“Hi there, Darren,” she said. “Having a good night?”
“Hey, Lindsey,” I said. I looked at Kelly and gestured at her. “This is Kelly. Kelly, this is Lindsey. She owns the bar.”
“Nice to meet you,” Lindsey said, her eyes moving up and down Kelly as she sized her up.
There was a gleam in those eyes that told me she hadn’t come over here on her own volition. Nick would be hearing all the details about this.
“Can I get some nachos, Lindsey?” I asked, wanting to end the slightly uncomfortable standoff.
“Absolutely. You’re the birthday boy,” she said. “Coming right up.”
She walked away, and when we were alone again, I turned back to Kelly.
“You’re back,” I said. “I think.”
“You think?” she asked, and then she seemed to realize what I was saying. “You think I was lying when I left that note for you?”
“I don’t want to think you were,” I said.
This might be already going downhill. Maybe that wasn’t the best choice of words. Kelly stared at me for a second, and then her shoulders dropped just slightly, and she shook her head.
“I wasn’t. I really did have to leave the next morning. My twin sister and I were only visiting Charlotte for a short time, and that was the day we were set to go home to Canada,” she told me.
That was the accent. I’d never been able to place it but could only remember her voice was so soft and lovely. And now I knew why.
“What brings you back now?” I asked.
“To Charlotte or to this bar?” she asked with a slight smile.
“I mean, both, but we’ll start with the bar. Why did you come here specifically?” I asked.
I didn’t see any of the friends who she was with the night we’d met. In fact, it seemed she was completely alone. Kelly looked at the bottle of beer she held between her hands, and a faint smile came to her lips.
“To toast you,” she answered.
Now it was my turn to be shocked. And a bit confused.
“To toast me?” I asked.
She nodded. “For the last three years, I’ve had a drink for you on your birthday. This year, since I was back in town, I figured why not come back to the bar that started it all. You didn’t seem terribly comfortable here then, so I didn’t think you would actually come back. Not for your birthday, anyway.”
I wanted to ask so many questions. There was so much to unpack about what she’d just said. On one hand she said she had a drink for me every year on my birthday and had come back to this bar because it was where we’d met, but she also made it a point to say she didn’t think I would come back here. What could she mean by that? I wanted to dig into it, but I heard my name from the other side of the bar.
I look back to the table and saw my buddy Colby leaning toward me, gesturing for me to come back. A devotee of CrossFit, he looked somewhat out of place with a beer in one hand and half a massive burger in the other. But he was having a good time, and the truth was he was there for me. They were in the midst of celebrating my birthday without me, and I couldn’t get away with just ignoring them. I waved at him to let him know I would be there in a second, then turned back to Kelly. Snatching a pen from behind the cash register nearby, I picked up a napkin and jotted down my phone number.
Just then Lindsey came up with my order of nachos. I took them from her before she could set them down and waited for her to turn away again. I handed Kelly the napkin and made sure she looked at it.
“Call me. Please,” I said, then took my plate and headed back to the table, hoping my face didn’t show the storm of emotion I was feeling inside.
4
Kelly
I watched Darren walk away with a knot in my stomach and a lump in my throat. There were so many different thoughts and emotions that went into both, I barely had time to process them all. That was the last thing I thought was going to happen when I walked into the bar that night. Now that it happened, I didn’t know how to feel about it or what I was going to do next. When he was back at the table with the three men I recognized as the brothers he’d pointed out to me the first night we’d met along with several others, I looked down at the napkin he handed me. The phone number written across it seemed legitimate. That was a completely ridiculous thought to even go through my mind, but after everything I’d been through, there was always an edge of uncertainty and nervousness about nearly everything. Of course, there was no reason for him to give me a fake phone number. What would he get out of that? Yet it seemed too good, too perfect just to happen this way.
Folding the napkin carefully to avoid damaging the number in any way, I tucked it in my pocket and downed the rest of the bottle of beer. It was the same type I’d had with him the night we met; the same type I had every year on his birthday. I gestured to the bartender and tossed some cash on the top of the bar before slipping out. When I got outside, I drew in a deep breath. It felt like the first breath I’d taken since I laid eyes on Darren. I’d been holding back all the others, not sure what was going to happen, not knowing what to do. Running into him tonight seemed almost poetic.
It was short-sighted of me, but when I’d decided to go there, my first thought was that he walked out of the bar with me that night and never went back. It only made sense. He looked out of place and uncomfortable, even when he was dancing and laughing. It was like someone who hates water going out on a boat and managing to have a good time. It didn’t mean they suddenly like the water or would jump at the chance to go again.
Apparently, I was wrong. He mentioned it was not only a tradition to go to the bar on his birthday, but that he went fairly frequently. The thought struck me that if I had been trying to find Darren, I probably never would. But because he was on my mind and I wanted a few moments to think about him, but not see him because I wasn’t ready yet, there he was.
