by T Gephart
“Well Mom, so we have an interesting story.”
“Oh?” she asked, collecting her juice and taking a sip. “Is everything okay? You’re not in any trouble at work, are you?”
“No, nothing like that. We’re just not sure how you’re going to take it.” His eyes glanced over at me in what was the biggest tell of all mankind.
She lowered her glass and looked at him with that momvision that all mothers seemed to possess. Then her eyes moved to me, not sparing me of their scrutiny as she scanned.
“Alex, Maya, I may be old, but I know how things work.” She shook her head, giving us a tight smile. “And as long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”
My heart raced, pole-vaulting in my chest as I breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh thank God,” I whispered under my breath and reached for Alex’s hand. “We are very, very happy.”
She beamed at us both proudly. “Well good. It’s still early days, but I’m sure you’re going to make great parents.”
WHAT.
THE.
FUCK.
DID.
SHE.
JUST.
SAY.
“Um, what?” I looked at Alex confused, releasing his hand like it had caught fire. “No. No. No I’m not.”
“Are you sure?” Kate’s brow arched, looking like she knew something I didn’t.
“Mom, we’ve only been dating for a couple of weeks. There’s no way Maya’s pregnant.” Alex laughed nervously, and I wondered if he was doing mental calculations in his head like I was to see if it was a possibility.
I mean, sure we’d used protection and it wasn’t always a hundred percent effective. But even if I were pregnant, there was no way I’d even know yet. No skipped periods, no magical signs. And yet, even though I knew the chances were virtually zero, I wanted to run out and get a pregnancy test just to be sure. On the remote chance that Kate Larsson could sniff out an elevated hCG like a human EPT.
I went to Yale, people. YALE.
“Well, okay then.” She smiled at us unconvinced. “Just to be sure, brunch is high in protein and folic acid. The first trimester is extremely important.”
“Oh my God.” My throat constricted, trying hard to breathe.
I was pregnant and didn’t know it. She was able to look into my uterus with that momvision and see a tiny Larsson. How the hell could it happen? We’d been so careful.
“Maya.” Alex looked at me concerned, probably because I was turning blue. Asphyxiation probably wasn’t good for the baby but there wasn’t a lot I could do. “Mom, we’re not pregnant. We were just trying to tell you that we’re in love with each other.”
Kate laughed, shaking her head at both of us. “Son, it might be news to you, but it isn’t to me. Of course you’re in love with each other. I saw it the first time you came to the house. Look at the two of you, pretending like it wasn’t a thing.” She chuckled to herself, amused. So that’s where Roman got it from, interesting.
“But if you keep kissing her like you did in that picture, you will get her pregnant.” She playfully clipped her son over the head.
“You saw that?” I asked, still not sure if I understood what was happening.
“I think most of the country saw it, sweetheart.” She gave me a warm smile. “Alex isn’t the first of my children to be featured online kissing a woman. I just think the whole thing is hilarious and that you made this big show of coming to tell me. I am flattered that you think so highly of my opinion. And I meant what I said, I am genuinely happy for both of you.”
“So this whole thing is a joke?” Alex narrowed his eyes at his mother, trying to hide the smile.
She shrugged innocently like she hadn’t stressed me the hell out. “Don’t be angry at your mother, Alex. I gave you life. Besides, I think it’s only fair since you’ve been helping yourself to my wine collection.” Her pointed look directed at Alex.
“You knew about that too?” Alex’s eyes widened as she laughed.
Kate looked at us both, giving us a smirk. “Sweetheart, I know about everything. Maybe next time we can save the theatrics and save your brothers from having to make up excuses. You know how much I love having a full house and I miss my grandbabies.”
Well, at least it was now all out in the open. As out in the open as sharing a picture with millions of people would make it at least. And with a huge sigh of relief, we ate our “pregnancy friendly” brunch, and I reminded myself that unprotected sex probably wouldn’t be a good idea moving forward.
