He continued on as if I hadn’t spoken. He didn’t put me down until we’d walked into his place and then into his bedroom.
He dropped me onto his bed, and I immediately stood up and tried to dodge around him. One arm looped around my waist, dragging me back.
“One warning. You’re not fucking him, not while you’re in the Valley. You try to leave here tonight and I’ll tie you to the bed.”
That was it. He’d completely lost his mind. He’d lived too long with too much magic, and it had broken him.
“You think you can sleep with anything that walks and I’m supposed to be chaste? Are you bonkers?”
I shoved at his chest with both hands. He stared down at me, rage still burning in his eyes. He turned and walked back into the living room.
I chased after him and watched as he settled on the couch, resting his head on his arm and closing his eyes. Not an inch of him appeared relaxed. He looked like a tightly wound coil about to spring.
I didn’t glance at the door. I didn’t want to leave anymore. I wanted to fight. Plus, I wasn’t an idiot. Whatever was holding him in place was about to snap, and would if I made a step toward the door.
I stood at the foot of the couch. “I don’t care what you say. I can sleep with Knife if I want.”
He didn’t say anything, but his chest rose and fell more rapidly.
“Is this because of the weird way our magic interacts? It bothers me too, but I don’t try to dictate your comings and goings.” If he thought he was going to get any rest tonight, he’d never miscalculated so badly. I’d stand right here and hammer home how crazy he was all night. We’d see who broke first. I had every bit as much tenacity as he did. If I couldn’t beat him one way, I’d beat him another.
Another deep breath before he said, “If you sleep with someone else, I’ll kill them. It won’t bother me, but I’m sure you’ll feel horrible about it. As far as ‘comings and goings,’ there’s been no one since the merge.”
I huffed, making sure it was loud enough for him to hear. That didn’t deserve a comment, but there was no way I’d let him think I was buying his bull.
I leaned both hands on the couch. “You don’t go more than a couple of days without fucking something. I saw a blonde entering your place tonight.”
One eye cracked open, as if he couldn’t believe he was about to have this conversation. “That would be Rhonda. I didn’t fuck her. You can ask her if you’d like.”
“Ha! Well, what about the girl I saw half-naked on your couch the day before I left for Dorley? Was she not here to screw either?”
His eyes snapped open and then crinkled in the corners. “You saw Marly the day before you left.”
“Yes. So you’re a liar.” I stabbed my finger in his direction.
The lines of his neck eased. The anger that had been simmering in his magic suddenly calmed. A calculating look replaced it.
There was a tease of a smile about the corners of his lips. “She let herself in. I told her to leave as soon as I saw her here.”
“Sure you did.” My snide tone did nothing for his uplifted mood. He’d definitely cracked.
He stood and walked to the door.
Knew I’d break him. This was when he got tired of being caught lying and told me to get out. Good. I was quite ready to leave. I’d only stayed because he’d forced the issue on me.
He turned around, and I stopped. “Where are you going?”
“Huh?” I asked, freezing in my tracks.
He didn’t explain anything as he swung the door open and hollered, “Mikey!”
A kid of ten or eleven came running over, bright, bushy-tailed, and thrilled to be called upon. Mikey was probably excused from school the next day because he’d covered the night shift.
“What’s you be needin’, boss?” He smiled widely, showing off a newly budding front tooth.
“Go by and collect Rhonda and Marly for me. Wait.” Ryker turned back to me. “Is there anyone else while he’s at it?”
“You’re going to drag them out of bed?” I asked. “To come here? Now?”
“Yes. Anybody else?” he asked, straight-faced.
“Uh…” I ran a hand over my forehead.
“No?” he asked, hand on the door with Mikey waiting for his orders right behind him.
He turned back to Mikey. “That should—”
“No. I believe you. Don’t go get them.” Even if it did turn out to be a lie, which might not be the case, the idea of dragging all his women here to testify to the fact made every inch of me want to shrivel up.
