by Maddy Barone
She paused to consider the small, jagged pain those images pushed through her chest. Jealousy. Did she even have a right to be jealous? Yes. Well, maybe. He said she was his mate. From what he and Nikki told her, his people didn’t share their women like Brother Saul’s commune did. If they were married, she would darned well demand that he leave other women alone. Then again, if he could be with only her she didn’t need to worry about other women. And any other woman who pursued him would face her.
Married. She wasn’t sure if she wanted that or not. But she liked watching him sleep. He was wearing the borrowed jeans, but his torso was bare. Long, lean muscles showed in his shoulders and arms. She could barely see his belly past his folded arms. She leaned a little forward to get a better look. He certainly couldn’t be called girlish.
Her hair fell from behind her ear. She jerked back too late. A large brown hand shot out and gripped her shoulder. Cole blinked. Eyes the color of melted bitter chocolate fixed on her.
“Good morning,” she squeaked.
His hand dropped away. He lifted his head from the bed to glance at the window. “Not morning,” he said in a low, gravelly whisper.
“Um, no, I guess it’s late afternoon. Maybe.” She coughed and drew herself to a sitting position, excruciatingly aware that he could see her borrowed nightgown. She pulled the blankets high, which was stupid. The worn cotton flannel covered a lot more of her than her dinner dress had. “Sorry to wake you.”
His smile was disarmingly sleepy. “That’s alright. What are you thinking about?”
“You,” she blurted.
His smile broadened. “I like that. I thought about you the whole time I patrolled.”
Darn it, why had she blurted that out? “Did you see anything?” She swallowed. “Any sign that my stepfather followed us?”
“No.” He lifted his head and straightened so he sat facing her, hands on his thighs. “No, nothing. Tell me more about thinking of me.”
It was an order that for some reason didn’t raise her hackles. Maybe it was the low gentle growl, or maybe it was the sight of his bare chest. Since she hadn’t seen many bare chests, she couldn’t call herself an expert, but his was intriguingly beautiful. The heat of a blush burned her cheeks. She made herself look at her hands. “Nikki spoke to me about your tribe. I mean, your pack. Is that the right word?”
“Pack works.”
“She said that you don’t ever force a woman to accept a mate claim.” She shook her head slightly over the absurdity of mates and claims.
“Never,” he said immediately.
Her fingers twisted in the sheet. She lifted her head to look him in the eye. “You said I am your mate. How do you know that? Are you sure I am your mate? Nikki said you can have only one mate in your whole life.”
“Only one,” he agreed. “When I first saw you in the coffee shop in Omaha, I knew. My wolf jumped around inside me like a young colt running for the first time. He loved your scent. Everything about you woke him up.” He lifted one muscled shoulder in a shrug. “I don’t know how to explain it. He’s never done that before. I could feel how focused he was. All of his attention was on you.”
“Oh.” Gina looked away and took quiet breaths to still her heart, which was kicking against her ribcage. He was being surprisingly open. She liked it. “Nikki said you didn’t choose the woman; the wolf did. Are you alright with him picking me?”
He used one finger to turn her chin to face him. “Yes.”
Such a simple word; such a gentle, open expression on his face. He was being charming. She wasn’t sure she trusted it. Or maybe she liked it too much. She scowled at him. “I am a bad choice. Look at all the trouble my stepfather has caused.”
He smiled. “You are the perfect choice.”
“I’m not pretty,” she blurted.
His eyes blinked wide. “You’re not?”
There was no hint of mockery or pretend confusion. Was he actually surprised by her words? “The only reason any man has wanted to marry me is because of my stepfather.”
He made a noise of disgust deep in his throat. “Do you think I want anything from Todd except for him to go away forever? No, I want you because you’re my mate.”
She pulled her chin away and was quiet for a minute, trying to arrange her words so they would be honest, but not confrontational. “You want me because I am now the only woman you can ever have. Nikki explained that you can’t ever be with another woman as long as I am alive, even if I don’t accept your mate claim.”
