by Jean Oram
April MacFarlane.
His wife.
Also his part-time receptionist who didn’t have a shift today.
She was holding up several shirts for MayBeth Albright to peruse. The middle-aged woman shook her head, and April put them back on the rack before bringing out another one.
He knew April. He knew MayBeth. And the two of them did not shop together.
Which meant April worked for Jenny?
Since when?
He pushed open the door and stepped inside the shop. It smelled of leather, new clothes and an essential oil he couldn’t name.
April was hustling around a rack, saying to MayBeth, “Hang on, I think we have a small one over here.”
“April?” he said.
She broke stride, her mouth dropping open as though she was guilty of something. “Brant. Hi.”
He came closer, keeping his voice low. “You work here?”
Her face immediately flushed. “Jenny needed some help.”
“For today?”
She shook her head, and he nodded as though he understood the fact that she was working at a new job on her day off, and hadn’t mentioned it to him.
April slipped the blouse she was holding into a rack of denim jackets. “And I was kind of thinking…” Her shoulders hunched.
Brant pulled the shirt out and handed it back to her. “Doesn’t go there.”
She clutched the hanger with both hands. “Maybe it would be best if I didn’t work for you?”
He’d never seen her tentative like this. He’d also never seen this coming. Not even a hint. And he was living with the woman. He was married to her.
“Am I not paying you enough? Do you need more flexibility in your hours? Is it about Lainie? I know she can get feisty about where people put things in the fridge, but we can’t take her personally. I like working with you.”
Brant dragged a hand over his face, trying to think what this secret job might mean. It felt like that situation with Shelley. As she’d gotten her feet under her, she’d taken on new things. He’d been proud. But then she’d grown more and more distant, as well as secretive. Then she’d left.
Was April on the same path?
Brant wanted what April wanted, and she desired independence, but he couldn’t ignore how this new job was making his gut scream “Danger!”
“I like working with you, too,” April said, placing a hand on his arm. He flinched, as the tone she was using reminded him of breakups.
“Then what is it?” he asked, his voice almost a growl.
“I need a life that’s mine.”
Was she kidding him? They were married. Why would she feel the need to have a separate life, or a job away from him, unless she wanted to be away from him?
She’d been upset when he’d brought Cookies to the Sweet Meadows Ranch, just like she’d been frustrated with his gifts. He’d handled that, but this amount of rejection was starting to feel personal.
“My life is your life. Without you, I don’t have one,” she was saying.
“We’re married,” he answered, the words catching in his throat.
“I know, but I just feel…” She closed her eyes as though struggling to find the right thing to say, or maybe for the strength to express what he didn’t want to hear.
“…Feel like you don’t want to see me that much,” he said, completing her sentence for her.
Her eyes flew wide. “No! It’s not that.”
“Do you have it in medium?” MayBeth called out.
“Sorry, I need a second,” April called back to her, and the woman let out a huff of disapproval.
“I think we need more than a second.”
April’s eyes flashed with impatience. “I need to have my own money. Not money I’m taking from your clinic.”
“You’re earning it.”
“In a job you made up for me.”
Brant shoved his hat back on his head, a need to yell and throw something growing within him. “And you resent me for that?”
Why did she have such a problem with him being a loving, helpful husband? He wasn’t like the other men she’d been with. He wasn’t playing games or trying to wind her up or get her to live his life. He was trying to help her by clearing things out of her way so she could do what was important. How was that a problem?
Her eyes were pleading with him for understanding.
“We couldn’t discuss this before you decided you needed to leave?”
“I’m not leaving.”
“It sounds like you’re leaving the clinic.”
“Well… I am, but…”
“You’re leaving.” He shifted from foot to foot, crossing his arms. “What’s next?”
“Nothing is next. Brant, you can’t afford me working at the clinic.”
“Maybe I can.”
“You can’t. Not both me and Robyn.”
“So you made the unilateral choice. You think you know what’s best for me and my clinic?”
“You made the choice to move my horse without talking to me.”
“Your horse was still at your ex-husband’s house!”
“And Cookies was fine there!”
“You know Heath’s going to hold that against you.”
“I was dealing with it.”
“Like you were dealing with leaving him? It took you two years, April. Two. Years.”
Her eyes shut as though blocking out the verbal blow, and he turned away, frustrated with himself.
She’d first expressed her desire to leave Heath two years ago, but didn’t have the resources. Brant had told her she could move back to the ranch, but her pride had kept her from agreeing.
He’d let it go until she’d brought it up again at the end of last summer. He’d bought Luanne Blackburn’s house from Laura so April would have somewhere to go when she was ready, and he’d let her know she could work for him.
He’d thought he’d let her make her own choice to leave. But maybe she’d wanted to stay. Maybe that was why she’d balked when he’d bought the house, offering her free rent until she could manage it on her own. Maybe that was why she’d left Cookies on the farm. Maybe it wasn’t actually about independence and contributing, like she’d said.
“Have you told him we’re married?” he asked.
She inhaled so slowly he knew the answer was no.