Alex leaned into me as we finished eating, a devilish smile playing on his lips. “I’ll help with dishes and distract her while you sneak the bottle of wine into the cellar. She might think she knows everything, but she sure won’t see that coming.”
And with my mission clear, I excused myself to go to the bathroom.
Alex may have been discovered, but I’d spent years flying under the radar.
THE WEEKEND HAD BEEN PERFECT.
Astrid called us both to apologize, and I assured her that while I wasn’t pleased about being publically outed, I was no longer angry. I didn’t think the two of us were going to be close friends anytime soon, but I saw in a lot of ways we were a lot alike. Obviously not in looks or temperament, but in that we both moved away from our families and were trying to make it work. Neither of us had been alone, but it didn’t mean that we hadn’t been lonely.
So with all of that put behind us, I felt like it was time to jump another hurdle. Because clearly I just couldn’t allow myself to be blissfully happy for twenty-four hours.
“Have you turned down the job offer yet?”
It was late Sunday night and we were lying on Alex’s couch after dinner. Just casually relaxing, with no real worry. Which is exactly why I had to bring it up. Sometimes, I literally hated myself.
“You worried I’m going to change my mind?” He laughed as his hand strummed my back.
I shuffled up to face him. “No, but are you sure this is what you want to do? I know you said you wouldn’t hate me or regret your decision. But have you really thought about what turning it down would mean for your career?”
He rolled his eyes, probably wondering—like I was—why I wouldn’t leave it the hell alone. He said he was staying. Why couldn’t I be happy with that? “Maya, it might take me a couple more years but I can achieve everything I could have in New York, right here.”
“Have you called them yet?” I asked, ignoring his attempt to placate me.
He shuffled up too, knowing it wasn’t going to be a three-minute conversation. “I was going to call tomorrow. Initially, I was going to fly to New York to turn down their offer since they flew to California to offer it to me. It seemed like the right thing to do and I just wanted to shake their hand, and assure them that the timing wasn’t right but I was thankful for the opportunity. But it seems like over-kill, flying all the way over there just to say no.”
Alex—like all of his brothers—had an extremely high level of personal integrity. It was something I’d always admired and a quality I fiercely shared. Which was why he wanted to turn down the offer face to face. It’s exactly what I would have done, making sure I didn’t burn any bridges I might have to cross one day. So I had my own suspicions on why he had the change of heart.
“Are you worried that when you get there they might try and change your mind? Or that if you see the firm, you might have second thoughts?”
He blew out a breath of frustration. “Maya—”
“No, wait. Just hear me out.” My hand went to his arm stopping him from continuing. “When I was growing up, I thought I had the most perfect life. Honestly, it’s stuff Hallmark movies are made of. But in a second, it all changed and the rug was pulled out from under us. I know I haven’t spoken much about it, but like it or not, it’s changed me and how I see the world. I can’t be blindly optimistic anymore. I wish I could be, and as much as I know you have the best intentions. I have to ask questions. It’s what makes me a good lawyer. And it’s not a
bout not trusting you, it’s about believing enough in myself that my opinion has value. That I’m allowed to test a theory, and even if I’m wrong, you’ll still love me. My mom never once questioned my dad, believing he had our best interests at heart. And as much as you aren’t him, I am not her either.”
He blinked, probably expecting an evening of mindless television followed by some hot and heavy making out. I had a bad habit of not keeping my hands to myself and he didn’t seem to have a problem with it. Instead, he got a philosophical debate without a hand job. But if I’d been in his shoes, I knew it wouldn’t have been an easy decision. Hell, he’d asked me to go with him and I had turned him down. Not because he loved me more, but because I knew our relationship had to be built on more than just love.
“So what are you suggesting? Because Maya, I know you sure as hell aren’t breaking up with me,” he warned.
