I nodded. “I’ve moved on. You should, too.”
She brought her gaze back to mine. “You can’t be serious.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, her face so close to mine I could see the confusion shadowing her eyes.
“I’m very serious.” I shifted my weight, standing my ground. “You should go.”
“But we were so good together.”
I’d have been well within my rights to laugh at the audacity of her statement, but I struggled to keep my tone just as soft as hers. “Were. It’s just a shame you figured that out too late, Zoey.” I swallowed down the lump in my throat. “I’ve forgiven you, I really have. But I mean it when I say, there’s no place for you here anymore. Not in this apartment, and not in my heart. Someone else holds that place now, and I hope you can find the same someday.”
I watched as she bit down on her lower lip, and I waited with bated breath to hear what kind of retort she’d come up with. Part of me wondered if her next words would be a threat to keep my son from me.
I never expected her to lean forward and kiss me.
Zoey’s lips pressed against mine just as quickly as her hands snaked around my waist, knocking me off balance. My weight had been on the wrong foot, and as I let go of the doorframe to push her away, it caused me to fall forward, closer to her instead of away.
It lasted only the briefest moment, and my hands were on her upper arms within seconds. I held her away from me, pissed off that her little stunt had allowed her to make it past the threshold. “What the hell, Zoey?” I hissed, my eyes wide in shock. “Did you not hear a damn word I just said?”
“Every one of them,” she confirmed, breathing hard. “But I think you’re making a big mistake.”
This time, I didn’t hold back the hollow laughter, and I let her go, taking a large step back. “That’s where you’re wrong. You made the mistake. Months ago.” I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, not wanting any remnant of her left on my skin. “I’m not going to ask you again, Zoey. I want you to leave. We’re done here.”
She crossed her arms, making every attempt to look defiant. But reality had finally sunk in, and doubt veiled her eyes. “You’re going to regret not—”
“I won’t,” I snapped. “But it’s nice to know you finally figured out what regret is. At least, I’m assuming you have, or else you probably wouldn’t be here now.”
“That’s not fair.” All the fight had gone out of her tone.
“No, it’s not, but neither was the way you left me. You were so convinced there had to be something better out there than me and Tommy, it never occurred to you that the way I loved you and him could actually be enough.”
Zoey’s throat moved as she swallowed, her jaw set in a tight line. “Does she?”
“She?”
“The woman you’re in love with now?” she said flatly. “Does she think your love is enough?”
I stared at her, silent. Then, “Yeah.” I nodded. “Yeah, I think she does. And I’ll do everything I can to make sure it is enough. I won’t make that mistake again.”
I wasn’t sure I meant to say any of those words out loud, but there they were, and I raised my gaze to meet hers. I felt just as deflated as she looked, just as defeated by the entire conversation as she sounded, but no animosity or anger fueled my last words to Zoey—the words I hadn’t had the chance to say when she walked away from me so many months before. “Goodbye, Zoey.”
She stood still as a statue, her intense eyes set on me, her hands clenched tightly at her sides. Her lips parted, and I was certain she was about to resume her feeble argument.
Instead, her features softened, and she gave me a knowing nod.
“Goodbye, Coop.” She retreated without another word, her dark hair fanning out like a train behind her.
***
After that, all I wanted to do was sneak over to Samantha’s apartment and get lost in the little world between those four walls. That was the environment I craved, the one that included her, the smartest and sexiest woman ever to grace me with her presence, and the feisty little boy with a heart of gold and adorable smile.
That’s where I wanted to be. That’s where I wanted Tommy to be. That’s where we both belonged.
But Levi was with Ethan, Tommy was with his mother, and Samantha hadn’t called or texted yet, even though she should’ve been back home by now.
Why we weren’t tangled up in bed together by now was beyond me. The thought of it was enough motivation for me to text her first.
Rumor has it, there’s a pretty lady who lives down the hall, and she should be home by now. Things went okay with Ethan?
