“Yes, that’s the guy,” Julia said, thinking of Blaine and how seriously he took her love life. “He means well and he’s actually very sweet, but he doesn’t think we’re a good match.”
“I’d love to hear why he thinks that.” His voice was already dubious and somewhat defensive, and his face wasn’t far behind.
“Well,” Julia hedged, taking a fortifying breath before going on, “he thinks you’ve got some deep dark secret.”
Martin nodded and turned his body unexpectedly so that he was skating backwards, facing Julia. “And you? Do you think I have a deep dark secret?”
“I guess we all do, to some extent.” She reached out her other hand and took his so that they were holding onto each other as they skated with Martin still facing her. Julia was quiet for a minute as they traversed the pink ice. “I guess mine is that I loved my husband and my little family, but there was no hot, burning passion there. Simply contentedness. And happiness.”
Martin raised one eyebrow, but wisely said nothing.
“Don’t get me wrong,” Julia rushed on. “Will and I were happy enough and he was an excellent husband, but it had become…a partnership.”
“I see.” Martin nodded, looking as though he understood. “It can happen.”
“And when he died, I felt less like I’d lost the love of my life,” Julia admitted, “and more like I’d lost my best friend.”
They skated for a moment and then Martin slowed them down with his blades, still holding her hands as they drifted to a stop. A mirrorball overhead began to spin as the lights changed again to yellow, throwing sparks around and making the rink feel like they were dancing in sunlight.
“Julia,” he said, “I don’t think you should have any guilt. I’m not in your situation, nor can I pretend to be, but…I’ve been married. And marriage is hard. To have lived with someone you can call your best friend, even after he’s gone,” Martin pressed his lips together before going on, “I think that’s something to be proud of.”
Julia blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. “I loved him. I did,” she said, almost as if to convince herself. “I just don’t want it to feel wrong to move on.”
“I don’t think it is,” Martin said. “Especially after three years.”
“It’s just that you’re so…different than Will was.”
Martin gave a small, quiet chuckle. “I think that’s probably a good thing, right? Unless you’re saying it’s not.”
“No!” Julia tugged on his hands as they stood beneath the spinning mirrorball. The song had changed and now Stevie Wonder was crooning to the sunshine of his life. “I’m not saying that at all. I guess this is coming out all wrong. I didn’t mean for our ice skating date to turn into some sort of confessional,” she sniffled and reached up with one cold, raw hand to brush away a tear that had dripped to the end of her nose.
“Hey, hey, this is totally fine,” Martin insisted. “We’re getting to know one another, and there’s no wrong way to go about that.”
“What I’m trying to say is that I find you really fun. And adventurous. And I love your sense of humor,” Julia added. “You make me laugh.”
Julia knew that the obvious conclusion here for Martin to draw was that Will had not been any of those things, but he politely stepped around that and instead reached out a hand, resting it on Julia’s waist as he pulled her a few inches closer.
“If I can make you laugh, lady, then that is a good thing.” He looked down into her eyes as their blades slid on the ice, drawing their bodies closer together. “A man always loves an adoring audience, you know?”
“Oh, let’s not get carried away,” Julia said with a faux eye-roll, trying to lighten the mood. “No one said anything about being adoring. Let’s just call it a small admiration.”
Martin nodded, a challenge spreading across his bemused face. “Okay, I hear you,” he teased, letting go of her hands and skating away from her. “And I’m ready to win your adoration with my skating skills. Watch this.”
Julia stood in the center of the ring, beaming at this handsome stranger as he did sharp turns and hockey-type moves around the rink. Watching him skate and throw an occasional smile at her over his shoulder left a glow inside of her that rivaled the warmth she felt just holding his hand.
11
“So why are you in your room and not out with this guy?” Christina asked, watching as her mother moved around her stateroom with her hair on top of her head and a green clay mask on her face.