“That’s true.”
“That’s why you want me to accept your mate claim. Not because you care about me.”
His eyebrows formed a straight line over his eyes. “I do care about you.”
Appearing vulnerable was a mistake she hadn’t made since she was a child. She licked her lips and steeled herself to say something that would make her vulnerable. “You don’t even know me. I want the impossible. I want what my mom and dad had. Being Gerald Todd’s stepdaughter made that about as likely as walking on the moon.”
“What is it?” he demanded. “What did they have that you want?”
“Love. I want my husband to love me.”
He nodded, looking less arrogant and more thoughtful. She liked that he took a minute to think before responding. “My mom and dad are mates. They never knew each other before he won her in a Bride Fight, but they fell in love with each other.” He cupped her cheek with a gentle hand. “I want what you want. I want a mate who loves me. We can get to know each other. We can learn to love one another.”
He made it sound so reasonable. So easy. But learning to love one another wasn’t the same as falling in love. Her mom told her that she could learn to love Brussel sprouts if she just tried. She still couldn’t stand them. Falling in love shouldn’t take effort. It should just happen.
His hand firmed on her cheek. “Gina? Can’t we try?”
She forced a smile. “Sure. We can try.”
****
Five hours later Gina was in the mudroom, dressed in the same borrowed jeans, sweater and socks, plus a shabby winter coat that had once been brown and was now nondescript beige, and a brown wool hat that was a little too big. Gina didn’t mind at all. This trip to Omaha would be as cold as last night, but the addition of the winter gear would make her much more comfortable. Colby was wearing the ill-fitting jeans and a threadbare flannel shirt, but not shoes or coat. He said he would be fine. Wolf warriors didn’t feel the cold like humans did. Gina hid her doubts about this. Maybe if he got cold he would turn into his wolf again.
She gave Nikki a tight hug. “Thank you so much for everything you’ve done. Remember to burn my dress right away.”
The older woman returned the hug. “It’s a shame to destroy it, but I will.”
Beside her, Cole nodded firmly. “If the Kansas-Missourians come and see that dress they’ll know you’ve helped us. I hate to think of what they would do to you.”
Mr. Clarkson shuddered. “No worries. They’ve never crossed the river, but if they do, we haven’t seen you.”
Cole shook his hand. “The Pack owes you.”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Mr. Clarkson smiled at his wife. “If it wasn’t for your kin saving Nikki I wouldn’t be the happy man I am today.”
Gina’s breath caught. The older man wasn’t handsome, but the tenderness on his face when he looked at his wife made him achingly attractive. Her heart ached a little in longing. She wanted a man to look at her like that. She flicked a glance at Cole. If she accepted him, would he look at her like that twenty-five years from now?
After one more hug and a round of handshakes, Cole led her out to the yard. They walked past the gate and down the road. When Gina turned around to look back at the house, she saw Nikki wave to her from the mudroom door. She waved back.
“They were so nice,” she said, stuffing her hands in her coat pockets. “It’s a miracle that we took shelter with someone you knew.”
“Actually, I do
n’t know them. Nikki lived at the Plane Women’s House and knew my parents. When we get home, I’ll take you to the Plane Women’s Eatery for supper.”
Gina would settle for getting to Omaha. She would feel safer there. She dreaded this walk. “How long until we get to Omaha?”
“That depends on how fast we walk. If we keep at this pace, it will be about five hours. Maybe a little longer. If we slow down or get bogged down in mud, it will be longer, maybe six or seven hours.” He tilted his head and looked up at the sky. “It’s ten o’clock now, so even if we move slowly we should get to the gates of Omaha before dawn.”
She lengthened her stride. Cole put a hand on her arm.
“Don’t rush. You’ll get tired faster. We’ll keep to the roads as much as possible. It’s easier walking and any tracks we leave will blend with other tracks, but we’ll have to go cross country at some point.”
