I sank down on the floor and leaned my back against the bed.
It would have been easier if he were simply a cheater. It would be easier to hate him. I’d feel played, and that would be heartbreaking, but that was a wound I was used to. I knew the steps to recovery.
Feeling wanted, now that was something I had very little experience with.
I peered up at him. He was devastating with his blue eyes and beardy face and pouty lips. Beyond his ridiculously hot looks and his on-point charm, was there something there? My gut said so. As annoying as his interruptions had been in my pitch meetings, he’d always had the most thoughtful comments, showing snippets of what must be a complicated and fascinating mind.
And the way he’d been with Teyana at the opera, saying and doing the right thing for her without smothering or domineering like so many other men had done.
And how he let me glimpse moments of vulnerability when he talked about his father and being stuck in his job.
I’d only seen the trailer for Scott Sebastian, but I was already sure I’d love the whole film.
“Are you really thinking about throwing it all away?” It came out tentative and wistful and also a bit incredulous. Because it was a stupid thing for him to consider for a girl he’d just met, and I was scared that he meant it.
But also, I wished that he did. And that scared me too.
He slid down the door until he was on the floor, the same way I had when I’d come to the room to cry, except instead of curling up in a ball, he bent one knee and stretched the other long leg out in front of him so that all I’d have to do was lean forward and I could touch the sole of his designer dress shoe. “At least,” he said after thoughtful consideration, “put it on pause.”
Well, that was more reasonable. And vague. And still the only thing I wanted to know was, “Because of me?”
He nodded.
“We don’t even know what this is.” And what were we even talking about? He’d put off his engagement and we’d...what? We barely knew each other.
But he knew me better than Kendra.
“I know I can’t keep my hands off of you,” he said.
“And that might be all it is.”
“Or it could be more. I’ve never wanted to find out before.”
My stupid heart did a backflip. “And now you do.”
“Yes. I want to see. If you’ll let me.”
The enormity of his statement pushed my eyes to study the floor. Those weren’t player words. They were actually the opposite of player words. Most men I fell for were all, This isn’t serious. It’s all just fun. Don’t you dare try to wonder what else we could be.
I’d never once heard one of them say, Let’s see.
Immediately, I found ways to diminish what he was saying. He’d never wanted more than casual before because he hadn’t heard the ticking of the clock. This most likely had nothing to do with me. It would have been whomever he happened to bed next. This was about feeling trapped.
Though he did say the engagement discussion happened three months ago. Surely there had been other women between then and me.
I lifted my head again. As soon as our eyes caught, there it was—the blaze of desire, as instant and intense as a lit match meeting gas. His pupils darkened. A hum began low in my belly, ancient and primal in tone.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he said, his gaze penetrating.
“I’m an idiot.”
“For getting involved with me?”
“For that, and for still being...affected by you.” We both knew affected was code for turned-on. “When she’s down the hall. How fucked up is that?”
I didn’t think it was possible, but his eyes went even darker. “That doesn’t make you fucked up or an idiot. You feel that way because you’re a kinky goddess. One of the reasons I’m so affected by you.”
Yep, fire. He and I sharing space always ended up with us in flames.
I jumped to my feet. “You should go.”
He rose slowly, somehow managing to be closer to me than before when he was standing. “Okay. I said I would.”
“You did.” I couldn’t tell if he’d stepped forward or if I had.
“Do you want me to?”
I nodded. Emphatically. “No.”
Flame drawn to flame, his lips crashed into mine, eager and greedy and out of control. There was very little foreplay. We’d already done that with our eyes and our words and our being in the same room. It already felt too long since we’d touched. Too long since I’d felt whole and perfect, his cock filling the parts of me that now felt achingly empty. We weren’t wasting another minute before he was inside me again.
“Fuck, your ass,” he said, my dress around my waist, his hands wrapped around me and stuck down my panties to grab my cheeks. Whatever else he wanted to say about it was swallowed in a molten-hot kiss. The stiff rod grinding against my belly told me it was a fair guess that my ass made him hot.
I gave up on undoing his shirt buttons and moved to work on his belt. As soon as he was unfastened enough to get down his pants, I stroked my hand inside his boxer briefs, desperate to feel the hot column of flesh. Just touching the smooth skin with my palm made my pussy throb and weep and need, need, need.
Abruptly, Scott broke away. “Turn around.” He was already turning me. When I was facing the bed, he reached both arms around and plumped my breasts through the dress. My nipples turned into sharp darts as he pinched them between his fingertips. (Hallelujah for tits that could handle going braless!) Then, he tugged the silky material down so that he could touch me skin-to-skin as he rutted against my backside.
I glanced down to watch as he roughly fondled my tits like they were melon-sized stress balls, designed to be squeezed and toyed with and handled. When I whimpered, he growled then pushed between my shoulder blades, bending me over until my forearms hit the mattress.
I next felt his hands at my hips where his fingers hooked into my panties. Wriggling, I helped him pull them down. A rustle of fabric afterward, and I was sure his own pants were down, his cock free. I lifted my ass and spread my legs, making room for him, inviting him into my aching pussy.
His fingers came first. Two solid digits sawing in and out of me. “You’re dripping, Tessa. All for me?”