“Because,” Julia said, stopping in front of the phone’s camera to look at her daughter squarely, “we get to Hilo tomorrow morning really early, and I want to be ready to get off the boat and start exploring—“
“Mom.” Christina’s voice was firm. “Quit lying to yourself.”
“I’m not.”
Christina rolled her eyes. “Julia,” she said, using her mom’s first name to get her attention. It was a trick she’d perfected as a teenager and it still had the desired effect. “You’re afraid to have this guy kiss you and stuff.”
“He already kissed me,” Julia said haughtily, hoping it would get her daughter to pipe down.
“Listen, Mom,” Christina spoke in a quieter voice. “I know this has to be a little weird. But you’ve gotta get back on the horse some time, don’t you?”
“So to speak…” Julia said with a suggestive smirk.
Christina had the good manners to at least blush when she realized what she’d just said to her mother. “I mean, I guess,” she said, laughing nervously with her hands pressed to both of her pink cheeks. “Still. That’s kind of ew.”
Julia laughed. “I don’t want you to worry about me, kid. I promise I’m not self-sabotaging or doing any of the things that a self-help book for a woman like me might suggest.” Julia opened the closet, talking over her shoulder to the phone screen so that Christina could still see her as she picked out an outfit for the next day.
Christina was silent for a second. “You know, it’ll be kind of strange to see you with someone other than Dad. I mean, whenever you find someone else,” she added.
Julia stopped flicking through the clothes hanging in front of her. Her hands fell to her sides. Instead of speaking, she simply nodded, hoping Christina would understand that her words had been heard and appreciated.
“In other news,” Christina said in a louder, brighter voice, breaking the small silence between them. “I think I met someone I kind of like.”
Julia whirled around and walked back to the phone so she could look her daughter in the eye. “What? Are you kidding?” Oddly, her heart was racing in a way that it never had when Christina had told her about a boy she was dating. Was there some element to her daughter’s new romantic life that made Julia less comfortable? She knew deep down that she loved her daughter thoroughly, and that she whole-heartedly approved of her loving whomever she wanted to love, but there was that element of the unknown for her; the idea that somehow a lifestyle she was unfamiliar with might take her daughter away from her, or leave her little girl heartbroken in ways that Julia couldn’t fix.
“No, I’m not kidding.” Christina tucked her hair behind both ears and looked off into the distance before going on. “She’s in my British literature class. Her name is Carli. With an ‘i’ at the end.” She wrinkled her nose as if she disapproved just slightly of this small detail. And knowing Christina, she probably did. Julia knew that her child was nothing if not pragmatic, and things like glitter and prom queens and girls whose names were too cutesy (not that anyone could help what their parents named them) made her suspicious. Still, she had a smile on her face as she thought about this Carli with a i.
Julia plopped down on the foot of her bed and crossed her legs. Her robe fell open to reveal her thighs and she could feel the mask on her face crack; it had dried completely.
“So you like her, huh? Have you talked to her?”
“Mom, of course,” Christina said, making a face like Julia might be from an
other planet. “We’ve gone out.”
“Oh.” Julia put the tips of her fingers to her face and tapped at the hardened green clay. “So, she’s…”
Christina’s eyebrows went up as she waited for her mom to fill in the blank. When she didn’t, she kindly helped her out. “Into me? Yeah, I think she is. But it’s still early, so who knows.” Christina gestured to someone off camera. “Listen, Mom—I’ve gotta run. I’m meeting a group from my history class to study. Call you tomorrow?”
“Of course, of course,” Julia waved her off. “You have a good time, and be safe, okay honey?”
“Uh, I think I should be the one saying that to you.” Christina looked directly into the phone camera. “I mean it. And Mom? Better wash that stuff off,” she said, pointing at the camera so it looked like she was pointing at Julia’s face. “You’re about to crack.”