She wanted to deny being tired, but he would probably know she was lying. She was not as tired as she was last night, but they had been walking for only twenty minutes so far. “Okay.”
His hand slid down her arm into her pocket and clasped her hand. “Are you cold?”
“No.” It wasn’t a lie, but if he asked again in an hour she would probably have a different answer. “You can let go of my hand.”
His fingers tightened over hers. “No.”
She stopped on the road. His momentum carried her half a step further before she dug in her heels. “You want me to accept you? Then stop being so bossy. You don’t have the right to just grab my hand and then refuse to let go when I tell you to.”
The cold moonlight showed his eyes go from narrow to wide. His mouth dropped open, and then closed. “Your hands will be cold. Nikki didn’t have any mittens or gloves for you.”
“So you were holding my hand only to keep me warm?”
He blinked. She could see a struggle on his face. “Not completely.” He pulled his hand out of her pocket and bent a little to look into her face. “Sorry. I’m an alpha. I know I’m bossy. My sister complains about it all the time. I’ll try to do better, I promise.”
That was a pretty decent apology. “Okay. I guess I can’t ask for more than that.”
She started walking again. She would try to learn to love him and he would try to not be bossy. Huh. They both had their work cut out for them.
They walked in near silence for two hours before Cole guided her into a field. The cold had seeped into her bones and her head ached from falling yesterday, but she didn’t mention it. Clouds had covered the moon, making it hard for Gina to see.
“Time for some harder walking,” he said apologetically. “About two miles through some fields, and then we’ll be on the main road to Omaha.” He hesitated. “If you need help, let me know.”
“Was that so hard?” she asked. When he showed her a confused face, she clarified. “Being willing to wait for me to ask for help.”
“Yeah,” he said frankly. “I’m not used to it. But I want to be your mate, so I’m trying.”
The earnest note in his voice softened her. “Will you give me a hand going down this ditch and back up?”
Pleasure warmed his smile. She accepted his hand to climb down into a ditch and back up to a field, and then tucked her hands firmly back into her coat pockets. Gina couldn’t see five feet ahead. The road had been a hard surface, mostly clear of snow and mud, but the field was different. She tried to move briskly, but after only ten minutes she lost speed. Cole hadn’t touched her since he’d released her hand at the edge of the field. Now, as she slogged through only half-frozen mud and stumbled over ridges in the dirt, she knew it was time to ask for help again.
She turned to look up at him. “Cole, can we slow down a little?”
His smile almost glowed. She narrowed her eyes, ready to slap down his gloating, but he didn’t look like he was gloating. He looked … happy. Happy? She opened her mouth to say something, but her mud caked shoe caught on a branch half buried in the muddy slush, and with her hands buried in her pockets she couldn’t keep her balance. The only reason she didn’t pitch face first into the muck was Cole. He swooped and caught her before she hit the ground.
“Are you all right?” he asked, and she could have sworn he sounded honestly concerned.
Being held so close to his warm chest let her know just how cold she had gotten. “Yes.” She wiggled her foot, which was several inches above the ground. “No damage done.”
He didn’t let her down. “Would you― Could I ―” He blew a breath out. “It would be better if I could lift you, at least until we get to the Omaha road.”
Her mouth dropped open. “You mean carry me?”
Even in the dark she could see how his eyes lit up. “Yeah, that would be good.”
“No!”
“But then there would be only one set of footprints,” he coaxed. “If the Kansas-Missourians try to track us they would be confused.”
She stared up at him, uncertain. “Even if they come after us, will they be able to see our tracks in the dark?” Her eyes narrowed. “You just want to hold me.”
“Maybe,” he admitted with a smile.
Still no gloating. It confused Gina. “I can walk.”
He sighed. “Okay.” He set her down. “But can I hold your hand? Just so you won’t fall?”
Her hand was cold, her fingertips stinging. “Okay.”
