by Claire Adams
"That's not what I mean," Gabe said with a concerned look. He stepped closer and I quickly backed away. "Grace, this isn't appropriate. You have to think of Verity and Honor. Your Mamm would not like this."
"Yeah, well, she's not here, is she?" I shot back angrily as the stress and grief welled up inside me and threatened to spill out.
"Don't be mad, Grace," Gabe said as he cautiously stepped toward me. "You know I'm only trying to help. I'm just worried about you and the kids."
"Well, don't be!" I hissed. "We're just fine! I've taken care of everything, haven't I?"
"Grace—" Gabe said as he put an arm around me and patted my shoulder. I wavered for a moment, but the feeling of his calm familiar presence cracked my facade and I began crying. I raised my hands to my face as I tried to choke back the sobs and cover the tears that flowed fast and hot down my cheeks. Gabe simply wrapped his other arm around me and said nothing as he waited for the storm to subside.
"I don't know what I'm going to do," I said in a small voice. "Everything's a mess and I don't know how to fix it. I want to go home!"
"You are home, Grace," Gabe said quietly. "This is your home. This is where you belong."
"No," I said as I stiffened. He quickly withdrew his arm and moved a short distance away from me.
"How can you say that after everything that's happened?" he asked.
"I'm not like you, Gabe," I replied wiping the last of the tears from my cheeks and straightening my kapp. "I love my family, but I have a life outside of this community, and I want to go home to it."
"I don't understand your need to put yourself before your family," Gabe said sadly.
"And that's precisely the problem," I shot back. "You've never understood anything about me."
"I love you, Grace," Gabe said. His expression was sad, but calm. "I always have and I always will. And no matter how hard you try to push me away, I'll always be here. Waiting for you."
"Gabe, don't," I said shaking my head. "Just don't. I'm not coming back."
"Grace?" Verity called from the kitchen. "Is Gabe staying for supper?"
I looked at Gabe and raised an eyebrow silently asking the question. He simply shook his head and headed for the front door.
"No, he's not staying," I called as moved back out to the porch watching Gabe walk across the yard, unhitch the horse and then swing himself up into the front seat of the buggy. He slapped the reins and the horse took off, heading for home as I stood silently watching him go.
"Your boyfriend seems like a nice guy," Adam said startling me.
"Huh? My boyfriend?" I said looking down at him holding the pot of peeled potatoes in his lap. “What on earth did you do?"
"Thought I'd help out," he shrugged giving me a lopsided grin and I could feel my pulse begin to race again. "You know, earn my keep and all. It looked easy enough. Did I get it right?"
I nodded as I took the pot from him and balanced it on my hip so that I could take it inside to Verity. I searched for something witty to say, something that would make me seem more cosmopolitan than I felt dressed in my plain clothes, but my mind was blank.
"Thank you," I said as I pulled open the front door and slipped inside.
"Don't mention it," Adam said, and then I heard him add, "I hope you two can work out your lovers spat."
I opened my mouth to reply, and then quickly shut it. I wasn't going to let Adam Wallace see that he could get to me—not when I had bigger issues to deal with in order to get back to my life in Chicago.
Chapter Twenty
Adam
I knew I'd hit a nerve with the boyfriend talk, but I liked seeing Grace Miller get flustered. She was normally so calm and reserved that it made me wonder if anything could penetrate her outer shell. It was obvious to me that Gabe had a huge crush on her, but the way she talked to him didn't indicate that his feelings were reciprocated. I wanted to ask her about it, but I knew that there was no way Grace was going to spill her secrets.
Over dinner, I watched as Danny excitedly signed the activities of the day and accounted for the work he'd done in the field. For a 15-year-old boy, he was surprisingly productive and eager to help ensure that the fields were cared for and the celery was healthy.
"What's up with this obsession with celery?" I asked as I scooped up a forkful of mashed potatoes. "I don't get it."
