I can’t wear this in public. It’s skimpy and makes me feel uncomfortable.
Angela finished slipping into the tight tank top. She pulled her dark brown hair into a ponytail, and then looked back down at the blue uniform. Red shiny letters across the front said Grove High School. White trim lined the edges of the sleeveless top and the low neckline, as well as the bottom of the very short, ruffled skirt.
Even standing in the stall of the restroom, Angela felt uncomfortable in the cheerleader outfit. When Jessica had handed her the uniform, Angela insisted that she would try it on in the restroom, not the locker room. Although she did not state her reasoning, she wanted her privacy. Her mother had taught her to always be modest, and changing clothes was no exception.
The tank top is too form-fitting, and the neckline shows too much skin. The skirt is inches shorter than anything I have ever worn before. It makes me feel sick.
“Almost ready in there?” Jessica asked from outside the doorway. “The girls are waiting on you.”
Jessica is in the hallway, Angela thought, and the rest of the team is in the gym waiting for my performance. What can I do? If I change back into my school clothes and tell Jessica I am no longer interested in becoming a cheerleader, she’ll probably insult me and spread rumors about me. The school bus already took off, and I’d have to walk a few miles to get home. But, if I go along with this, will I regret it?
“Just a minute,” Angela replied as she anxiously bit her lip, buying herself a little extra time to decide.
She never would have dreamt of being a cheerleader. Ballet was her passion. But, her parents were no longer around to support her dream, and Uncle Billy would laugh at the idea of funding her ballet lessons and competitions. Her old ballet club was too far away, and finding a new one was pointless without the money and support to join.
Angela packed her school clothes into her backpack and soon opened the stall door. She went to the sink to wash her hands, and as she did, she looked at her reflection. Seeing herself in the uniform made her shudder. Her old ballet attire, though formfitting, used to make her feel graceful, but this outfit made her feel dirty.
She dried her clammy hands while trying to get over her nervousness. Each step towards the door was more difficult as her fear increased.
What if I can no longer dance? What if this is a huge mistake? Which will I regret more, trying out to be a cheerleader, or never knowing if I should have?
As she walked out the doorway into the hall, Jessica’s eyes lit up. “Wow, wait until the girls see you now. Hot stuff! Angela, you look just like one of us.”
“Thank you,” Angela said, unsure how to take the compliment.
As they walked towards the glass doors to the court, Angela could see some of the cheerleaders practicing synchronized moves, cartwheels, and even flips. She felt out of her comfort zone, and nearly turned around to leave.
When she glanced at Jessica once more, she could see a wide grin, one that reminded her of the smiles her mom did when she was proud of Angela. She could also see a hint of excitement in Jessica’s eyes, like she really looked forward to seeing Angela try out for this.
Jessica opened the doors and Angela walked in, and soon grabbed the attention of the whole team. Everyone stopped practicing and stared straight at her.
They don’t seem to like me, Angela thought with trepidation, or they are trying to make up their minds.
“Okay squad, clear the court,” Jessica commanded.
Angela took notice of a taller, more mature woman with dyed blonde hair and a fair amount of makeup that crossed the gymnasium and approached her. “You must be Angela.”
“Yes,” she replied softly, a little intimidated by the lady’s serious demeanor.
“I’m Coach Swanson,” she stated as she scanned over Angela as though she could assess her ability from her looks. “Well, let’s see if you have what it takes to be a cheerleader. The dance floor is all yours,” she said while waving at the shiny wooden basketball court.
The cheerleaders rested on the front row bleacher while Jessica led Angela to a table at the mid-court sideline. A pile of a dozen CD cases were stacked beside a portable boom box.
“Here are all the CDs that we dance to,” Jessica said. “You only have one chance to impress everyone with your moves. Try and pick whatever music makes you feel the most comfortable so that your dancing is authentic and passionate. Good luck.”
Jessica patted her on the shoulder and joined the other girls and the coach on the bleacher. Angela started to browse through the collection and instantly noticed that all the music was Pop, Rock, or Rap. Ever since she was little, she would only listen to classical and Christian music, and always chose classical songs for her ballet performances.
Angela’s mother had pointed out that if a song had lyrics that were negative, sexually provocative, contained cursing or profanity of any kind, or spoke against God, then she should not listen to them. With the wisdom that harmful music could negatively influence her thoughts or actions, Angela was very selective as to what she would listen to.
Many of the CD covers showed woman wearing immodest clothing or men dressed as gangsters holding a gun or a bottle of alcohol, and although some stated the music was the edited, clean, versions of the songs, Angela knew the potentially sexual lyrics and harmful messages would still remain. Checking the song titles on the backside of the cases, she realized that most sounded like they were about casual relationships, breakups, drinking alcohol and wild partying.
She glanced towards Jessica and saw her smile, then motioned for her with her hands to hurry up. Angela decided to set the CD cases back down, and as she did, she glanced at the portable stereo. She raised an eyebrow, then turned the radio on and tuned it to the local classical station. Angela increased the volume and headed towards center court.
Coach Swanson leaned in towards Jessica and whispered loudly, “This is the girl you are counting on to help the team win the State Cheerleading Competition? Seems to me she belongs in the Nutcracker.”
Before Jessica could respond, Kayla muttered angrily, “This girl has some guts playing music like that in here.”
“Give her a chance,” Jessica insisted trying to stay nonchalant. “Let her dance moves do the talking.”
As Angela reached her position, she faced the bleachers and prepared herself. The symphony song that was playing was one of her favorites, and although she had never attempted to dance to it, she tried to ignore the cheerleaders and focus on performing. She stood there as the piano music softened, and right as the violins started, she soared into motion.
Starting with a forward leap, her body flowed into a twirl. She continued with a series of leaps, twists, bends, and swanlike movements that closely matched the changes in the music. It was awkward doing moves in her tennis shoes, but she forced herself to imagine she was wearing her ballerina shoes instead. The force of her moves made her already too short of a skirt fly up, and every time she bent over, she blushed in shame. But soon the melody of the music enfolded her, and she let herself surrender fully to the dance. Trying to hold nothing back as the song reached its climax, Angela pushed herself to alter the dance moves with every change in the music.
Nearing the end, she began to think about that night when tragedy struck, but quickly dismissed the thought. Focusing only on her dance moves, Angela entered into a final twirl, one that was as fast as she could move. Right as the song came to an end she broke out of the twirl, paused, and then bowed to the audience.
Coach Swanson, expressionless, slowly stood up and walked over to unplug the extension cord, which then turned off the radio. She stared at Angela, standing there in the Grove High cheerleader uniform, still bowing and breathing heavily. All the girls on the squad remained silent and waited to see how their coach would react.
The coach raised her hands and began clapping. “Very impressive.”
Angela lifted her head slightly to peek at th
e rest of the girls. The cheerleaders all stood up and filled the gymnasium with a round of applause. Some of the girls whistled loudly as well, and many rushed forth onto the court. Gone were the hostile looks and judging eyes, there were smiles all around now.
“You really know how to move,” Kayla said giving her a high five.
“It’s like you were born to dance.” Melissa smiled to defuse the jealous tone in her voice.
Angela stood up straight, smiling from ear to ear, and replied, “Thank you.” For the first time in a long time, she finally felt the tension and unhappiness ease in her heart.
“I think I can speak for everyone here,” Jessica stated as she gave her a warm hug. “Welcome to the team.”
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Finding Faith Page 7