They signed off and Julia went into the small bathroom where she ran hot water over a washcloth. Maybe Christina was right. Who was she kidding? Of course Christina was right. She’d been right 90% of the time when they’d disagreed on things over the course of the past twenty years; the kid was completely self-possessed and wise beyond her years. But maybe she had the mindset that Julia really needed to embrace: that it was time to get back on the horse and ride. She laughed to herself at the innuendo involved in that particular imagery.
With the warm washcloth, Julia wiped off the face mask and then splashed water on her cheeks before patting her face dry with a fluffy white towel.
When she emerged from the bathroom, there was a folded piece of paper on the floor that had clearly been slipped beneath her stateroom door. She clasped her robe closed and bent over to pick it up.
Meet you near the elevators on your floor tomorrow morning at 7:30? I’ll pack breakfast…you just bring yourself. And a swimsuit. I want to explore the island with you!
~Martin
As she skimmed the note for the second time, Julia could feel her lips pulling up at both corners and her skin flushing. She’d already been looking forward to getting off the boat and seeing Hawaii for the first time, but the idea of seeing it with Martin was even better. She got ready for bed and switched off the lights, willing morning to hurry up and come as quickly as possible.
Somehow Martin had managed to talk the hostess at the buffet into letting him in early the next morning so that he could wrap up bacon and cheese on biscuits, two hashbrown patties, and two small bottles of pineapple juice for the road. As promised, he stood near the elevators at seven-thirty, holding a plastic bag full of breakfast food, two paper cups of coffee, and wearing a huge grin.
“You ready to explore?” he called out as Julia approached, looking her up and down and giving a wink of approval. “You look like it.”
She’d tied on her red bikini top under a navy blue tank top and pulled a pair of khaki cargo shorts over the bikini bottoms. The shorts were just the right length to show off legs that she’d toned at the gym all winter, and with her hair pulled off her face in a French braid, Julia looked ready for adventure.
“I’m ready,” she said, taking the coffee he handed her as they waited for the elevator. “What should we do first?”
Martin held the door open for her so that she could step on first. “Let’s do everything. They want us back on the ship by five, so let’s just see where the day takes us, huh?”
“I’m game,” Julia said, sipping her coffee.
Martin pushed the button for the ground floor. “Then let’s get out there and seize the day, huh?”
So that’s what they did. They took an Uber to the farmer’s market for fresh sliced pineapple and juicy bits of mango. Martin convinced a local to snap a pic on his phone of the two of them standing near the water with parakeets on their shoulders, looking at one another with laughter in their eyes. They took another Uber to Rainbow Falls and explored the eighty foot cascade of water, standing at the swimming hole known as the “boiling pots” and considering the wisdom of a swim.
“I heard it was dangerous,” Julia ventured. She squinted into the distance.
“I take it you aren’t an adrenaline junkie,” Martin said, watching her appreciatively. “I like a woman who uses caution. There’s no need to be crazy.”
Julia turned to look at him. “Life’s too short to be crazy,” she said with sincerity.
Rather than letting it turn into an awkward silence as they both considered the truncated life of Julia’s husband, Martin reached over and put a hand on her shoulder, looking into the water alongside her for a moment.
“Okay,” he finally said. “We’ve seen the falls. And I’m guessing that you’re not gonna say yes to zip-lining over a volcano or taking a helicopter tour.”
Julia shook her head slowly, trying to gauge his level of seriousness.
“That’s good. Because I took a leap and booked us a two-hour kayak tour of Coconut Island. Does that sound tame enough?”
“Kayaking? That’s perfect,” Julia said with relief. “That I can do.”
They spent the afternoon on a guided tour of Coconut Island, with a prepared lunch of fresh fish tacos served on picnic benches by the water. Julia bit into her first flour tortilla and crunched through the cabbage, tasting the spicy cilantro-lime sauce that covered the grilled mahi-mahi.
“This is so good!” she said, her eyes on Martin’s face as he bit into his own taco. He nodded in agreement.
