by Jenika Snow
"Yes, Daddy." I handed him the gravy boat, glancing at Bastian before going back to my dinner.
"You're awfully quiet tonight, honey." Dad narrowed his eyes at me. "Everything okay?"
"Yes," I muttered, avoiding his eyes. "Bastian, would you like some mashed potatoes?"
"Uh, sure." He wouldn't look at me, even when I handed him the bowl. "Thank you again for letting me stay the night, Aston."
"No problem. I thought you could do with a little holiday hospitality. You've been working yourself ragged."
All kinds of thoughts erupted in my mind, but they all revolved around Bastian working himself ragged. I'd do anything to watch him. I imagined his fingers wrapped around my panties after he found them under his pillow, jerking off his cock with fast, desperate motions, the lace sticking to him after he came.
I cleared my throat, busying myself with my plate while Dad and Bastian talked. Dinner took forever, and I finally excused myself twenty minutes later, leaving them to their nightly whiskey.
It wasn't until later, after I was leaving the bathroom, that I saw him again.
I was wearing my white fluffy robe, my face bare and my hair pinned up, when Bastian called out my name. Turning around, I came face-to-face with the man I'd loved forever.
"Yes?"
"About what happened before…" He looked down the hallway before approaching me. His hand lingered but never stopped on mine. Bastian pulled it back instead. "I don't think your father noticed anything."
"Good," I muttered. "Just what you wanted, isn't it?"
"Holly, please. You know I..."
"You what?" I asked after a moment's silence. "Tell me, Bastian."
He heaved a heavy sigh, and I could feel the burden I'd left on his shoulders, making him look more ruggedly handsome than ever. "You know I can't do it. I could never do this to your dad, Holly."
"Not even if..." I swallowed my next words. "Not even if I promised to make it worth it?"
He stared me down, his voice raspy as the next words slid from his lips. "How would you make it worth it, sugar plum?"
My heart raced as I took a step closer, fingers lingering on the belt of my dressing gown. I undid the bow at my hip, taking the sides of the robe in my hands and gently pulling them apart. Bastian's eyes grew troubled, slowly moving from my face down my entire body, as if he were trying to commit the sight to memory.
"Cover yourself up, Holly," he groaned.
I closed the robe again, tying the bow again. Leaning in close, I allowed my breath to tickle Bastian's ear, my heart pounding with the braveness I hadn't known I possessed.
"I'll be in my bedroom," I whispered. "Right down the hall from yours. And I'll be waiting, Bastian."
His guilt-stricken look burned my back as I turned around and walked away from him.
Four
Bastian
I didn’t know what I’d been thinking by going to her room and telling her that I was staying the night. She probably wouldn’t have even realized. I would’ve left before she even got up tomorrow morning. But a part of me wanted to see what her reaction would be.
I’d felt her gaze on me the entire time at dinner, and when I looked at her, I’d seen her physical reaction, the way her body stiffened, her pupils dilating. I wanted so desperately to believe that she wanted me as well, but it might just be my wishful thinking, my hopefulness that she could be mine, that had me thinking these things.
But I hadn’t been wrong. Because when she shut that door and told me what she wanted, that she wanted me to take her out, for her to be mine, I swore the fucking world stopped.
She wanted me to kiss her. That had been painfully obvious. And damn, I wanted to do that as well. The reality of the situation had settled like a cinder block in the pit of my stomach.
But her father had been right on the other side of the door, and this was his home; this was his daughter. I wanted to be respectful, but I was also madly in love with Holly. And the way she looked at me, the hopefulness, the arousal reflected back in her expression, I’d almost said fuck it all.
In fact, I’d just been about to lean in and kiss her when I’d heard my best friend’s voice come through the door, the slap of reality reminding me that what I was doing in his home was wrong.
And although I had no intention of walking away from Holly, didn’t see her as some child, but a curvy, luscious woman who wanted me, and only me, I knew I couldn’t stand back anymore. I had to tell Aston. I had to be honest and pray like hell he knew what I felt for Holly was exactly what was supposed to happen.
