When a week had come and gone, I knew I needed to start preparing for my unemployment, so I walked to the Trinity Building, passed the elevators, and approached the office in the rear. Cleo was at her desk, so I happened to catch her at a good time.
She looked at me. Looked away. And then abruptly looked at me again. “Sicily, what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be with Dex?”
“He went on his own. I decided to stay behind.” I pulled up a chair beside her, and thankfully, no one else was around so we could speak in private.
She gave a nod. “It’s understandable. It’s a different world over there, and anyone would feel a little unsure about going.”
Everyone’s first assumption was fear, but I wasn’t scared of anything, let alone going to a beautiful country I would probably never see otherwise. “It’s not that. I just thought it was the right time for Dex and me to go our separate ways.”
Now she looked at me like she didn’t understand my meaning at all.
“I broke it off with him. I hired him a replacement, and I’m training her now. I know this is a little weird, but…I was wondering if I could have my old job back.”
Cleo’s bewilderment slowly faded away. “I hope this isn’t because of what we talked about a couple nights ago.”
I gave a nod.
“Sicily.” Her eyes fell with sadness. “I get what you’re trying to do, but I don’t agree with it.”
“Catherine stopped by the office and…made me realize I’m a wedge between them.”
Like a lit match, her attitude immediately shifted to annoyance. “Well, it wasn’t her place to say something like that.”
“But it’s true. If it weren’t for me, they would be together—”
“And thank god for that. You think I want that selfish woman for my son? Absolutely not. I want my son to have a woman who truly loves him—and that’s you.”
I was really touched by what she said, so touched that I didn’t know what to say. “What about Ryan?”
“Ryan will be just fine. Catherine is an educated woman with help from her mother. She will give him a happy home while he’s there, and he’ll have an even happier home with Dex. Their separation is not a sign of abandonment.”
“I just…I feel terrible knowing I’m the reason they aren’t together.”
“Don’t be. She messed up.”
“But everyone messes up.” I looked away. “Deacon messed up in that bar. Dex messed up when he dumped me because Catherine was engaged. We all make mistakes, and we all deserve second chances. I know what Catherine did was wrong, but Dex even said they would have been together for the rest of their lives if her father hadn’t passed away. It was a crazy fluke. They would have forgiven each other if I weren’t around—how do you think that makes me feel when there’s a kid involved? Every Christmas will be separate, every holiday split between the two of them, and Dex looks like he’s going to cry every time he has to drop Ryan off. If I weren’t around, he would never have to drop him off.”
Cleo regarded me for a long time, her features turning stoic as she considered what I said. “You have a big heart, Sicily. You’re the most selfless person I’ve ever met, and that’s saying something because the people in my family are all pretty selfless. You’re willing to lose the love of your life because you think it’s in Dex’s best interest. I’m happy to give you your job back and help in whatever way I can. You’re like a daughter to me. But I have to say I don’t agree with your decision, and I hope you take some time to think it over.”
Twenty-Four
Dex
Sicily didn’t call or text.
Or email.
Nothing.
I half expected her to say something, at least work-related, but she was dead silent.
I was so busy anyway. I had a very limited amount of time on the ground, and I needed to spend all my free time providing patient care to the patients who traveled from all over Africa to see me, to treat their children with holes in their hearts, to get an exam for chest pain because their local doctor was unqualified.
I didn’t have much time to think about her, except the minutes right before I fell asleep. I wondered what she was doing, if she realized this was a big fucking mistake. I wondered about Ryan too and missed him. But then that made me think about Catherine…and that just pissed me off.
The first week was spent examining all the patients who came to see me and giving care and medications to those who had acute conditions. The second week was slated for surgeries, where I took the worst cases and transported them to the local hospital to fix their hearts. The second part of the trip was better than the first, because I got to do what I did best, and I also got to sleep in a hotel room with an actual bed.
My back was a little sore from sleeping in a sleeping bag for a week, but it was still worth it.
It was ten at night when I walked into my room, wearing my scrubs after I finished a day of surgery, and my phone rang in my pocket.
Sicily popped into my mind, and I got my phone out of my pocket as fast as I could.
But it was my dad.
I was still happy to see his name on the screen, but I was disappointed it wasn’t someone else. I answered the call as I kicked off my shoes. “Hey, Dad.” I put him on speakerphone and tossed the phone on the bed so I could strip off my clothes and put them in the laundry bin.
“How’s it going over there?”
I lay on the bed naked, exhausted from being on my feet all day. “I’ve been on the go since my plane landed. But I’ve seen a lot of patients. Just did three surgeries today. Two kids and one adult.”
“That’s great. I’m sure they appreciate you more than they can express.”
No, they definitely expressed it. “How are things with you guys?”
He was quiet, taking one of his ridiculously long pauses.
I was used to it.
“Sicily asked your mom for her job back.”
