by Nyssa Renay
“You know why.”
“It’s not fair.”
“I know.” I put my arms around her. “Good luck with your graduation,” I said as I let her go.
“You, too,” she replied sadly as I walked out of the room.
-88-
I returned to my room. My chest was heavy now with nerves and I tried to shake them off by checking my bags repetitively. I wanted to push away every thought in my head—Eeliyah, Raxis, the war, graduation, everything—but I couldn’t. I don’t know how much time passed exactly, but before I knew it, there was a knock at my door.
It was time.
“Are you ready, Vigil?” Shepherd Diabelle asked as I swung open the door.
“I am.”
“Follow me,” Shepherd Diabelle instructed. I walked behind her as she led me from the shepherds’ tower and across the academy grounds to my new future. Every place we passed by brought back a flood of memories for me, and this route felt more like a tour of my life than a march to my graduation ritual. We passed the Grove of Atonement and the chow halls where I’d worked and trained incredibly hard for so many years. We passed the track where Diabelle severely punished me for my actions that night at the royal dinner. We passed the dormitories where I’d slept uneasily at night over electrified floors. And finally, we came to the administrator’s building where I was placed in Necra sect on my first day as a potential by my uncle.
I went into the administrator’s building to register myself as an eligible shepherd, ready for active duty. Once I had dropped off my belongings and signed my name on the dotted line, I reported back to Shepherd Diabelle, who was waiting just outside the coliseum entrance.
We didn’t go into the coliseum itself. We sidestepped the main entrance and walked down the hall to a different doorway, one I had always assumed was just another Shepherd Academy secret. It was a dark brown door marked with a warning in bright red and black letters: SHEPHERDS ONLY—DO NOT ENTER. I’d seen this door a thousand times and never actually cared what was behind it, but tonight, whether I liked it or not, I would find out.
“You’re about to enter the Altar of Ein’s Children,” Diabelle cautioned me. She pulled out a thin black robe from the inner pocket of her cloak and handed it to me. “You’re required to wear this robe and only this robe. Put it on now, please.”
“I have to be naked?” I asked, slightly surprised.
“Yes.”
“But why?”
“What, in your entire time here at the academy, has led you to believe I would actually answer that? Don’t worry; you’re nothing special,” she replied, a smirk spreading across her face. “Every shepherd has been where you are right now.”
“Naked and petrified?” I joked nervously as I undressed.
“Yup! Welcome to the club,” she said, turning around while I changed.
I covered myself with the paper-thin black robe. It was itchy, stiff, and uncomfortable. “All set,” I said. “What do you want me to do with these?” I asked as I gathered my clothes.
Shepherd Diabelle produced a bag from the pocket of her robes. I put everything inside, and she tied the top and set the bag down just to the right of the door. “Are you ready, Vigil?”
“Not really.”
“Good answer,” she said, pushing the foreboding door open.
We were hit in the faces with a gust of dry, dusty air that shot upward from the staircase before us. The stone steps were cold against my bare feet as I followed her down the stairs, and once we had walked about seven or eight steps, the door slammed shut behind us, leaving us in utter darkness.
“It’s a straight stairwell,” she said. “Just walk forward.”
I stepped cautiously down the stairs, letting my toes wrap around the edge of each step to get solid footing before taking the next one. We traveled down what felt like hundreds of feet into the ground, and eventually the path grew lighter as the faint orange-yellow glow of a torch in a sconce up ahead lit the way. Shepherd Diabelle touched the bottom of the stairs first. I almost bumped into her, thinking there would be another step, but I quickly regained my composure before she noticed.
Diabelle stopped and stood in front of a pair of twenty-foot-tall narrow blackbrass doors. “Vigil Voronto, we stand before the Alter of Ein’s Children. This is the start of your graduation ritual,” she announced proudly as she turned to face me. “Once we enter the Altar of Ein’s Children, we’re not permitted to speak to one another. When we enter, you’ll see a large stone altar in the center of the room. Climb on top and lie down flat on your back. There are restraints for your hands and your feet, and I’ll secure those for you. Once you’re in place, I’ll leave the chamber and close these doors behind me. From that moment on, your experience is your own. Do you have any questions?”
