest, officer, for anything? I know the rules, Brian. You taught me.”
“Elita.” He steps closer and I see the Brian from back then. The first and only man I opened my heart up to.
“You dumped me over a text message.” I take a step back, my voice soft and sad. I remember that pain.
“I am sorry. I was an idiot. I was wrong.”
I wasn’t expecting that.
“It’s something I have learned to live with. I fucked up,” he says.
I shake my head.
“I can’t do this right now. I have things to do, I don’t have time.”
Juggling the strap on my shoulder, I try to show I want out of this awkward and, frankly, dangerous conversation. I am nowhere near mentally prepared. I was prepared to confront my fucking mother, not the man who promised me he would be there for me no matter what.
Another utter disappointment.
I need out before I explode.
“Your apartment has been ransacked. Do you know that?”
I debate answering truthfully, not sure what he would rather hear at this point. I don’t need to. He answers for me.
“You already know, and you haven’t reported it. What’s happening?” He throws his hands up, his eyes darting between me and Leo. I don’t know why he would assume there is a connection there.
I shrug. “I haven’t had a chance.”
“What? Are you serious?” He shakes his head. “Then your work is blown up. And I am at your fucking bedside while the doctors aren’t sure if you were going to live or die. Then that Neanderthal,” he nods towards Leo.
I look to them.
Broderick is outright smiling. Topher has his hand hiding his mouth and smile. I narrow my eyes at him. He hides behind Broderick.
Broderick smiles wider.
Last, I look at Leo, and yep, I can see that he was raised to kill people with that look in his eyes.
“He unhooks you from your IV, throws you over his shoulder and fucks off with you.”
I turn back to Brian.
My mouth drops open.
Brian looks even more confused at my reaction.
I turn this time and my eyes shoot imaginary piercing lasers at Topher. He is in so much trouble for leaving a big chunk of information out of his tale of events.
He mouths he is sorry.
I breathe fire, or I feel like I do. He must see it, too, or more likely just knows me so well he hides back behind Broderick.
I swing my head back around to Brian.
“That is enough,” I say matter-of-factly.
I need to end this before it gets worse.
I’m about to explode, and I’m teetering on the edge. My control is slipping, and I am more unhinged now than ever in my life. I’m under a bit more stress than normal and will be giving myself a pass. Once I allow myself to feel the anger, I feel myself relax a little.
“Look, what I did was fucked up to you. But I have never stopped loving you.”
And goodbye to whatever fake control I was holding onto.
“Stop!” This time it’s my voice that is raised. “Do not say that again.” I narrow my eyes.
His shoulders slump. “Elita, I don’t trust him, not after what I saw. I’m worried. What have you gotten yourself into?” he pleads.
I’ve had enough.
“Oh, for goodness’ sake. Shut up!” I snap.
I not only see him freeze, but the movement from my peripheral has stopped, too. I am way over putting this guy’s needs over my own. I did it in the relationship and he took it for granted, so to hell with doing it now.
“You think I would trust you with anything to do with me again? You are out of your mind. I don’t hate you Brian, but I certainly have no respect for you and zero trust in you. I did all I could to support you and for whatever god damn reason you decided I was worth as little as a message to say you’re done with me. With some piss weak excuse that you were doing me a favour because you couldn’t be the person, I wanted you to be.”
I shake my head.
“You knew I was away at a retreat that could have been a cult. You knew how dangerous I thought it was.”
“It was a retreat for rich people, Elita. It wasn’t a cult.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. After I got your message, that piece of shit guru tried to rape me. Apparently, you dumped me because I’m too prideful, and I don’t deserve to be in control of my body.”
He gasps in horror.
“It didn’t happen. And at the end of the day it’s what broke Topher out of his control, and I got him home safely. But you know who wasn’t there to help? You. So, you see Brian, don’t tell me you give one shit about me. When all I asked was for you to answer the goddamn phone, so you knew I was ok. And here you say you love me. If that’s the love you’re offering, that not acceptable for me. Keep it. Or share it with someone that believes in that crap.” I don’t stop. Why would I? I’m on a roll and it feels good. Overdue and just.
