Even as she thought it, though, she doubted it. Jordan wasn’t really one to appreciate advice.
“Doris?”
Doris gave a start and looked up at her sister’s concerned expression. “Jah?”
“You all right?”
Doris smiled. “Of course, I’m all right. We’ll go the long way round and pass by Mark’s place on our way to the Feed & Supply.”
“It’s a nice day for a drive, anyway, don’t you think?”
Doris burst into laughter. “That it is. Specially since I know how much you love to be out in the cold.”
Chapter Eight
John and Henrietta Glick returned sooner than Doris expected. When she heard the buggy turn into the drive, she quickly ran upstairs to hide the pillowcases. She might have to start working on them at night at the rate she was going.
She went back downstairs to bundle up for her ride with Kara.
Henrietta looked up when Doris entered the kitchen. “Kara tells me you’re off to the Feed & Supply. She’s outside, stopping your dat from unhitching Gallant.”
“Jah, she wants some spices for baking.”
“Mm hmm,” Henrietta said knowingly. “I imagine there’s a young man involved somehow.” She began to laugh and then instantly sobered. “You aren’t meeting up with Jordan, are you?”
Doris sighed. “Nee, Mamm. I’m not.”
Henrietta blew out her breath. “All right, then. You girls don’t be too long.”
“We’ll be a while. Don’t worry, all right?”
Henrietta gave a look of mock innocence. “Me? Worry? Never.”
Doris laughed at that, surprised that her mother was in a joking mood on the tail of asking about Jordan. But she appreciated it. Her mother could actually be amusing when she decided to be.
“Bye, Mamm.”
“Bye, daughter.”
Doris grabbed her cape and mittens and ran out the side door. The frigid air blasted her, and she quickly wrapped herself in her cape, fastening the button under her chin. She should have brought her scarf, but the buggy was likely still warm.
Her father was walking her way. “You be careful, now,” he told her. “Them roads are fairly cleared off, but there might be a patch or two of ice here and there.”
“We’ll be careful, Dat.” She gave him a warm smile and then hurried to the buggy where Kara was already seated inside.
“You’re going to drive?” Doris asked, as she climbed into the passenger side.
“Jah. That all right?”
Doris nodded. “I s’pose it doesn’t really matter.”
“Can we go by Mark’s place first? Before going to the Feed & Supply?”
“Suit yourself. I’m just happy to be out of the house for a while.”
“I’m going to go toward the edge of town and then circle back to pass Mark’s farm from the south—”
“So we can pass it again on the way home?” Doris asked.
Kara gave her a disgruntled look and then laughed. “Fine. I want to have two chances to see Mark. Is that so bad?”
“Quit getting all riled up, Kara. It suits me fine. Plus, you’re the driver.”
Kara grinned. “That I am.”
Doris settled in to enjoy the ride. The buggy was still warm, and the heater was on, so it was quite pleasant. Kara was a careful driver, never taking any chances, so the drive was leisurely.
“Mark gave you a ride home from the last singing, ain’t so?” Doris asked.
Kara’s cheeks flushed with pleasure. “That he did. Does Mamm know?”
“I don’t think so, and I certainly didn’t tell her. Why are you worried, anyway? Mark Lapp hasn’t been to prison.” The minute the words were out of her mouth, Doris cringed. What was she doing? Making jokes about Jordan?
Her sister stared at her.
“I-I, uh, forget I said that, will you?”
“I’m sorry about Jordan, Doris. You want to talk about it?”
With Matthew, Doris’s heart cried. I want to talk about it with Matthew.
But what she said was, “There isn’t much to say.”
“It’ll blow over now, anyway,” Kara said. “The church meeting is over, and the vote is over.”
“I wish it were that simple.”
“Isn’t it?”
Doris gave a rueful smile. She’d thought so too, and not that long ago. But with Jordan’s attitude lately, it wasn’t that simple at all.
“I s’pose it is,” she said. “And what I was really meaning to say, was that Mamm won’t find any reason not to be happy about Mark Lapp. Dat neither, for that matter.”