“No, I am not breaking up with you.” I shoved him playfully. “But I think you should go. See it with your own eyes and if you decide to turn it down, I will never bring it up again. But if you’re there and you decide that you want it, I promise you we’ll make it work. I don’t want you to have to choose, Alex.”
“Make it work how? See each other on weekends and holidays?” he scoffed in disbelief. “Maya, it’s a five-hour flight. The time difference, the jet lag, how long you think that is going to last?”
“It will if we want it to,” I assured him, knowing that as difficult as it would be, it would be worth it. “Maybe in a couple of years, things change all the time. Maybe a firm out here will try and poach you back or maybe I’ll get an impressive offer of my own out there.”
“Do you want me to leave?” He narrowed his eyes, probing me with each word. “Are you worried this isn’t going to work out and think it’s just easier if you don’t have to try?”
“No,” I shot back. “I want you to stay. I want you to stay so badly it scares me.” I grabbed his hand, needing for him to believe me.
“Then why are we fighting about this?” He asked the very same questions I asked myself.
“Because you said it yourself. You would have gotten on that plane and shook their hand to turn them down, and the reason you aren’t now concerns me.”
He opened his mouth like he was about to say something and then stopped. He couldn’t argue with something he’d already admitted to me, which meant he knew I had to at least been partially right.
“Just go see them. Go see your brother and his family for a day or two, I promise you I’ll be here when you get back,” I offered, hoping Eric being in Brooklyn might sweeten the deal.
“I won’t change my mind, Maya. Promise me this isn’t some bullshit excuse because you’re scared.”
“I’m terrified.” I laughed. “The idea of losing you is more than I can stand, but I promise you, that I’m not pushing you away.”
I meant it too. Knowing that it would be easy for me to reconcile our breakup by him moving away rather than any failing on either of our parts. That I loved him so much I couldn’t imagine my life without him. And what would that mean if we did eventually break up? But it wasn’t an act of sabotage, and if he chose New York, I would do whatever I could to maintain the relationship. I’d fight to the death for it. Because we might have only been “dating” a few weeks, but I’d had him in my heart for years and there was no way I’d lose my best friend again.
He nodded, reluctantly agreeing. “I’ll see if I can leave Wednesday, so I can be back in time for the weekend.”
“Good.” I put my arms around him and leaned my head against his chest. “I’ll be here when you get back.”
I thought Alex’s trip would hang over us like a dark cloud, but it didn’t. He agreed that declining the offer in person was the right thing to do given how big and generous it had been. And I felt like when he came back it would be for the right reasons. There were no guarantees either way, but I knew we’d survive it.
Leah and I were still working our case, putting in long hours as we mounted our response. It was exciting work but time consuming, which meant when I did see Alex, all I wanted to do was eat dinner and then fall into bed. Half the time we ate in bed, capitalizing on our time together as I refused to become distant. We even did our usual Monday night at the legal clinic, staying there until they kicked us out and promising to go back again in a couple of weeks.
And my heart was full.
The day of his departure, I kissed him goodbye in the morning and he caught a cab to the airport. He very generously let me use his car while he was gone, and I loved the feeling of driving again.
“Alex left?” Mike asked as I strolled in.
I nodded, handing out coffees I’d picked up since I had extra time. “Yep, he had an early morning flight to JFK. He should be back Friday night or Saturday morning.”
“You need a ride?” Stefan asked, the two of them careful not to coddle me.
“Nope.” I waved his key fob. “He’s letting me drive his car. Crazy because I might not give it back when he returns.”
Stefan smirked, taking a sip of his coffee. “You could argue abandonment. Squatter’s rights? I’d be happy to be your second chair.”
“Thanks, I’ll check out precedent on my lunch break and we can discuss strategy.” I laughed, checking the time and knowing Leah would be in at any moment.
Stefan shook his head. “Oh no, we are going out and taking a proper break today, Maya. Now Leah has you working that case, you haven’t put enough hours into the trio. Mike checked the bylaws, and you are required to give us at least an hour of your time or you forfeit your position.”
