#1 Love

by T Gephart

  Roman nodded as I took a seat. “Okay, Stefan, tell us what you’ve got.”

  “While I haven’t been able to get the details of her interview, I can tell you that Dina and her public defender are talking to the DA about cutting a deal.”

  “Well that’s not really a surprise,” Roman deadpanned as he sifted through papers on his desk. “What else have you got?”

  Stefan pulled out a note pad and dumped it on the table. “Halle Washington, Dina and Glenn’s daughter. She’s living in Portland, Oregon with Dina’s parents and has been in their custody since she was three.”

  The room was still, no one speaking as Roman nodded for him to go on. “She got really sick and I guess Dina couldn’t get her the care she needed so brought the kid to her parents. Her folks took Halle to the hospital and promised they wouldn’t call the cops if Dina turned herself in. She declined, disappearing from the hospital sometime through the night and there’s been no contact since. Grandparents filed for guardianship based on abandonment. Neither Dina nor Glenn have any parental rights and Dina’s parents intend to keep it that way. Halle doesn’t remember either of them.”

  “And you know this how?” Roman leaned forward in his chair, asking what we were all thinking.

  “Trust me, you don’t want to know.” Stefan coughed into his hand, eluding that maybe he’d gotten information that wasn’t legal.

  Roman nodded, the understanding passing between them. “You’re right, I don’t. Good work. Any leads on the location of Glenn Zaveri or what he might have?”

  “Nothing yet. No location and not sure what he might have on Alex or Maya but Mike is helping me go through any possibilities. We figure it might be easier since we know both of them and can get a list of associations, friends, things like that from an interview rather than spending hours on investigation. Then we can see if something doesn’t stand out.”

  “Maya, sit with them and give them everything you can. Any people you’ve met recently or any interaction that might have seemed suspect, and let’s not rule out prior relationships too. Lists of friends, boyfriends, nail woman who you see at the mall—anyone who you would have had more than a casual conversation.”

  “I’m assuming you’ll want to interview me too?” Alex stood at the door, his face completely unreadable.

  All eyes connected with me before moving to him, but Roman was the first one to speak. “Alex, back from New York. Take it the meeting went well?”

  Only Roman could carry on a normal conversation when the rest of us were at Defcon 1.

  Alex—clearly possessing the same ability—volleyed back without missing a beat. “It went great, I accepted the position. Moving there next month and looks like I’m going to need a change.”

  Every single word pierced my heart like a dagger. He was mad, and I understood that, but he was very publically taking a swing. At me? At the situation? At his brother for not breaking privilege and telling him anyway? Who knew, but he was hurt and he wanted to hurt back.

  I felt the weight of Mike and Stefan’s stares, probably wondering if Alex and I were even still together. And to be honest, I had no idea myself.

  “Good, why doesn’t Mike interview you and Stefan can take Maya. There are a few conference rooms down the hall that are vacant, have my assistant show you the way,” Roman directed, not reacting at all to Alex’s little dig.

  Mike and Alex left first, the tension in the room so heavy that it was hard to breathe.

  “I take it you told him and it didn’t go well.” Roman stopped me at the door before leaving with Stefan.

  I shook my head, not going well the understatement of the century. “No, probably compounded by the fact I only told him because he caught me trying to keep it a secret.”

  “Yeah, not great circumstances.” Roman grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m probably not the best one to ask. But seriously, if it’s something you want to fight for, then fight. He’ll come around.”

  I nodded, finding it harder not to cry. “Thanks. Come on Stefan, let’s do this.”

  Blinking back tears, we walked to a conference room at the end of the hall. Thankfully the rooms weren’t glass, giving me some privacy while I named everyone I could think of who had been more than a passing acquaintance. Any membership I had, any blog post I followed and freaking page I might have liked on social media, down to the men who had been in my life. That part didn’t take long; it was a very short list.

