He immediately hopped up and came to help me. We made it down to the grass, and I watched my brothers running around playing keep-away with the new puppy and Cole. It looked like we were little children again, and I couldn’t help feeling the urge to jump in. The puppy was growing fast, and it was so much fun to watch her run and jump, flopping around in the grass and delightedly climbing on the logs and benches. We didn’t bother to light the fire that night because it was so hot, so I didn’t feel worried about her safety. I was enjoying seeing her be so free and full of life.
Having a pet wasn’t something I’d ever thought about. Working so much wasn’t exactly conducive to being at home and seeing to the needs of an animal. Up until fairly recently when I forced myself to start cooking more for myself, I could barely keep myself fed and would often forget things like bringing my clothes to the dry cleaner or starting the dishwasher. For as much control and organization I had in the office, my personal life was often a mess. I didn’t want to entrust myself with the life of another living creature. But seeing this little one bounce around might have been changing my mind.
It surprised the hell out of me I was actually considering getting myself a dog. But the more I watched her, the more I thought maybe it would help the loneliness that had taken over my heart. It was hard to admit that, but I could. I had gotten to that place now that I really could admit it. I was lonely. And it was my own damn fault. I went about pursuing my attraction to Merry exactly the wrong way and lost out on any chance of actually trying to have an honest relationship with her. Close bonds and love like my parents had between them didn’t come from two illicit sexual encounters at work. That type of thing made really being together impossible. So, my coping mechanism at that point was doing the only thing that made sense to do.
I was drinking my feelings.
I sat in one of the lounge chairs and took down what I wanted to say with my third beer but could possibly be much further down the line than that. I’d stopped really counting. It wasn’t the most responsible choice in the world, but I wasn’t batting a thousand with my decision-making skills recently, so I wasn’t going to worry about it so much. A few minutes later, Dad came up to me.
“Is there anything else I have in the house we need to get?” he asked.
“No,” I told him. “We got everything.”
“Do you want to go check?” he asked.
I knew that was code. It meant get up and come with me because we need to have a talk. That was a departure from the normal. Usually it was my mother who cornered me for a heart-to-heart talk. Or a good tongue-lashing when she felt I needed it. But this time it was my father who was stepping in to try to drag my out-of-control train to a stop. Finishing off the rest of the beer, I followed him up the steps onto my back deck. I tossed the bottle into the recycling bin and dropped down onto the swinging glider in one corner. Dad sat down beside me, and for a few seconds we just swung back and forth in silence.
Finally, he tilted his head slightly toward me.
“You know, your mom kicked me to the curb for a solid year,” he said.
“Wait, what? When?”
“Oh a long time ago now.”
“What did you do?” I asked.
“I crawled my way back to her,” he said. “It took me that long to get over myself and realized what needed to be done. I did it, though, and it’s been the two of us ever since. I can’t imagine anyone else in my life. That woman is my life, and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat, but if I had to I do it all again, I would go back to her the next day. Pride and feeling too manly and powerful be damned. When it’s worth it, it’s worth groveling for.”
He got up after that and walked away. It was a very short heart to heart, but it made a major impact on me. I had no idea that had happened between my parents. All that mattered was my dad messed up in some way and my mother kicked him out of her life, then held her ground while she waited for him to realize what he did.
It took him humbling himself and being able to admit he wasn’t always right, that he not only did something wrong, that he absolutely needed her. That was probably the hardest part. Admitting to being wrong wasn’t usually that much of a challenge. Especially not when you had three brothers who were more than willing to step up and show you all the ways that you were wrong. What was harder was admitting my fear that there was a place in my heart that was so open to Merry. I didn’t want there to be. I didn’t want there to be a place open for anybody. It was too much vulnerability, too much possibility of being hurt again.
But, actually, I did want it to be there for her. More than I could have ever imagined I wanted it. The conversation left me wondering just how much my family really knew about what happened between Merry and me. Obviously, they knew we’d had a fling. That’s what we told them. But it seemed they could sense something else. I wondered how much they could see, and even more than that, if she could see it too. If there was ever a chance she might be able to forgive me.
The chances didn’t seem great. She all but hid behind people at the tailgate party in her efforts not to be within a few feet of me, and when I ran into her at the office unexpectedly, she just stared at me without a word. Of course, I didn’t say anything to her, either. I couldn’t. The music blaring caught my attention, and I went in search of the computer or radio someone had obviously left playing when we headed to the race. But then I discovered it wasn’t something someone left on by accident. It was Merry, hanging out in her office and humming to the music as she swayed back and forth, staring at the tablet in her hands.