"The celery is for Verity's wedding," Honor said as she helped herself to more pot roast and signaled to me to pass the gravy.
"Okay?" I said looking across the table at Grace who was staring intently at her plate. "What's celery have to do with weddings?"
"Celery is used in the wedding dinner, English," Honor said impatiently.
"Honor!" Verity scolded. "That's not a nice way to refer to our guest!"
"He's not a guest. No one invited him to stay with us," Honor replied. "He's a convalescent who happens to be camped out on our sofa."
"Honor!" both Grace and Verity said at the same time.
"What?" Honor said defensively looking back and forth at her older sisters. "I'm just saying what everyone is thinking."
"It's rude," Verity said. "I'm sorry, Mr. Wallace. She's rather blunt."
"No need to be sorry," I shrugged. "She's right. I'm not a guest. I crashed my car and needed help. You offered under duress."
"Oh please, don't start pitying yourself," Honor interjected.
"I'm on your side!" I protested.
"Who said anything about sides?" she replied as she gave me an annoyed look. I sighed and threw up my hands not understanding the role in which I'd been cast. Danny turned to Honor and quickly signed something that made Grace and Verity laugh.
"No, I'm not trying to be difficult," Honor scowled at him. "I'm just trying to be honest, unlike the rest of you."
"Honor, that's uncalled for," Grace said as the smile slipped away from her lips. "We're all doing the best we can."
"Yeah, well, maybe that's not good enough!" Honor shouted as she pushed her chair back and bolted from the table. She ran for the door and was half way across the yard before the back door slammed.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Wallace," Verity said quietly. "She's having a hard time coping with the loss of our parents."
"It's perfectly understandable," I said, looking over at Grace who was staring at the screen door with a pained look on her face. "Everyone deals with loss differently."
A few minutes later, Grace got up from the table and, without saying a word, walked out the back door and across the yard toward the barn. I looked at Verity, but she had gotten up from the table and had her back to me as she ran water in the sink and prepared to do the dishes.
"Clear the table for me, would you, Danny?" she said without turning around, and I took that as my cue to clear out of the room. When Danny returned to the table to grab the plates, I motioned to the back door with a questioning look and he nodded and signed what I took to mean go.
I exited through the back door and started toward the barn before deciding not to interrupt Grace and Honor. Instead, I walked out back toward the fields and stood looking out over the verdant carpet of corn and soybeans as the sun slowly sank behind the trees and tried to figure out how I was going to turn this ship around.
Chapter Twenty-One
Grace
"Grace! Verity! Where are you?" Faith called as she and Hope hopped down out of the shiny black buggy Hope had borrowed from her in-laws. "Honor? Danny? Are you around?"
"I thought I saw someone in the barn," Hope said as she walked across the drive and into the barn. "Oh, there you two are!"
"What are you doing here?" I asked as I stood up and brushed the hay off my dress. Honor remained seated on a bale of hay with her arms crossed across her chest stubbornly refusing to look at any of us.
"We wanted to come talk to you, Grace," Faith said looking nervously at Honor as she pulled at the strings on her kapp. "Just you."
"Fine, why should this be any different than any other time?" Honor said as she pushed herself up off the bale an
d stomped out of the barn.
"What's wrong with her?" Hope asked wrinkling her nose.
"Oh, I don't know," I said in exasperation. "Maybe she's upset about something, like losing her parents?"
"There's no need to be sarcastic, Grace," Hope said sharply. "We're here to try and help."
"You could have fooled me," I muttered as I led them out of the barn and back to the drive. "What do you two want?"
"Grace, we talked to Uncle Amos and you just can't keep that English stranger here at the house with the younger ones," Faith blurted out. Hope grabbed her arm and shushed her before she could say anything more.
"Why does it matter to him? Or you, for that matter?" I asked. I was annoyed by their gossip and the fact that they didn't even try to hide it. "He's not a threat to anyone and he'll be gone in a few days."
"But Grace, it just doesn't look right," Faith said as she looked down and fiddled with the pins on her dress.