It was so much, so fast. I was on my way to being an American citizen, which in any other circumstance would mean I could possibly try to have a real relationship with him. In any other circumstance—not mine. The massive secret I was holding close to my chest kept it from being that simple.
I let out a shuddering breath as I climbed into my car and took a second to myself to try to calm my emotions. Part of me wanted to laugh. Part of me wanted to cry. I couldn’t figure out which was more appropriate, so I didn’t do either and cranked the engine over to head to the little apartment I’d just moved into. From outside I could see the blue flashing glow of the TV bouncing through the window of the darkened living room. It told me everything was settling down for the night, just as I expected. I went inside and found Flora sitting on the couch. She looked relaxed, blanket from the back pulled down over her legs and her head propped in her hand as she rested her elbow on the arm of the couch beside her. The table in front of her had the remnants of a pizza dinner she’d ordered, and I had the urge to toss myself into the chair beside her and tuck into a few cheesy slices.
She looked up as I came into the room and smiled.
“Home already?” she asked. “I figured you’d be out a bit longer.”
I shrugged as I kicked off my shoes.
“I got everything I needed taken care of,” I told her, not going into any detail.
My landlord had helped me hire Flora when I mentioned needing a babysitter so I could go about the tasks of getting settled into our new home. Our new city. Our new country. It was such a huge change, but I knew it was the right thing. I was still trying to get everything in place, and Flora had been a godsend. I reached into my purse and pulled out some cash, holding it out to her.
“Thanks, as always,” I said. “I really appreciate it.”
“Absolutely,” Flora said. “Call me anytime.” She sat up and reached for the plates on the table. “I was going to get this cleaned up before you got back.”
I shook my head. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.”
She smiled and stepped into her shoes. Grabbing her ba
g, she said good night and left. I walked down the hallway and stopped at the door to the smaller of the two bedrooms. Carefully pushing open the slightly cracked door, I peeked in at Willa. She was sound asleep, her little face looking sweet and peaceful through the mesh of the bedrails set up on the side of her mattress. I wanted to go in and kiss her but didn’t want to disturb her, so I backed out carefully. My room was at the end of the hall, and I walked inside feeling suddenly drained.
I took the folded napkin out of my pocket and looked at it again for a few seconds before setting it down on the bedside table. I flopped facedown on the bed and groaned into the pillow. I didn’t know what to do. This wasn’t how I’d planned any of this to happen. Now that it had, I had to decide what I was going to do about it. Darren had given me his phone number and asked me to call him. Obviously, he wanted to talk to me. He likely wanted to talk about what happened between us and maybe even what could happen moving forward. But if I did that, if I picked up the phone and called him, I would have to be honest with him. I’d have to tell him my secret, and I just wasn’t ready for that. There was more that needed to be done first before I could put myself in the place to handle that.
I needed to give myself a couple of days to really think about it. I needed to decide whether I wanted to talk to him again at all, much less when. Seeing him again hit me harder than I ever could have expected it to. Not that I thought it would be easy or that I would be able to just sail through it without any emotional reaction at all. Obviously, it was going to be difficult. There were going to be emotions I was going to have to deal with. But I wasn’t expecting them to be that intense that fast. I had been thinking about him for three years, and there were many times when I’d tried to imagine what it would be like to be in the same room with him again. What I would say to him when I saw him face-to-face. I needed some time to really let it all sink in and come to terms with what was right for my daughter and me.
As much as I wanted to just lie there, I didn’t want to face the uncomfortable aftermath of waking up from sleeping in my clothes and my makeup. I dragged myself up out of the bed and went into the bathroom across the hall from Willa’s room to take a shower. The hot water was soothing, and I stood beneath it for as long as I dared. I was back in my bedroom getting into my pajamas when my phone pinged, alerting me to a new text message. My heart leapt into my throat, and for a second, I was admittedly freaking out. Then my mind settled down as I remembered Darren had given me his phone number, but I hadn’t given him mine. There would be no way for him to text me.
I scooped up the phone and saw Kira’s name on the screen. Of course it was my sister. She checked in with me every night, maintaining a connection with me even while we were far apart. My twin was older than me by only five minutes, but she took those five minutes very seriously. There were times when she acted more like my mother than my sister, wanting to take care of me and sometimes drifting close to meddling in my life. She had only loving intentions and really wanted what was best for me. And I couldn’t really fault her for getting involved. It wasn’t like I did anything to keep her out of it. In fact, I made sure she was kept up to date with every detail of my life. It was hard not to. She’d been right by my side during everything and talking to her was what got me through.
That also meant she already knew what was happening that night. She knew I’d gone to the bar that night and exactly why. While she didn’t quite understand my compulsion to toast Darren on his birthday, she respected it and supported me in doing whatever I needed to help me cope. It wasn’t that she thought I shouldn’t be thinking about Darren or that he should be totally out of my mind. Quite the opposite. In my sister’s mind, there was much more I should be doing than just privately honoring Darren on his birthday. She was fully of the belief I needed to tell him my secret. In fact, she believed I should have a long time ago.
