by Claire Adams
Every time she came around, I tried to be nice. She’d touch my arm, and I’d shift away. She’d step a bit too close, and I’d find an excuse to go get Jenna. She was our neighbor, and I was trying to be friendly, but her advances were incredibly pushy. I’d almost had enough. I looked over her body one last time before I went back to working on my truck, and I couldn’t decide if her just wanting to watch was flattering or creepy.
In any other circumstance with any other woman, I’d be all over it. Playful banter, flirtatious remarks, maybe a bit of making out against my car—the works. But, Megan? Not so much.
“Whatcha up to this weekend, Jason?” she asked.
“I’m actually lookin’ forward to it. I’m taking Jenna to the zoo a few towns over, and then, we’re gonna have a movie day. She’s very excited. You?”
I looked over at her and saw the disappointment wash over her face. Her smile that crinkled her freckles had slowly dissipated, and her arms fell to her sides. She was no longer trying to flash me a massive smile or shove her tits out for the world to see, nor was she attempting to hide that she was annoyed. I didn’t give a shit if I’d just lied to her about my plans. If some bitch was gonna be pissed ‘cause I was spending time with my daughter instead of her, she could fuck off.
“Ah, not much. Just figured I’d stop by to say hi,” she said.
“Well, it was nice to see you.”
“You, too.”
She slowly began to walk off, and I watched her the entire way while I cleaned off my wrench. I knew I’d have to keep my eye on her, but now I had a perk to working on my car outside while Jenna was sleeping.
It meant I could keep her away from Megan.
I went back to working on my car and finally got to what I’d been trying to reach. I slowly sat parts off to the side while I dug around for a screw I’d dropped, and I raised up and banged my head when a car backfired nearby. I rubbed the sore spot with my greasy hands while I looked up to see where the hell all that noise was comin’ from. Then, I saw Lucy’s car barrelin’ down the road in a haze of smoke.
Her car was lurching and wheezing, struggling just to get down the road. The air, tainted with its crisp apple smell, was now permeated with engine smoke and the remnant smell of old car fuel. Her car needed a serious amount of work, and it needed work quickly. If I could catch her before she shut her car off, she could get it to the shop.
I tried to flag her down while she was pulling into the driveway, but the smoke was so thick, she couldn’t see me. Then, her car shut off. Well, it wouldn’t be going anywhere now without a tow truck. She stumbled out, red-faced, angry, and cursing under her breath. She was pissed, that much I could tell, but when she kicked the tire of her car, I couldn’t help but smirk. She was honestly cute when she was upset, with her blond hair tousled and her neck reddened with stress. I had a few ways I could think of to help her get rid of that stress and bring that flush down her body a bit, but I shook the thought away when she turned and spotted me.
“You really should get that fixed soon,” I said.
I watched her walk toward me after throwing her keys in the grass. She pulled her coat tight around her body once the wind began to pick up again, and all it did was blow that beautiful blond hair around her cute little angered face. I wondered if she knew how adorable she looked right now, but she’d probably punch me or something for finding her anger amusing.
“I don’t have the money right now. Especially not for serious repairs like that,” she said. “What the hell am I gonna do?”
“Wow, such a dirty little mouth. Do you kiss yourself in the mirror every day with that mouth?”
“Ha, ha, ha. But seriously, I have no idea what I’m gonna do.”
“Well, I fixed your hoses a little while back. I could take a look if you wanted.”
“I can’t put you out like that,” she said. “I haven’t even paid you for the hoses yet.”
“And you don’t owe me anythin’. We’re neighbors. I’m happy to help out,” I said.
“If this is a serious issue, then it’s gonna cost you money to fix if I don’t pay you. I’m not doing that to you,” she said.
“If it’s a serious parts issue, I have connections and could get you those parts cheaper,” I said.
“God, if I’m lucky, maybe it won’t be something that important.”
“The plume of smoke rising from the hood of your car could’ve signaled rain. It’s a serious issue, and now it’s a hazard for you to drive. Just let me take a look at it,” I said. She was being stubborn, and sometimes I admired that spunk in a woman. But, right now, her stubbornness was putting her in a great amount of trouble, especially if she was actually thinking about continuing to drive it, and something inside me was suddenly not okay with that.
“And me looking at it here will save you towing costs. Seriously, this is what I do. Let me look at it,” I urged.
“But I still haven’t paid you for those hoses,” she said breathlessly. “And I just... it doesn’t feel right, Jason. Let me pay you something. Anything.”
God, she’d opened the perfect avenue. My cock throbbed, and my eyes raked up and down her trembling form. She was obviously cold and still very upset, and all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around her and pull her close. I bet her tight little body would feel warm against my chest, and her legs would slide smoothly between mine if we were laying down in a bed.
I had my opening, and I was taking it.
“Alright. Fine. If you feel that determined to pay, then I’m not taking your money. Why don’t you let me take you out?” I asked.
“What?” she asked.
“That’s my price: one date with me in payment for the hoses and the work it’ll take to fix your car up now.”