By the time they got back to the ship late that afternoon, laden with bottles of fresh-squeezed guava juice and delicate necklaces strung with seashells, Julia was slightly sunburned and deliriously happy. The day had felt unlike a date to her—and more like an enjoyable outing with an extremely attractive and funny friend. There had been a couple of times that she’d found herself standing at Martin’s side, her hand resting on his shoulder familiarly, but he’d resisted kissing her in public, taking her hand, or turning any of the moments into romantic ones. And she’d appreciated that. Somehow he’d known just the right note to strike with the day, and she felt exhilarated by the knowledge that she was spending time with someone as wonderful as him.
She got ready for dinner like she was floating on a cloud, singing to herself as the hot water washed over her skin and fogged up the little bathroom. Before parting ways, Martin had asked her to dinner and then to sit in the audience of a gameshow that his cupid had told him was a “must see.”
But even as a pleasant evening lay before her, something was nagging at Julia like the echo of an unpleasant memory. There had to be something wrong with this picture, didn’t there? Did a woman in her forties really meet a terrific guy right out of the gate and find that he was, in essence, The One? She turned around in the shower and let the water run over her hair. In the pit of her stomach, she felt like there was more to Martin than met the eye.
With a resigned feeling, Julia turned off the shower and wrapped herself in a towel. That night she was determined to find out even more about Martin Estrada.
12
The ubiquitous Ukulele Dave was walking around the dining room when Julia and Martin were seated, strumming his instrument and making small talk with diners. That evening they’d chosen the sushi bar that overlooked the indoor pool, and their table was pushed up against the glass wall that stood between them and a fifteen foot drop into the sparkling blue pool. Julia looked down at the water, lit from beneath with lights that glittered as swimmers made their way back and forth in the pool.
“Here you are, miss,” a waiter said, handing her a heavy black leather menu. “Sushi rolls are on the right, and on the left, we have dishes that you can share. Let me know when you decide what you’d like to drink.”
“Actually, we’ll take a bottle of champagne, if you don’t mind,” Martin said, already perusing the menu. Even with the few feet that separated them, Julia could smell his aftershave, and could see the marks his comb had left in his damp hair after a shower. He’d changed into a black Hawaiian shirt with coral-colored hibiscus flowers sprinkled
all over it. The overall effect was dashing, in Julia’s opinion.
“So,” she said, leaning back in her chair and lifting her champagne flute once the waiter had taken their order and swept away the menus, leaving their drinks behind. “I’m ready.”
Martin’s dark eyebrow lifted questioningly. “I could take that so many different ways…”
Julia folded her hands together on the table and looked him squarely in the eye. “I’m ready to hear more about your life.”
It wasn’t that he seemed uncomfortable at the prospect of opening up about himself, but Martin’s face took on a slightly different look as he weighed his options. Julia waited, taking small sips of her champagne as she gave him time to process what she wanted to hear.
A young woman in a high-waisted, acid green silk jumpsuit approached their table. Her long auburn hair was set in perfect waves, and her hot pink nails were short and perfectly filed. She put one hand on her bony hip and gave Martin an over-the-top grin.
“This is fabulous! I’m so happy!” she said with the over-the-top enthusiasm of a cheerleader.
Julia felt her stomach start to plummet as she eyed the gorgeous girl and ran through the scenarios quickly: Martin’s next door neighbor on the cruise? If that was the case, then she certainly put Arthur to shame as far as neighborly hotness went. A girl he’d talked to in a bar on one of the first nights of the cruise? Something more? She was young, certainly, and both chic and hip in a way that Julia could see but could not quite articulate.
Just as her jealousy and curiosity were about to collide and combust right there in the sushi restaurant, Martin turned to look at her. “Julia, this is Kerry, my cupid. Kerry, meet Julia Delmonico.”
“Ohhhh, hiiiii,” Kerry said, dragging out the words so that she sounded like she was stalling before saying anything else. Finally, her face fell. “You didn’t come up on Martin’s list of potential matches at all.” She looked crestfallen.
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