“Rebecca, I love you and want you to be my wife. But I want to have my finances in better shape and have some time to court you before we are married and you become a full-time wife and mother. You know as well as I do how the droughts, then the blizzards all but destroyed this ranch. But Adam and I have it figured, if all goes as planned the next few months, we should be able to get back on firm footing.”
To Rebecca, it sounded like another excuse to avoid something perhaps he really didn’t want. Is he sorry now he asked me to marry him?
“I’ll be working days on the ranch, and afternoons and evenings I’ll be focusing on my saddle orders. We can talk about our future after I get things caught up.”
Rebecca felt her heart race as she entered the barn and caught sight of Sam. This afternoon, he was in the process of nailing rawhide in place on a saddle. The muscles in his arms flexed as his hammer swung quickly and efficiently. His lips were pressed together in concentration, but the moment he saw her he broke into a smile, displaying a chip of a dimple on the right side of his mouth. “Hello there, pretty lady. I was wondering if you were going to stop in to see me today. Is that a new dress?”
Rebecca felt her face blush. “Not new exactly. It is one Molly let me have. I would have been by earlier, but I got sidetracked by a couple of adorable children.”
His blue eyes twinkled. “They are adorable alright. But I don’t think I like the way this conversation is going. What did they do?”
“Nothing too terrible.” Rebecca smiled encouragingly. “Don’t worry. They are going to talk to you about it this afternoon.”
“Have a seat and forewarn me, while I finish this saddle.”
Rebecca approached the railing separating the work area from the barn. As she gathered her skirts, Sam scooped her up and placed her on the rail. His eyebrows rose. “You been sick? It feels like you’ve lost more weight.”
Rebecca blushed. In a previous conversation with Sam about the high prices in town, he misinterpreted something she said and thought she was pressuring him to marry her. She eyed him, wondering how to respond. Honesty is best. “I know what you are going to say. But things are expensive in town. Why the price of an apple, for example, is outrageous. I am eating a bit less than I was before, but that can’t be helped.”
“I thought you ate at the boarding house?”
Rebecca shook her head. “Miss Mabel raised her prices the same as everybody else. I can hardly manage to pay for my room, much less afford to eat there.”
Sam gave a half-smile. “I know it’s no use me offering you money since you will refuse it. But you need to put your health first, eat more and spend less on other things. Otherwise, a good wind might come along and blow you away.”
Rebecca bit her lip and changed the subject. “I thought you wanted to hear about the girls.”
Sam’s mouth stretched in mock fear. “Not sure ‘want’ is the word I would use.”
Rebecca laughed, then explained the girls’ antics with the pigs. “They say they are teaching them tricks.”
Sam paused from his work. “Pigs are smart. They like attention too. I knew the girls liked watching them. But I didn’t know they were taking them out of the pen. My worry is they will become attached, then get upset when their pet ends up on the breakfast table.”
Rebecca nodded. “I guess we have all heard not to name our food. I suppose teaching it tricks would be even worse.”
“Did I tell you I caught them keeping one of the chickens in their room? The thing was sleeping with them on their bed.”
Rebecca laughed as Sam stepped closer, pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket. Unfolding and smoothing the drawing, he showed her an intricate plan for a saddle.
Rebecca traced the design with her finger. “Oh, it’s going to be beautiful.”
He reached for a strand of Rebecca’s hair, blowing across her face, then wrapped it around his finger. “It is that.”
Rebecca blushed. “Who is it for?”
“I got another visit from your friend, Mr. Weber. He wanted a new saddle for himself and brought me an order for his brother. If things keep going like this, I should be able to pay my part of the taxes, buy supplies and put a little aside. Once I have things in order, it will be time for me and you to take the next step.”
What does he mean exactly? Rebecca was hesitant to pose the question. Finances seemed to be a touchy subject between her and Sam. She avoided his gaze as he reached for her and set her down.
Sam’s brow furrowed. “It ought to be about time for dinner. My stomach has been rumbling for an hour in anticipation of some of those biscuits you make. And know this, young lady, I am going to watch you like a hawk, to make sure you eat.”
Rebecca sighed. “I eat my share.”
“I don’t know what your share is, but you best double, even triple it.”
Sam took his finger and lifted Rebecca’s chin to look into her eyes. “I’m not trying to shame you, honey. But you need to take better care of yourself. The dress you have on is pretty, but it is hanging off of you.”
Rebecca crossed her arms and glared at Sam. “You’ve made your point.”
Sam exhaled. “Alright, let’s drop the subject for now. We have such limited time together I don’t want to spend it arguing. Why don’t you and I sit down after dinner and look at how you are spending your money. The first thing you should be focusing on is room and board.”
Rebecca’s hands clenched into fists. “You want to teach me to budget?”
Taking her arm, Sam began leading her toward the house. “I know how smart you are with numbers. But budgeting is hard and takes discipline. You will have to cut out non-essentials, like all those things you keep bringing my girls.”
