by Ward Maia
Ellis shook his head, embarrassed, though he wasn’t quite sure why.
“Thanks,” he said to Rudá. Then a thought occurred to him. “Would you like me to give you a minute?”
A fond smile curved Rudá’s lips, and he looked back down at the headstone. Finally, he shook his head.
“I came here a couple of days ago. I come every week,” he said and looked up, eyes scanning the horizon.
Ellis followed his gaze, trying to see what he saw. When Ellis looked, all he saw were rolling hills covered in coffee stalks. They were maybe ten minutes from the house, and Ellis could see its outline through the trees.
The land was beautiful; there was no denying that. Ellis could even understand why Meredith had chosen this as her final resting place.
The thought made him melancholy. When Ellis died, he’d probably be buried in the family plot in Rio. The rest of the Campos family members that passed away were. Things would not be different for him.
Except, no one visited those long-departed ancestors. He’d gone maybe once with his grandmother to visit her mother’s grave. It was inside a stone building with beautiful carved angels on the walls.
“To watch over her long sleep,” his grandmother had said.
Ellis had just nodded as if he understood. He didn’t really. What seven-year-old does?
The building was cold, damp, and smelled like the boxes of old clothes his grandmother sometimes donated to charity. It was as all mausoleums should be.
Meredith’s final resting place was nothing like that. The late-afternoon sun shone through the trees, warming the grass they stood on. A breeze rustled the leaves, and birds called out to the sky. Probably complaining that Ellis and Rudá were disturbing their peace. In the distance, the outline of her home framed the quiet picture.
And she had visitors. Rudá came every week, cleaned the headstone and got rid of the weeds. Because she was loved. She’d had a family.
The hills around them darkened, drawing Ellis’s attention. He looked up and saw dark clouds moving swiftly over them.
“Late-March rains,” Rudá said, eyeing the sky. “We should head back. Unless you fancy getting wet.”
Ellis looked at him and saw the mischievous smile he was already getting used to curving his lips. Ellis smirked and shook his head.
“Not an outdoors type of person,” he said.
Rudá chuckled. He bent down and traced the outside of the headstone almost reverently before tapping his index finger three times on it.
Then he got up and beckoned Ellis to follow him. They were halfway down the hill when the rain started. It was a drizzle at first, but it quickly escalated into a downpour.
“At least you’ll have some adventures to share when you go back home,” Rudá shouted to be heard over the rain.
“I have been caught in the rain before,” Ellis shouted back.
“Thought you didn’t like getting wet!” Rudá said, smiling.
Ellis shook his head as they ran the rest of the way back. He couldn’t help but smile as Rudá’s laugh echoed around the raindrops soaking their clothes.
Chapter 9
THE SMALL wooden building seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Ellis had his head down, trying to keep the rain out of his eyes, when Rudá grabbed his upper arm and pulled him into what was essentially a shed.
Ellis scrubbed a hand over his face and hair, shaking off the excess water from his body. Rudá chuckled and cooed at something.
Ellis turned to see the other man crouched on the floor, scratching a dog’s ear. He took an automatic step back, his foot bumping against what looked like some sort of electric rake. The contact disturbed the balance and the rake-type thing clattered to the floor.
Both the dog and Rudá turned to look at him. The dog got up, ears pointing to the sky. He sniffed in Ellis’s direction and gave a short bark.
Ellis took another step back, his shoes colliding with the wooden wall behind him. Rudá rose to his feet, his gaze bouncing between Ellis and the dog. Then he turned to the dog and snapped his fingers once.
“Duke.” The dog turned his attention to Rudá, his tail flicking twice. “Sit.”
The dog lowered his enormous body to the floor, still staring at Rudá. His tail waggled enthusiastically as Rudá cooed at him and rubbed his head.
“Duke is one of the guard dogs that roam the farm. He’s harmless. Well, mostly.” Rudá patted the dog’s side. Duke’s tongue lolled out, and he almost looked like he was smiling. “Come here. Introduce yourself.”
