by Harlow James
When my sister regained consciousness, she had no idea what happened. She remembered asking him what he was doing there at the house party where most of the guests had gathered outside around the bonfire. But Jesus cornered her inside when she went in to use the bathroom, locking them in a room where the music was so loud outside that it would cover up her screams.
Selena was mortified when I told her what I saw after Andre grabbed us both and pushed out of the house before someone called the cops. I took her to the hospital to get her checked out, which she only agreed to after I begged. Luckily, the fucker had enough sense to use a fucking condom, but my sister was processed as a victim of rape as she sobbed in my arms. And she didn’t want to press charges because she was so embarrassed and didn’t think anyone would believe her. She was also weeks away from finally opening up her salon and didn’t want the gossip mill to ruin her chance at her business.
I had no choice but to accept that it was her decision, but when she didn’t speak up, Jesus decided to, pressing charges against me for aggravated assault. Selena was frantic and offered to tell the police, but at that point, I knew that taking my punishment and keeping her secret was more important than the potential of doing time.
My life was headed down a dangerous path anyway. I was smoking pot every chance I got, drinking heavily and partying, and living complacently, accepting that there wasn’t anything better to do with my life. Even though she felt like I was sacrificing a lot for her, I saw going to prison not only as punishment for failing to prevent it from happening, but also as a way for me to get my life back on track. I’d do my time and vow to start over, make the right decisions, and try to be the man my dad would have expected me to be if he hadn’t died suddenly when I was thirteen.
“That’s wonderful, Javi. Keep up the good work,” Lisa praises me before moving to the next person, and a little part of me inside that’s still a boy looking for approval lights up like a firecracker.
After I leave my anger management class that I attend every other Wednesday, I head home, now mentally and physically exhausted. My job makes my body tired, but my mind aches after I leave those meetings. They serve as a constant reminder of the past, but also an encouragement to keep moving forward. And I’m desperately trying to do so.
When I arrive home, I decide to stop inside the main house to say hello to my sister and Andre. I’ve seen Andre in passing at the gym this week, but it’s been a few days since I’ve annoyed my sister.
“Knock, knock,” I yell as I pry the backdoor open on the porch. It’s the easiest method of access from my house to theirs.
“I’m right here, Javi. No need to yell.” My sister stands at the stove in the kitchen to my left, stirring something in a pot with her back to me.
I close the door behind me and then make my way over to the fridge to grab a beer. “Well, I just want to make sure I don’t walk in on something that could blind me.” I walk to the closest stool at the counter and perch my tired ass on it.
“Don’t worry. We lock the door if we decide to have sex out here.” She peers over her shoulder at me with a teasing grin before turning her attention back to whatever she’s cooking. And it smells amazing.
“Lovely.”
“So, how was your anger management class?” She takes a bite of the rice to test it and then places the spoon back on the counter.
Popping the cap from my beer, I sling back a large gulp and then answer. “It was fine.”
She makes her way over to the other side of the counter, wiping her hands on a dish towel. “How much longer do you have to go to those classes anyway?”
I huff. “It’s a six month long class, but I didn’t start them right away when I got out, so I still have about a month or so.”
Selena stares down at the counter before her apologetic eyes glance up at me. “Do you think they’ve helped you at all?”
I shrug and take another sip of my drink. “I’d like to think so. I didn’t consider myself an angry person until I realized what I could do in a moment of fury, you know? I blacked out a bit that night when I was hitting Jesus. Now I just know not to put myself in situations that could make me get like that again.”
She squeezes her eyes shut while swaying her head back and forth before coming around the counter and throwing her arms around me. I hear the sniffles that usually accompany her tears, but her head is buried in my shoulder, so I can’t see if she’s actually crying. “I’m sorry, Javi.”
“Stop apologizing, Selena. It’s over and done with, okay?”
“But …”
“No buts. I’m not going to pretend like it was a vacation, because it wasn’t. Prison fucking sucked. But I’m trying to twist the narrative …”
Her head pops up and sure enough, tears are running down her cheeks. She swipes them away quickly with her hand before urging me to continue. “What do you mean?”
Letting out a harsh breath, I remove my hat and run my hand through my sweat soaked hair. “I was in a bad place back then, sis. You know that. Prison made me realize I needed to get my head on straight. I’m doing better now than I ever thought I could. We both are. Look at you,” I say and gesture toward her with my hand. “You’re a successful business owner and you’re married. We both grew up because of the things that happened that night. They’ve left behind some scars, but I think we’re doing okay.”
She nods with a small smile on her lips.
“So stop fucking apologizing to me. I did what I did, and I’d do it again. Jesus is lucky I didn’t kill him.”
“I know. I think about that. If you’d have killed him, Javi, you’d still be in there.”
I swallow harshly and then look down at my hands. “I know. But luckily I didn’t.”
“And that fucking asshole had the nerve to press charges against you after what he did to me.” She grinds her teeth together while her tears still fall.
“I think he believes you didn’t remember what happened. And since you never pressed charges against him, he grew balls and came after me.”