“I need to stand on my own two feet,” she said evenly. “What if something happens to you, and I can’t take care of myself and my son? Then what?”
Brant turned, walking to the door on stiff legs, unable to think, feel or breathe.
“Hey, we’re having that welcome-back party for Cole tonight,” Myles said. “You coming?”
Brant blinked at his brother, trying to fight off the exhaustion that clung to him, so he could focus. “What?” The kitten on his chest stretched and Brant sat up in his clinic’s armchair, setting the cat on the floor. He must have dozed off here once he’d finished the day’s files, Myles letting himself in the back with the security code. “What time is it?”
“Eight.” His brother gestured toward the rear door. “It’s at the Watering Hole. We can walk over.”
“Why?”
“Because Cole came back and we want him to feel welcome,” Myles said slowly. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, sure.” Brant blinked a few times and shook his head, trying to clear his mind. Somehow it was already Friday night, which meant tomorrow was his and April’s wedding reception. He rubbed his jaw, realizing he hadn’t shaved that morning.
“How about you and April? You two doing okay?”
“Fine.” Brant got up, and Tadpole jumped onto the chair’s warm spot.
“I heard you missed date night tonight.”
“It’s been a busy week.”
“You sure it’s not about that fight you and April had in Blue Tumbleweed on Monday?”
Brant tipped his head back and groaned. He’d spent way too much time agonizing over that argument, and how Apri
l had pulled the rug out from under him with her secret job. They were married. She should feel she could tell him stuff like that. But she couldn’t even summon the courage to say she loved him unless they were…
He rubbed his eyes, muttering, “Is word of our fight all over town?”
“Of course.”
Sweetheart Creek. What a pain in the butt.
“What time is the party?”
“Now.”
Brant glanced around for his jacket.
“Is April coming?” Myles asked.
“She’s taking a lot of shifts for Jenny,” he muttered, knowing that some of those shifts were to get her away from home—and him. Just like he’d checked on some herds ahead of schedule for the college study.
“Jenny’s is closed for the night.”
“Oh, right.” Brant stretched, reality pressing in on him. “How did I forget about this party?” He checked his pockets for his wallet and phone.
“You’ve been distracted,” Myles said with a lopsided grin. “You sure you and April are okay?”
“Of course.” He’d barely seen her all week, which meant they hadn’t been actively fighting. But it also meant they hadn’t resolved anything.
In fact, Brant was afraid to talk to April. He feared she might spill the truth on why she’d married him. And if he didn’t know the truth, he could hold on to the fantasy for just a little longer.
“That’s not nearly cute enough,” Jackie protested, when April strode into her living room, ready to go to Cole’s welcome-back party. She was in everyday jeans and a pale blue sweater, her hair in a ponytail. Whereas Jackie was in tight jeans, a slinky off-the-shoulder knitted top and high heels.
“I don’t need to look cute. He’s my ex-boyfriend, and I’m married.”
“Where is that husband of yours, anyway?” Jackie asked, looking around the living room as though expecting Brant to appear.
“And where is Heath?” April replied, checking the clock by the door. He’d said he would arrive before Kurt’s bedtime, and that was only five minutes away. Kurt was already in bed, story chosen, teeth brushed, eagerly waiting for his father after weeks of broken promises.
She’d finally called Heath and told him she was married, that she’d retrieved Cookies and that it was time for them to get serious about following their post-divorce agreements. He’d concurred and said he’d take care of Kurt tonight so she could go out.
“Heath?” Jackie repeated, a note of incredulity in her tone.
“That’s right,” April said steadily.
“Why?”
“He’s babysitting Kurt.”
“It’s not his week to have him.”
Technically, it was, but April hoped tonight would be the first step in the two of them getting things on track. Heath agreeing to take care of Kurt was a win, and if she could ease him into adhering to their agreement little by little, without having a tremendous fight that set them back, they’d get a lot further faster. She just hoped he hadn’t said yes to tonight so he’d have a reason to pop by and yell at her for moving on. It was tough enough dealing with an upset Brant.
“So Heath’s coming here?” Jackie asked, her tone flat and expressionless now. She inhaled with a huff, as though she’d heard something she didn’t feel good about.
“Yes,” April said, checking her pale lipstick in the entry’s mirror.
The doorbell rang, and Jackie let out a long sigh. “I’ll wait outside.” She opened the door, giving Heath a tight smile. He looked large and uncomfortable standing on the front step, and had bags under his eyes. Jackie stepped past him and he came inside.
“Hey,” April said. “Bedtime is—”
“Seven-thirty,” Heath said automatically. He hadn’t moved from the doorway, his gaze locked on her. “You married him.”
April stilled. “I did,” she said evenly. “Kurt will keep your last name, and I’ll continue to keep my maiden name.” Like she always had.
“You plan to leave him, too, then?”
“No,” she said firmly, her anger mounting.
Heath was strangely subdued, and she wasn’t sure if he was inwardly building toward a sudden burst of yelling or not. She felt as though she was ready to fight, that was for sure.