Ellis made a sound he wasn’t too proud of. The prospect of going anywhere near the humongous creature made him want to run in the opposite direction.
“I-I’m good,” he said, shaking his head convulsively.
“You’re afraid of dogs?” Rudá asked.
Ellis waited for the ridicule to come. For Rudá to sneer and taunt him. But his face was blank as he waited for Ellis’s honest answer.
“Not just dogs. Um, big animals in general. Horses are the worst,” he confessed, and resisted the urge to knock his head back against the wall.
“That’s okay,” Rudá said. Ellis searched his face for any sign that the other man was joking or being sarcastic. He found none. “You should still introduce yourself. In case you’re walking around the property and come across him.”
Ellis shuddered at the possibility of walking around the farm and running into the big dog. Maybe in the dead of night. When no one would be around to hear him scream as he was eviscerated.
He took a deep breath and shook his head, trying to dispel the morbid thoughts. “I won’t be walking around the property. So yeah, there’s that.”
“You should. Besides, he’s a good dog to get you started. Duke is just a big softie.” Rudá scratched the dog’s ear and pulled it playfully. Duke’s tail waggled and he licked Rudá’s hand.
Ellis wanted to say no. To politely decline and maybe run back into the pouring rain. But Rudá was looking at him with an honest expression. Even though he knew he shouldn’t, he wanted to trust him.
He nodded but stayed put.
“Duke, down,” Rudá said. Duke lowered his front paws and lay down on the floor. “Just walk over here slowly.”
Ellis swallowed and wiped his sweaty hands on his pants. Seeing as they were already soaked from their trek in the rain, it didn’t help much.
He walked slowly forward. Duke’s gaze focused on him, and Ellis’s step faltered.
“It’s okay. You’re doing great.” Rudá nodded at him.
Ellis took another step. Then another. And another. Until Rudá raised his hand for him to stop. Duke was still looking at him.
“Crouch and extend your hand out to him,” Rudá said, far too calmly.
“Excuse me?” Ellis squeaked, not even bothering to cover it up with a cough. Considering he was facing what basically amounted to the Brazilian version of Cerberus, he felt like making weird emasculating noises was maybe justified.
Rudá smiled patiently at him. “He won’t attack you,” he said in what Ellis suspected was supposed to be a reassuring tone, but that wasn’t really doing it for him.
Ellis crouched on the floor and had to force his legs to keep him steady. He took a deep breath and started to slowly extend his arm toward the dog.
“Besides, I’m here if he tries anything,” Rudá said.
Ellis almost swallowed his tongue and was about to pull his hand back and tear Rudá a new one, when something wet touched the back of his knuckles.
Ellis froze and snapped his attention back to the huge dog lying down in front of him. Duke’s big snout shifted over his knuckles as he scented Ellis. Then a wet and warm tongue brushed against his hand. He grimaced but made no move to pull back.
Rudá chuckled and patted Duke’s side again. The dog’s attention turned to him, and Ellis took the opportunity to pull his hand back and get to his feet, then took a few measured steps back.
He breathed a sigh of relief as his back
rested against the wooden wall again, on the opposite side of the shed from where Rudá and Duke were. Ellis extended his hand out of the shed, letting the rain wash away Duke’s drool.
He shivered as a breeze blew into the shed, cooling the water sticking his clothes to his body. He watched the rain, breathing in the sweet scent of the wet earth.
Eyes burned the back of his neck, and Ellis turned his head and saw Rudá studying him. He gave him a small smile and turned back to the pouring rain.
“It’ll pass soon,” Rudá said, facing outside.
Ellis nodded. They were quiet for a moment, just watching the rain. Ellis wondered what Rudá was thinking about. If he wondered about the stranger from the big city Meredith had left her farm to.
Did he resent her? Was Rudá angry that Meredith had given the farm, which was essentially his home, to someone else? Someone who was only connected to her by blood, who she’d never actually talked to?