“You’re sure?” He kept the door open, not sending Mikey away.
“Yes.”
“Fine. Mikey, you can go.” Ryker shut the door, but not before I saw the disappointment on Mikey’s face. Dragging them out of their beds would’ve been the highlight of Mikey’s week.
“You might not have slept with them, but that doesn’t change anything.” Except it did change some things. Muscles that were ready for battle softened, and my lungs inflated a little easier.
He shut the door and leaned against it, watching me.
“Why didn’t you?” I asked.
His gaze lingered on my lips. “I didn’t want them.”
I crossed my arms. “I’m not going to swear off sex until you say it’s okay. It’s not my fault you haven’t wanted anyone lately.” I turned and walked to the other side of the room before I went too soft. So what if he wasn’t sleeping with anyone? It changed nothing.
“That’s not what I said. There’s someone I want.” He was still leaning against the door, his eyes drinking me in brazenly. The heat was back in his eyes, but this time it wasn’t anger. His stare didn’t waver from me as his magic cocooned me. “You want to fuck tonight? Take your clothes off.”
It was the last thing I’d expected. Just like that, all my bravado fled like a herd of horses from a fire. Thankfully, I still had some of Burn’s booze flowing in my veins to rein them in a bit.
He thought he could bluff me or something? That this would drive me back into his room without a peep of complaint? That I’d turn meek? He’d see.
I’d stripped for him before, only to be turned away. Sometimes it felt like he’d been pushing me away longer than I’d even known him. He wanted me naked? No problem. I’d play his game.
We’d see who cried mercy first. He hadn’t touched me the first time I’d stripped for him, and I didn’t think he’d do it now. I arched my back, faking a confidence I didn’t feel, and pulled off my shirt then tossed it to the side. My breasts weren’t large, but I’d seen enough to know they were still pretty, with a pleasing fullness and tilt.
My nipples tightened, as if they were begging for his attention. His eyes burned as they took in every inch of bare skin on display.
I let out a breath that rattled. His stare alone drove a yearning inside me. It was clear that this was nothing like the first time I’d stripped for him.
He pushed off the door and walked toward me, stopping a couple feet away.
He reached out, cupping my breast. His roughened thumb brushed over my nipple. I couldn’t take my eyes from his hand as I ran my tongue over dry lips.
His eyes rose to mine as he continued to mold my breast to his liking. “You still have clothes on.”
He hadn’t sent me running yet, so he thought to up the ante? A test of my determination to see if I’d cry uncle. It was a silly notion, since a part of me had been waiting for this for months. There was no losing for me in this scenario.
I kicked off my boots and unbuttoned my pants before he took over, grabbing my waistband and shoving them off my hips.
He wrapped an arm around my back, arching me with its pressure. His other hand dipped lower, fingers gliding along my opening. His fingers slid in easily.
A high-pitched moan broke from my lips. My feet left the ground as he walked us over to the couch. I landed on my back, with him following me down. I heard the seams of my pants rip as he pulled them ro
ughly from my body. I tugged at his shirt, wanting to feel his flesh against mine. He obliged me by pulling it off and then shedding the rest of his clothes as well. His teeth nipped at my flesh as his mouth worked his way across burning skin.
My head was thrown back; his teeth teased the tendon of my neck as his hand cupped my ass and I rode the ridge of his cock. I felt the silky hardness against me as he shifted lower and the head of his cock teased the entrance of my pussy.
“Damn, you’re small,” he said, his voice strained.
He didn’t understand. He’d thought I’d fucked Knife already. It shouldn’t make a difference that I hadn’t, but I feared it would.
I gripped his hard ass, pulling him forward. I arched up, urging him on.
He thrust into me, seated to the hilt.
I gasped. He froze.
His head lifted, his eyes level on mine. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because it doesn’t matter.” In that second, as I saw the shock cross his face, I was glad he hadn’t known.