“Yes.”
“How long have you been wet like this for me? All night? Before you knew the truth or after?”
Oh, God. “Before. All night.” From the moment I saw him at another woman’s side. Didn’t matter if he was unavailable, as long as he was in the room, my body was tuned in and turned on.
“Me too, baby. As soon as I turned and saw you in this fuck-tight dress. Your tits pressing against that thin fabric like they wanted to be seen. Your bare neck... I wanted to decorate it white.”
If he kept talking dirty to me like this, I was going to be done before he even got in me. And I really needed him to be in me, and not just with his fingers.
“Give me what I really want,” I begged, contradicting my words by chasing his hand as it pulled away because hey, anything was better than being empty.
“What is that?”
“You.”
“Me, how? Another finger?” Two fingers became three, not nearly an adequate substitution for the thickness of his cock.
I wouldn’t get it until I asked for it. Those were the rules. I knew that about him. “I want your cock. I want you to fuck me.”
“Good girl. I want that too.”
The praise brought relief because I knew that what would follow would be reward. His fingers pushed in again, then dragged out slowly until they were completely gone. They reappeared in front of my face, a silent command to suck him clean, which I did eagerly, my body shuddering as he moaned. Behind me, I could feel his shaft jerk against my upper thigh, teasing me with pleasure yet to come.
Any second I would feel him there. The nudge of his head against my hole. Any second. Any...
“Fuck!” he said. An exasperated curse, no
t the I’m-so-fucking-into-this kind. “No condom.”
I delighted a tiny bit in the fact that he hadn’t seen this coming, that he most likely hadn’t brought one at all this weekend, which meant he hadn’t been planning to fuck Kendra before I’d shown up either.
But the delight was short-lived because fuck. No condom.
I was on birth control. I could tell him. He could swear he was clean, and I’d believe him like a horny-ass dope and deal with the consequences later.
“The nightstand!” I exclaimed, remembering suddenly where we were. “Leila keeps each room stocked.” Along with a copy of the Holy Bible. Benefit of Kendra coming from a family of social activists that pushed for things like sex education and free birth control and the end to STDs spread all in Jesus’s name.
The sound of a drawer opening and closing, followed by the rip of foil, and then finally, he shoved himself in, and Lord almighty, it was divine.
Divinity in the form of rapid-fire thrusts, I decided, was my new favorite form of worship. I could practically hear the angels singing. Hell, I was singing with them, gasping and crying out as Scott drilled into me.
I was mindless.
Not so mindless that I wasn’t conscious of my volume. Fully aware that Kendra’s room was close by, I tried to be quiet. But a little bit I didn’t try, too, because maybe if she heard us that would be all right. Or even more than all right.
Fuck, what was wrong with me?
“This feels like cheating,” I panted, my breasts jiggling with the force of Scott’s thrusts.
“That’s why it’s so hot.”
He bit the top of my shoulder, and that was hot too, but he was right. A lot of the current hot factor was that we were fucking while his fiancée/not-fiancée slept unawares down the hall.
Kink. E.
Super kinky.
A twinge of moral guilt interrupted my building orgasm. “But tell me again that it’s not?”
His mouth now was at my ear, his body completely bent over mine, smothering and comforting me all at once. “Is that really what you want to hear me say right now?”
No, it wasn’t. Because a part of me wanted to believe that this was wrong, that we were wrong, because that was exciting and sexy but also because it was maybe a little bit the truth.
All it took after that was Scott’s arm snaked around my waist and the press of his thumb against my clit, and I detonated like a bomb, clenching and coming and making a mess all over his magnificent cock.
His other hand flew to my mouth to cover my cry. “Fuck, Tessa.” And then his thrusts stuttered and slowed and then stilled as he grunted out his own release.
By the time my knees felt like they wouldn’t collapse if I tried to stand, shame began to settle.
Which was when Scott tugged me up and turned me into him. “It’s not cheating. Because I’m not engaged. I’m going to fix it.”
A shaky breath in and the shame became less overwhelming. A shaky breath out, and I almost believed him.
I liked believing him. If he held me all night, if he fucked me every time we woke, I wondered if I could believe him completely by the time the sun rose or if the light of day would expose the idea of us as a lie.
I had a better shot at the former if I was in his arms.
Lifting my mouth, I pressed a kiss against his chin. “Will you stay?”
I was nervous about the answer. He couldn’t say yes if his relationship with Kendra was more than he’d let on. But he could say no, and it wouldn’t mean he’d lied. It could simply mean that he was in a house with his parents, his fiancée, and her parents, and that he had some sense of decorum.
“I shouldn’t,” he said, brushing his lips against mine. “But I will. It’s either stay or sleep on the couch. Because, apparently, I was assigned a room with Kendra.”
Assigned to room with her because everyone assumed they’d be fucking because the two of them were fucking engaged.
Reality came swiftly barreling toward me, and I pulled out of his arms. “Fuck, Scott. I can’t do sharing. I know that’s a lot to ask when we’re just feeling things out, but—”
“Hey.” He pulled me back to him, placing a single finger on my lips to shush me up. “I’m not interested in anyone but you, Tessa. I haven’t touched another woman since I laid eyes on you, and I have absolutely no intent to while we figure this out. And neither will you.”
