Stand: A Bleeding Stars Stand-Alone Novel

by A. L. Jackson

  Sitting out in the backyard under the drape of the darkened sky during the deepest hour of the night, Zee knew this was one of those moments.

  Relaxed back on a patio chair, Mark took a long drag of his cigarette and exhaled it toward the heavens. Smoke curled and twisted above his head. It climbed toward the infinite canvas strewn above them before it dispersed and disappeared, becoming one with the vast nothingness.

  “How many of those stars do you think are still holding on to our dreams?” Mark’s voice was quiet and full of contemplation when he finally broke the hushed stillness that bound them.

  On a low chuckle, Zee sank deeper into the lounger. He wasn’t surprised when his tone filled with some of that awestruck wonder he’d carried when he was a boy. “Does it count if I was always wishing for the same things?”

  Mark smiled and scratched at his throat before he shifted to look over at Zee. “It was always all about that piano, wasn’t it?”

  It was almost a tease, all mixed up with the kind of sheer affection that would be impossible for Zee to miss.

  Zee almost felt self-conscious when he answered, “Guess it mostly was. Sitting at the throne of those ivory keys started to feel like the most important thing in my world.”

  “It is important,” Mark told him.

  With a nod, Zee sat up and leaned his elbows on his knees. “Yeah. Doesn’t mean I don’t miss hanging out with you. Hate that I hardly get to see you anymore.”

  Mark lifted a shoulder. Not in carelessness. But in encouragement. “Things that are important take dedication and sacrifice, Zee. I get that. My world’s a million miles away from yours. You want to make it happen? Then you need to do what you need to do. Just like what me and the guys have had to do for Sunder. Doesn’t make you and me anything less to each other. You’ll always be the most important person in my life.”

  Guilt ate his insides.

  “But these last couple of years—”

  “Were shit,” Mark cut him off. He shrugged again, his words going quieter. “Yeah, things were bad, man. Fucking brutal. But just because my world stopped moving, didn’t mean I expected yours to stop, too. You’ve been chasing after this for years.” He cracked a smile. “Believe me, I’d knock you on your ass if you gave that up.”

  After a show in LA two years ago, Baz and Lyrik had gotten themselves into a ton of trouble. Baz had ended up behind bars for the better part of a year while Lyrik had fought to piece his life back together after he’d lost his family because of the mistakes he’d made that night.

  That whole time, Zee knew Mark had struggled. Knew he’d been getting lost to those dark places more and more often. Pumping his veins full to cover up the fear and loss.

  It’d seemed impossible for Zee to reach him.

  But over the last year since Baz had gotten out, Sunder had regrouped for a comeback.

  Their label had honored their contract, the same as their new manager, Anthony di Pietro. They’d laid down a new album and had been out on tour promoting it. Their popularity had seemed to gain speed with each day that passed.

  Between those two things and Zee’s own crazy schedule, he felt like he hardly had the time to connect with Mark.

  But Mark was right.

  Nothing could lessen their bond, because there they were, sitting under the stars. Same as they’d done when they were kids.

  It was like a day hadn’t passed.

  But that didn’t mean things hadn’t changed.

  Zee hesitated before he muttered what he knew sounded close to a confession. “Met someone.”

  Mark’s attention jerked his direction, eyes wide. “No shit.”

  Zee rubbed a knuckle across his upper lip as he was hit with another rush of affection. But this was an entirely different kind. This was something that flooded his stomach and pulsed in his chest.

  “No shit,” he said.

  “Is it serious?” Mark asked.

  Zee lifted his head to meet his brother’s stare head on. “I love her, man. Like crazy.”

  Mark laughed under his breath, grin pulling at the corner of his mouth. “So my baby brother went and took the tumble, huh?”

  A short laugh rippled free, and Zee shook his head. “Guess I did.”

  Truth was, he’d tumbled hard.

  Mark’s brows narrowed in speculation, the words on his tongue full of the same kind of ribbing he’d given Zee for years. “And you’re just gonna give up on the girls that flock to you every time you walk through my door? All that easy lovin’? It’s like you’re the rock star with the way they go all starry eyed every time you decide to show. Tell me you aren’t gonna miss it.”

  “Don’t miss it,” he said. Honestly. “Being with Julie is…easy.”

  The best thing he’d ever done.

  Mark chuckled and sank deeper into his chair. “Falling in love is the easy part.”

  He took another drag of his cigarette and turned back to the sky. “It’s picking up all the pieces in the aftermath that’s the hard part.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Zee

  I jerked to a stop a little too quickly at the curb. So maybe I was still fuming that I had to leave Alexis’s warmth to deal with this bullshit tonight.

  For just one goddamned night, I wanted to pretend.

  The second the texts had started coming through, I’d wanted to put my fist through a wall.

  Last thing I wanted was to look at that good, good girl and give her some lame ass excuse about an old friend needing me.

  But I’d just been asking for this, hadn’t I? Taking the bits I shouldn’t?

  My passenger door flew open.

  “Where is he?” They were the first words that left my mouth.

  Anger ate through my spirit, this vicious ache that took me whole when I looked over at Veronica sliding into the front seat of my car.