“I hope not.” Kara emitted something that sounded quite like a squeal. “Ach, but I like him so much, Doris. He’s so handsome and nice and thoughtful. Did you know that he wants to make furniture?”
Doris’s brow raised. “Does he? He doesn’t want to farm his dat’s land?”
“He likes farming all right, but he really wants to work with wood. He’s gut at it, too. He told me all about the bureau he made for his sister.”
“I’m glad for him.” But Doris knew that Mark’s dad wouldn’t be pleased. Fathers liked their sons to follow in their footsteps, and as far as she knew, no one in the Lapp family had ever made their living from making furniture.
“He’s got his eye on a shop in town.”
“Does he? Has he told his folks?”
“Nee, but he’s going to. Likely this week.”
Doris nodded slowly. “I pray it goes well.”
“Why shouldn’t it?” Kara asked quickly, eyeing her. “Do you know something?”
Doris chuckled. “Nee, Kara. It was a simple statement, that’s all.”
“Oh,” she said and visibly relaxed. “I’m excited for him, Doris. It feels almost like it’s happening to me. Is that silly? Does it even make sense?”
“It makes perfect sense,” she said. “When you love someone, in some ways, their life becomes yours.”
“That’s it.” Kara smiled at her. “You do understand. And…” She lowered her voice. “I do love him.”
“I know you do,” Doris said simply. The look of love was written all over her sister’s face.
“It’ll be all right for you, too,” Kara said. “I mean with Jordan. Everything will work out fine, you’ll see.”
“Thanks,” Doris said. But she wondered. Would it? Would it work out? She rested back in her seat and decided to put her mind elsewhere—to enjoy the beautiful, crisp landscape. The empty fields stretched all around them with a kind of cold, barren beauty. She touched the window with her fingertips and pressed her nose to the window, letting the peace of the countryside sink into her.
Up ahead, Kara turned the buggy to the left and they started down a road Doris didn’t know well. As far as she could tell, no Amish farms were located here. They did pass a smattering of Englisch houses, though, and a business or two—a tire shop and a diner. Doris could see that they were nearing what appeared to be a tavern.
Their buggy drew near and as they passed, Doris saw a buggy parked on the other side, nearly hidden from view.
“Kara, look, there’s a buggy.” Doris craned her neck and gasped. That wasn’t just anyone’s buggy—that was the Lehmans’ buggy. She grabbed Kara’s arm.
“What? What is it?” Kara asked, pulling up slightly on the reins.
“It’s Jordan,” Doris said, her eyes wide. “It has to be him. He’s in that tavern.”
Kara blinked and pulled up further on the reins. Their buggy slowed to a stop. “You don’t know that.”
“Jah, I do. I recognize their horse, and I’m sure it isn’t Jordan’s dat or brothers in there. Ach, Kara…” Doris’s mind whirled. What was Jordan doing in there? She winced. She knew what he was doing, but she could hardly believe it. When had he started drinking? For what other reason was there to go into a tavern?
“We need to get out of here,” Kara said, snapping the reins again.
“Nee. Stop.”
Kara pulled back again and gaped at her sister. “Why? What are you going to do? You can’t go in there!”
“Why can’t I? Jordan did.”
“Doris! Are you crazy? You can’t! I won’t let you.” Kara started to snap the reins, but Doris snatched them from her hands.
“I’m going to go in and see if I’m right.”
“An Amish girl can’t go in there. Doris… It’s evil.”
Doris gave her a scathing look. “I have to go in, Kara. I appreciate your concern, but I have to go in there. Go ahead and leave if you must, but I’m going in.”
And before Kara could say another word, Doris dropped the reins and scrambled out of the buggy. Her foot hit a patch of ice, and she nearly sprawled flat on the road, but she managed to catch herself. She inched her way around the buggy until she got on dry road. Then she scurried across the street.