“I just love you, Javi. I hope you know that.” She kisses my cheek and then turns away, heading back to the stove.
“I do, Selena.”
“How many times have I told you not to make your sister cry?” Andre’s deep voice comes around the corner as he steps into the kitchen and kisses my sister’s temple as he passes by her.
“I can’t help how emotional she gets,” I tease.
Selena glares at me as she reaches into the cupboard for three plates. “Watch it, or you don’t get any dinner.”
I chuckle and then stand, walking over to the table to set my beer down. “You won’t let me go hungry,” I mock.
“She won’t, but I will.” Andre winks at me from behind my sister as he grabs silverware and napkins and then hands them to me over the counter.
Once Selena loads our plates with chicken, rice, and veggies, we sit down to eat in comfortable silence until Andre decides to open his mouth.
“So, how is the self-defense class going?”
My knife slides across my glass plate, screeching and making us all wince at the sound. “Uh, good. Great.”
Selena and he share a look before he presses further. “I take it things are going okay with Sydney then?”
“Yeah. She’s doing well, actually.”
“Clay said you seemed eager to help her yesterday …”
The next time I see Clay he’d better walk the other way.
“I help all of the girls, Andre. It’s my job.”
“Well, then he said once you were done helping her, you walked off.” He’s smirking through his chewing and I’d love nothing more than to punch that look off his face right now.
“I … I had to go to the bathroom.”
Selena snorts and Andre starts to laugh. “I bet you did.”
“You know what? Fuck you both.” I shake my head and take another bite of chicken.
“Javi … do you have a thing for Sydney Matt
hews?” My sister chimes in, pulling my eyes over to her.
“No …”
“You know she’s the last person you should be getting tangled up with.”
“You think I don’t know that? That girl is nuisance. She’s different than I thought she was back in high school, but that’s beside the point. There’s nothing going on, so drop it. Both of you.” I point my fork in Andre’s direction.
“Just be careful, Javi. Getting mixed up with a girl like her is just asking for trouble.”
“You think I don’t know that?”
“Isn’t she a lawyer now too?” Andre finds his voice.
“Yeah.”
“And her dad’s a judge, Javi. With your record, I wouldn’t exactly be rushing to meet her parents.”
I scoot my chair away from the table and clear my plate. “There’s nothing going on, so fucking drop it, alright?” I place my plate in the sink and then move for the back door.
“Okay. I just don’t want to see you make another mistake,” Selena says as she stands and comes near me. She doesn’t say it in a chastising way though, as if she’s reprimanding me for what I’ve done in my life. My last mistake was for her benefit, so she can’t very well judge me for that.
No, she’s got that sisterly tone in her voice that tells me she just wants me to be careful and think about my decisions.
But there are no decisions to be considered. Nothing will ever happen between Sydney and me. There’s no way.
“I won’t. Thanks for dinner.” I kiss her on the cheek and then exit the house, making the short trek back to my own sanctuary where I shut the door behind me and lean up against it.
My mind veers back to yesterday when I walked out of the class after helping Sydney practice her movements. The way her skin felt in my hands, the way her body pressed up against me and made me rock hard—that was why I walked away, because I had a fucking hard-on in the middle of class and there was no way it was going to go away quickly. I locked myself in the bathroom to calm myself down, contemplating whether to rub one out at the gym, but ultimately deciding against it. By the time I got myself under control and came back out, Clay had dismissed the class.
I don’t know why I tortured myself with demonstrating the movement with her first, but I was itching touch her. And that fucking outfit she had on was like a miniature version of the red leather suit Britney Spears rocked in that music video. I think most teenage boys remember that.
I couldn’t decide if Sydney wore it intentionally, or not. But whatever the reason, the girl was torturing me slowly as I watched her move around the gym. Every encounter with her makes me more curious about who she is now, but I’m not stupid. I fucking know that nothing could ever happen between us. And after hearing my sister’s warning tonight, my mind is getting clearer. The less interaction between Sydney and I, the better.
Chapter 13
Sydney
“You couldn’t be bothered to change at the office before coming here?” my mother whispers in my ear before I even get to take a sip of my wine.
“I didn’t know my outfit mattered.” I get out the words and then take the largest drink I can fit in my mouth.
“You should know by now that it does, Sydney. At least you don’t have pants on.” Her eyes veer down to my skirt and my bare legs sticking out of the bottom of it.
“Heaven forbid a woman would wear pants,” I mock.
“What has gotten into you this evening?” Her face portrays a creepy smile as she berates me through her teeth, waving casually to people that pass by us.
“Forgive me for not wanting to be chastised the second I arrived. I need to use the bathroom,” I say before turning on my heel and walking in the other direction.
As if today wasn’t hectic enough, the impending events of the evening only added to the stress tightening my chest. The case that Byron convinced me to take on is another custody battle that’s even nastier than the last one. I clenched my teeth all day after that first meeting, cursing him and myself for agreeing to take it on.
So now I have a splitting headache and my feet are aching from my heels, but I have to smile and slip into perfect, supportive daughter mode for the Chamber of Commerce mixer at the country club this evening.