“Several, but I’m sure I’m not supposed to ask them, either,” I said with a nervous smile. Diabelle smiled back and patted me on the shoulder, trying to encourage me.
“You’ll do fine,” she said. “Let’s begin.”
She pushed open the blackbrass doors, and the hinges creaked as they slowly swung around. I followed Diabelle into the chamber, and in the center of the room was an incredibly thick stone slab altar. There were fragments of different colored stones embedded in its sides and shackles at the head and foot, just as she said there would be. I didn’t understand why I had to be chained down for this, but it wasn’t my place to question the ritual. This was now my fate, and I felt it in my soul. It’s what I was meant to do.
Diabelle stopped beside me at the edge of the altar and took my hand to help me climb onto the top of its large flat surface. I proceeded to lie down on my back as she had instructed. The surface of the altar radiated an unexpected heat through my robe as Diabelle took my hands and placed them in the shackles. She tightened the locks so tight that I could feel my pulse struggling to push blood through my wrists and into my fingertips. She took my feet and did the same, and I felt the metal of the shackles dig into my skin.
With my body secured, Diabelle left me alone in the room. The hinges creaked again, followed by an echoing slam of the doors. I was alone, strapped down, and slightly afraid.
The room itself was exceedingly ancient. Everything was made from the same porous gray stone. The dusty crumbling statues lining the walls, the evenly-spaced cracked pillars throughout the round chamber, and the plain curved ceiling with a long, jagged crack running directly down the center. The entire room looked like it had been carved from a single stone. I must have stared up at that crack in the ceiling for a good ten minutes before anything happened, but when it finally did, I was absolutely awestruck.
-89-
The jagged crack began to separate, and the ceiling slowly opened. The two halves rolled back from each other, and I felt the air getting colder as the ceiling withdrew and disappeared entirely. What lay before me was completely incomprehensible and wonderful at the same time. It was the realm of Ein itself—a million miles of black, blue, and red clustered with thousands and thousands of twinkling stars. Galaxies swirled everywhere in the space before me. I saw planets moving and stars dying and being reborn just as quickly. It was endless…beautiful…and it felt like my very soul wept at the sight of it all.
Then, from one of the blacker sections of the realm of Ein, I saw a shadow start to form. It was a smoky black haze that grew and drifted all about as it came closer to me. I could still see the stars glimmering through the black shadowy mist, but suddenly they weren’t stars anymore. They moved and curved and changed into something else—a pair of sparkling purple eyes with black irises that stared right through me.
I lost my breath. I couldn’t move as the eyes fixed on me. More stars reshaped themselves in the blackness, forming a nose and a mouth that opened slightly as it breathed a cool, dark wind down upon me. It was a distinctly female face—one that I vaguely remembered—and I began to shiver, although I didn’t know if it was from the cold or out of p
ure fear.
“Who are you?” I asked nervously.
I AM NECRA…DAUGHTER OF EIN…AND THE GODDESS OF DEATH, she said in a dark, breathy whisper. I remembered her voice from my childhood. ARE YOU TO BE MINE?
“I-I am.”
ARE YOU PREPARED TO ACT ON MY BEHALF…TO DEFEND ME…AND PROTECT ALL THOSE WHO WILL PASS FROM YOUR REALM TO THE NEXT?
“I am.”
WILL YOU OBEY…WITHOUT QUESTION…AND PERFORM WHATEVER TASK IS ASKED OF YOU…NO MATTER WHAT MY REQUEST IS?
“I will.”
WILL YOU LAY ASIDE YOUR LIFE TO SERVE ME…AND MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS…TO SERVE MY FATHER?
“I will.”
THEN…VIGIL VORONTO…YOU ARE NOW MINE! she howled.
I was beginning to lose focus on her face. The black shadowy mist became distorted. Her eyes, her mouth—they were there one minute, and then gone the next. Suddenly, my body was pulled upward by my chest from the stone slab. The robe I’d been wearing instantly dissolved as the shackles that held me down clicked open and released me, freeing my naked body into an upright position with my toes hovering a few feet above the top of the altar. It was the same experience I’d had during my Vivication, only this time, it was real. I tried to move my arms, my legs; anything I could, but she had me completely frozen in place.