I’d seen her look at her tablet, checking over things and adding to the platforms, countless times by then. But it was different seeing her do it with the music streaming around the office and her wearing nothing but little shorts and a tank top. It was like seeing a completely different side of her, a glimpse into a more real version of her that few probably got to enjoy. I wanted to say something to her. Anything. But I knew if I stepped even one foot into that office or she got any closer to me, I wasn’t going to be able to control my actions. I couldn’t let that happen again.
34
Merry
The complex went back to normal on Monday, and everything was business as usual by Tuesday. I’d finally been working on the social media platforms long enough that real data was coming in. Sometimes it was difficult to explain that to businesses when I first started working for them. They wanted to see immediate and astonishing results they could easily measure. They seemed to think a couple of tweets and a blog post or two would instantly transform their visibility and make them more appealing. While that was possible, they really couldn’t expect everything to go viral and become the next internet sensation.
It really didn’t work that way most of the time. Of course, if it was a brand-new company that never had any social media presence before, the difference between nothing and how they would interact when things got up and going was noticeable. And if something caught on exceptionally well, there could definitely be a noticeable spike instantly. A really impressive campaign, a well-placed post or retweet that got the attention of somebody influential. Those could mean massive things for a company. But usually they didn’t last long. A big jump in popularity and traffic was great, but what really mattered was sustainability. In order for a company to find and maintain success in the long term, they had to keep up with the traffic and maintain their hold on the attention and interest of customers.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t always easy. With a world that had become more and more reliant on technology, people were accustomed to having endless amounts of information and entertainment right at their fingertips. They didn’t have the patience to keep up with something that wasn’t keeping them fully engaged and offering benefit at all times. Which was why the long-term numbers were more important than any sudden short-term successes. I’d been working on the Freeman Racing campaign long enough to be starting to get those details, and things were looking good.
“Is it already time for lunch?” I asked.
“It was time for lunch about an hour ago,” he said.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said. “You should have come and gotten me. I’ve been so wrapped up in getting these numbers and interacting with the fans, I didn’t even realize time was going by. You must be starving. What do you want to eat today?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Brandon said. “I figured you were probably lost in the land of virtual people, so I got you covered.” He held up two large box lunches and a half-gallon of sweet tea. “How does a picnic sound?”
I let out a sigh. “It sounds glorious. Let’s go.”
I walked out into the hallway and saw he already had the picnic blanket out of the trunk and waiting. Leaning down to pick it up off the floor, I followed him outside and into the heat. As hot as the afternoons were, I would much rather be out in the fresh air than stuck inside any day. We walked right to the field and settled under my favorite tree. Brandon handed me my box, and I eagerly opened it, taking out the egg salad sandwich he’d chosen for me.
“How’s that?” he asked, knowing I’d been struggling to eat recently.
“Actually, I feel fine. Maybe we’ve landed on something.”
He grinned and nodded. “That’s good to hear. You really should go to the doctor and talk to them about what’s been going on. This stomach bug of yours has been going on for a while, and nobody else has gotten sick.”
Rather than answering him, I took a giant bite of the egg salad. It was delicious and I suddenly felt like I could eat a dozen of them. Before I was able to take another bite, I heard a strange high-pitched sound followed by a shout. Seconds later, something black and floppy hopped up and snatched my sandwich right out of my hand. Brandon and I laughed as we watched the puppy wrestle with the sandwich for a few seconds before gobbling it down.
Quentin ran up clutching a pink leash. He stopped and hunched over, pressing his hands to his eyes and drawing in a few deep breaths. I wondered how long he’d been running around chasing the puppy.
“Rosie, no,” he finally managed to get out.
That made me laugh even harder.
“I think it’s too late,” I told him.
The black Lab puppy licked her lips and immediately padded over to Brandon. Placing her round paws on his leg, she stretched and strained, sitting and trying to get to his food. But he was holding it over his head so she couldn’t get to it. Even as he was holding it away from her, he was laughing and rubbing the puppy with his other hand.
“I’m sorry,” Quentin said. “She got away from me.”
“No problem,” Brandon said. “It just so happens I ordered her an extra sandwich.”
The promise of another egg salad sandwich had me digging around in my box, and I promptly pulled it out and unwrapped it. Quentin crouched down and scratched the puppy on the back of her head.
“I just got her yesterday,” he told us. “They assured me she would be very easy to train and would do anything I wanted her to do. That’s only accurate if what I wanted to do was train myself for a marathon. She hates her leash with a passion, as you have just witnessed. And stealing food is her favorite pastime. As you also just witnessed. I have fed her, I promise.”
“It’s fine,” I reassured him. “We had a chocolate Lab when we were younger. They have a lot of energy, but they’re great dogs. And ours ate her fair share of sandwiches, too.”
Quentin scooped up the wriggling puppy and gave her a kiss on the side of the face.
“Well, at least that’s good to hear. I didn’t want to think I had gotten a defective Lab or anything.”