I closed my eyes because it became real. Sicily was dead serious about what she said. She’d moved forward with her plans, and when I returned, it would be like nothing had ever happened. “Dad, I don’t know what to do.”
He was quiet, like he didn’t know either.
“I’m giving Catherine a piece of my mind when I get back.” I was very happy that we had Ryan, but I was annoyed that I’d have to spend the next eighteen years dealing with her until he was an adult. Then I could communicate directly with him and leave her out of it. “You know what’s ironic about the whole thing? It was just a week ago when I imagined Sicily and me getting married. I was with you, actually. I thought we could have some more kids, so they’d be the same age as Ryan. Then Sicily thinks she should bow out so Catherine and I can get back together… It’s ludicrous.”
“Did you tell her that?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know when I’m going to propose, and I’d rather her not see it coming. Whenever it’s right, just go for it. I know we haven’t been together long and it’s been the bumpiest ride ever, but I know she’s the woman for me. With her, it’s just easy. It’s like being with your best friend and your woman at the same time.”
“I assume that means you aren’t going to go back to Catherine?”
“Fuck no.” Any love I had for Catherine was quickly dimming in light of her actions. “Catherine stuck her nose where it doesn’t belong and tried to sabotage my relationship. Sicily selflessly bowed out because she thought it was the right thing for me and Ryan. The difference between them is so fucking glaring. How could I possibly want to be with Catherine when she’s showed her true colors—neon fucking green.”
“I agree. I think you should talk to Sicily.”
“I doubt she’d answer if I called. My hands are tied until I get back.”
“I’m sorry, son. Anything I can do? We can deny Sicily the position if that’s what you want.”
“No, it’s okay.” I would never meddle in her
plans like that, not the way Catherine just did to me. “But there is something else.”
“Anything.”
“Could you talk to her?”
Another long pause ensued. “Me?”
“Yes.”
“Your mom already did, and it was ineffective.”
“But it’ll be different coming from you.”
“Why?”
“Because you already lived it, Dad.”
Twenty-Five
Sicily
I got a text message from a number I didn’t recognize. Hello, Sicily. This is Deacon. Was wondering if the two of us could talk?
I never imagined Dex’s father would reach out to me like this. It was obviously about Dex because there was no other reason he would contact me. The man bent over backward when it came to his kids, even got arrested for them, so it was no surprise he got involved in this too.
He texted again when I didn’t say anything. Let me know if you change your mind.
One of the hardest things about this breakup was his family. They were the best. They were the most dedicated and loving people on the planet. I didn’t just break up with Dex, but all of them, and that really sucked. I liked that Deacon reached out to me in a text instead of coming to my door. I liked that he backed off when there was no response, like I didn’t owe him anything. Men just weren’t like that anymore. They didn’t respect boundaries or respect you at all. Yeah, I can meet you.
Great. There’s a bar right on the corner of your block. I’ll meet you there in fifteen minutes.
I walked down there and stepped inside, seeing Deacon sitting alone at one of the booths in a shirt and jeans, appearing decades younger than the age of his body. There were a couple lines in the corners of his eyes, but because he was a man, it made him even more attractive.
A woman my age approached his table, and they shared a few words.
As I came closer, I could overhear their conversation.
“I’m married.” Deacon was curt and short, his annoyance loud in the silence between his words.
“Ooh…my bad. I didn’t see the ring.”
“Yes, you did.” He turned away and ignored her, like their conversation was done.
She was rooted to the spot for a bit, shocked that some guy had the audacity to call her out, but she eventually walked away.
I came to the table, feeling a little awkward that I’d walked in right when that exchange happened.
His hands were on the table, and he was fingering his ring, spinning it around his knuckle. When he looked at me, his visage immediately changed, like the interaction with the woman had never happened.
I wanted a man like that, who wouldn’t even be tempted by a woman half his age, and I knew Dex was that kind of man. The loss suddenly hit me hard, because I knew I’d lost someone who could never be replaced.
“Can I get you a glass of wine?”
“Uh, sure.”
He went to the bar and got it for me, treating me the way he treated Daisy, going out of his way to take care of me like a daughter.
“Thank you.” I took a drink and let the alcohol sting my tongue a little. “Does that happen a lot?”
He gave me a confused look.
“With the woman…”
At the mention of her, his expression tightened again. “After the bar fight, yes. I’ve gotten a lot of publicity for that, publicity I don’t want or need.” His fingers continued to spin his ring. “Thanks for meeting me.”
“Yeah, sure.” It was a bit weird, not because of him, but because we’d never really done this before. I spent time with Cleo but not Deacon.
“How are you?”
I shrugged. “I’ve been better…but it’ll get better.”
He looked down at his ring for a moment. “Dex asked me to talk to you.”
“Yeah, I suspected.” Dex was unable to get to me in person and he hadn’t called, so he probably had no other choice.