“And there is a new associate coming in next week who’s a transfer from Minneapolis.” Mike grimaced.
“You boys are such snobs.” I laughed. “But lunch isn’t going to happen, how’s dinner sound? I’ll even go to that horrible sports bar you guys love.” Actually excited about going out to dinner and not sitting at my apartment by myself.
“That horrible sports bar has amazing food,” Mike argued.
“Whatever, clock is ticking and you need to make your choice. Dinner or rain check.” I tapped my non-existent watch as Leah breezed in through the door.
Stefan nodded his hello to her before turning back to me. “Fine, dinner. And no reneging.”
“Not a chance,” I said as I waved goodbye.
Leah pointed me toward her conference room as she went into her office. I figured I’d get set up, arranging the files we’d worked on last time on the boardroom table and strategically put my phone where I could see it.
It was on silent, but I wanted to be able to see when Alex landed. It might only be for a couple of days, but I was still going to miss him.
“Hey Maya, change of plans.” Leah came in and smiled. “I’m going to need for you to go on the road and do some digging. Our client maintains that a memo was circulated by the company alluding that the airbags were faulty in May but didn’t issue a recall until September. And of course, the only memo released in discovery is the mention of the recall.”
“Does she have a physical copy?” I asked, knowing if there was one, she wouldn’t be asking me to dig.
“Nope and the five people in the email chain have denied its existence as well. I still plan to question them when we take the deposition, but if we can get information from the importer, we might get a clearer idea if they knew or didn’t.”
I looked at my watch, it was nine a.m. and gridlock on the road. “It will probably take me at least a hour to get there, maybe an hour or more to get back. That’s not even taking in question time. Are you okay with losing me for that long?”
“Take as long as you need. Check out the warehouse, talk to the person at the front desk, be personable.” She smiled. “Most of these things were made in China and only assembled here, but something tells me if someone is going to take a risk, it’s a big corporation and not a struggling import business.”
“On it.” I grabbed my phone and started
to pack up the files.
“No, leave it.” Leah shook her head. “I’m going to have Stefan do some fact checking for me today.”
“Stefan?” I raised a brow, surprised.
Leah laughed. “Don’t worry, you’re not being replaced. Just get me what we need. Take the day, if you finish early then go home and spend some quality time with that hot boyfriend of yours. We’ll go over findings tomorrow.”
I stopped short of telling her my hot boyfriend was on the other side of the country, instead thanking her and grabbing my things.
“You’re leaving?” Mike looked up from his desk.
“Yep, I’m on assignment.” I winked. “Stefan is taking my place for the day and before you worry, I’ll meet you both tonight for dinner. I’ll call when I leave my apartment in case I’m running late.”
“Short of a kidnapping, you better be there,” he warned, waving me off out the door.
I bundled up my bags and grabbed the keys for the car. “Cross my heart.”
Stefan passed me in the hall also surprised to see me leave. “We sneaking out?”
“No, you’re staying and don’t mess up my files,” I warned, waiting by the elevator.
“Your files? Have I been summoned?” He held his hands up dramatically to his chest.
I waved, pressing the call button and waiting for the car to arrive. “Yes. You can tell me all about it tonight.”
The i8 drove like a dream, and while I wasn’t able to discover the missing memo, I was able to find out who the direct supplier was from China and an email from them advising to check their stock as there may have been a quality issue as early as March of the year in question. It wasn’t a smoking gun and didn’t admit fault, but it would strengthen our case.
Rather than going back to the office with mediocre news, I decided to take the rest of the day off and hope I was able to talk to Alex.
He’d texted earlier to let me know he’d landed but didn’t have his meeting with the firm until tomorrow. So he was going to take the day, hang out with Eric and possibly play tourist for the afternoon. He also mentioned that he left a set of keys to his house inside the glove compartment and to feel free to use them if I felt the need to do any laundry.