The response didn’t come immediately, which had me thinking she wasn’t actually there yet. When it finally buzzed, the response was short and sweet.
I’m home, just busy.
The curt text was like an alarm bell going off in my head. Not once in the past few months had Samantha ever waited two hours to tell me she was busy, especially not on a night when Levi was with his father. Besides, we’d made plans just last night, and she’d seemed to anticipate the impending alone time just as much as I did.
I didn’t text her back, choosing instead to ask her what was wrong face-to-face. I knocked on her door, waiting.
She answered, but she only pulled the door open partway. “Hey.” She sounded distant, and I hadn’t even said anything yet. “I said I was—”
“Busy, I know. What’s wrong?”
Her stiff posture, unimpressed tone of voice, and neutral expression told me all I needed to know, but the doorway held between us...well, that was a barrier between me and her, and I didn’t much care for it.
“Nothing, I just—”
“Something happened. I can see it in your eyes.” She might have been able to lie to me, but only if she was hidden behind the safety net of a text message.
Her eyes gave her away every time.
“I said everything’s fine.”
“You did, and I don’t buy it.”
“I don’t care if you believe me, Cooper.” Her eyes narrowed into slits. “Now, if you’ll excuse—”
I put a hand on the door, intent on pushing it open to widen the space between us, but she pushed back, keeping it firmly in place. “What’s going on, Samantha?”
“You tell me,” she snapped. Then, as though thinking better of it, she shook her head. “Better yet, don’t. I don’t want to do this tonight.”
“Do what?” I exclaimed, my hand still on the door. “I’m pretty sure you don’t want to have a snippy conversation tomorrow morning when I come over to watch Levi, so you’d better fill me in now.”
“Yeah, about Levi...” Her gaze suddenly fell toward the floor. “I’ve found him a spot at a daycare over on Carrington Avenue. He’ll go there during the week now, so you’re off the hook, Cooper. You’re free.”
She may as well have slapped me in the face. Frankly, stabbing me in the fucking chest with a red-hot poker would have hurt less than hearing her explain she was putting an end to my days with Little Man Levi.
“I didn’t ask to be off the hook, Samantha.” I swallowed down the anger, hating that she made it sound like some sort of business transaction between us, and not the beginnings of what could be a family for all of us.
Then, something else occurred to me. “Free of what?” The idea of not having Levi around during the day sounded like the furthest thing from freedom to me.
“Free of us.” Samantha’s jaw clenched. “Free to do whatever you want,” she added. “Or, whoever you want.”
My head snapped up, and I glared at her. Like a tsunami, it hit me. “Is this about Zoey?” I blurted out. “I don’t know what you think you—”
“I know exactly what I saw!” She threw the door open the rest of the way. If she was going to tear into me, she was obviously going to do it with an unobstructed view. “I saw you kissing someone else who looked an awful fucking lot like me, Cooper.”
“Looked like you—what? S
hit, Samantha, no.” I ran my hands through my hair, mentally cursing Zoey for ever showing her face here this morning. “That’s not what it was like at all.”
“So, you didn’t kiss her?”
“She kissed me—”
Samantha slapped me across the face, hard. “I fucking trusted you!” she hissed. “You made me trust you.”
“And you should! Samantha, it wasn’t what you think.”
She pushed me, and I took a large step back into the hallway. “Don’t talk to me like I’m an idiot, Cooper. I should’ve known you were too good to be true. You might be some big hotshot hockey player, but you’re just fucking like him.”
Oh, hell no. “Jesus Christ, Samantha. Forgive me.”
“You want me to forgive—”
I covered her mouth with my hand. “Not for that,” I told her. “For this.” I felt like I was manhandling her, and I was, but I tried to be as gentle as I could as I clamped my hand harder over her mouth and half-guided, half-pushed her back into the apartment, kicking the door closed behind me. The last thing we needed was the nosy damn neighbors with their ears to their doors, listening to us hash this out in the hallway.
