by Ian Doescher
Ten thousand is the cost, and ev’ry bit
Shalt thou deliver ere we leave the dock.
LUKE
Ten thousand? Fie! We could our own ship buy
For such a sum as this.
HAN
—A goodly jest!
For who should pilot such a ship—shouldst thou?
LUKE
Thou knave, I could indeed! A pilot skill’d
Am I in my own right. [To Obi-Wan:] Now should we stay,
And be abusèd more by this man’s words?
OBI-WAN
Two thousand can we render to thee now,
And fifteen more deliver when we come
With safety unto Alderaan’s bright port.
HAN
Say, seventeen? Congratulations, men,
Thou hast a ship secur’d, and we’ll depart
Whene’er thou art prepar’d. Thou shalt find me
At docking harbor number ninety-four.
OBI-WAN
Aye, ninety-four.
HAN
—It seemeth that thou may
Already have provok’d some interest.
[Exeunt Obi-Wan and Luke as stormtroopers pass by.
CHEWBAC.
Egh.
HAN
—Seventeen! So must they desp’rate be!
This truly may my swift deliv’rance prove.
Go thou unto the ship and be prepar’d.
[Chewbacca exits.
In times now past have I poor judgments made,
And now these errors plague my very soul.
For freedom I was made—for taking wing!—
Yet as a markèd man I cannot fly.
For bound by debts, by duty and by fear,
I live my life along the razor’s edge:
One part of me that hunts for better life,
And one part hunted for the life I’ve led.
My own existence is a paradox—
A smuggler with a lover’s kindly heart,
A gambler with a noble spirit brave.
I would be better than it seems I am
If ever I transcend the man I was.
Perhaps this new employment shall reveal
The way I shall make straight my crooked path—
Thus heal my past and write a future new.
Enter GREEDO, stopping HAN SOLO as the latter begins to exit.
GREEDO
Na koona t’chuta, Solo?
HAN
—Yes, indeed,
Good Greedo, I have plann’d to make my way
Unto thy Master. Tell thou Jabba plain:
I have obtain’d his money.
GREEDO
—Soong peetch’lay.
Na mala tram pee chock makacheesa.
Na Jabba w’nin chee kosthpa murishan’
Tutyng ye wanya yoskah. Heh heh heh!
Na chas kee nyowyee koo chooskoo.
HAN
—’Tis true,
Yet this time is the money truly mine.
GREEDO
Keh lee chalya chulkah in ting coo’ng koos’.
HAN
[aside:] This bounty hunter doth my patience try.
[To Greedo:] Nay, nay, I have not money with me now.
Tell Jabba—
GREEDO
—Ny’chi withi! Ayl garu
Puyay enya aru gagu shuku
Shunu pu’aa ipi.
HAN
—But even I
From time to time have boarded been. Dost thou
Believe that e’er I had the choice?
GREEDO
—Dro Jabb’.
Na paknee abnya apna.
HAN
—Nay, not that:
The day when Jabba taketh my dear ship
Shall be the day you find me a grave man.
GREEDO
Nay oo’chlay nooma. Chespeka noofa
Na cringko kaynko, a nachoskanya!
HAN
Aye, true, I’ll warrant thou hast wish’d this day.
[They shoot, Greedo dies.
[To innkeeper:] Pray, goodly Sir, forgive me for the mess.
[Aside:] And whether I shot first, I’ll ne’er confess!
[Exeunt.
SCENE 2.
Inside the Death Star.
Enter DARTH VADER, GRAND MOFF TARKIN, and COMMANDER TAGGE.
VADER
The princess hath shown great resistance to
The mind probe—’twere as if she knew the Force
And hath a Jedi’s blood to overcome
The piercing of her mind by a machine.
Belike it shall some length of time yet be
Until we can extract the thoughts therein.
Enter ADMIRAL MOTTI.
MOTTI
The final tests are now complete at last.
And thus my news: the Death Star stands prepar’d.
Aye, fully operational it is.
So, Governor, what course shall we now set?
TARKIN
Perhaps the stubborn princess shall respond
To an alternative persuasiveness.
VADER
I prithee, Tarkin, say: what dost thou mean?
TARKIN
Pray patience, Darth—thou shalt my meaning learn.
Now time it is the power of this Death
Star shown to all shall be. Now, Admiral,
Go forth and set thy course for Alderaan.
MOTTI
I understand thee, and with pride obey.
[Exeunt Grand Moff Tarkin, Commander Tagge, and Admiral Motti.
VADER
The death of innocents doth bring me joy.
Because the dark side is my chosen path,
The senseless end of others pains me not.
For I have play’d the part of judge severe
And then have been the executioner.