I went into the guest bedroom and shut the door, leaning against it for a moment as I thought about everything, as I pictured how all of this would play out. I wasn’t a man who was normally hesitant or terrified of things, but when it came to Holly and the situation, I was scared shitless.
I lifted my hand and ran my palm over my cheek and jaw, feeling the day’s worth of stubble over my skin. It would’ve been smarter if I just went to a hotel, but Aston had insisted I stay here. He was a damn good friend, but then again, if he knew the things I thought about where his daughter was concerned, he’d kick my ass until there was nothing left.
Fuck. I was in one hell of a situation.
I started getting undressed, going for the button of my shirt, popping it through the hole at the collar, and continued down until I could take the whole shirt off and toss it on the edge of the bed. I went for my belt and then my slacks. I was now in my boxer briefs, the rest of my clothes folded up so I could wear them tomorrow morning before I headed back to my apartment building, which hopefully could be entered by then.
I walked over to the other side of the bed and sat down, closing my eyes for a minute and rubbing my hand over the back of my head. I was exhausted, not so much physically but mentally, this war with my heart and mind enough to suck the life out of anybody.
When I opened my eyes again and looked over to the bedside table, the small clock sitting on the polished wood told me it was barely nine. I knew sleeping would probably be impossible. Although I was tired, a part of me was also wound up. In fact, my heart was still racing from the near kiss, from the things Holly had told me.
It was a small strip of pink I caught out the corner of my eye, and I looked over to the pillow, something peeking out from underneath it. It had a lacy edge, delicate and dainty. I knitted my brows and reached for it, hooking my finger along the edge and slowly dragging it out until it hung in front of me.
A deep, low groan left me when I realized exactly what I was holding.
Panties.
Holly’s panties.
Although she was the only female in the house, so it would’ve been obvious, I knew she specifically put these here for me. She made up my bed, left this little prize for me. She was a bad girl, so naughty yet innocent.
I brought that silky material closer to my face and looked at it. Holly was curvy and all woman, her body meant for a man to hold onto as he brought her to the throes of pleasure over and over again. And the underwear hinted at innocence and vulnerability, but also this little piece of sexiness I knew she held within herself.
And like a dirty fucking bastard, I brought those panties to my nose and closed my eyes as I inhaled deeply. God, she smelled sweet, like the nickname I gave her.
Sugar plums. Yeah, that’s what she smelled like, probably tasted like too.
I opened my eyes, my cock so fucking hard it was like this steel pipe I carried between my thighs. I looked down at the monster between my legs, the head of my dick pushing through the bottom of my boxer briefs. I could see pre-cum dotting the tip, and because I couldn’t help myself, I reached down and rubbed my palm up and down the length. I was rock-hard, so stiff that even my balls ached as they were drawn up tight to my body.
I looked behind me, even though I knew the bedroom door was shut. Then looking back at those panties, I adjusted the fabric so I could get an unobstructed view of the center of it, that piece of material that would�
��ve been right up against her pussy lips. I cleared my throat as desire washed through me like this violent beast. I reached down and pulled my dick out, slowly stroking myself from root to tip.
A harsh groan left me. And then I brought the crotch of her panties to my nose and mouth, closed my eyes as I inhaled deeply, taking in her scent into my very body. I jerked myself off as I held that material to my face, as I pictured my mouth between her thighs, my tongue pushed deep inside her tight little pussy.
And as I pumped my hand up and down, faster and harder along my dick, I knew there was no going back from this. There was no stopping it. I had to have her, not just in my bed and under me, not just with her legs spread and my shaft pushed deep within her virgin cunt, but as mine.
Only mine.
My wife.
The mother of my future children.
My everything.