Her heart was pounding wildly in her chest, and her breath came in short gasps. She reached the rough wooden wall of the tavern and stopped short. Kara was right. What was she thinking? She couldn’t go in there. She just couldn’t. She turned around to head back across the road when something within her welled up and forced her to remain. She needed to know. She needed to know if it was indeed Jordan in there.
Despite what Jordan had said, they were practically engaged. She had a right to know what her fiancé was doing. Didn’t she? Didn’t she?
But an Amish woman in a tavern? She bit her lip so hard, she nearly drew blood. She swallowed past the lump of fear in her throat. She had to do this. She had to.
She went to the door and pulled it open. It was heavy, and she had to put some real muscle into it. Again, she nearly fled, but she pressed on. Inside, it was dark, and it smelled like cigarettes. Her eyes burned—from the smoke or from unshed tears, she didn’t know. She paused a minute, adjusting to the darkness. And then she began to make out hulking shapes of men strewn along the bar. The music blared, and she wondered how anyone could utter a thing that could be heard.
She stepped behind a dusty plastic tree and peered out, praying no one would notice her. She studied each shape until she recognized him. Her breath caught, and she wanted to scream. It was him. Jordan was there, with a glass in his hand. He was slumped and she’d never seen anyone with such a dejected posture in her life.
Without thinking, she rushed further inside.
“Jordan,” she said.
He moved his head as if in slow motion. When his eyes connected with hers in the shadows, the look on his face was so alarming she gasped. He stiffened and the fury in his eyes made her step back.
It was as if everything in the bar went still. Even the song had finished playing. Doris knew that everyone there was gawking at her as if she were some kind of monster or non-being or surreal illusion.
Jordan jolted to his feet. “What are you doing here?” he nearly roared.
She licked her lips, and her eyes pleaded with him, but he was livid.
What was she doing there? She had completely lost her mind. She had no words to answer him. She sucked in a shaky breath and pivoted on her heel, running from the tavern as if she were on fire. She shoved through the door and raced across the street. She grabbed the side of the buggy and plunged into her seat.
“Go!” she cried to Kara, whose eyes were nearly bulging form her face. “Go!”
Kara snapped the reins and the buggy lurched forward.
“Go, go, go, go,” Doris said, her voice filled with tears. “Hurry!”
Their horse sped up and Doris closed her eyes, pressing her hand to her chest. She moaned and shook her head back and forth.
“It-it was him?” Kara asked.
Doris nearly choked. “It … was … him.”
“Ach, I’m so sorry. So sorry,” Kara said. She slowed the buggy down and neither of them said anything for a good while. When they were nearing the Lapp farm, Kara turned to her. “Was it awful?”
“He was furious with me, Kara.” Doris shook her head and continued to press her hand over her heart.
“I’m sure he was.”
Doris straightened up and stared at her. “Why? Why are you sure?”
“Because I’m certain he didn’t want to get caught in there. Especially by you.”
Kara was right, of course, but her words made Doris feel even worse. Fear assaulted her. What was happening to the man she loved? She shifted in her seat, suddenly feeling so restless, she could hardly stay put.
“After we pass by the Lapp farm, can you take me to me to Aenti Verna’s?” Doris asked. She really meant, can you take me to Matthew’s, but she wasn’t about to phrase it like that.
“Why? Why do you want to see her? You surely aren’t going to tell her about Jordan.”
Doris swallowed. “Nee, of course not. I-I…”
“Ach! It’s Matthew you want to see,” Kara said. “Are you going to tell him? I know you two tell each other everything.”
Doris stared at her. “You know that? You know Matthew and I tell each other everything?”
“I’ve always liked Matthew,” Kara said. She paused for they were passing the Lapp farm. She craned her neck every which way to get a good look. Then she sighed. “I don’t see Mark anywhere.”
“Neither do I,” Doris said, hoping to change the subject. But Kara went right back to Matthew.
“In truth, I’ve been a bit jealous of the close relationship you two have. Oh, I know Matthew likes all of us. We are all his cousins, after all. But he likes you best. He always has.”
Jah, thought Doris, he always has. But she didn’t feel so confident about it anymore.
