We were halfway down the hall going toward the back stairs when Grandpa came in off the terrace and cornered us. “Trying to sneak in, are you? What kind of manners are those? Don’t even have time to say hello to your host? Has that good-for-nothing son of mine taught you nothing?”
I tensed, wondering if Tessa could tell that his gruff exterior was all a facade. Unlike my father, who was as much bite as he was bark, my grandfather was a big old softie.
“Didn’t want to disturb you, Grandpa,” I said, letting him embrace me. It always felt odd when he did since neither of my parents were huggers, but the strangeness always melted away as soon as his arms folded around me. “And I thought it would be more polite to not greet you looking so travel-worn.” A.k.a. sexed-up.
“Nonsense. I’m ninety-five years old, Scottie. That means I don’t have time to care about appearances. Though it also means I understand the lure of an afternoon nap, so I’ll make this quick.” His eyes glanced over at Tess. “Is this her?”
“She can hear you, you know. She’s not deaf like you are.”
“I’m perfectly aware she can hear me.” His eyes twinkled as he turned to my girlfriend. “Tess Turani, is it? Scott has told me all about you.”
“He has?” Her brows rose in surprise, her face radiant as she let Grandpa take her hands in his.
I worried suddenly that she’d be upset that I hadn’t told her much about him, besides the brief rundown I’d given her when we’d landed. It wasn’t that I was trying to hide him. Or maybe I was. In some ways, it was even harder to share the warmth and goodness of my grandfather with Tess than it was to share the ugliness of my father. The elder Sebastian might have been the man to build SIC, but he wasn’t anything like the current face of the empire, and letting people see that felt like admitting some sort of personal failure, even though I had no control over either of them.
But I needn’t have worried because Grandpa didn’t let her have a single second to be upset. “Of course, he has. And I can see he didn’t overdo his description of you in the least. You’re absolutely breathtaking. Must have a heart of gold too to put up with a loser like this one.”
He winked at me, and I gave him a begrudged smile. He was good at laying on the charm. I’d probably learned a thing or two from him about it over the years.
“Eh, not so much a loser,” Tess said, and I could tell she was already smitten with the old man. “He’s got a few things going for him.”
“I don’t need to hear about the size of his cock, please and thank you. I’ve read all about it in those trashy magazines the housekeeper picks up from the supermarket. I’m hoping you’ve found he has some qualities that extend beyond the bedroom and the bank account.”
“Grandpa, please.” Why hadn’t I counted on him embarrassing me? Major fail on my part.
“Shush, boy. I’m a modern man. I know how these things work. It’s why you’re staying in the guest quarters. You can be as loud as you—”
“Grandpa!”
He dropped Tessa’s hand so he could swat me away. “I’ll let you get to your love nest soon enough. Just wanted to meet the girl and let you know I’ve arranged for dinner on the terrace around seven. Pulled out all the stops too. She’ll be impressed, kid.”
“No need to try,” Tessa said. “I’m already impressed. With both of you.”
He leaned in, curious. “But are you impressed enough? I could tell you all the best stories about him.”
“I assure you I’m impressed enough. But you can still tell me all the best stories about him.” It was her turn to wink.
“I know exactly which one I’ll start with.”
“Grandpa, please. Stop being weird.” I wasn’t ready to admit how enamored I was watching them engage. Admitting that was too close to naming that strange emotion in my chest, that emotion that burned and broadened with every breath in her presence.
“Am I being weird? I thought I was being a gracious host.” He turned back to Tess, angling in as though he wanted to bring her into his confidence. “I’m trying to be on my best behavior. He’s never brought a woman to meet me before.”
Oh, God. “She doesn’t need to know that, Grandpa.”
He whipped around to glare at me. “Of course, she does. If a woman doesn’t know she’s special, she’s less likely to stick around.”
“You’re being a very gracious host,” Tess said. “I feel very welcome.”