  I’d taken a cab home from Alexis’, grabbed my car, and drove straight there.

  She scoffed. “I don’t even get a hello? Always such the gentleman.”

  Yeah. Because she was the epitome of class.

  “Think we’re a little past that point, don’t you?” It was all a sneer.

  She rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

  “Where is he?”

  “At my mom’s.”

  “Good.”

  A scowl twisted her face. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Was she really that clueless or was she just playing me?

  “It means at least I know he’s bein’ taken care of. That he’s safe.”

  “I’m his mother.”

  I wanted to shout at her to act like it then. Demand to know what had changed that she’d all of a sudden think it was fine to take him into that hellhole.

  But once I’d stopped to think about it, there’d been warning signs. She’d always been manipulative, doing whatever she had to do to slant things in her favor, like she got off on making me suffer. Previously, it’d never come at the cost of Liam’s safety and happiness.

  Over the last couple of years, I’d felt that sliding. Maybe I just hadn’t wanted to fathom the idea of her slipping into her old ways. Truth was, I probably should have been expecting it all along.

  This wasn’t the first time I’d been in the same situation, driving across town to meet her in the middle of the night. She’d texted, saying she needed to see me immediately. It was an “emergency”.

  I rubbed a hand over my face to try to clear all the bitterness.

  “You ready to tell me what this bullshit is all about? It’s three in the morning, Veronica, and it doesn’t look like you’re bleeding.”

  So maybe it was a dick move.

  A frown pulled tight across her brow. “You’re supposed to be here for me.”

  Right. Because we were just one big, happy family.

  “Which is why I’m here. So spill.”

  She dropped her gaze, fiddled with her fingers. The innocent, helpless act. “I need rent.”

  Of
course she did.

  My laughter was hostile. “Funny, seems like there’s a whole lot of money that went missing.”

  She shifted in the seat. “My momma needed help.”

  My jaw clenched. How many times had she used that excuse? Anthony had his guy digging, seeing if it was true.

  “How much?”

  “A couple thousand would be good…to cover rent and utilities. Food and stuff.” She was all defenseless and forlorn, playing it up.

  Goddamn it.

  I bit down on the edge of my bottom lip, drawing blood, wanting to fucking lash out. Instead, I sat forward a fraction and dug out my wallet. Already knew what her big emergency would be, so I was prepared.

  It wasn’t like this was something new.

  I pulled out a fat stack of cash. “I’ll give you a thousand. Your regular allowance will be landing in your account next week. Make this last.”

  She pouted before she caught my expression. The rage that floated just beneath the surface. Waiting to snap.

  She snatched it out of my hand. “You make me sound like a child.”

  Then stop acting like one.

  I gripped the steering wheel, and she reached out and touched my cheek.

  Too softly.

  I yanked my head back out of her reach.

  She cracked a smile and something malicious broke out from beneath the façade, voice saccharin sweet. “You wouldn’t go and cheat on me, now would you, Zee?”

  My chest tightened against the manipulation, like she was physically sinking her sleazy, skanky claws into my spirit. Twisting and twisting. The way she always had.

  “Pretty sure you’re the one who broke that vow a long time ago.”

  Her hand was on the door handle, words low with a threat. “I’m not the one who has to keep it.”

  Then she climbed out and was gone.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Zee ~ Eighteen Years Old

  Julie barreled down the aisle of the theatre and threw herself into Zachary’s arms. He picked her up and whirled her around.

  He was panting, still riding that high, floating in the clouds, trying to slow his heart rate and loving the way it raced at the same time.

  Joy.

  So much joy.

  “You did it.” Julie’s words were a breath that spun around him, infiltrating the disbelief that still thundered and sped.

  Reality was still trying to breach his consciousness.

  “I can’t believe it,” he said.

  She pulled back to look at him when he set her back on her feet. “You didn’t really think it’d turn out any other way?”

  “Considering the fact I couldn’t sleep for the last week, I think maybe that’s exactly what I was worried about.”

  Julie beamed at him. The girl was always wearing fitted sweaters and perfect hair and her grandma’s pearls. So damned pretty in a conservative kind of way. So different from the girls he’d grown up around, the one’s always hanging around his brother and his crew.

  “I’m really proud of you,” she said before she hiked up on her toes and whispered in his ear. “Just how tired are you?”

  Zee chuckled and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her flush, because he loved when she undid a few buttons and let her hair down. When she went from straitlaced to pliable and soft. “Don’t think I could ever be that tired.”

  “Good. Because I think this calls for a celebration.”

  “We’ve got that thing with my brother first.”

  Julie dropped back down, nerves taking her whole. “I don’t know if I’m really comfortable going over there.”

  “Hey, I know it’s a different vibe than what you’re used to, but I promise you, they’re good guys,” he told her, his hand on her face and his thumb running the hollow beneath her eye. “And this is my brother we’re talking about. He’s important to me.”

  She pressed her lips together, her fingers threaded through his. “I know he’s important to you. I just…that crowd isn’t the type I want to get mixed up in.”

  He tugged her closer and placed a kiss on the crown of her head. “I get it…and we’re not getting mixed up in it. But he’s throwing a party for me…because he cares about me. He’s doing it because of this.”