Rebecca pulled her hand from the crook in Sam’s arm and faced him squarely. “You are accusing me of being undisciplined? I told you I traded work with Lois for that fabric. Besides, you’ve never had a problem with me doing things for the girls before. Are you still angry because I talked to my friend about their dresses getting too short?”
Sam looked away, rubbing his chin. “Look, I don’t want you worrying about Sadie and Grace. But you are right; I sure don’t like you discussing my daughters’ needs in public. Let me be the one to worry about them.”
Crossing her arms, Rebecca glared at Sam. “As, I recall, you didn’t even realize the girls’ knees were showing. Would you have me ignore such a thing? Do you want your girls to go around dressed unsuitably?”
Sam placed his hands on his hips. “Now hold on there. Is that not the pot calling the kettle black? Instead of focusing on my kids, you might want to look in the mirror. You are wearing other people’s castoffs; your boots have patches over patches, and you are about as thin as a rail.”
Rebecca gasped. Her face burned from anger. Turning her back, she walked away as tears rolled down her cheeks.
Sam followed, touching her arm and turning her to him gently. “Rebecca, wait, that came out all wrong. I’m sorry.” Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a handkerchief and gently wiped her tears. “Listen, I haven’t said much about my first marriage. But it was an unhappy one. Mostly because we jumped ahead, married too young, and then the girls came along right away. I worked from morning to night, trying to make ends meet, which left her to tend to the girls by herself. When I got home, I tried to take over to help with the girls, but even so, we were both exhausted.” Sam blew air into his cheeks and released it slowly.
“I’ve seen personally how rushing things can ruin a relationship. And when you add money troubles on top of everything else, it will tear a marriage apart. I want to make sure we start out on the right foot, that I can handle the expenses, and my family agrees on how money should be managed.” Swallowing hard, Sam looked toward the house. “For now, I think it is best if you concentrate on yourself. I will take care of Sadie and Grace.”
Rebecca nodded. I am not going to stand here and let him see me continue to cry. Catching sight of the girl
s as they called out to their pa, she turned and walked in the opposite direction.
Chapter 5
Dear Papa,
I like the stories in the Bible about Moses. Papa Horace says he died before he ever got to Texas…
Adam Brady unbuttoned and rolled up his tight shirt sleeves, freeing the movement of his upper arms. Not one to offer his opinion most of the time, Rebecca was surprised when he had asked to speak with her.
He rubbed his chin and let out a breath before speaking. “Molly and I talked it over. We think you should wait for Sam to make the first move. I personally think you shouldn’t go over to his place or do another thing for his ungrateful … for him or his girls. He pays Emma to do work for him. Let her do whatever she and Sam agreed on, and if something doesn’t get done, that is fine too.”
Rebecca felt her mouth curl upwards. Adam may be Sam’s older brother, but she knew that he also had her best interest at heart. Their eyes met for a moment before he leaned back in his rocker. “I remember when you came to live with Horace the second time. It was months before you could have visitors. When they finally asked us to stop by and I saw the state you were in, it was all I could do not to take matters into my own hands with your father. I credit Pastor Nelson for calming me.”
Adam glanced out into the darkness. “He called a special prayer meeting. Men I know had never darkened the door of a church showed up, to ask for God’s intervention. It was some of the most heartfelt prayers I have ever heard. I prayed and tried to believe, but I honestly never thought you would make it through the winter. Miraculously, you did and won everyone over with that smile of yours.”
Rebecca blinked back tears and swallowed hard. “I never thought about how others suffered because of their concern for me. I have vague memories of struggling to breathe and being rocked in the kitchen, near a kettle of boiling water. And someone was always trying to get me to drink hot tea.”
Adam wiped his face with his neck scarf. “God used your circumstance to reacquaint a lot of us with Him. A big part of your recovery had to do with Him sending Molly to nurse you. I will never forget the day I truly noticed her. She was driving you in a pony cart, parading you around town. Later, she held you on her lap and let Emma and Seth take turns driving you. After that, I was smitten.”
“I remember when you two got married.” Rebecca leaned forward and smiled. “Emma and I were so excited. Molly looked like a princess. On the other hand, poor Seth was miserable because he had a terrible case of poison ivy. I can still picture you both standing in the church listening to the pastor and the advice he gave.”
Adam chuckled. “I had forgotten about the poison ivy. He was one miserable fellow. Molly did look beautiful. Every day since I count my blessings she agreed to marry me. As far as the ceremony, I don’t recall anything except when he got to the part where we said I do.”
Rebecca’s smile turned to a frown. “My recollection is the pastor said if you want to know what kind of spouse someone will be, think about how they treat their parents. It worried me since I don’t remember much about my mother and what I recall about my father is not good. What kind of wife will I be if my relationship with my father has anything to do with it? Maybe that is why my relationship with Sam is a mess.”
Adam’s eyes rolled skyward then he gave Rebecca a wink. “There seems to be plenty of blame to go around in that respect. None of us are any good on our own. Which is why it’s important to lean on God and allow him to help you to be the person He wants you to be. Even so, you might have hit on something. Maybe it would help you to meet with your father and talk to him about how you feel. It is possible there is more to the situation than we know. I have delayed telling you, but we have received some additional information from your mother’s cousin. It was her understanding your father was in communication with you and providing for you financially.”