In what was meant to be a smooth gesture, I pushed her up against the wall just inside the doorway. She struggled against my every movement, however, and I ungracefully fell against her, my weight pinning her to the wall and my teeth gritting against each other with the exertion I was forcing my injured arm to endure.
Samantha’s wide eyes glared back at me over my hand, still pressed against her mouth, but she’d stopped wriggling, and she wasn’t trying to bite my hand off, so I was making progress.
“I’m sorry,” I said in a low voice. “The hallway was no place for this conversation, and I knew you wouldn’t invite me in.”
Muffled sounds came from behind my hand, and even though I didn’t know for sure what she was trying to say, I guessed it was likely a colorful string of curse words coming from her mouth.
I didn’t care. “Listen to me, Samantha. I know what you think you saw, but I need you to let me explain. Are you going to at least hear me out?”
Her angry eyes blazed, but she nodded slowly. I removed my hand.
“Get off me,” she blurted out immediately.
“Not a chance. And, if my memory serves me correctly, you kind of like it when I’m on you.” I leaned forward, whispering, “I kind of like it, too.”
“You’re an asshole.” But her cheeks were just as fiery as her eyes.
“Sometimes, yeah, I can be. I’ll give you that one.” I paused. “But I can tell you three things right now, Samantha. Listen closely, because you’ll never hear the first thing from me again. Ready? I don’t like to talk ill of other people, but from what you’ve told me, your ex-fiancé is a complete asshole. Me? I’m just an asshole sometimes. There’s a difference. So, believe me when I tell you, I don’t ever want to hear you tell me that I’m just like him again. You and I both know there’s nothing further from the truth.”
Samantha stayed silent, but a sheepishness crept into her eyes. The comment had hurt me, and she regretted it.
“Second, I can guarantee that while you might see me as an asshole sometimes, right now my own ex is out there cursing my name, telling everyone who’ll listen that I’m a complete asshole, and quite possibly planning to use my son as a pawn to exact revenge against me. And why? Because she came here, thought she could bat her eyelashes and I’d take her back in a heartbeat. When that didn’t work, she threw herself at me. I promptly pushed her away, Samantha. Then, I told her about you.” My throat was thick with emotion, consumed by the need for her to know I was telling the truth. “So, yeah, Zoey didn’t get what she wanted, and I’m the bad guy because of it. And you know what? I don’t care what Zoey thinks. It’s you I care about, Samantha. You, Levi, and my little boy are the only ones I give a damn about what you might think of me. You’re the ones I love.”
Samantha stayed quiet long enough that I didn’t think she was going to respond. I could feel the rigidity of her body had lessened, though, so she was calming down a bit. Finally, when she spoke, her voice was quiet, a question meant only for me. “And what’s the third thing, Cooper?”
“The third thing is the most important thing,” I promised her, matching the softness in my voice with hers. “The third thing is that I intend to stay by your side as long as you’ll let me—not in front of you, and not behind you—and I’ll spend every waking moment proving to you that the fact that I’ve fallen in love with you is enough for us to take on this crazy world together. I just need you to trust me.”
Silence stretched between us, and neither of us blinked. I couldn’t read her expression.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered finally.
“It’s okay, I know why—”
“Not for that,” she said, her voice stronger now. “For this.” She craned her neck forward and kissed me, hard enough that I didn’t remember releasing her from against the wall. When I finally pulled away, though, she was in my arms, and I held her to me as though she was a lifeline.
“We really need to talk about what kind of things require apologies,” I chuckled in her ear. “Kissing me is definitely not one of them.”
I saw the hint of a smile on her lips before she tucked her head under my chin, leaning against my chest. “I shouldn’t have accused you of those things and then turned around and kissed you like that. It’s not fair.”
“Define fair,” I smirked. “Because I kind of like how it ended.”
“I’m still sorry.” Samantha raised her head, her arms locked securely around me. “And who says that’s the end?”