“Good. You’re always welcome here. Now I’ll let you two get to whatever it is you need to get to, and I’ll see you at dinner.”
“Napping,” I called after him as he walked away. “We’re literally taking a nap.” When I turned back to Tess, she looked like she was trying to fight back a laugh. “Don’t,” I said. “He’s not as cute as he thinks he is, so don’t say that he is.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Her smile lingered as I led her to the staircase.
My smile, on the other hand, did not. Something was bothering me, an urgency clawing at my insides, and I couldn’t pinpoint the source. The meeting had gone well enough. Grandpa had been embarrassing, but he’d seemed to like her, and she’d seemed to like him. The anxiety weighing down on me with my parents was still there, but nothing had changed to bring it front and center.
So what was it?
We were halfway up the stairs when it hit me, the fear that my grandfather had subtly planted, and as soon as I realized it, I couldn’t not deal with it right away. Couldn’t not share the emotion that was unraveling into words inside of me. Couldn’t not do everything in my power to make sure she stuck around.
“Tessa,” I said, pulling her to a stop beside me. It was on the tip of my tongue. A single exhale would push it out. I want you. I need you. I love...
At the last minute, the words became something else. Something easier to say, though not by much. “You’re special. You know that. Right?”
I could barely breathe as she studied me with serious eyes, taking me in. I wondered what she saw, what my face told her. I prayed she saw the truth in my words because the thought of her not sticking around was devastating.
After what felt like forever, she put her hand up to my cheek, rubbing it along my beard. “Yeah. I think I’m starting to know.”
It wasn’t as good as if she knew without a doubt, but it was enough to allow my breathing to resume.
And now I knew what I had to work on: proving it until she knew for real.
Eleven
Tess
“You’re spoiling me,” I said, watching as a team of caterers set up a table in the middle of the Key West Butterfly and Nature Conservatory. All my senses were piqued. Rushing water and sweet bird sounds hung in the air. The fragrance from the hundreds of lush plants and flowers that filled the spectacular garden tickled my nose. Butterflies of all colors and varieties danced around us. “Seriously spoiling me.”
It wasn’t just a platitude. Scott’s grandfather had lavished me with extravagance. Last night, dinner had been catered lobster out on the veranda, which in itself was decadent, but he hadn’t stopped there. He’d also hired a professional string quartet to play during the meal.
“He did this just for me?” I’d asked, surprised anyone would go to that sort of trouble, let alone a grandfather of a man I’d been officially dating less than a week.
Scott had tried to shrug it off. “He likes to enjoy life. He’ll take any excuse to make a meal an event.”
It may have been normal behavior for the man, but the look Scott had shot Irving said otherwise.
The treatment had continued after the official welcome. This morning, he’d had brunch brought to us on the beach, then followed it up with full body massages by professional masseuses. I’d even gotten a mani-pedi afterward, without having to leave my lounge chair.
Now, tonight, he’d rented out the entire butterfly conservatory for our dinner. He was a rich old man, sure, but the entire conservatory? For the three of us?
“You are spoiling her,�
� Scott agreed in a tone that confirmed he hadn’t had anything to do with it. “That was supposed to be my job.”
Irving narrowed his eyes at his grandson. “Maybe you need to do your job better.”
“You haven’t given me a chance—”
I interrupted Scott’s protest. “You’re both spoiling me.” The bulk of Scott’s spoiling had come in the carnal form. I’d been treated to a full hour of cunnilingus before falling asleep last night and woke up with his head once again between my legs.
Spoiled rotten.
Scott wrapped his arms around me from behind and placed a kiss on my temple. “It’s no less than you deserve.”
Loved it, yes, but deserved it? “I don’t know about that…”
“Uh-uh-uh!” Irving’s eyes went wide as though I’d said something appalling. “Tell her, Scottie.”
I leaned out of my boyfriend’s hold so I could look at him. “Tell me what?”