I laughed. “She’s really precious. Even if she is defective, you should definitely keep her. I didn’t know you were even thinking about getting a puppy.”
“I wasn’t, actually,” he told us.
“I’ve been kind of lonely recently, so getting myself a companion seemed like a good idea.”
He was looking directly at me when he said it, and I felt something tremble through me. I didn’t know what to do with the surprising revelation, so I didn’t respond. Instead, I filed it away for later.
“Did she already have the name Rosie when you got her, or did you name her that?” I asked.
I didn’t really know why I asked that question. Whether I actually had any interest in knowing how he came up with a name for his puppy, or if I just wanted him to stay with us a little longer. I wouldn’t let myself dwell on the reasoning for very long.
“I gave it to her,” he said. “When I went to choose which puppy I wanted, they were all wearing bandanas around their necks. Hers was covered in little roses, and I thought she was such a pretty girl she should have a pretty name.”
“What happened to her bandana?” Brandon asked.
“She ate it,” Quentin said matter-of-factly.
Brandon and I both laughed. Quentin attached the leash to Rosie’s collar, and the puppy immediately started to roll around and thrash like she was being tortured. He lowered down to the grass, and she rolled around, turning her head to try to shoo away the leash.
“Yep,” I said. “I can see how much she loves that.”
“She’s getting used to it,” Quentin said. “I’m trying to turn her into one of those dogs I can bring everywhere with me. You know the annoying ones who have their own seat at the Thanksgiving table and ride in the passenger seat of car.”
“What’s the point of having a dog if they aren’t that type of dog?” Brandon asked.
“Exactly,” Quentin said with a laugh. He reached down and gently pushed Rosie’s face away from her leash. “All right, well, I’m going to go back to attempting to walk her. You two enjoy your lunch. I have a feeling with her around, I’ll be having lunch out here a lot more often.”
“You’re always welcome to join us,” Brandon said. “Plenty of tree to go around.”
Quentin’s eyes moved over to me, and my heart rate picked up a few notches.
“Anytime,” I told him.
He smiled and walked away, trying to encourage the puppy to come along with him. She wasn’t having it, though, and he ended up dragging her more than she was walking. Soon she even gave that up and relaxed completely, finally starting to roll along the grass as he walked. It didn’t seem to bother her at all, and I couldn’t help but laugh when Quentin stopped and turned around to give her a look. Rosie looked right back at him, her little tail wagging and beating against the ground. He shook his head and scooped her up, giving her another kiss and cuddling her close to his chest as he walked away.
When he was out of sight, I turned back to my brother. Brandon was watching me, giving me a knowing smile.
“What?” I asked. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Really?” he asked. “You’re going to give me the innocent act?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I told him, taking another bite of my sandwich and reaching into the box for my cheese wafer.
“All right,” Brandon said. “If that’s how you want to be about it.” He finished his sandwich, and we sat in silence for a few moments as he tore a chunk out of his cupcake. “But I think you know what I’m talking about.”
I sighed.
“Brandon…”
“Look, I don’t know exactly what happened between the two of you but hear me out. I get being hurt. But maybe, just maybe, you two deserve a second chance. I know there are things you aren’t telling me ab
out what went down and everything that’s going on, but he is still a good guy,” he said.
“I know he is,” I said.
“Then maybe you should stop being so difficult and believe there could be something for you. There are really good relationships in the world, Merry. And that’s coming from a guy who is right smack in the middle of an ugly divorce, so it means extra coming from me.”
I swatted him playfully and went back to eating, but his words stuck with me for the rest of the day. He was right. Quentin really was a good guy. But it wasn’t so easy as just knowing he was a good guy and being willing to get over the fear of being hurt and try again.
I still had my secret, and that was going to change everything.
35
Quentin
Adopting Rosie was somewhat of an impulsive decision. I was going to be the first to admit that. I saw Cole enjoying his puppy so much and brightening up just because of it, and I wanted that. I wanted to have a companion with me and to not feel so lonely and isolated all the time. But I didn’t spend a tremendous amount of time thinking about what it was actually going to be like to have that puppy and getting myself ready for it. But I was tossed right into the deep end and thought I was doing fairly well with it considering it was the first time I’d ever actually taken care of a puppy.
My brothers and I had pets when we were growing up, but not a lot of them, and they were never babies. My mother had a soft spot for animals and didn’t like the idea of going to a breeder and buying a puppy or kitten, or specifically seeking out a young animal just because it was cute. Instead, she wanted to give a loving home to an animal who needed it, and so we had cats and dogs who are already older when we got them. They were wonderful and I loved having them, but it was definitely a different experience than bringing home a young puppy and starting from scratch. We were both figuring things out together.
The Freeman Brothers: A Secret Baby Romance Collection Page 18