They stared at each other for a long moment, then Heath took a tentative step toward her, and suddenly she was in his arms, receiving a hug that made it hard to breathe.
“Heath?” She tapped his shoulder. He released her. “I have to go.”
“I’ll try better,” he whispered, his eyes dark with something she couldn’t pinpoint.
“I’ll be back at nine,” she said, hurrying out the door, unsure what was going through her ex’s mind.
“Have fun tonight,” Heath said, leaning against the doorjamb, his voice thick but calm.
April didn’t reply, her heart racing with uncertainty. She closed the door behind her and inhaled a soothing lungful of evening air. That had been weird, as well as way too mature for either of them.
“No yelling?” Jackie asked, her arms crossed. She was waiting by her car, eyes narrowed.
“Let’s walk.”
“It’s cold and I’m wearing these stupid high heels, not boots like you.”
“I’m walking.” April needed to reset her mind and mood before she saw Brant at the Watering Hole—assuming he even came.
“Fine.” Jackie fell into step beside her, leaving her sports car parked in front of April’s. Nothing in town was more than a dozen blocks away, and the saloon was only four from here.
After half a block, Jackie asked, “Do you miss him?”
“He’s been working a lot.”
“Are we talking about Heath or Brant?”
“What?”
“Why did you leave your horse with him? Cookies is like your second child.”
April’s shoulders sagged. “What else was I going to do? I can’t afford a horse right now.”
“Is that all it was?” Jackie stopped at the curb, under a streetlight. They were still a few blocks from the saloon, with no traffic in sight.
“Why did you stop?” April gestured to the road.
“Do you still love Heath?”
“We never loved each other.” The way she’d felt about him was nothing compared to how she felt about Brant.
“Then?”
“What are you getting at?” April asked, turning to face her friend.
Jackie began walking again, her high heels tapping on the asphalt as she crossed the intersection. She made jeans and heels look sexy, and April wondered if the outfit was intentionally chosen to help her stand out tonight and catch a certain someone’s attention.
“Where’s Brant? Is he meeting you there?”
“I don’t know.” The mascara April had swiped over her lashes felt heavy, as did her heart. Brant hadn’t taken her recent job change very well. She was still working at the clinic—and yet hardly ever seeing Brant there—as well as at Jenny’s, and it felt like most of her week’s earnings would be going toward day care.
But she was contributing to the household, not by taking money from Brant’s clinic just to give it back to him, but from somewhere else. And that felt good.
Brant’s reaction, however, didn’t feel good. When she’d called Jenny on Monday morning, April had been told she could start immediately. So she had. She’d planned to tell Brant about the new job at supper, but he’d found her in the boutique first. All week they’d avoided each other, the tension growing thick at home. In fact, he was barely there anymore, with emergency after emergency sweeping him away. She’d even checked up on him once, phoning the ranch he said he’d been called to. He was there. The emergency real.
She was growing paranoid, but neither of them was willing to admit to the wedge that seemed to slide further and further between them this week. It was worse than fighting. At least with a fight you got to air your grievances and maybe try to solve them.
Instead, he was simply absent, avoiding
her so he could avoid the issue. He’d even blown off date night without so much as a word. That had really left her feeling shaky inside.
“Are you okay?” Jackie asked, and April nodded. “I don’t think you are.”
“It’s just been a tough week, that’s all.”
“There’ve been a lot of adjustments in your life lately,” she said sympathetically. “You know, emotion-wise. As well as with work and at home…”
April nodded again, her eyes threatening to well up and betray the I’m-okay vibe she was trying to put out there. She’d expected her friend to crack a joke to lighten the mood, but instead she was being so empathetic it made April want to sit down on the curb and bawl.
“Hey, so big party tonight,” April said, determined to change the mood of their conversation, as well as the topic. “Cole’s still single, isn’t he?” She hadn’t heard any rumors about him seeing anyone in the five weeks he’d been home.
Jackie began walking faster.
“Are you chicken?” April chirped, catching up with her. Jackie wasn’t smiling and April frowned, confused by the way she was acting tonight.
“He’s not my type.”
“He’s a Wylder. They’re all your type. Plus you’ve been waiting for Cole since forever.”
“I’m not looking for a fling.”
“You know I don’t care if you go after him.”
“Thanks, but I’m not interested.”
“In fact, I think you guys would make a great couple.”
“Why? Because I can’t keep a man longer than a few months, and he’s the one they say puts the 'wild’ in Wylder?”
“No, because you’re both fun people,” April said, unable to come to grips with this change in Jackie. She’d been pining after Cole for eons. Why wouldn’t she go for him now that he was home and unattached? “I think you should kiss him tonight and see what happens.” She nudged her friend, trying to get her to smile and act more like herself.
“Are we giving each other love advice?” Jackie asked, turning abruptly. Her dark expression stopped April cold.
“Um...”
“You know any woman in town would be happy to have a man like Brant. He loves you. Just you. And you’re letting stupid stuff get in the way. He chose you. Try running with that instead of finding reasons not to.”