“‘You get what you expect.’” He recited it in that way that told me it was something he’d been told many times himself.
“That’s right.” Irving nodded. “You get what you expect. Don’t forget it.”
I didn’t know about that. It was a little simplistic for my taste. But I nodded despite being distracted by a colorful bird that swooped so low in front of me I could see its eyes. “Whoa.”
“Maybe you could get him to land on you.” Scott nudged me to lift my arm as a perch.
“No maybes,” Irving scolded. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about. If you think he’ll maybe come and land on you, then maybe he will, maybe he won’t. Expect him to land, and he will.”
He lifted his hand up into the air, and as if on cue, the bird came and settled on his finger.
“Whoa,” I repeated.
Scott wasn’t as impressed. “Okay, Grandpa. What’s the trick?”
Irving chuckled. “No fooling you, is there?” He reached into his pocket with his free hand and pulled out a small handful of seeds, which he held out for the bird to eat. “I come here all the time. Neville and I are old friends. He knew I’d give him the goods if he came to me.”
Neville pecked at the seeds, then when he flew away satisfied, Irving brushed his hands together, letting the rest of the contents of his hand fall to the ground. Another colorful bird flew down to pick at the remains. Then another.
“I expected that,” he said with a smile. “In all seriousness, though. If you approach your life with maybes, then that’s what you’re sure to get. Approach it with sureness. Totally different outcome.”
“Okay,” I said. Because what else was there to say to that?
“Here, let me give you an example. Tell me something you want.”
Scott’s grip around me tightened protectively. “Grandpa, you don’t need to give her a lecture.”
“It’s fine,” I said. Scott squeezed me, then let me go as if to tell me good luck with that and you’re on your own. I took it as a hint to keep things on the lighter side. “Well. I want that bird to land on my finger.”
“Then pick up some of the damn seed, and do what I did. Too easy. Give me something real.”
Scott gave me an I-told-you-so look.
Fine. I’d play for real. After all the older man had done for me over the last day, I could certainly sit through an elder’s lesson. Besides, I’d missed out on male-guided wisdom growing up. Might as well get some now. “Let me think a second.”
“Something important to you,” Irving prodded. “Something you really want.”
What did I want? It had been so long since I’d asked myself that. Usually, I focused on what I could get. What I could do with what was in front of me. What I could hold on to and how long.
But what did I want?
I peered over at Scott, who was watching me intently, seeming just as interested in my answer. I wanted him. I’d wanted him from the minute I’d seen him. So much time I’d spent trying not to have him, I’d barely ever acknowledged that I actually wanted him.
Now I had him, or some of him, and I still wanted him. Wanted more of him. Wanted him for good, or at least long enough to find out whether I really wanted him for good. I couldn’t imagine that more time with him would make me want him any less.
I couldn’t say any of that, though. Not just because it wasn’t the thing to declare for the first time in front of someone’s grandfather, but also because I didn’t know if Scott was ready to hear it from me.
So I turned my thoughts toward my career. And Kendra. Fucked up as it was, I still wanted to work with Conscience Connect. I believed in the organization, and I’d invested my time building it with her. I just wanted her to take me more seriously. Wanted her to give me more equal footing.
“I want to tie up a sponsorship for the Dysautonomia Relief Foundation and impress my boss,” I said. Which maybe was cheating since the DRF was almost all but tied up with SIC, but the key part of the statement was the end—I wanted the deal to impress Kendra. Wanted her to see what I could do on my own and realize how much more I could do with her support.
And most importantly, once the sponsorship was secure, Kendra and Scott would no longer be engaged. “Yeah. That’s what I really want.”
I snuck another peek at Scott and worried I’d said something wrong when I found him frowning.
Irving, on the other hand, beamed. “See, that’s what I’m talking about. I’m guessing you’re already doing the work to land the deal, and now you’re just waiting and hoping things work out?”