“As for your questions, officer? I will refer you to my lawyer. 1300 No Fucking Comment.”
With that, I fling my bag on my shoulder. Storming away from a stunned ex-boyfriend, directly to Leo, who is amongst the rest waiting in silence.
“Are we going?” I ask impatiently in the worst mood ever.
He nods and takes the bag from off my shoulder. The relief is welcome. I head straight out the hotel and into an open door of a waiting car.
My heart skips a beat, when it registers the open door was for front seat, and not the back like normal. But the driver’s door opens and Leo slides in. Thankfully, it was the right car and I avoid the most embarrassing exit of all time.
As if sensing my, do not talk to me right now mood, he starts the car without a word. My phone rings. Looking down, Topher’s name pops up.
I sigh.
“You know you’ll be over it as soon as you talk to him. Why make him suffer when time is short?” Leo’s surprising words hit home.
Time is short. For me, it could be up by tomorrow. I answer.
“I’m not angry, a bit pissed. But I still love you.” I’m too tired to argue anymore.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Brian.” Topher still apologises. “We thought it was best. You know, too much stress.”
“That’s not true.” Leo says.
I place my hand over the microphone. “Hey, you can’t listen in on our conversation.”
“It wasn’t about the stress. It was the fact he is as insignificant as an ant.” Leo says.
Well ok, I guess we know where he stands on the whole Brian issue. Interesting.
“Tsk, no. It’s because I didn’t want your head to be anymore messed up for today. Leo just doesn’t like the fact you and Brian did the hanky panky and that’s why he’s all cranky. Wow, hey, that rhymed.” I hear Broderick’s now familiar chuckle in the background.
“Just hang up on him. I was wrong, there’s plenty of time,” Leo says.
This time I smile. It feels good.
“I’m gonna go. I need to reset.” I hang up. He knows it means fix my mental space, also known as immersing myself in music or an audiobook. Anything that blocks out the world around me for a bit. With the drive to the small airport it will take some time and hopefully when I reach Mount Martha, I will be prepared to meet my mother.
“How long should we give them?” Broderick asks.
“Not too much longer, we’re running out of time.” It’s not that I don’t realise how hard it is for humans
travelling so fast. We flew to our secret military base, to be secure. Then, personally flew them here to make up the time. I couldn’t take any chances of being followed. We don’t have much time left, especially with the detour to her mothers. Soon the Transit will start, and sunset is about to fall. The Uprising will be out, in droves, looking for her.
“I don’t like this. Maybe you should just take her to the safe house now.” Broderick surveys the area again.
Ideally, I would like her to be locked up away, safe. Knowing for sure no one can hurt her. Again. She has been in enough traumatic experiences this week that her body needs a rest, both physically and mentally. Given that now she’s probably losing her lunch in the bathroom, I would say the anti-nauseating tablets didn’t quite work. My men have adapted over time at the speeds. Despite that, I still see the colour washed away in their face. They had no time to rest themselves, they needed to keep her safe. While I sit here in this damn car unable to be there myself.
Tonight, is it. The Transit of Venus at last. And my decision has not been made.
“What are you gonna do?” Broderick asks.
I sigh. “I don’t know. There’s no time for her to understand. Although she has the power herself to pull the information from her mother. That damn amulet stopping her.”
“This seemed a lot easier in theory when she wasn’t real.” Broderick shakes his head. “This is fucked up.”
“It’s always been fucked up.” How many years have I waited, being told the only chance of me having a child, producing an heir, is reliant on one person? It has taken thousands of years to come to fruition, and now I can’t think of anything worse than what needs to be done. I will give her the closure she needs from her mother. Help her find out where she came from. I want to know too.
Why has she been given this power to hear humans’ thoughts and how can I protect her from this world she doesn’t want to be a part of? Before she met me, she had a safe life. Before she walked into my hotel, she was happy.
The door opens, and she walks out of the restroom.
I watch from the inside of the car, unable to go out to be there to comfort her. If she’d let me, that is. But the sun has not set, so Broderick and I wait for the door to open and Elita to walk out. Still a vision even if she is unwell. Her face glistens with water that has been splashed on. Her tired, sunken cheeks don’t overpower her beauty.