I arched a brow. “Hmm, the kiss isn’t the end? If kissing equates to requiring an apology, then I might have to take up going to confession if you’re thinking what I’m thinking.”
Samantha was already pulling me toward the hallway, a devilish glint in her eye.
I let her. If this was how she wanted to make up, only a foolish man would begrudge her such a desire.
“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned...” I muttered playfully, just before I slammed the bedroom door behind us.
A moan slipped out of her mouth as I lowered my head and nibbled on the soft flesh of her neck and shoulder. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, stifling another groan of pleasure.
The simple gesture caused my cock to stiffen and press against the seam of my jeans. Gripping her sides, I let my fingers tease their way up her shirt. Within seconds, I couldn’t contain the beast that clawed at the cage inside me, and I ripped her shirt over her head, my eyes fixated on her breasts covered in a black lace bra. She pulled away and ran from me, an attempt to tease me as though we played a game of cat and mouse. Her eyes burned brightly with desire, and the gaze she pinned me with singed the surface of my body, even from the other side of the room.
Tearing my own shirt over my head, I tossed it to the side, not breaking eye contact with her. I could tell by the hunger in her eyes that emulated mine, she was doing everything in her power to restrain herself from running back over to me.
I slowly crossed the room, stalking her, and she backed herself against the wall. The magnetic pull between our bodies brought us closer, the flame igniting between us in an instant.
My mouth found hers, and our tongues were caught in a frenzy before she pulled herself away and began to lower herself to her knees, kissing down my chest to the waistband of my jeans, lighting a trail of fire against my skin as she went. Her fingers fumbled with the button of my jeans and the zipper.
As badly as I wanted her lips around my length, I couldn’t let her do it. I wanted to please her, I needed to please her. I wanted to prove to her that she was the only woman on my mind, no one else.
“No.” I growled as I laced my fingers in her auburn hair. I tugged gently, but the movement still caused a gasp to emit from her lips. I tilted her head back by her hair, forcing her to look up at me.
“But I want�
��” She began to plead, but I cut her off.
“I said no.” I lifted her up and stood her back on her feet, disappointment filling her eyes.
Without hesitation, I tore her pants from her body and picked her up by her hips. She laced her legs around my waist and I could feel the heat emanating from her core. I sat her down on the bed, towering over her. The desire in her eyes burned brightly, hotly. My fingertip teased the strap of her bra and plucked it from her shoulder, then I traced her collarbone and down her breast, up over her other breast, across her collarbone, and pulled down her other strap. She reached behind her back and unclasped her bra, baring her full breasts before me.
It took everything in me to keep my gaze focused on her eyes. I leaned my head down and our lips crashed together once more. She nipped at my bottom lip and a groan escaped my throat.
This time, I pulled away. With my right palm placed in the middle of her chest, I gently pushed her back onto the bed and let my hand travel down her torso. With both hands, I gripped her panties and tugged them from her hips, sliding the lacy fabric down her legs. Her wetness glistened in the dim light of the room and my appetite for her grew to unbearable strength.
My mouth was watering as I lowered myself between her legs. Planting kiss after kiss on her inner thigh, slowly making my way to her warm center, I savored every inch of her sweet skin. My tongue finally reached its destination, and her legs twitched the moment my mouth met her sensitive nub. Flicking my tongue, kissing and nibbling at her sweet folds until her thighs clenched tightly and she cried out as she found her release against my mouth.
Her legs relaxed. I stood and removed my jeans and boxers, kicking them away from me. I kneeled on the bed and towered over her, my forearms on either side of her shoulders. Her fingertips traced up my arms and she suddenly squeezed them as my erection pressed into the warmth between her legs.
I thrust into her, and a deep moan of pleasure broke free from her throat. She gripped my arms, clawing at me blindly with her fingernails. Thrust after thrust, she wriggled beneath me in satisfaction as her slick channel clenched around my cock.
Defensive Daddy: A Bad Boy Hockey Romance Page 8