“But, isn’t that just more money for you to be spending?” she asked. “Taking me out and then fixing up my car?”
“You told me to name my price, and I did,” I said.
I watched a battle rage behind her eyes while she looked from me to her car. I knew I hadn’t misread all those times I’d caught her staring at me from her porch, the look in her eye I was certain about, but I started to wonder if maybe I’d gone about this all wrong. Women like Megan I didn’t give a shit about. I’d ask them out, and they almost always said yes no matter how I did it. Women like Lucy, however—with their hesitancy and their inner tumultuous battles—had morals she was battling. Emotions and feelings and shit. She was weighing pros and cons and trying to rationalize going out with her neighbor while still trying to keep the peace.
And no doubt, she was trying to convince herself it was a good idea after losing her husband.
It still shook me up in the wrong way that Megan has just blurted out that tidbit of information about her.
“Alright, I suppose it couldn’t hurt. One date in exchange for the car work,” she said.
“Deal,” I said, smiling. “I’ve got tomorrow morning off, so I’ll take a look at your car then. If you wanna just leave the keys out for me somewhere, that’s fine. Or, I can come bang down your door whenever I get the chance.”
“Just don’t bang too hard. I don’t have the money to fix my door, either,” she said with a grin.
“I’ll be as gentle as you want me to be.”
She fluttered her gaze up to mine, and I saw that same look I’d seen so many times before. That lustful shock that always rolled over her eyes whenever I made a quip at her that sparked thoughts she couldn’t keep at bay. I enjoyed that look on her, taking her by surprise in these vulnerable moments. I wanted to think she enjoyed my presence as much as I enjoyed hers, because even just talking with her made me feel alive again.
Like Jenna’s mother had when she’d been still here.
“Well, I gotta shut up shop and go check on Jenna. It’s almost time for her nap to be over.”
“Oh, a nap sounds fabulous,” she said. “Tell her I said hello. Oh! And tell her I hung her picture up just like I said I would. She can come over
anytime and check it out.”
“I’ll let her know, but if she comes over, make sure you’ve got popsicles and macaroni and cheese.”
“I can definitely have those things on hand for her,” she said. Her smile lit up her eyes, and I noticed she had a slight dimple in her left cheek. My thumb burned to caress it, to run it over the little divot and watch her skin flush underneath my touch. Lucy was a vision to look at, and every time I was around her, I saw and learned something new. Today, I learned she had a dimple and was cute when she was upset, but on the date, I hoped to find out much, much more.
Like what her fingernails felt like raking down my back.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said.
“See you tomorrow. And just let me know whenever you want to cash in on that date. I’m all yours,” she said.
And every single muscle in my body twitched as those words flew from her mouth.
Chapter Eleven
Lucy
I’d spent the last two hours getting ready for my date with Jason. I’d tried on just about every dress I owned trying to figure out what would be appropriate for a date with a man like him but, eventually, settled on some nice jeans and a sweater. The air was getting colder every single day, providing no relief from the Washington chill that was blanketing the town, but the jeans I picked for the date clung to my ass just in case. I knew Jason would wear something that would catch my eye and make me rake over his figure, so the least I could do was attempt to do the same. The hunter green sweater I chose made my eyes pop, which meant I didn’t need any sort of makeup, and the dangling earrings I chose sparkled against the dark outfit, which had the possibility to draw his eye to my face instead of him staring at my tits all night.
Plus, I was comfortable, which meant more to me than what I looked like anyway. I didn’t really know what was going to come from the date, but I figured I had it covered from both sides. If he really did find me attractive and wanted to get to know me, then my clothes showed off my figure. But if this was just a friendly encounter and not the type of date I was thinking about, then I looked comfortable enough to not seem like a desperate, idiotic single woman.
I was nervous, though, because he gave no inclination as to what we were doing on the date. I knew traditional dates were dinners and possibly a movie, but I hadn’t done this in so long, I wasn’t sure if the definition of a traditional date had changed. If Jason was expecting to get laid, he could forget it. I wasn’t anywhere near ready for that kind of stuff, and part of me wondered if I was ready for this now. I was about to go on my first actual date with a man since David had died, and my hands were shaking as I surveyed myself in the mirror one last time.
“Keep a lid on it, Lucy. You’ve got this.” I kept talking to myself, trying to calm my own nerves. I didn’t tell anyone about this date, including my sister, because they’d all descend on my house and try to dictate my every action and move. I wanted peace and quiet before I stepped into this world again, but now I was regretting my decision. If there was one thing my sister was good at, it was pep talks, and right now, I really could’ve used one from her.
“Deep breaths,” I whispered.
Megan was still coming around, and that made me nervous. I was keeping an eye out on his house because I knew the reputation and what Megan was capable of. Whenever she’d pass by and see he wasn’t home, she didn’t seem to be up to anything, but when she did see he was home, she’d almost always go knock on his door. Sometimes, he would answer and, sometimes, he wouldn’t, but the times she caught him in his yard, I’d watch them converse again.