  “Okay, well I’ll comb through the list and see if we get any hits in public records. See if any of these people have a connection to your dad in any way or the company he used to work for.” Stefan tapped on his laptop, working as he spoke. “Mike will do the same thing with Alex, maybe we’ll get lucky.”

  Luck wasn’t something I put a lot of faith in. Anything I’d ever achieved hadn’t come about by luck, and I didn’t expect that to change.

  We walked back to Roman’s office, who was on the phone calling in a few favors. His wife, Lauren, had a friend who worked for the DA, working that angle as well as trying some other backend channels.

  Alex walked in shortly after, his face no more emotive than when he left, but Mike wasn’t with him. “Mike’s in the conference room, he wants to compare notes.” He tipped his head to Stefan who quickly scurried past him.

  And then there were three.

  Roman.

  Alex.

  And me.

  “I’m going to go and check in on my mom and brothers.” I thumbed over my shoulder to the door, looking for my escape. “Not sure if any of it is going to hit the media, and I’d rather they hear it from me.”

  Alex’s eyes darkened. “Yeah, we wouldn’t want that.”

  Roman rolled his eyes. “Why don’t you get out of here too? I’m going to tie up some loose ends with the boys and then head home myself.”

  “I’d rather stay.” Alex strode to a chair near Roman’s desk and took a seat.

  Well then.

  I was not going to cry.

  “I’ll call you if I get anything else from my mom or brothers.” I directed my conversation to Roman, ignoring Alex like he was ignoring me. “And check in with you in the morning.”

  Roman nodded, handing me a card and scribbling a number on it. “Those are both mine and Lauren’s personal numbers. You need anything, call.”

  “Thanks.” I shoved the card into my pocket. “Bye.”

  It was a general goodbye, spoken to the room but only one of the other occupants acknowledged it. Not wanting to punish myself further, I turned and left the office, closing the door behind me as I stepped into the hall.

  While most of the rooms had been empty when I arrived, there were even fewer lights on as Roman’s assistant escorted me to the elevator.

  “Wait.” Alex jogged to the elevator. “I’ll give you a ride home.”

  I was positive he hadn’t had a change of heart; his offer to drive me home more likely a very strongly worded suggestion from his brother. “Thanks, but I’m fine. I’m sure you have a lot to talk to Roman about for your upcoming move.”

  There were two things I didn’t want from anyone, especially not Alex. Pity was one, and obligation was the other, and at that moment, I felt like he was giving me both.

  “It can wait.”

  As the elevator door opened, he stepped inside, giving me the choice to either get in there with him or keep Roman’s assistant waiting while I acted like a child. I strode in, pressing the button for the ground floor, watching as the metal doors closed.

  “You can tell Roman you drove me, but I’ll find my own way home.” I lifted my eyes to his.

  “Sorry, Maya.” His gaze didn’t falter. “But I’m not into lying to the people I care about.”

  “And I’m not getting into the car with you, so it seems like we’ve reached a stalemate.” I put my hand on my hips.

  He blew out a frustrated breath, raking his hands through his hair. “You’re so fucking frustrating.”

 
“Add it to the list of my defects,” I fired back. “And you’re not exactly my favorite person either right now.”

  The icy blue pools of his eyes filled with inky black as he moved closer. “Really? And why would that be? Did you expect me to be ecstatic my girlfriend was keeping things from me? Or that my own brother knew more about it than I did?”

  My heartbeat quickened, his body so close we were almost touching. “He was my attorney.” The words strangled by my clenched jaw.

  “And I was your fucking boyfriend.”

  Was.

  Past tense.

  And whether that was the tense he’d meant to choose, it spoke volumes that he didn’t correct it.

  “Well, lucky for you, you don’t have to worry about that anymore.” My voice didn’t waver, pulling strength I didn’t know I had up from the depths of my toes just to get through it.

  Like a miracle, the doors opened, allowing me to walk out. Before I could get very far, he grabbed my arm. “I’m always going to worry, whether you like it or not. And I know you don’t like being told what to do, but I am driving you home. I’ll even let you hate me for it, something you can add to my list of defects.”