“So, are you going to tell him?” Kara asked.
“I don’t know,” Doris said, and she didn’t. All she knew was that she’d feel better if she saw him—whether she told him or not.
“Do you want me to pick you back up then, on the way home from the Feed & Supply?”
“Umm… Nee. I’ll ask Matthew to give me a ride home, or I’ll walk.”
“Ach, you can’t walk in this cold.”
“Of course, I can. I like the cold, remember?”
Kara shook her head. “You’re odd sometimes, Doris. You do know that?”
Doris laughed. “Jah, I do know that.”
Kara turned the buggy and headed toward Matthew’s place. Doris didn’t say anymore. Her stomach was churning, and she found herself not only upset about Jordan but worried that Matthew wouldn’t welcome her visit. Surely, he would, though, wouldn’t he?
Ten minutes passed, and she was about to find out. Kara drove to the wide wrap-around porch and pulled Gallant to a stop.
“You’re sure you’ll have a ride home?”
“Jah,” Doris said, putting on a smile and climbing out. “Thank you, Kara. And thank you for not telling anyone.” Because she knew Kara wouldn’t say a word about Jordan being in the tavern.
“Bye,” Kara said. She gave Doris a sad smile, and Doris shut the door.
Chapter Nine
Doris hesitated for a moment, watching Kara drive away. Then she turned to the front door, even though she usually went in through the side door. She didn’t bother knocking, she just opened the door and called out, “Aenti? You home?”
Verna came bustling out from the kitchen. “Why Doris, hello. I didn’t expect you today.”
“I thought I’d come and visit a bit.” Funny how a person’s voice could sound normal when their insides were roiling.
“That’s right nice. I imagine you want to see Matthew, too. I don’t think you two have visited much lately.”
“Is he here?”
Verna chuckled. “Where else would he be in the middle of the day?” Then she clasped Doris’s arm. “Now, come evenings, it’s a different story. He’s courting someone, Doris. I don’t know who she is, but I’m mighty pleased about it.”
Doris sucked in her breath, carefully keeping her smile in place. “That’s right nice.” But she didn’t mean it. Again, she was stunned by the possessive
feeling that grabbed her at the thought of Matthew courting.
Selfish, selfish, selfish, she scolded herself.
“I’m sure you know who it is. Matthew would have told you…” Verna let go of Doris’s arm. Her eyebrows rose, and Doris knew she was hoping for Annie’s name, but Doris wasn’t about to divulge Matthew’s secret.
“Now, Aenti, you know that kind of information is kept quiet around here.”
Verna let out her breath in a moan. “I know it is, but I was hoping since I’m your aenti…”
Doris laughed. “Aenti or not, my lips are sealed.”
Verna laughed with her. “I figured as much. Let me call the boy. He’s likely out in the barn. I’m surprised he didn’t hear you come. But then, he and his dat are keeping the barn doors closed in this weather. You did drive your buggy, didn’t you?”
“Kara dropped me off.”
“I see. Well, Matthew can give you a ride home. Now, let me call him.”
“I can go on out there. I’m already bundled up.”
“So you are. Bring Matthew and his dat in for a nice cup of hot chocolate.”
“I will.”
Doris went out through the side door. She hurried across the yard to the barn and pulled open one of the wide doors. She stepped inside where Matthew and his dad had two lanterns hung. It was daytime, but inside a closed barn in this weather, it could still be quite dark.
“Doris?” Matthew said. He looked genuinely shocked to see her. She studied his face, hoping for a gleam of welcome, but her uncle distracted her.
“Doris Glick, what are you doing out and about in this cold?”
“I-I just came by to say hello.”
“Did you come alone?”
“Kara dropped me off.” She could feel Matthew’s stare, but right then, she didn’t dare look at him. He would see her upset, and she still wasn’t sure she wanted to tell him about Jordan.
“She should have come on in, too.”
“She was running errands,” Doris told him. “Aenti wants you both to come in for hot chocolate.”
The Punishment (Doris's Christmas Story Book 2) Page 5