He might’ve disagreed, but he didn’t say anything. His lips brushed mine in a caress, a softness I didn’t think Ryker was capable of, as if to ease some of the harshness of his entry.
He dipped his hand between us, his fingers rubbing at the apex, right above where we were joined, and a delicious tickle warmed my insides.
I could feel his girth stretching me, but he didn’t move as I breathed through a pain that was already fading as it mingled with pleasure. My body started to relax, muscles growing languid.
His hips shifted, slowly at first. The tickle grew into a stronger yearning. With every withdrawal and thrust, it was more urgent. I wrapped my legs around his waist, inviting him deeper, wishing for even more of him.
The pressure built until I was clawing at his shoulders and moaning with an abandon I didn’t think I possessed, until my world felt like it was exploding open.
Ryker sank half on top of me and then shifted us so he was underneath. My cheek met his chest as the aftereffects pulsated through me.
Ryker was silent as he lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling. I tiptoed around his magic, but he was locked down like I hadn’t felt in forever. I searched inward, where we were merged, and found that connection closed as well.
I leaned on an elbow. I wouldn’t exactly call him grumpy, but he didn’t look happy, either. Distant. That was the best word for it. I looked away, not wanting to see something else that would mar the moment forever.
I wouldn’t regret it. No matter what may come.
It would’ve been so easy to lay my cheek back on his chest and curl into him, but then this would feel like something it wasn’t. I knew people well enough to know one thing for sure. They didn’t change. Ryker wasn’t a one-woman man, and he never would be. I’d gotten the most he was capable of giving, and that would be enough.
Knife had summed it up well: Ryker would never be the right guy, no matter who the woman was.
I sat up, not happy but not sad either. I was a pragmatist and could take the moment for what it was, be happy it happened, and move on.
I forced myself to be strong, to get up—to not care too much. I reached down to grab my shirt.
He rolled onto his side. “Where are you going?”
Suddenly his attention was solely back on me, as if my movement had jerked him out of his thoughts.
“To my place.” I searched for my pants, keeping my back to him, for once feeling less vulnerable showing someone my markings as opposed to my heart.
His shadow rose as he stood. His arm wrapped around my waist, dragging me with him toward the bedroom. “Can’t let you leave yet. You’d have to walk right past Knife’s, and you can’t be trusted,” he teased.
He dropped onto the bed, pulling me down with him until my cheek was back against his chest.
What is this? What are we doing? That was what I should’ve been asking him. Except then I might have to hear the answer. Fucking. That was what we were doing. There were no words of love. No hint of a commitment.
I should get up and leave. I’d gotten what I wanted. My heart might be able to handle the sex, but I wasn’t sure it could handle a night of him against me.
Knowing that, I still couldn’t bring myself to get up again.
A long time ago, Ruck had given me the best piece of advice he’d probably uttered in his life. We’d found a small dead cat lying on a flat stone beside a building, a drip of blood at its mouth.
“The cat probably leapt from too high a place. This is what happens when you don’t know your limits,” he’d said as he looked at the sad little creature. “You need to know what your limits are in life, with everything, physical, emotional. Test the limits, see how far you can stretch them, because that’s how you grow. But don’t push so hard you break them, because some things you can’t come back from.” He’d run a few fingers over the cat’s fur, as if trying to soothe a hurt that could never be mended.
Right now, I was the cat leaping too high, and Ryker was the stone that would break me.
Twenty-Four
The bed was empty when I woke, a plate with buttered biscuits beside the bed. My clothes were folded on the dresser, alongside a new set. I ignored the new stuff, pulling my old shirt over my head. My pants hadn’t made it through the night, with a gaping hole on the side seam.
Damn, I’d had those pants since I’d lived in the Ruins. I’d planned on being buried in them every time I thought I was going to die, which had been more often than most people probably pondered their death. I shimmied on the new pair then grabbed the old pair to take with me. Nothing a needle and thread couldn’t fix up. I’d be buried in them yet. I grabbed a biscuit, too.