  Zee waved a hand at the piano. The piano he’d just poured his heart into during the audition. The piano that had felt like a lover. A caress. Perfection.

  Sitting behind it, Zee had never felt so alive.

  Just like Julie, Mark hadn’t questioned the outcome. He’d simply texted Zee before the audition.

  You own this, baby brother. Haven’t ever met anyone as talented as you. I’m back in town at 8. Tonight we celebrate.

  Zee threaded his fingers through Julie’s long brown hair, loving the way she felt in his arms. “Don’t worry, baby. I promise that I’ll take care of you. Today was the best day of my life…I need you there with me.”

  Julie nodded, her fingers twisting in his shirt. “I don’t want to be anywhere else.”

  Zee’s response was simple. “Good.”

  Because he didn’t want her anywhere else, either.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Zee

  Lunch?

  I sent off the text as soon as I left Lyrik’s place in the Hills. I hadn’t seen Alexis in a week and…I needed to.

  I was kind of going out of my mind, the memories of that night back at her house taunting me through the days and haunting me in the nights.

  She’d had to work throughout the week, and I’d spent almost every waking hour practicing with the guys. We’d shared a few texts during that time, skating around the subject, neither of us quite knowing where we stood.

  That was what happened when you blurred the lines.

  Resisting it had become too much.

  Thirty seconds later, my phone buzzed.

  Sure! Where?

  I tapped out a quick response.

  Why don’t I pick you up. Give me fifteen.

  Perfect. I’ll get ready.

  Less than thirteen minutes later, I rounded the last turn into her neighborhood, struck with another rush of anticipation at being with her again. I just couldn’t fucking help it.

  Not when she came skipping out her door looking like sweet, sweet sunshine, hair a white blaze of shimmery rivers running down her back. She was wearing a short, flowy dress, baby blue and printed with red flowers, thin straps over the shoulders.

  There probably wasn’t supposed to be anything sexy about it, but on her, it was close to obscene. The kind of temptation that made my fingers itch and my dick twitch.

  She didn’t even wait for me to get out of my car before she was swinging the passenger door open and jumping inside. An effortless smile rode those full lips and just a shade of pink tinted her cheeks.

  This girl was a damned knockout, and I wasn’t sure she had the first clue.

  “Hi.” She pulled her seatbelt on.

  When she glanced over at me, her teeth tugged at her lip. “I missed you,” she said, clearly not sure if she should say it.

  “I missed you, too.”

  I was damned sure I shouldn’t say it, but it was already there, making its claim in the air.

  That energy was compounded in the small space, and I did my best to pretend it wasn’t there, demanding attention, instead trying to keep things light. “Tell me you’ve kept your word and haven’t gone on any dangerous rescue missions since the last time I saw you.”

  A giggle slipped out beneath her breath. “No…I promise. Things have been pretty quiet in my neck of the woods for the last week.”

  Relief gusted through my spirit. “That’s good to hear.”

  Her eyes widened. “It’s good to hear that my life is boring?”

  I laughed. “Hey, sometimes boring is safe.”

  She feigned a pout. “That sounds boring.”

  My head shook as I turned onto the main road. “You’re insane.”

  She smiled one of those smiles t
hat knocked the breath from my lungs. “This we already know.”

  Twenty minutes later, I was ushering her inside the quaint, quiet café, a little off the beaten path and out of the way of prying eyes.

  The floors were a light blue stained concrete and the ceilings were pitched and made of glass. Rope lights draped from them and potted trees were situated around the space, almost giving it the feel of being outdoors.

  Alexis glimpsed at me from over her bare shoulder. “This place is amazing. How did you find it?”

  The hostess led us to the very back, and I held out her chair for her before I slid into the opposite side. “Guys and I used to hang out here every once in a while when we wanted to lie low. Get all of us together and things all of a sudden become a little more conspicuous.”

  Those blue eyes played a rhythm of comfort and ease. “I can only imagine.”

  “That, and they have about the best cheesecake in a thousand mile radius.”

  “Ah…a man with a sweet tooth, huh?”

  A grin ticked up at one side of my mouth. “What kind of man would I be if I didn’t have one? My mom used to make me clean my plate if I wanted dessert.”

  “I’m assuming it’s safe to say it was a good tactic?”

  “Uh…yeah. I would say so.” The chuckle that slipped free was wistful, the memory of the smile that used to grace my mom’s face stabbing the raw wound deep inside that would never heal.

  Alexis unfolded her menu. “Then cheesecake it is. But what do we eat first?”

  We ordered and the waitress brought us iced teas sweetened with real berries. Alexis took a sip of hers, peering at me from across the table, her voice turning into a breath as some of that redness flushed. “Is this…awkward?”

  The slightest chuckle tumbled out. “No, Alexis. I think this is just about as far from awkward as it could be. If anything, it’s much too comfortable.”

  Too easy and right.

  An affected, shy smile pulled at her mouth and she dropped her chin a fraction. Locks of that white hair fell over one shoulder as she tilted her head and played with her straw, jabbing at a blueberry with the end of it like it was a dagger.