Did he resent Ellis? For coming here and wanting to sell everything, as if he had a right? But what else was he supposed to do if not sell the farm? There was no room for a place like this in his life. Ellis was a lawyer, not a farmer. He had no idea how to even begin to take care of his aunt’s home.
Rudá would move on. He had experience, and he would find another farm to work on. Even if he had lived here for so long.
The thought didn’t sit well in his stomach, so he pushed it away.
He thought back to the ledgers, still safely stashed in his room. He’d searched the pages again and again, hoping to maybe find something he overlooked. But there was nothing other than the cryptic notes scrawled on his and his sister’s birthdays.
“Did she ever mention us?” he blurted out, his tongue getting ahead of his mind again.
There was a long pause, where Rudá studied him while Ellis kept looking out at the rain, pretending he didn’t care about the answer.
“Once,” Rudá said.
Ellis risked a glance at the other man. His eyes searched Ellis’s face, looking for what, Ellis wasn’t sure.
“When?” Ellis asked.
“A long time ago.” Rudá turned to look out at the rain, his gaze almost wistful, as if he was looking back into the past.
There was another pause. Ellis chewed the inside of his cheek. He wanted to ask what she’d said but wasn’t sure he could voice the words.
“It made her sad, I think,” Rudá said. Ellis turned to look at him. “Being estranged from her family. The one time she said anything, she told me her biggest regret was being quiet for so long. That maybe if she’d said something sooner, things would have been different.”
“Said something about what?” Ellis asked, frowning.
“She never told me anything specific.” Rudá shrugged. “Maybe about how unhappy she was. About everything… wrong.”
Ellis snorted, unable to hold in his reaction. Because he had said something about everything that was wrong and how unhappy he was. Where had that gotten him? Homeless and being forced to face the harsh reality that his so-called friends were all vultures just waiting to pick on his carcass.
“Trust me, it wouldn’t have done her any good,” he said bitterly.
“Maybe. But I always thought she wished she could’ve had a relationship with you and your sister,” Rudá said.
Ellis thought back to the ledgers once more.
Called MC. Didn’t let me speak to E.
That made him mad. Because if she wanted to contact him, actually contact him, there were other ways to go about it instead of through his father.
“Maybe she should have tried harder.” He clenched his jaw.
“She did.” Rudá frowned.
“Right, that’s why I know so much about my own fucking aunt. Because she tried,” he said sarcastically.
“She did,” Rudá insisted.
Ellis scoffed and shook his head. Rudá curled his fingers into fists and clenched his jaw.
“There are things… things you don’t know, that you don’t understand,” Rudá said through gritted teeth.
Ellis laughed bitterly. “Believe me, I’m well aware there are things I don’t know.” He glared at Rudá, doing his best to get his point across.
“That’s not what I…. Jesus fuck, you’re just as impossible as she was,” Rudá spat out, burying his fingers in his hair and pulling the strands.
That made Ellis uncharacteristically angry. Meredith and he were connected by blood. That was it. Strawberry-blond hair and a smattering of freckles scattered on their face and body. That was it.
Normally he’d be able to bypass his anger and keep his cool. But he had spent most of his day walking underneath the merciless sun, and now he was wet and hungry. Not a recipe conducive to keeping his temper in check.
“I’m not her!” he snapped at Rudá.
“Oh, believe me,” Rudá said, all trace of the good-humored and dimpled smiling man gone, “I’m well aware of that.”
That only made him angrier. Because Ellis was pretty sure he was being insulted.
“Then maybe forget all these fucking expectations you seem to have of me,” Ellis said.
Rudá was quiet for a second. Then he strode across the shed and came to a stop in front of Ellis.
Ellis held his ground, squaring his shoulders and lifting his chin. Even though Rudá was broader and more muscular, Ellis couldn’t help but feel a little smug that he was a few inches taller.
“Hair, eyes, and skin.” Rudá brushed Ellis’s hair off his forehead.
Ellis batted the other man’s hand away and crossed his arms over his chest.
“That’s all that’s left of her. It would break her heart if she were still alive.” Rudá’s voice was a mix of disdain and sadness.