I called her and waited through three rings for her to answer.
“Are you all right?” she asked instantly.
“That’s an uplifting way to answer the phone,” I commented.
“I’m sorry. I was worried about you. Hi.”
“Hi,” I said.
“Did you go?” Kira asked.
“I did. It was exactly like I remembered. Right down to the boy who came up to me at the bar.”
5
Darren
Running into Kelly kind of threw off my birthday celebration. After seeing her, it wasn’t like I could just go back to hanging out with everybody and pretend things were the same. I went back to the table and sat down. Almost instantly another drink appeared in front of me, but I’d lost interest. I used the plate of nachos to nudge it away and stuffed my mouth full of chips and cheese so it wouldn’t seem as unusual that I didn’t jump right into the conversation going on around me. Fortunately, my friends and family were more than happy to pick up my slack in the drinking department. They seemed to have gotten through another couple of rounds of shots while I was at the bar and were well on their way to having a very good time.
The drinking helped to distract them from noticing the shift in my mood. It wasn’t that I was upset or angry. I was just taken off guard and didn’t really know what to think. While my brothers and our friends sat around laughing and talking, my mind wandered back to my one night with Kelly. It was by far not the first time I’d thought about that night in the last three years. My thoughts frequently went back to those few hours and the incredible time I’d spent with the unforgettable woman.
Even three years later, I could remember every detail, from the way her hair smelled to the taste of her lips. I could still feel the way she fit in my arms and hear the sounds that poured from her as I brought her body to ecstasy. I couldn’t let go of those memories and didn’t want to. It wasn’t pathetic I told myself. It wasn’t just me clinging to the one-night stand because it was the only thing I had, or that I was so wrapped up in her I hadn’t been able to move forward in my life at all. I’d had sex since my night with Kelly. Good sex. Maybe even great sex. But even then, nothing hit that same connection she and I had. There was something about her I didn’t get enough of, and that was what stayed with me.
I left the bar relatively early and went home to the same house. Taking the plate my mother had given me as I left her house after my also-traditional birthday dinner, I went into my bedroom and stripped down to my boxers. Sitting in the middle of my bed, I turned on my favorite movie and dug into the massive wedge of birthday cake Mom baked for me. That was one thing I could always rely on from my mother. If she was stressed, anxious, or particularly happy, she was in the kitchen baking. The combination of racing season and my birthday meant her house and the kitchen at the racing complex were overrun with goodies. My cake was my favorite rich, fudgy chocolate, and I ate my way through the whole slab before getting ready for bed and falling into a dream-filled sleep.
It might not have been the most raucous of birthday celebrations but stopping after only a couple shots did have a few distinct benefits. One became more obvious Monday morning when I showed up for my workout with Colby and found him still feeling the effects. Usually he was already partway through a workout when I arrived at the studio and used it as a chance to taunt me, but this time I pulled into the parking lot before his car was even there. I checked the time and saw it was a couple of minutes after our normal meeting time. He finally pulled in right as I was about to call him to make sure everything was all right.
Colby parked next to me and got out of the car wearing sunglasses. I laughed.
“Have too much fun?” I asked.
He grunted at me and reached into his back seat to yank out his gym bag.
“I had to make up for you,” he muttered. “Who has a birthday celebration and leaves their guests to do all the drinking for them?”
“I don’t think there’s a quota,” I pointed out.
We went into the gym and got started with our training. I’d been working out hard for the last several months, tryin
g to get into better shape in hopes of upping my racing game even more. Though I’d been successful and was making even more of a name for myself in the circuit, I never wanted to be complacent. It was never lost on me that the other racers were driven to knock me off the top and take over the position. My success was a motivation to them. When I did well, it forced them to work harder so they could try to do better than me the next time. It was my mission to not let that happen. I had my taste of being at the top of the industry, and I wasn’t willing to just let it go.
The goal was to trim down and get stronger so I could stay in better control of the bike and shave off some time on my runs to get me even further ahead of the pack. When I first started with Colby, doing CrossFit completely kicked my ass. I’d been getting better since then, and that morning I felt particularly skilled. Of course, that came mostly from the fact that Colby was far from his usual self. He was dragging, which let me for once perform better than he was at the circuits.
I got a few laughs in at his expense, savoring my one opportunity to feel superior to him knowing full well the next time we were in the gym he would bury me. And chances where he would make sure I didn’t forget my crowing and I would come to greatly regret it. But that was a problem for future me. Right now, I was more than enjoying seeing him struggle a bit.
“So, what happened at the bar?” he asked after half an hour of sweating and forcing his body to move helped get rid of the fog.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Come on. You know what I mean,” he said. I did and was actually surprised it took him so long to bring it up. “We had just gotten there, you had one shot, and then you wandered off. You spent a few minutes talking to a good-looking girl, then came back to the table without her. Then you spent the rest of the night brooding.”
The Freeman Brothers: A Secret Baby Romance Collection Page 24