Why would I care for those on Alderaan,
When I have murder’d innocents as they?
’Tis my dark calling, which I do embrace.
To Alderaan we fly on course direct,
And to this feast of death I’ll not object.
[Exit Darth Vader.
SCENE 3.
Mos Eisley, on the desert planet Tatooine.
Enter C-3PO and R2-D2.
C-3PO
I prithee, lockest thou the door anon!
[They hide behind door.
Enter STORMTROOPERS.
TROOPER 5
This door is lock’d. And as my father oft
Hath said, a lockèd door no mischief makes.
So sure am I that, thus, behind this door
Cannot be found the droids for which we search.
And thus may we move on with conscience clear.
[Exeunt stormtroopers. C-3PO and R2-D2 emerge.
C-3PO
I’ll tell thee true, I would with Master Luke
Prefer to go than now remain with thee.
I do not know what trouble here may be,
Yet certain am I thou deserv’st the blame.
R2-D2
[aside:] I’ll warrant, thou shalt have thy recompense!
[To C-3PO:] Squeak, whistle, beep, meep, nee, meep, whistle, squeak!
C-3PO
Hold thou thy cursing and most cursèd tongue!
Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI and LUKE SKYWALKER.
OBI-WAN
Thou must thy speeder sell.
LUKE
—That matters not.
For ne’er shall I return unto this place.
CHORUS
Young Luke doth with a buyer swiftly meet,
And in a trice a hasty deal is wrought.
A speeder sold along a dusty street—
But with the sale new chance for hope is bought.
LUKE
A paltry sum, in truth! Aye, ever since
The XP-38 hath been releas’d,
This model hath but little value. Fie!
OBI-WAN
Fe
ar not—it shall suffice. ’Twill serve our need.
[All stand aside.
CHORUS
Now while young Luke and Obi-Wan prepare,
Their deeds are watch’d by eyes as yet unseen.
With black beak menacing he spies the pair,
Then comes another fiend with portly mien.
Enter HAN SOLO with CHEWBACCA and JABBA THE HUTT with henchmen.
JABBA
Ba’Solo! Hay lapa no ya, Solo!
HAN
[aside:] Now, marry, ’tis an unexpected scene.
[To Jabba:] Aye, here, thou Jabba slimy and rotund.
I have awaited long thy coming here.
JABBA
Boonowa tweepi. Heh, ho, ha!
HAN
—Nay, nay!
Thou didst not think that I should run, didst thou?
JABBA
Na-Han mah bukee. Keel-ee c’leya kuk’h.
Wanta dah moolee-rah? Muh wonkee chee
Sa crispo Greedo?
HAN
—Next time thou dost wish
To counsel hold with me, pray come thyself!
Send not thy churlish dismal-dreaming knaves.
JABBA
Han, Han. Make-cheesay. Pa’sa tah nay
Ono caulky malia. Ee youngee
D’emperiolo teesaw. Twa spastik’
Wahl no. Yanee dah poo noo.
HAN
—Nay, see here!
As I have said before—O verily,
’Tis though I just have said thus—even I
From time to time have boarded been. Dost thou
Believe that e’er I had the choice? [Aside:] Aye, true,
It sometimes seemeth I repeat myself.
[To Jabba:] Now have I, though, a simple charter found,
And soon as it is done, thy payment shall
Be done as well—belike with interest.
I need but time and I shall do it, Sir.
JABBA
Na-Han ma bukee. Bargon yanah cot’
Da eetha. See fah luto tweentee, ee
Yaba na—
HAN
—Nay, say thou not so much.
Fifteen percent, I’ll warrant, shall be well.
JABBA
See fah luto eetheen, ee yaba ma
Dukey massa. Eeth wong che coh pa na
Geen, nah meet’ toe bunk’ dunko. Lo choda!
HAN
O Jabba, thou wert e’er a kindly soul.
JABBA
Boska!
[Exeunt Jabba and henchmen.
OBI-WAN
—Now if yon ship is truly fast,
As quick as this Han Solo boasted so,
We shall do well.
LUKE
[spying ship:] —What folly-fallen ship
Is this? What rough-hewn wayward scut is here?
HAN
Point-five past light speed shall she make, my lad.
Now truly, earneth she low marks for looks,
But still a finer spirit hath no ship.
Full many small improvements have I made
To render her e’en faster than before.
Now, marry, gentlemen, if thou agree,
We shall be off, and speedily, from here.
[Aside:] And if thy mouth insulteth it again,
I promise, boy, thy face shall meet my hand.
[Chewbacca, Obi-Wan, Luke, C-3PO, and R2-D2 board ship.
CHORUS
But ere the ship departs the sandy dock,
The stormtroopers appear with massive threat.