“Pretty accurate.” I didn’t look at Scott, afraid he was still glowering, but I wondered about his reaction while I continued to give my attention to Irving.
“Stop hoping,” he said. “Hope isn’t even for the birds. You want to get Neville to land on you, it’s never going to happen by just hoping. Expect to get it. Expect that it’s already signed, sealed, delivered. Say it. Come on. Say it.”
“Uh,” I stumbled, trying to figure out exactly what he wanted me to say. “I expect that I’ll get it.”
Irving rolled his eyes. “Don’t say it like that. Tell me that you’re going to get it in a way that I believe you.”
Okay. I could do this. I took a deep breath, threw back my shoulders. “Hey, Irving. Great things are happening at my job. I’m about to seal up this killer sponsorship, and my boss is going to be so impressed that she’s going to give me a raise. And a promotion. A new title too. She might even make me partner.”
I’d gone too far there, but the rest had been surprisingly invigorating.
“You did good until you said might. Overall, good job, kid.” Irving winked. “I’m sure you’re going to get it. You can give me an update on it when I see you next week.”
“Oh, am I going to see you next week?” I braved a glance at Scott. Did he have another surprise trip planned that I didn’t know about?
“He’s coming to New York for his sister’s birthday,” he said, his expression less tense than it had been. “I’ll bring you to the party.”
“Another chance to attend a Sebastian event? Man, I really am being spoiled.” I sidled up next to Scott, eager to be back in his arms. He welcomed me immediately, dissolving any lingering concern about his earlier frown. He probably just couldn’t understand why I still wanted to work with Kendra. Or maybe just the reference to the woman he was still technically engaged to was enough to put him in a mood.
Or maybe he’d been hoping I would have said I wanted him.
I squeezed him, hoping somehow he understood he was my first choice.
Whoops. There I was hoping again. But try as I might, I couldn’t convince myself that Scott knew how I felt. Not without telling him.
The caterers had finished setting up the serving area, and now one stepped over to acknowledge us. “Twenty minutes, and we’ll be ready for the first course, sir.”
“Great!” Irving turned toward us. “Gives you two lovebirds some time to explore. I’m going to go use the little boy’s room.”
He nudged us down the path that wound through the tropical paradise, then headed off in the opposite direction.
“We won’t see him again tonight,” Scott said, reaching for my hand. “Did you notice the table only had two place settings?”
“That little devil.” I laced my fingers through his and let him lead me down the walkway past a pond occupied by two flamingos to a bridge by a waterfall. It really was a romantic date. Was that what all the spoiling was about? Irving was trying to hook me up with his grandson. “It’s cute. He’s trying to get us together.”
“We are together.” Spoken in true Sebastian fashion, confident and sure.
So maybe he did know how I felt about him. “Well, he seems to think we need some help.”
“I think he’s trying to be sure we stay together.”
“He should just expect we will. Expect it to get it, right?”
“You learn quickly.” He brought my hand up to his mouth and kissed my knuckle, sending a rush of heat through my veins.
Was this what it would be like all the time with him? I’d never dated a man who’d shown any real interest in being together, let alone staying together. So much of it felt new that I didn’t have experience with how these feelings worked long-term.
Would he stick around long enough for me to find out?
Expect he will.
It was so strange saying something so affirmative to myself, I almost laughed. “That’s such a different mindset than what I grew up with. I was taught to manage my expectations. Wonder how different my life would be if I’d been taught what you were.”
With a sigh, Scott stopped abruptly. “Look. It’s not as easy as Grandpa makes it seem. I know that. We’re rich, Tessa. We get what we expect because we can afford it.”
I studied him, appreciating that he could recognize that about himself. “Yeah, there’s privilege there for sure. But maybe that’s why you’re rich. Because of that mindset. It was your grandfather who earned the money, right? Maybe he was able to build what he did because he expected it into being.”
He gave me a skeptical look. “Are you going The Secret on me here?”
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