Then, I heard something that sounded like a swarm of wasps. It became louder and louder, and the buzzing was so intense that it caused my entire body to vibrate. From the corner of my eye, I saw something moving toward me from the side of the room. This entity was purple, and as it moved upward and enveloped my entire body, I saw it was a cloud of vibrating jagged crystals that quickly swarmed into a brutal tempest as it moved and churned all around me.
Suddenly, one crystal shot toward me, stabbing me in the stomach and burrowing into my flesh. I shouted out in pain as another stabbed me in my left shoulder, digging into my bones. I could smell my own blood as the surrounding cyclone collapsed in upon me; more and more jagged purple crystals stabbed me. They tore apart every inch of my flesh, and I could feel my body rapidly disintegrating as the bloodied razors continued to eat me alive, destroying all my skin and muscle tissue and embedding themselves into every bone in my body. The blood pooled up in my throat. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t scream. The pain grew exponentially worse as the crystals continued to shred and drain me until there was nothing left but a skeleton floating in a misty cloud of my own blood.
Intense pain radiated through every inch of me as I floated weightlessly above the altar. I could move just enough now to look down and see the top of the stone altar through my raw bloodied skeleton. All my bones were covered with thousands of little jagged, sunken purple crystals.
YOU ARE NOW…REBORN! the goddess said proudly.
Then, I heard her breathing deeply, sucking the bloody cloud that surrounded me from the room. The pain was so intense that I would have been happy to die right then, but Necra exhaled a soothing reddish-gray mist that coated my bones, engulfing me in a cold fog. The pain began to dull as my body grew numb in the frigid vapor, and I heard what sounded like someone peeling the crunchy shell from a moist hard-boiled egg channeling through my body. My bones began to itch uncontrollably. I realized what it was. My body was regrowing itself. As all my blood and muscle tissue returned, I could see my crystal-infused bones being swallowed up by flesh. She was making me whole again. When the last bit of flesh returned to my frame, Necra released her grip, and I collapsed upon the stone slab of the Altar of Ein’s Children.
RISE…SHEPHERD! Necra commanded. I forced myself onto my knees and gazed up at her, now seeing her starry eyes clearly again. SERVE ME WELL…SHEPHERD VORONTO!”
“I will,” I replied firmly. I was exhausted as the goddess once again faded away, returning to Ein’s vast universe. The two pieces of the ceiling fused together again, leaving me alone in the chamber, aching and tired.
I was finally a shepherd. It was hard to believe, but I was. As the pain slowly resonated through my body with every move, I understood why nobody had ever told us about the graduation ritual. If any potential knew the truth about what happened, they’d be way too intimidated to go through with it at all.
-90-
I sat motionless for a few more minutes, trying to regain my strength, before the doors creaked open once again and Shepherd Diabelle entered the room to join me. She was carrying a set of robes, a staff, a belt, and a pair of boots, all of which she placed beside me on the altar before giving me her hands to help me down.
“Congratulations!” Diabelle beamed. “You’re one of us now, Shepherd Voronto. And as a shepherd, it’s time you wore gear worthy of the title.” She picked up the ceremonial robes and shook them out. They were thick velvet; a deep shade of gray with the emblem of Necra embossed in purple on the left breast.
“This is to clothe you,” she said as she handed me the robes. My hands were shaking, still trembling from the recent pain, but I took the garment and slipped it over body. I stood up slowly, letting the robes drape down around my legs. Shepherd Diabelle took the belt and threaded it around my waist, cinching it just tight enough that I felt it hanging on my hips. “These are to protect you,” she said as she handed me the boots. I put them on, and she helped me lace them up as my fingers were still stiff and ached horribly. “And this is to defend all you stand for now,” she said as she handed me my very own shepherd staff.