And those were the things I thought about as I brought her underwear to the crown of my dick, rubbed the silky material over the top, and stroked my palm up and down the length. I pumped my hand harder and faster and gritted my teeth as I let go and came against that material. I saturated that silk with my cum, imagining me doing that along her pussy lips, along her belly.
And in my mind, she fucking loved it.
Fuck. I had it bad for her. But it was a good kind of bad, the kind that showed a person exactly how far a man would go to get what he wanted.
And what I wanted was her, and I wouldn’t stop until I made that my reality. Damn the consequences.
Five
Holly
Rosie had spent the better part of the day convincing me to join her for a fraternity party that night. I hadn't been as thrilled as she was about the prospect, but she'd managed to win me over, making me agree to go to the party with her.
My thoughts still revolved solely around Bastian, but I forced myself to push him out of my mind to focus on other things. I hadn't seen him that week, and our weekly lunch wasn't for another few days. I missed him. I wanted him. But I wasn't brave enough to make another move. Not after he hadn't even mentioned what happened last time.
"You need to get your mind off him," Rosie told me, linking her arm through mine as we walked down the sidewalk toward the fraternity house.
"A part of me wishes I could. But I can't." I sighed, pulling my quilted jacket tight over my chest with my free hand. "I can't think of anything but him. I haven't been able to for years, Rosie."
"Well, New Year's Eve will be your next chance." Rosie winked at me. "I'm sure he won't be able to resist you, especially in that knockout dress you bought."
"I hope you're right."
We arrived at the party house. The road was full of cars parked anywhere there was space, and the house itself was illuminated in Christmas lights. The music was loud and a little obnoxious, but it was a college party, so I didn't expect anything less. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to go with her.
Still, it was hard for me to get in the holiday mood. I kept thinking about Bastian.
Whether he'd found a date for the charity function yet.
If he'd take another woman.
Would he think about me if he was holding her hand? Kissed her?
Jealousy twisted my stomach into knots, and I swallowed back a groan. This party would be a nightmare to get through, but I couldn't break my promise to Rosie.
We walked into the overheated house. It was so hot in there that I peeled off my jacket and cardigan right away, leaving on just a short red-and-white polka dot dress that was a pin-up style. We stashed our coats in one of the empty bedrooms and walked back downstairs to where a drinking area had been set up.
I wasn't much of a drinker. In fact, I could count the times I'd been drunk on... well, two fingers. But that night, I felt like I had nothing to lose, so I allowed Rosie to hand me a red Solo cup of “punch” and started drinking in long, thirsty gulps. Anything to make me forget about Bastian. Anything to get my mind off him.
"You know Sean's a part of Kappa Delta Phi, right?" Rosie whisper-hissed at me, and I shrugged at her. "Come on! How can you not care? He's the hottest guy in our class."
"He's not Bastian," I muttered more to myself than to her, making my friend groan out loud. "What?" I was defensive now. I shrugged. "I can't help it. All the other guys are just little boys compared to him."
"I know what you mean," Rosie murmured wistfully, making me shoot a curious glance in her direction. "But we both need a distraction, so let's just have a good time tonight and focus on Bastian again tomorrow, okay?"
I reluctantly agreed, and she poured another ladleful of punch into my cup. We made our way to the main room, and I sipped on my drink quietly while Rosie chatted with a girl from our class. Sure enough, I saw Sean in the corner of the room. He waved at me with a sly smile playing on his lips, and while I waved back, I had no intention of spending the evening in his company. It only served as a bitter reminder of the man I couldn't have.
"Are you going to mope all night?" Rosie teased me a few minutes later. "Come on, try to relax at least a little bit."
"I am relaxed." I downed another glass of punch, muttering the next few words. "I just wish I was somewhere else."
I didn't want to upset Rosie, but I also really didn't want to be there. And the punch was barely having an effect on me. I was stone-cold sober and even more painfully aware of Bastian's absence, so I decided to go for a cranberry vodka for my next drink. The first sip revealed I'd mixed too strong a drink, and I grimaced at the glass. At least it would make me forget.