As my eyes scour the room, all I see is a group of people more concerned about outward appearances and the balances of their bank accounts than what they can actually contribute to the community of Newberry, Texas. If they truly did, they’d be working toward bridging the gap between the two sides of our town, one which is way more affluent than the other.
Which brings Javier back to my mind. Last night at the self-defense class, he barely looked at me. He avoided working with me and right when the class ended he stormed off again. I’m not sure what happened over the course of two days, but apparently broody and silent Javier is back, which frustrates me more than it should.
It’s not like we’re best friends or even on the way to becoming that, but after he picked me up in the rain, I thought we were making progress in squashing the animosity between us. But I guess I was wrong.
I find the bathroom and rest my purse on the counter, staring back at my reflection in front of me. I reach up to remove the bobby pins in my hair and the clip holding it up, letting my thick, dark brown strands fall down over my shoulders. The ends are still curled so it doesn’t look half bad.
And neither does my outfit, while I’m on the subject of my appearance. My mother can kick rocks. I have on a white silk blouse and a navy-blue skirt—professional but still adding a touch of sexiness. I knew I wouldn’t have time to change between rushing from the office to make it over here on time, so I figured this outfit would be good enough. Apparently I was wrong about that too.
After reapplying my lip gloss, fluffing my hair, and using the toilet, I grab my purse and muster up as much energy as I can to plaster a smile on my face for the next two hours so my parents are happy and I can go home as soon as possible to pass out after a long week.
“Sydney.” A voice that sounds eerily familiar calls out to me from behind. And as I turn around, I instantly wish I had invisibility powers.
“Andrew.” I flash him a tight-lipped smile while wondering how long I have to stand here.
“You look lovely tonight.” His dark blue eyes bounce up and down my body in a slow gaze that doesn’t heat me up, but instead makes my stomach churn.
“Thank you.”
“How are you? Did you get my flowers?”
Ah, yes. The flowers he sent a few weeks ago that I never responded to.
“Oh, yes. Thank you. I told my assistant to send a thank you note, but it must have slipped her mind.”
His eyes narrow at me before he relaxes again. “No worries. So, have you thought about when I can take you out?” His feet move a few steps closer so now there’s only a few inches between our bodies. People are milling around us, conversing and garnering deals while the clatter of plates and dishes rings out from the kitchen as they prepare dinner.
“I’m so busy, Andrew …” I start, but he cuts me off, leaning in so he can lower his voice.
“The sooner you accept that we belong together, the easier this will be.” His words come out in a condescending whisper, and it instantly makes my hackles raise.
I step back and place my free hand over my heart as it beats erratically. “Excuse me?”
“Our parents are not going to rest until we end up together, so you might as well just give in.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know that what they wanted mattered.”
Andrew huffs out a half-assed laugh. “I didn’t take you for naïve, but apparently you’re forgetting who you are. You are Sydney Matthews and you have a reputation to uphold. We both do. Our relationship would do wonders for us both in our social circle.”
I clench my jaw again, my temples pounding while I try to remain calm. “I’m not naïve. I’m just not a piece of property that can be wheeled and dealed. I don’t want to date you,
Andrew. And the sooner you realize it, the better.”
His lips curl up in a patronizing grin before he raises his glass of bourbon to his lips. “You’ll come around eventually.”
“Don’t hold your breath.” I storm off to find our table before being stopped by my father.
“I see you were talking to Andrew,” he says through a mile wide smile.
“Talking is relative.”
His face falls when he senses my annoyance. “You should just give him a chance. You two have so much in common.”
“I don’t want to have this discussion here, Dad. Let’s just eat.”
The mayor comes over the microphone and asks everyone to take a seat as dinner is served. I sit in my cushioned chair silently, eavesdropping on the conversations milling around me while trying to avoid Andrew’s stare across the table.
My father dotes about my accomplishments and work with my firm as I smile and answer when appropriate. My mother brags about my brothers graduating from college in just a few short weeks. His buddies ask about his court cases and how his next big profile case is coming up next month, which sparks a debate about privacy and security.
I zone out for who knows how long until a throat clearing next to me pulls back to the present.
“Join me for a drink out on the terrace?” Andrew is standing behind me with an outstretched hand as our entire table watches our interaction. I could kill him right now for putting me in a predicament where I clearly can’t tell him no.
So I fake a sincere smile and stand, reaching for my purse from the floor. “Sure.”
“Aw, young love is in the air,” my father sing songs as the table snickers and Andrew places his hand on the small of my back, leading me outside.
As soon as we clear the doors, I step out of his reach and turn to face him. “That was uncalled for.”
“Nonsense. That’s called being smart.”
“By putting me in a position where I can’t say no.”
All he does is smile knowingly with his hands stuffed in his pockets. “I just wish you’d give us a chance, Sydney.” My eyes move across his features while I ponder just for a minute if I would even want to consider his offer. His dirty blonde hair is combed to the side, dark blue eyes stare back at me as he waits for my answer, and although Andrew is tall and relatively fit, I can think of a man whose muscles are far more appealing to me at this moment.