One time, she brought him over another pie that he looked reluctant to take it, but Jenna was ecstatic when she saw it. Another time, she just stood there while he was working on his car, and I found that a little creepy. I debated on whether to bring the subject up with him while we were out tonight, but while I didn’t know much about dating, I did know Megan wasn’t an appropriate topic of conversation.
Plus, with this town talking the way it had been, he probably already knew about her past anyway. What kind of man would still let a woman come around when he knew about her past? Especially if he had a kid to take care of? Was that something I needed to be nervous about?
“Keep a lid on it, Luce. Come on,” I said.
I really hoped he didn’t think he was getting laid tonight because I was not about to be another notch on his bedpost. Megan might have been all right with that kind of legacy in her life, but I was not. I was worth much more than just a little divot on someone’s sexual record, and he could forget it if he thought he was peeling these jeans off my body tonight.
All I knew was I had to put up with him for one evening. He fixed my car and bought all the parts necessary to get it running again, and the moment he dropped me back off tonight, the deal would be complete, and my car would be drivable again. That’s all this was: a business transaction between two individuals who needed something from the other.
Right?
I turned and looked at myself in the mirror one last time before I smoothed my hand over my clothes. This was the first date I was going on in a very long time, and thoughts of David began to creep to the forefront of my mind. David never once took me on a traditional date. In fact, our first date was a before-dawn fishing trip he surprised me with. He had called me and called me until I woke up, and then told me I had five minutes to bundle up and that he was already outside. I’d stumbled around trying to find decent clothes to wear on the chilly autumn morning, and after he whisked me away to fish for the day, we went back to his place and had our very own fish fry.
I found out two very important things about David that day. He loved the outdoors, and the man could cook.
We sat underneath the stars in his backyard that night and ate fried fish slathered in coleslaw. I’d taken charge of the homemade French fries and gathered ingredients for fresh blackberry tea, and we sat close together for warmth under the stars in the night sky.
Tears rose to my eyes while I looked at myself in the mirror, and suddenly, I felt safe. No man on this planet could ever top the first date I’d had with David, and that’s what would protect me tonight. Jason would take me out on some boring date to some restaurant he’d probably already taken Megan to, and I’d be comparing him to David all evening. He’d talk about himself and flex his muscles, relying solely on his looks to get him by, and I would simply remind myself of all the things David was that he wasn’t.
David’s memory and the times we shared together would keep me safe during this business transaction. A sudden relief washed over my body.
Until tears started racing down my cheeks.
“Shit.”
I went to the bathroom and splashed some water on my face. Thinking about the date tonight didn’t just bring back memories of David, but it brought back all the memories of people my sister had tried to set me up with. Over the past three years, she’d tried to set me up with men she thought I’d find interesting. She’d hand my number over without my permission, and they’d call me up, or she’d set them up on a date and tell me to show up. Then, it was my responsibility to show up at the restaurant or pick up the phone and tell them I was sorry on behalf of my sister.
She had been relentless for quite some time before I finally put my foot down and told her to cut the shit. I told her she was being pushy and thrusting some personal agenda onto me that I didn’t appreciate, and the fight resulted in her not talking to me for almost a month. Yes, she thought I should be over David already, but she didn’t understand. He’d been gone for three years, but I can still remember that phone call as if it were yesterday.
“Mrs. Jones?” the doctor asked.
“This is she. Is this the hospital? Could you let David know I’m on my way? I just had to come back and get some new clothes.”
“Mrs. Jones, you really should get down here now. Your clothes can wait.”
“I know, I know. The nurse reassured me David wouldn't wake up before I
got back. Tell David I’m getting in my car now. I finally secured a room in that hotel across the street, so I’ll be staying there until—”
“Lucy,” the doctor said.
“Yes?”
“We need to talk.”
I felt my heart stop before my eyes fluttered back open. Even now, three years later, those four little words knocked the wind from my lungs. There I was, droning on and on about clothes and hotels and getting back before he had woken up, and the doctor was simply trying to communicate the fact that he hadn’t woken up.
That he was never going to wake up.
“I can’t do this,” I said breathlessly.
I closed my eyes and leaned against my bathroom counter. I tried to imagine what it would be like to move on, to lay in the arms of another man. I tried to envision what it would be like to kiss a man who wasn’t David and lay with a man who wasn’t David. To moan over a man who wasn’t David and call out a name in pleasure that wasn’t David. I tried to think about what life would be like if another man eventually settled into this home with me. A man who might want children, or a bigger house, or to move to the other side of town.
There was a part of me, a sliver of a part, that yearned for all those things. A house full of children and a two-story home with a backyard full of apple trees and a yard for him to mow until he was sweaty and panting for air. I didn’t expect that for myself or from any man anytime soon, but I sure as hell didn’t expect that type of life from a playboy like Jason.
Yes, he had the cutest little daughter alive, and yes, everything about him seemed cocky and arrogant. He always flirted with me whenever I walked over to talk, and his eyes always lingered a little too long on my breasts whenever I wasn’t bundled up in a coat, but then another thought popped into my mind.
He honestly wouldn’t like me once he got to know me anyway.