I walked out of Ryker’s, making a detour that would take me the long way around the food building. Ryker was probably there, and it was best to have some space. It wasn’t like he’d been there when I woke. Obviously he wanted space too.
I got to a split in the road that would either lead me to my place or in the direction of the grove. I turned toward the grove, looking to stretch my muscles and give my brain a rest.
I sat down on a grassy patch with trees all around. When I’d been at Dorley, this was the place I’d missed most, more than my room or the food building, or even hanging out with Ruck while looking at the view from the tower. This place, with its large grassy opening and the Grove of Souls abutting it. I pulled the biscuit out of my pocket, leaned back, and breathed in the fragrance of the autumn blossoms of the Winter Red trees.
My stomach full, my eyes drifting closed, the smell hit me. It wasn’t as rotten as it had been in the past, but it was still unforgettably wrong. It was cloying, like it would seep into my pores, ooze into my skin, and would never leave me. As if I’d be smelling the rancid scent for years to come.
The smell wasn’t the only thing that was different this time. The feeling of its magic was too, as it swarmed around me, my hair blowing upward.
The birds stopped chirping and the place grew unnaturally silent, as if all the animals in the grove had departed in the face of the coming storm.
A chill passed over me as I prepared for an attack, trying to build up a ward as fast as possible.
“Chiara…”
It felt like a giant fist wrapped around my body, blowing through my hastily made ward as if I had none at all. I rolled onto my side, trying to breathe through the onslaught of pain and pressure, as if I were being crushed from every side. I writhed in pain as it wrapped itself around me, trying to weasel into me.
“Why do you fight me? Let me in and the pain will stop.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, afraid to speak, make any connection that might help it break me. Air whistled through my clenched teeth as I wondered how long I could fight this creature off.
“Let me in. Let me in,” it said over and over again.
Something brushed my shoulder. A feel of claws trailing along my skin, ripping into me. Pain seared through me, following along its touch.
The claws moved from my shoulder to my ribs, to my hips and down the length of me. I kept my eyes squeezed tight, afraid to see it. Terrified I’d crack if I did. I could barely expand my lungs to drag in a breath through the agony. I panted, trying to curl into myself, find a place away from the pain, the poking of its magic as it tried to break through my defenses.
“Open for me,” it said, as a mix of compulsion layered on pain.
I opened one eye a fraction and saw the feet of my demon in front of me. Six black claws dug into the ground, two legs of grey skin, both thick, cracked and oozing a black, tar-like substance that gagged my senses.
Beyond it, I saw Burtie the burier in the distance. He looked at me and nodded, his green tufts of hair waving in the air before he took off.
The message was clear: help was coming if I could hold on.
I didn’t know if I could.
“In,” it said. “Let. Me. In.” It was pummeling me everywhere.
The pain was building, and I felt like it was going to rip me open.
Then it was over. The pain was gone. The smell disappeared. I heard footsteps getting closer as I lay prone on the ground still gasping.
“Bugs.” Ryker’s fingers grazed my cheek, my hair, his touch a bare whisper, as if he were afraid to break me.
I opened my eyes and looked at his face above mine.
“It was here.” I could taste the blood on my lips as I spoke.
Ryker reached for me but then stalled.
“Bring her inside. I fear it’s still near,” Burtie said from nearby.
I reached out to Ryker, preferring the pain to staying here, where my demon might be able to still see me.
Ryker hands were gentle, but there was no place left on me that hadn’t been battered. I bit my tongue when I wanted to cry out. My lungs didn’t want to expand, and every part of me reeled from what felt like the worst beating I’d ever taken, which said a lot, since I’d had dozens.
We moved quickly, following Burtie to a door built into the cliffside. Ryker stooped to get in the place and then laid me on the small couch.
Blood Binds: Wyrd Blood Book Three Page 14