It was a beautiful thing—long and crooked like a tree branch, but smooth and elegant like polished glass. In the center of the staff, I saw what looked like veins consisting of the same purple crystals that had just torn me to shreds, and they began to glow softly as I wrapped my fingers around it.
“Thank you,” I said. My voice sounded scratchy, but after I cleared my throat, it returned to normal. “Thank you for everything, Shepherd Diabelle.”
“You’re welcome, Shepherd Voronto,” she said, respectfully returning the pleasantry. Come with me. I’ll take you to the recuperation room to let you fully gather your strength.”
I nodded. “Okay.” My head was still fuzzy and throbbing as I tried to think straight. Diabelle tried to get me to focus on her so I wouldn’t lose my balance, and I noticed that her eyes had changed. The solid black irises were now a deep fluorescent purple. “What happened to your eyes?”
“Nothing. My eyes haven’t changed, but yours have.” Diabelle laughed. “Now that you’re a shepherd, you’ll be able to perceive each shepherd’s respective deity within their eyes…the true windows to the soul.”
“Are my eyes like that now, too?”
“Yes. You now belong to Necra, and her power flows through you. It’s an honor to show such devotion to her in our eyes.” She smiled.
Shepherd Diabelle walked me through an exit door at the opposite end of the chamber and led me into a room just outside the Altar of Ein’s Children. This room was posh. There were blue velvet couches and big deep pillows with gold braided tassels hanging off each corner. It looked like a place that Raxis would enjoy.
“Sit and rest,” she said.
I gladly obeyed and sank into the deep, soft sofa that swallowed up my aching body. “Thank you,” I replied. I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer. My body had been punished far beyond anything it had ever sustained before, and this couch was way too comfortable to fight my exhaustion. I fell asleep.
“Vigil, wake up!” Shepherd Diabelle shouted as she shook my shoulder and jarred me awake. I didn’t know how long I’d been asleep, but it had been dreamless and quiet…until she began shouting. Slowly, I opened my still tired eyes, but I couldn’t see Diabelle anywhere.
“Where are you?” I called out. I couldn’t see anything in front of me except a blood-colored mist hanging heavily in the air. I stood up, trying to regain my bearings, and I used my staff to feel blindly in front of me through the cold mist. “Shepherd Diabelle?”
“I’m here, Vigil,” she replied calmly.
“
What’s happening to me?” I wasn’t afraid, but I was very nervous.
“What do you see?” Diabelle asked.
“A sort of red mist…it’s everywhere.”
“Shepherd Voronto,” she announced slowly, “this is your first Call to Death.”
It took a minute for the words to sink in. I had always wondered what it would be like, but I had no idea it would happen so soon. I was excited, but still nervous. I wanted to do well. Potentials never truly got to experience an actual Call to Death while at the academy. Shepherd Diabelle had taught us about the process of death, but not the practice itself.
“What do I do?” I asked. “What happens next?”
“The mist is the first stage,” she explained. “In time, your eyes will develop the ability to see more clearly through it, but for now, just try to focus and remain calm. Very soon, you’re going to feel your heart pound a little faster than normal.” She was right. My pulse began to quicken to a painful speed.
“How long does this last?” I grimaced at the discomfort.
“You’ll get used to that, too. Your heart is synching up with the heart of the dying subject. It’s always worst the first time it happens, and it’ll slow down in a minute or two,” Diabelle cautioned me.
She was right, as usual. I controlled my breathing as best I could. After a few minutes, my heartbeat slowed to a more manageable pace. The red mist slowly began to clear away, and I could see Diabelle’s vibrant purple eyes staring at me with all the concern of a good teacher.
“Vigil, you’ve got to make your archway now,” she said. “Take your staff and close your eyes. The staff will amplify the abilities within you. Focus on the archway itself. It’ll take you to the subject, wherever he or she may be. But brace yourself, because once the archway is formed, you’ll be opening a direct link between you and the vessel. Everything they’re feeling now, or have ever felt, you’ll feel, too. You’ll be flooded with every memory they’ve experienced throughout their entire lifetime. It’s going to be a little overwhelming, but most of the feelings and memories will fade away pretty quickly.”