“You know I was married before Cleo. You know Derek is from that marriage. You know I was unhappy with my ex-wife. What you don’t know is my ex-wife repeatedly tried to get me to come back to her by leveraging my relationship with my son against me, and it got to the point where I just had to move away for my own sanity. I came to New York and left Derek behind…even though it practically broke my heart. I tried to do the right thing by staying in that marriage so Derek would have both parents, or at least one good parent. I spent many years in that miserable relationship, unhappy every single day of my life, doing the right thing for both her and Derek. I thought I might love her in time, that we would grow as a family, all of that stuff…but it never happened.” He grabbed his beer and took a drink to wet his throat. “Ironically, the first person I met when I came to New York was Cleo. I left the airport in an SUV, and when I stepped out of that SUV, she was waiting for me. I literally left my old life and came into my new life when I opened that door. It was fast, really fast. Cleo and I clicked right away, she fell in love with me instantly, loved my son…but I was not in a good place. I never wanted to get remarried, at least not that quickly, and I knew if I had a relationship with Cleo, that was where it would lead. Bottom line, I was not ready. But when you meet the right person, it doesn’t necessarily happen at the right time.”
My fingers rested on my glass, and I listened to a more detailed version of the story I’d heard before in bits and pieces.
“But when you love someone and it feels right at the wrong time, that’s how you know it’s real. I understand the intent behind your decision, that you’re trying to keep a family together, but what you don’t understand is, it’ll never happen the way you’re imagining. If Dex theoretically went back to her, he would be like me in my first marriage. He would be unhappy. He would be with the wrong woman…just to do the right thing.” He waited for me to say something, but I really didn’t have anything to say.
He’d just dropped a lot on me, and I wasn’t a genius like he was, so it took time to process it.
He spoke again. “My son is a great man, and he deserves to be with a great woman. If you want to do right by him, then stay. Because Catherine is half the woman you are. She doesn’t love him the way you do, and she would never make him happy like you have. You deserve a great man too, and you aren’t going to find a better man than my son. Move forward together. The three of you can be a family…just the way Cleo, Derek, and I became a family.”
I knew when Dex was in the city because I tracked his flight. It touched down safely, and he was back in New York. He came and went, and he was obviously well, or else his father would have said otherwise.
Tomorrow, he would show up at my doorstep, and the argument would continue. Kendra was trained and ready to go, but I knew in my heart she would never really replace me.
I was in the living room in my pajamas when a knock sounded on my door.
My eyes shifted to the doorframe, my heart racing.
Then the knob turned, like he was willing to walk into my apartment if he could.
I knew exactly who it was.
I’d expected him to go home after his long flight, to shower and get some sleep, but apparently, this was too important. I unlocked the door then pulled it open, seeing him in sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt, all of his luggage with him because he’d given the driver my address.
He didn’t give me that look of longing, like he’d missed me while we were apart, like he was there to sweep me off my feet and get me back. He looked…angry. His eyes smoldered like the gates of hell, and his jaw was clenched tight, just as it had been when we last talked. All of his anger was trained on me, like he’d come here to give me a piece of his mind rather than pull me into his arms.
I stepped back, my heart thudding against my rib cage.
He came in, dropped all of his shit directly on the floor, and shut the door behind him. His arms were tense by his sides, his shoulders squared, his anger palpable. He stepped forward and came closer to me.
I instinctively s
tepped back.
“We’re done with this shit, alright? It’s you and me. Period.”
He’d never spoken to me that way before.
“Alright?” He came closer, pushing me backward into the hallway. “I said, alright?”
I finally gave a nod.
“Good.” He pulled his shirt over his head then scooped his arms under my thighs to lift me and carry me into my bedroom. He dropped me on the bed and pulled down my baggy pinstriped pajama bottoms and also my ugly underwear because it was laundry day, but he moved quickly as if he’d picked me up at the club and I was in a short little dress.
He got the rest of his clothes off and climbed on top of me, his thighs separating mine, my baggy top still on with a spaghetti sauce stain on the front. He shoved himself inside me, made me cry out, and then he fucked me like he hated me.
His hand scooped into the back of my hair, and he fisted it as he pressed his face close to mine, his eyes glued to my face as he thrust into me hard, making my bed shake, making me come instantly when I hadn’t been aroused just five minutes ago. He came inside me, got off, got dressed, and then just left.
Just walked out…as if that hadn’t just happened.
Twenty-Six
Dex
I had the next two days off to recuperate from my journey, and when I was awake the next afternoon, totally messed up from the jet lag, I called Catherine. She was the first person on my list, and I would confront her in person but I didn’t want to give her anything I might be carrying, and then, in turn, give it to Ryan. So, I’d have to settle for screaming over the phone.
“Dex?” she said when I answered. “You’re home?”
“Yes, I’m home.” I could barely tolerate the sound of her voice. It used to be a voice that made my rainy days shine. Now, it was like nails to a chalkboard. Her voice made me picture her face, and that face filled me with loathing.
The Doctor Who Has No Chance (Soulless Book 11) Page 20