Ellis’s hackles rose, and he stepped closer to the other man, bumping their chests together.
“Your precious Meredith was a few screws short of a brain. What kind of person leaves an entire fucking coffee farm to a complete stranger?” Ellis’s chest rose and fell faster the more worked up he got. He curled his hands into fists, heart racing.
Rudá grabbed the collar of his shirt and pushed him against the wall. Ellis exclaimed and stared aghast at Rudá.
“She was yours too,” Rudá said. His voice was quieter, but there was still an edge to it.
Ellis was too stunned to speak. In his line of work, he was used to verbal sparring. Spending days and long nights negotiating divorce settlements and agreements.
He was, for lack of a better word, useless in a fistfight. Ellis had never been big or brawny as a teenager. As an adult, he was no different.
They stood like that for a while, Rudá’s warm breath fanning over Ellis’s face and his hands still curled in his shirt. He smelled like rain, dirt, sweat, and smoke. There was no logical reason why that blend should be attractive to him, and yet….
Ellis’s gaze traveled unbidden down Rudá’s face. He traced the thin white scar running along his jaw with his eyes. He also counted three freckles. Two on top of his left eyebrow and one to the right of his Cupid’s bow.
His gaze settled on Rudá’s lips. He stared, maybe for longer than was polite, unable to look away.
Rudá leaned in. The subtle movement snapped Ellis’s attention back to the other man’s eyes. He swallowed, his throat making a dry clicking sound.
“You keep looking at me like that, Mr. Campos….” Rudá trailed off, his eyes searching Ellis’s face.
“And what?” Ellis asked, his voice raspy.
Rudá smiled. It was different from all the others Ellis had already seen. It had a hint of mischief and… something else Ellis wasn’t sure he wanted to name.
He leaned into Ellis more. Their lips were inches apart, and Ellis could almost taste his breath.
Arousal coiled in the pit of his stomach, and his own breath stuttered.
It had been a while since he was with anyone. He wasn’t even that into kissing. But he couldn’t help but wonder what kissing Rudá would fe
el like.
Rudá let go of Ellis’s shirt, his hands dropping to his waist. He pressed their bodies together. Ellis shivered at the heat rolling off the other man.
That was all he could take. He leaned forward, pressing their lips together. Rudá made a small surprised sound in the back of his throat and didn’t respond for a few heart-stopping seconds. Then he pressed their bodies impossibly close together and kissed Ellis back.
Rudá’s lips were rough and a little dry. Ellis assumed it was from spending most of his days working under the sun. It made Ellis want to taste more, maybe see if he tasted like sunshine or the earth he loved so much.
He parted his lips, and Rudá took immediate advantage of that. He licked into Ellis’s mouth with an almost desperate intensity. There was little finesse to the kiss. It was unlike any of the other kisses Ellis had ever had.
He buried his fingers in Rudá’s hair, the strands thicker than anticipated. Ellis curled his fingers and pulled gently. Rudá groaned against his lips and pushed his thigh between Ellis’s legs.
The movement made Ellis gasp into the other man’s mouth. Rudá swallowed the sound and pressed his body even tighter against Ellis’s. It felt like he wanted to mold their bodies to the wood of the shed.
The rest of the world fell away while they kissed and kissed. Until a loud bark brought reality crashing back.
Ellis broke the kiss and tried to distance himself from Rudá. Since they were pressed together, all he could do was rest his head against the wood at his back.
He closed his eyes and tried to get his breathing under control. His heart was beating erratically, and it didn’t help that Rudá’s own heartbeat reverberated through his chest and up Ellis’s rib cage.
Ellis let out a long breath, his eyes still closed. Rudá’s hands tightened on his waist for a moment before falling away as he took a step back. Ellis’s own hand dropped from Rudá’s hair. He took another deep breath and heard the other man take an answering step away from him.
Finally, after a few minutes that seemed to stretch taut around them, Ellis opened his eyes and looked at Rudá.