“You’re right. I won’t touch another woman either.” I grinned against his finger. It smelled like me, and another wave of shame and arousal rolled over me.
“Well. If you do, just invite me to the party.”
I sobered. “No other men for me, Scott. Just you.”
“Just you.”
Why did it feel like we were taking vows? Maybe because I recognized that they were probably the most earnest words he’d ever said to a woman.
“Then you’ll stay. Can’t figure out anything with you on the couch.” I kissed him in that way that told him we wouldn’t be sleeping any time soon and ignored the dreadful feeling that we weren’t the ones in control of figuring anything out at all.
Four
Scott
I inched the door closed slowly, slowly, slowly, careful so that the click wouldn’t disturb anyone if they were awake at this ungodly hour. Me, I’d rather be sleeping. Preferably next to the gorgeous, warm body I’d just left, but I also had some degree of decorum, and sleeping in another woman’s bedroom in my soon-to-be-(not) in-laws’ house seemed like something I should keep on the downlow until things were appropriately sorted.
So sneaking out at the crack of dawn it was.
Turned out the sneaking didn’t matter. As soon as the door latched, I looked up to find my father in his dressing robe standing outside my parents’ bedroom, a decided scowl on his face. He’d always been a fitful sleeper, prone to wandering the house in the early morning.
But the odds of him being in that exact spot at this particular moment... Come on, really?
The question would have been directed at God if I didn’t truly believe that any deity that possibly existed was on the Sebastian payroll. Too much fell in their favor to not have a higher power on their side.
My side.
Most days it felt more like his side. My father’s side. I was just another one of the army of pawns he shuffled around at his whim.
I was just another one of a hundred minions trying to win his esteem. Made no difference that I shared his DNA, he still made me work for it. Honestly, he might have made me work harder.
The instinct to please him was so innate, my initial thought was to cover. Tell him I’d been wandering myself and accidentally went in the wrong room. Maybe he didn’t even know which room I was supposed to be in.
Not likely. Very little escaped Henry Sebastian’s notice. It was one of his gifts.
Well, fuck him. He could disapprove all he wanted, that hypocrite. He was openly unfaithful to his wife. And I wasn’t marrying Kendra anyway. Which he didn’t know yet.
The look on his face said this might not be the best time to bring that up.
Besides, it was a conversation best had with my mother in the room. I’d learned over my lifetime that he was slightly more reasonable in her presence. I’d talk to them later this morning, when the sun was up. Kendra too. Stop this whole engagement fiasco before it got too far out of control.
First, I needed sleep. I’d gotten very little of it in Tessa’s bed, and after two nights in a row of our extracurricular activities, I was exhausted. Even the sofa wasn’t sounding so bad.
And if I had to pass my father to get there, so be it. I held my head high, unwilling to let him turn my escape downstairs into a walk of shame. If anything, it was a walk of pride. For once in my life, I had something that he had no part of. Someone he had no part of.
There was nothing he could do or say to take that away.
“Oh, Scott. I didn’t know you were in here.”
I sat up blinking and put my hand up to b
lock my eyes from the sunlight. Leila Montgomery stood at the side of the window, her hand hovering over the button to draw the curtains.
“I’ll shut them again,” she said apologetically. “I wouldn’t have opened them if I’d seen you there.”
“No, no, it’s good.” A glance at my watch said it was a quarter after nine. Another blink, and my head cleared. She’d caught me sleeping on her living room couch, still wearing my clothes from the night before. There was no way she didn’t have questions.
There was a list of people that had to be spoken to before I could give her suitable answers.
“I couldn’t sleep,” I lied. “Came down here, and I guess I crashed.”
She gave me a look that said she was sure she could see right through me. “You don’t have to pretend with me.”
I hesitated. Had she seen me sneaking out of Tessa’s bedroom too? Or was she simply letting me know that she was aware my relationship with Kendra was a sham?
Thankfully, she explained. “I’m her mother, Scott. I know better than anyone that she snores like a chainsaw. Well, maybe not better than you.” She chuckled. “I’ll get you a pair of those noise-canceling earbuds that Martin gave me for my birthday. You’ll sleep through a hurricane.”
Maybe she didn’t know the truth about me and Kendra after all.
“Thanks, but please don’t bother. I already have a pair. Just forgot to bring them with me.” I stood up and stretched, noticing now that the woman was dressed up. Not in evening wear, but in an outfit far less casual than my parents generally donned on Sunday mornings.
My body tensed. If there was another event thrown on me without my knowledge, I was going to hit the roof. Last night had been bad enough. There was no way I was sitting through a brunch while a bunch of rich bitches I’d never met congratulated me on a wedding that would never happen.
But before I could get thoroughly worked up, a horn honked.
“Hold your horses, Martin,” she yelled at the window, as though he could hear her through the glass. She turned back to me. “I’m sorry we’re running off. Normally, I’d skip church when we have guests, but we’re both on the board, and today the minister is informing the congregation of our latest budget. We need to be there in case there are any questions.”
Man in Love Page 4