Informèd by the beak’d spy’s trait’rous talk,
They come upon the ship, with weapons set.
Enter STORMTROOPERS.
TROOPER 5
Pray, stop yon ship! Aye, blast them to the stars!
HAN
Chewbacca, prithee, hence! Now let us go!
C-3PO
O, traveling in space, it works me woe!
[Exeunt.
SCENE 4.
Space, aboard the Millennium Falcon.
CHORUS
Mos Eisley now is left behind at last,
While newer scenes come into view apace.
As Han’s Millenn’um Falcon flies far fast
The action of our play moves back to space!
Enter CHEWBACCA and HAN SOLO, in ship.
CHEWBAC.
Egh, auugh!
HAN
—Now are we follow’d hard upon
By an Imperi’l cruiser. Verily,
These passengers of great import must be
For they by th’Empire hotly are pursu’d.
Chewbacca, prithee, swift make our defense
And angle the deflector shield whilst I
Make plain the calculations for light speed.
Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI and LUKE SKYWALKER.
Now vigilance, my Wookiee! Quickly come
Two further ships, to try and block our path.
LUKE
Nay, wherefore canst thou not outrun them both?
For thou didst boast of this strange vessel’s speed.
HAN
[aside:] Again he prattles on about the ship!
O would that I had left him on the ground.
[To Luke:] Pray mark thy words, lad, else thou surely wilt
Become like refuse to a Star Destroy’r
And float away to vanish midst the stars.
I’ll warrant we shall soon in safety fly,
Once we the jump to hyperspace can make.
And what is more, my skill doth all exceed
At making keen maneuvers. All my life
Have I escap’d one scrape and yet one more.
Well I remember when—as but a boy—
I chas’d a nerf whilst on a speeder bike.
Through rocky field in harsh terrain we went,
Within, around and backward was our game.
I caught the nerf that splendid day, but aye,
It seems I have been dodging ever since.
OBI-WAN
How long, now, ere thou canst achieve lightspeed?
HAN
A few more moments shall it take whilst this
Computer doth its navigation work.
LUKE
But art thou mad? For certain they approach!
I have not made this journey just to die.
[Aside:] This man shall surely be the end of me.
HAN
The travel unto hyperspace is not
The same as thine a’dusting of the crops
Upon thy land of infinite dry sand.
Sans calculations quite exact, we would
Belike run through a belt of asteroids,
Or hit upon a planet’s center mark.
Should such our fate become, thy trip would end
Before it had begun.
LUKE
—But O, what now?
What light through yonder flashing sensor breaks?
HAN
It marks the loss of yon deflector shield.
I bid thee, peace! Now sit and thou take heed,
For all’s prepar’d to jump unto lightspeed.
CHORUS
Han graspeth quick the console in his hand,
Then suddenly the ship is bath’d in light.
With roar of engine—noise profound and grand—
The great Millenn’um Falcon takes her flight.
[Exeunt.
SCENE 5.
Inside the Death Star.
Enter GRAND MOFF TARKIN and ADMIRAL MOTTI.
MOTTI
Now are we come to th’system Alderaan.
Enter PRINCESS LEIA, bound, with guards and DARTH VADER.
LEIA
Ah! Gov’nor Tarkin, scurvy knave art thou.
Now seems it plain to me that Vader doth
Perform the part of docile dog unto
The sick’ning whinny of his Master’s voice.
Familiar stench of dog’s best friend have I
/> Mark’d deep within my sense of smell e’en when
I came unto this station.
TARKIN
—Ever wert
Thou charming, Leia, even to the last.
Thou couldst not comprehend how hard it was—
Aye, verily, how I did sigh and weep—
To give the order to destroy thy life.
LEIA
Surpris’d am I thou had the courage so
To take responsibility for such
As this unto thy cowardly, small self.
TARKIN
[aside:] She groweth ever bolder, which doth but
Increase my appetite to see her scream.
[To Leia:] My Princess, ere thou executed art,
I would thou join me for a moment full
Of pomp and circumstance. For at this grand
And noble ceremony shall the pow’r
Of this great battle station here be shown
To be quite fully operational.
Now no star system shall e’er dare oppose
The Emperor.
LEIA
—O but how wrong thou art!
The more that thou dost exercise thy grip,
The more star systems through that grip shall fall.
TARKIN
Not after we have shown the power vast
This battle station shall to them display.
And to the point: thou hast determin’d what
The prim’ry demonstration of its force
Shall be—which planet shall oblivion face.
[Aside:] Now shall I drive this nail unto its home,
And watch with joy as she with grief is torn.
[To Leia:] Since thou hast so refus’d to grant to us