Rebecca’s mouth dropped. “You believe that? What about all those letters that were returned to me unopened? If he was interested, the least he could have done was to read them.”
“Now hold on. All I am saying is it might be good to get everything out on the table. If nothing else, your pa can apologize for being a heartless, low-down son of a … snake he is.”
Adam left his rocker and took a seat next to her. “I’m sorry, Rebecca, it is hard for me to hide my animosity for the man. No matter what, none of this is your fault. It is a father’s duty to care for his child. I don’t want you to get your hopes up. Even so, this seems the appropriate time for you to take the initiative and explore the relationship. If nothing else, it might be a way to allow you to heal and go on.”
Rebecca felt her lips quiver, and she wiped her cheeks with both hands to stop the stream of tears from flowing. Adam lit a lantern and approached her with concern. “I know Molly would make you some of that tea she’s always encouraging you to drink. How about if I bring you back a cup of cold water instead?”
Adam returned with a drink from the well. Rebecca accepted it gratefully.
“I was afraid I would make a mess of this. Come on now. I can’t stand it when you girls cry. It cuts me like a knife to the gut. Which is why I usually keep my mouth shut. Seeing as how your own father was too sorry… I mean is not here to talk things through about decisions you need to make, I felt like I should. There I go again making it worse. Molly would be so much better at this; do you want me to take you to her?”
Embarrassed and not wanting to worry Molly further, Rebecca waved her hand in dismissal. Suppressing a cough, she tried to concentrate on breathing evenly. “No, please don’t worry Molly,” she choked.
“Don’t talk, just listen. I see myself in some of the things Sam is doing. I know something is troubling him. But whatever it is, that’s for him to figure out. I don’t want you to get caught in the crossfire. What he said was hurtful. He should have expressed it better. Even so, you of all people know how important it is to take proper care so that you can remain in good health. I would never have thought I would say this. Molly and I both agree and think you should accept the offer to visit your mother’s cousin.”
Pausing for a moment as if to gauge Rebecca’s reaction, Adam rubbed his chin before sitting beside her on the step. “You have got to be surprised by that. I am surprised myself.”
“We haven’t encouraged you to make their acquaintance until now because we were suspicious of the timing of her offer and were uncertain if she could be trusted. Your attorney, Peter, has done some investigating on your behalf. The family has a good reputation, and at this point, I feel confident you will be taken care of and provided for. Besides, I think it will be good to give you and Sam some time away from each other. How is it the old saying goes, ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’?”
Chapter 6
Dear Papa,
Locust came in a cloud and ate everything except for the canned beets. I hate beets too…
Rebecca looked at her feet and sighed. “Lois, I know some of what you are saying is true; when I care about someone, I want to make them happy. But I am making a poor job of it with Sam. I am doing the same thing with you today, aren’t I? You never asked for me to charge in here and take control of your business. I am sorry.”
Lois placed her arm around Rebecca’s shoulders. “Don’t be silly. I have asked your opinion about this shop on more than one occasion. You have good ideas and made some valid points. I appreciate your help. You made me realize we need to use what we have.”
Rebecca grinned at her friend, “What we have?”
Lois gave Rebecca’s shoulder a squeeze saying, “You brought the feed sacks, didn’t you? We are going to use the dresses you designed, not to mention the doll patterns. I hope you are right because if I don’t sell something soon, there won’t be enough money to pay rent. Still, do you actually think the men might buy dolls?”
Understanding her friend's concern, she was reminded of a favorite quote of Papa Horace. “Desperate times call for desperate measures.” Rebecc
a smiled at her friend. “I hear some of the men talking about how much they miss their families. Dolls might be the very thing. Have you considered adding some men’s shirts as well?”
Lois looked out the window toward the diner and hotel with a frown. “So many men in town and not a woman in sight. My dream was a dress shop, but I see your point. Things are not running in my favor.”
Rebecca followed her gaze, touching the window pane. Several businessmen, including her deceased guardian, worked together to give the railroad a right of way in hopes of boosting the faltering economy by making their town a water stop and trading post. The plan some called a T-town, was designed and built on one side of the tracks and boasted a post office, blacksmith, general merchandise, barber shop, gristmill, and livery stable. A stockyard had been built a few miles north to create a holding area for cattle and other livestock that would be shipped by rail directly to various meatpacking plants.
Rebecca put on an encouraging smile. “Think of it as a temporary solution, to keep things going until there are more women in town. Do you have any fabric we could use to make more dolls? An infant or handkerchief style with your embroidery skills would have the sweetest little faces. What do we have to lose?”
“There’s that we again.” Lois smiled and brought Rebecca into another warm embrace.
“Whenever I need a good hug, this is definitely the place to come. I was hoping I could take advantage of your good nature and you wouldn’t mind me hanging around with you in the afternoons for a week or so?”
Lois blinked back her tears as she regarded her shop. “Actually, I could use the company, and if you can help me implement some of your ideas, maybe we can make a success of this place.”
Rebecca's Hope Page 3