  “Fuck you, Alex,” I cursed under my breath, my hands balling into fists. And not because I hated him like he assumed, but because I still loved him.

  He raised an eyebrow and then pointed to the exit. “Car is this way.”

  We walked to the car, got in and drove to my apartment without so much as a word between us. I kept my eyes glued to the road outside of his windshield and ignored the sideways glances I felt him throw my way. He wanted to play knight in shining armor and deliver me safe and sound—fine. But I wasn’t going to play nice and make conversation like a good girl either.

  Fuck.

  That.

  Instead, when we got to my apartment building, I barely gave him a chance to put the car into park before leaping out of the door and telling him goodbye.

  I didn’t look back.

  Made it all the way to my front door.

  And it wasn’t until I heard his car drive away that I allowed myself to cry.

  MY FIRM HAD GENEROUSLY ACCEPTED my request for some personal leave, so I didn’t go in, spending my Friday and my weekend in my apartment as I fielded phone calls.

  The FBI weren’t being forthcoming with information—there was a surprise, eye roll—but while I wasn’t being charged with anything, the threat my father had issued hung over my head.

  I had no idea what would happen or when, or if it was just his parting gift to me, to leave me in a shitty state of limbo for the rest of my life.

  My mother had threatened to get on the next plane to L.A., only stopped from booking her ticket by my brother, Jordon, who told her she’d only make things worse. As hard as it was for me, it would be doubly hard for her. She’d gone through hell once already, and if there was any way we could protect her from that again, we would. I promised I would keep her posted, not leaving anything out, and instead Jordon would come, refusing to listen to reason that I was fine.

  He arrived Friday afternoon and hugged me so hard at the airport I thought my insides were going to explode. And as much as I thought I was okay on my own, it was really good to have my big brother around.

  “You know you are too good for him, right?” Jordon tried—and failed—at making me feel better because I hadn’t heard from Alex.

  I’d spoken to Roman like five times a day, and even his other brothers had called to check in. But Alex—not a peep.

  To be fair, I hadn’t called him either so I guess I was partially to blame. He might have taken my dramatic goodbye at the car to mean I didn’t want to hear from him, so maybe he was just trying to respect my wishes. Either way, I was annoyed at the lack of contact, and frustrated that Roman, Stefan and Mike had found nothing of substance.

  I lolled my head to the side from the couch, looking at my brother burning nachos in the kitchen. “Isn’t it a little embarrassing for someone who can perform surgery to be unable to cook the basics?”

  “I may not be able to cook, but I also don’t get sidetracked by your tactics.” He waved a dishcloth in the air trying to disperse the smoke before the alarm went off. “You know, I could talk to him.”

  “God, please don’t,” I groaned, hiding my face with a pillow.

  Too many people were already involved, I did not need my brother—who currently didn’t possess the ability to be impartial—to go have a chat with Alex.

  I felt him sit beside me, his efforts in the kitchen abandoned. “Well since no one can locate our father, I can’t kill him, so I need something to do.”

  It had been tough for my brothers and mother when I’d told them Dad had resurfaced. The silence on the other end of the phone when I was used to kindhearted teasing, shattered what was left of my heart. But as much as I wanted to protect them, I couldn’t keep it from them. I’d tried that with someone else I loved, and it hadn’t worked out so well for me.

  And I got it, I really did.

  Not sure I would be so pleased with someone trying to “protect” me. Which was why moving forward I was going to let everyone make their own decisions on what they wanted to know.

  “I really appreciate you coming out here, Jordon.” I reached across and gave him a hug. “I know you’re busy with work and the kids.”

  He squeezed me, giving me a hug that only a big brother could. “I’d do anything for you, short stuff. Besides, it gave me the first few nights of uninterrupted sleep in a long time.”

  “You should have a chat with Roman.” I laughed.