"It doesn't look right?" I said. "My goodness, Faith, since when did you become so concerned about what things look like? You, the woman who was pregnant with her first child at her own wedding."
"No need to be mean, Grace," Hope warned.
"I'm not being mean," I shot back. "I'm just sick of you two always judging everything I do and how I do it. You're no better than I am!"
"Who's calling who judgmental?" Hope shouted. "You're the one who looks down on us and our simple, little lives!"
"I've never said that!" I shouted back.
"Oh really?" Faith interjected. "You could have fooled me! You always have something to say about the great big life you lead and how quaint everything seems when you deign to come back!"
"I've never said anything about how great my life is! You're imagining things, Faith," I said turning toward her and catching the look of disapproval that flashed across her face. "Look at you, Mamm would be so disappointed in the two of you and how unkind you're being right now."
"Give me a break, Grace," Hope said crossing her arms over her chest and frowning at me. "Don't invoke Mamm or Dat or anyone else. This is about how you just waltz in here and take over without asking anyone else for input. What about us? What about what we think? We're the ones who live here. We're the ones who do the work and keep things going!"
"I am trying to help!" I shouted at her.
"Well, you're doing a poor job of it," Faith muttered.
"Grace, have you stopped and thought about Verity even once?" Hope asked as she tipped her chin up and looked at me haughtily. "She's the one who's going to suffer if the English man doesn't leave the house."
"How on earth is Verity going to suffer?" I asked incredulously.
"Well, I know it doesn't cross your mind, but Verity has a reputation to protect," Hope said dropping her voice to almost a whisper. "If word gets out that you've got some strange man living here, what are her in-laws going to think about her? What will Levi think about her?"
"They'll think she's a kind girl who took care of an injured stranger when he didn't have anywhere else to go!" I shouted at them. "You two are the most small-minded gossips I've ever met. You make me sick."
"I don't think you should be insulting us," Faith said following Hope's lead and frowning at me. "I think you should be listening to us and thinking about what Mamm and Dat would say about all of this."
"For the last time, Mamm and Dat would have taken him in and cared for him," I said throwing my hands up in the air. "You two are the only ones who are advocating we throw him out into the street!"
"We're not saying you should throw him out," Hope said shaking her head.
"We're just saying he should stay...somewhere else," Faith finished.
"And what if I don't give into your veiled threats?" I asked, feeling trepidation about the possible answer.
"Then we won't be coming around to see you and you won't be welcome in our homes," Hope said slowly. "I'm sorry, Grace, but it's just not right what you're doing. I know things are different for you, but they're not different here and we can't accept you doing things that defy the Bishop's orders."
"You two are so narrow minded," I sighed. "It's a pity really, because otherwise you're not so bad."
"There's no need to be mean, Grace," Hope said as she turned and walked back toward the buggy with Faith following close behind. "We're only doing what we think is right. I'm sorry if it's too small town for your big brain and big life."
"Please let the others know that if they want to visit us, they are welcome," Hope said looking down at me from the driver's seat. "You, however, are not."
"Take care, Grace," Faith said as Hope clicked the reins and turned the buggy back toward the road.
"Goodbye, Grace," Hope said as the horse picked up speed and carried them away.
I stood in the drive watching the buggy rolling down the road back toward their homes, and as they disappeared into the dark night, I felt the sting of rejection overwhelm my self-righteous outrage. In the span of a couple of weeks, I'd lost my parents and been shunned by my own sisters. I inhaled deeply to try and keep my pain from leaking out, but once I opened the front door, my carefully constructed walls came tumbling down and I sunk to the floor.
"I want to go home," I whispered as the tears began to flow. The problem was that I wasn't quite sure where home was anymore.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Adam
I was in the kitchen, gingerly holding an ice pack to the lump on the side of my head when I heard Grace come in through the front door. There was silence and then the sound of something hitting the floor.
"Grace?" I called. "Are you all right?"