That was my first mistake, trying to forget.
Over the next few hours, the party got wilder and wilder. Rosie stayed by my side, even though I tried to convince her I was fine, but by then I was slurring my words and I could tell she wasn't buying it. Sean kept looking over at me with an amused expression, and I felt more out of place at a party with people my age than I ever did around Dad and Bastian, who were twice my age. The vodka cranberries became progressively less bitter and more delicious as I emptied glass after glass. By midnight, I was drunk. And not the kind of drunk I had been the other two times I'd had a couple too many.
"I just had a brilliant idea!" Rosie shrieked, coming back to sit by me with another drink and a toothy grin that spoke of mischief.
"What is it?" I gulped down the juice, giving her a suspicious look. That drink didn't taste like vodka at all, and I suspected she'd kept the booze out to make me sober up a bit. I was grateful she was watching out for me, but I wanted a distraction. I needed to forget about Bastian.
She gave me a sneaky grin as she got on the couch next to me. The party was in full force around us. There were two kegs, someone doing a headstand on one of them, a game of strip poker happening in the kitchen, and all kinds of debauchery upstairs, and yet, all I could think about was the man I could never have.
"You got Bastian's number?" Rosie asked me as she folded her legs under her, snuggling up to me.
"Yeah."
"We're going to text him." Rosie rummaged in my clutch until she pulled out my phone, a devious smile on her face as her fingers raced over the screen.
"Rosie, no!" I giggled, but my heart still pounded at the thought. Texting Bastian in the middle of the night was not a good idea at all… but I was too tipsy to care and too desperate not to want it. If there was even the slightest chance of him replying, of talking to him, I was going to take it. "Oh my gosh, what are you texting him?"
"Something that will get his attention." She fired off the text and triumphantly handed me the phone. "There. Bet you anything he replies within minutes."
I started giggling, and a couple seconds into it, Rosie joined in too until we were both folded over on the couch, laughing our hearts out. I almost missed my phone ringing on my lap, but when I felt it vibrating, I jumped up and down with excitement. "He's calling me, Rosie! He's actually calling me!"
"Well, what are you waiting for? Pick up, woman."
I took a deep
breath before finally answering the call with a breathy “Hello.” I could barely hear Bastian over the sound of the music in the living room, unable to make out his words. I pressed a hand over the phone and made my way out of the room, onto the lawn. "What? I can't hear you."
"I asked where the party was." Bastian's voice was cool and collected like it always was. "Tell me, sugar plum." But there was an edge to it. He was angry.
"The Kappa Delta Phi house on campus. Why?" I furrowed my brow. "My dad knows I'm here, if that's why you're asking."
"I'm asking," he went on, "because I'm going to pick you up."
My stomach erupted in butterflies and I could barely hide my excitement. "Okay, Bastian. I'll wait for you." I blew a kiss into the phone, giggling before I cut the call.
Stumbling back inside the house, I located Rosie on the couch, downing another drink. I gently pried the glass out of her hands and filled her in. I soon realized she was barely listening. I'd had too much to drink, but Rosie had even more. I sat with her on the couch, cradling her head on my lap, while I waited for my knight in shining armor. I didn't have to wait for long.
Bastian's electric presence took up the whole room the moment he entered. With my eyes fixed on the front door, I saw him the moment he walked in, his expression dark and stormy as he scoured the place for me. Our eyes met across the room and I swallowed thickly, feeling the pressure rising between us. He looked mad a moment ago, but the moment he saw me, his gaze softened, a smile taking over his face and his eyes crinkling as he made his way toward me.
"Got yourself in some trouble, sugar plum?" he asked me as he stopped in front of the couch.
"Just a little bit."
"Don't worry," he went on, kneeling next to me and Rosie in my lap. "I'm here to help."
"Thank you, Bastian," I managed. He looked so out of place here, among all the college fraternity boys. But I still only had eyes for him—no one else mattered. "Are you going to take me home?"