His broad palm wrapped around hers seemed to warm her whole body. They didn’t speak much on their trek over the uneven ground, but she liked his hand tucked into her pocket. Holding hands with a man was another thing she hadn’t done before. It was strangely comfortable. She felt a connection between them, as if their joined hands were a bridge from her heart to his. No wonder lovers held hands.
“Talk to me,” he said. “Tell me about something that made you happy.”
That was easy. “Getting away from Kansas City to live anonymously in Omaha.”
“You hate him, don’t you?”
No need to ask who “he” was. “Yes. No. Yes.”
He looked down at her and lifted one brow. “Yes?”
To get away from his stare, she watched where she put in feet on the uneven ground. “I hate him. I hate what he does to other people. And I’m scared of him sometimes. But once in a while he is sweet to me. It’s hard to explain.”
“No.” Cole’s tone was considering. “I think I understand. Nine times out of ten he is a monster, but the tenth time he makes you think he might be a good guy. You just can’t tell when the tenth time will be.”
She jerked her gaze up to blink at him. “Yeah, that’s how he is. Is that like your dad?”
“No.” He shook his head decisively. “My dad is like a rock. What you see is what you get. He’s not nice one minute and mean the next.” A small grin appeared. “Most people think he’s always mean. I guess he is to outsiders, not to his Pack, and never to my mom. He doesn’t treat her like she’s a helpless kitten, but he doesn’t take chances with her safety either. They love each other and they don’t mind showing it. At the den, my dad lets his wolf out and he and my mom chase each other around the yard. My mom squeals and laughs like she was still my sister’s age.” His smile faded to seriousness and he squeezed her hand. “That’s what I want.”
She made a noncommittal sound, but she turned it over in her mind. She couldn’t remember her mother and President Todd ever playing. Or even laughing.
It took them an hour and a half to get across the fields and onto a road. Gina paused to scrape as much mud off her shoes as possible. Strangely, Colby’s bare feet had almost no mud on them. “Aren’t you cold?’ she asked.
He shrugged. “No.”
“Are you sure? I mean, you don’t have any shoes or a coat.”
Cole laughed. “I’m fine. But if you’re worried, you could put your arms around me to keep me warm.”
“Hmph.” She marched down the road, leaving him laughing behind her.
He caught up quickly. “Are you
cold? Aren’t you afraid you might trip? I should hold your hand.”
“I can walk just fine on the road,” she said primly. But she missed the warmth of his hand. “How much farther to Omaha?”
Cole glanced up at the sky. “Less than three hours. Maybe only two. The road is good.” He looked back at her with a faint frown. “You’re tired. I can hear you panting.” The tone of his voice took a commanding edge. “We’ll rest a little.”
Trudging through the mud had tired her, but her back stiffened at the order. “We can walk slowly for ten or fifteen minutes. I want to get to Omaha. My stepfather won’t be able to get me there, not without a lot of trouble.”
He touched her cheek, the lightest brush of warm fingers. “I want you safe, too.”
She turned away from his touch and walked down the road. As she walked she realized she liked him touching her. A small thrill tingled through her. It’s not love, she told herself. He’s handsome, but that is not love. She picked up her pace to leave those thoughts behind. He kept up with her easily, and soon her pace slowed. She wouldn’t admit it, but she was weary.
He didn’t talk much. He walked alongside her but kept most of his attention on their surroundings. Gina was sure no one would be able to sneak up on them. But who would sneak up on them except her stepfather’s men? They saw no one on the road, although when the moon was clear, Gina could make out farmhouses here and there. It must be a few hours after midnight. Everyone was sleeping. It was still and peaceful out here. Only twenty-four hours earlier she had been walking through the cold night, but this was different and much better. For instance, she was walking alongside a man, not behind a wolf, and she was dressed warmly. She wasn’t looking over her shoulder every other minute to check for pursuit, and she knew their destination. Compared to last night this was a pleasure stroll.