When she didn't respond, I got up and walked into the living room and found her crumpled on the floor holding her face in her hands. Her body jerked as she swallowed her silent sobs.
"Grace, what happened?" I asked as I set the ice pack down on a side table and moved toward her.
"Don't," she said holding up a hand. "Just don't. I can't..."
"Can't what?" I asked. I maintained the small distance between us, but watched her closely.
"I just can't," she rasped as she swallowed another sob. She looked small and fragile crumpled on the floor with her bonnet askew.
"Grace, do you want me to get Verity or Honor?" I asked unsure how to help her.
"No!" she replied fiercely before looking up at me. Her face was streaked with tears and the look in her bright blue eyes was one that could only be described as broken. I wanted to pull her off the floor and wrap my arms around her, but I had a feeling that this might only make things worse, so I stood still and waited. "Don't get either one of them. There's nothing they can do."
"You want to tell me what happened?" I asked as she covered her face with her hands and cried. I tried a softer approach, "Can I at least help you up off the floor?"
She didn't immediately respond, so I waited.
"Yes," Grace replied. She said it so quietly that I could barely hear her whisper over the sound of the night noises coming through the open windows. I reached out and offered her my hand. Her hand was warm and wet with tears, but I held tightly to it as I pulled her up off the floor and wrapped my arms around her pulling her into my chest. She started to pull back then stopped and wrapped her arms around my waist resting her cheek on my chest.
"You want to tell me what happened?" I asked. I could feel her soft warm body pressing against my own, and I had to quickly shift my mind to the most recent Cubs batting line up to tame my natural reaction.
"My...my...my sisters shunned me," she said stumbling over the words.
"Why would they do that?"
"They want me to fall in line with the rest of the community," she said inhaling deeply and swallowing another sob. I could feel the dampness from her tears soaking through my shirt, and I knew there was more to this than she was telling me.
"What exactly do they want you to do?" I asked. There was a long pause before she answered and I was acutely aware of the way her hands felt as she
gripped my back.
"They want me to make you leave," she whispered as she loosened her grip and ran her hands up my back. When I didn't move a muscle, she continued, "They think it's inappropriate for you to be staying in our house and they said that I'm no longer welcome in their homes."
"I'm so sorry, Grace," I said trying to calculate how quickly I could move out of the house, but unsure of where I would go until the Mustang was in working order again. "If it helps, I'll go tonight."
"No, it doesn't help at all!" she cried as she pulled back and looked up at me. Emotions flashed across her face as she bit her lip and then said, "I'm so sick of all of this. I want my parents back. I want my life back. I want to wake up in the morning and find that this has all been a terrible dream and that I'm back in my own bed living my own life!"
I nodded, not knowing how to respond to her outburst. I was acutely aware of the way she was still pressed against me and as I looked down into her flashing blue eyes, I had the overwhelming urge to kiss her. I held her gaze and then, taking a chance, reached up and cupped her cheek. She sighed and relaxed into my arms as I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers.
She let out a soft moan as she returned the kiss. Her hands gripped my shirt pulling me closer as the kiss intensified. She let go of my shirt and ran her hands up my back and then down my sides. I winced when she slid them up my chest and across the bruise left by the seatbelt.
"Oh no, are you okay?" she whispered into my lips. Afraid that if I said anything the moment would be over, I nodded and kissed her again as I caressed her face. I slid my hand down to her shoulder moving closer to her breast, and when she didn't stop me, I cupped it in my hand tracing a circle around her nipple until it stood erect under the cotton fabric of her dress. Grace sighed as she wound her arms around my neck and kissed me harder, and with my other arm I pulled her closer to me pressing my rigid shaft against her body.
"Grace..." I groaned as she flicked my lower lip with her tongue before catching it between her teeth and lightly biting down.
"Mmm hmmm," she murmured as her tongue found mine again. There was an urgency in our kiss as we began fumbling with each other's clothing.