  “I have. We’re going to try and get together after all of this . . .” My brother searched for the words. “Is resolved. As much as I’d love to stay, I need to get back to the hospital.”

  I knew it was a flying visit, but the reality that in a few hours I’d be alone again, was hard to take. Ben had said he’d come stay for a little, and I’d even gotten similar offers from Jackie and Lisa. But I had no idea how long it would go on. I could literally spend the rest of my life waiting for something—or someone—to burst from the shadows and try to hurt me, and I wasn’t going to give that man the power anymore.

  So, Monday morning after the cab came to take Jordon to the airport and I waved him goodbye, I decided to call Roman—who surely must be getting sick of hearing from me—and ask him about the files which I’d gone through myself.

  “Maya, I get you’re frustrated, but I don’t have anything new for you. I’ve got my investigator on it, but it takes time.”

  God, I was tired of waiting.

  “I understand that, but while Astrid’s photo of Alex and I might have been the catalyst for all of this, I haven’t exactly been living off grid for all these years. He could have found me, through my college registration, through voter records, hell, he could have Googled me and he would have gotten a hit. Something prompted him to take the risk now, I feel like it’s right there, staring us right in the face.”

  Maybe it was my connection with Alex, and his belief I had access to money. Or maybe it was something else.

  “What are you thinking?”

  “I don’t know . . .” I tried to search for something, anything that would give me a clue. “But it’s not something your investigator is going to find.” Because my additional information had been so helpful.

  “Well, if you think of something, give me a call. Until then, we’ll keep doing what we’re doing. He hasn’t made any further contact and it’s coming up to a week, so maybe it’s all smoke. Meanwhile, Dina has been given immunity in return for information. I think she’s hoping she might be able to regain custody of her daughter too which has a slim to none chance of happening.”

  “Has she told them where he is?” I held my breath waiting for the answer.

  Roman blew out a breath of frustration. “Not something the FBI or the DA is willing to share but I get the feeling she doesn’t know.”

  My brow scrunched in confusi
on. “How the hell can she not know, wasn’t she with him?”

  “I don’t know, just a feeling. Anyway, hopefully we can find out more through the week.” He paused. “Have you spoken to Alex?”

  Really? I fought the urge not to glare into the phone.

  “You know I haven’t spoken to him, Roman.”

  He chuckled. “Yeah, well I’m still hoping one of you comes to your senses.”

  “He’s leaving, there’s not much point,” I offered, knowing that even if I could speak to Alex, I highly doubted it would change anything.

  “This shit was easier when you were both kids and we could put you in a room until you worked things out.”

  “We didn’t fight when we were kids,” I reminded him.

  “Are you kidding me?” Roman laughed. “You must have selective memory because I can think of at least two times you weren’t speaking to each other. Once when you tried to flush that fucking Ninja Turtle down the toilet, and two when you went out with that guy, Chris. Oh, and let’s not forget—”

  “What are you talking about?” I cut Roman off, confused about the argument that hadn’t happened. “I dated Chris when I was sixteen, it was right before I left. We weren’t fighting.”

  Chris had been one of Alex’s friends and the boy who had taken my virginity. It hadn’t been terrible, and Chris had been a nice guy, but even if I’d stayed I doubt it would have lasted. Especially since I hadn’t given him a second thought once we’d moved to Nevada, and I’d cried about missing Alex every night.

  “Then why the hell was he acting like a moody prick and slamming doors, avoiding you the whole time?”

  It was amazing how you could freeze a single memory from the past and for that memory to have been distorted. How in all those years I’d always seen our friendship as perfect, and failed to remember us ever fighting. Or that Alex hadn’t spoken to me for a week after I’d slept with Chris. And was more detached there after.

  Back then I’d assumed it was because Chris had been his friend, and he didn’t want to be put in the middle if things went bad. But when I’d been forced to move away, none of that mattered, and somehow that painful memory of us not talking had been banished.