by Carrie Carr
EARLY THE NEXT morning, Lex awoke at her usual time. She turned her head to check the digital clock beside the bed. Just once I wish my internal alarm had a snooze button. It was dark outside, and the previous night’s thunderstorm had settled down to a more peaceful rain. She cautiously took a deep breath to see how her ribs were doing and was pleased when she only felt an ache and not the sharp pains of the night before.
In no hurry to get up, Lex glanced across at her companion and noticed that Amanda had gotten over her nightmares and was sleeping peacefully. Her youthful features were unlined, and Amanda's face wore the open look of someone with no worries in life. Now dry, her hair was slightly lighter than the almost brown of the day before. One strand was lying across Amanda's face and Lex had the urge to brush it out of the way before realizing that Amanda was holding her hand. It seems so natural to have her here beside me. Was it just yesterday that we met? Maybe it’s the ordeal that we went through together, but— Her thoughts drifted off when Amanda pulled their joined hands to her chest and snuggled deeper into her pillow.
Lex stayed right where she was for a little longer, not wanting to take the chance of ruining the moment and ending the contact Amanda sought in her sleep. As Lex continued to gaze at Amanda, she felt the beginnings of something stirring deep within her. It was akin to the feeling she had when Amanda had held her and comforted her out in the mud and the rain. Telling herself that it was just the extreme situation they had been in, and that strong emotions were a natural result, she fought to push her feelings aside.
Besides, lying here isn't going to make the day go by any faster, Lexington. Disgusted with her woolgathering, Lex gently pulled her hand from Amanda’s grasp, rolled out of bed, and padded quietly into the bathroom. After making herself more presentable, Lex came out of the bathroom, took a final peek at the sleeping woman, and slipped silently from the room. Still sore from the previous day's adventure, Lex took the stairs slowly and followed her nose to the kitchen, where she could smell fresh coffee brewing.
Martha was already up and into her daily routine. She hummed a nameless tune while she pulled several items from the refrigerator and carried them over to the counter.
Grinning mischievously, Lex waited until she was directly behind the older woman before speaking. "Morning, Martha."
The housekeeper whirled around, one hand covering her heart. "Blast it Lexie. You’re gonna be the death of me one of these days." But she was smiling, and she raised her hand to cup the cheek of the other woman in an affectionate gesture. "How are you feeling this morning?"
Lex covered the hand on her face with one of her own. Martha Rollins was so dear to her. She was the only maternal figure Lex could really remember. Lex did have a brief memory of a beautiful dark-haired woman sitting at the piano in the drawing room and singing to her as she sat next to her on the bench. But the woman standing in front of her now was the one who raised her. It was Martha who cleaned her scraped knees, spanked her with a wooden spoon when she misbehaved, and listened to her hopes and dreams as she was growing up.
She remembered when she was about eight or nine, and the housekeeper held her as she cried over the cruel teasing she received in school. Not having someone to make a Mother's Day card for, Lex's young mind decided that she must be too bad to have a mother and came home completely upset. Martha wiped her tears and assured her that wasn't the case, and that she loved Lex as her own. From that moment on, Lex showed Martha all the love and respect a daughter would show her parent.
Lex snaked her arms around Martha and pulled her close. "You know, I don’t think I’ve told you lately that I love you." She felt her hug fiercely returned. "Thanks for being here for me. I do love you, you know." Lex leaned down and placed a tender kiss on the graying head. Pulling back slightly, she could see tears springing up in Martha’s eyes. "So, is that fresh coffee I smell?"
Relieved for the change of subject, Martha patted her gently on the stomach then bustled over to the stove to start breakfast. "Of course it is. Help yourself."
UPSTAIRS, AMANDA AWAKENED feeling completely rested. She was embarrassed at falling asleep in Lex’s bed and was a little concerned what her host thought of her. She looked around the empty room. Now where has she wandered off to? Then the aroma of coffee and sausage reached her senses. Mmm. I think I know where she might be. She climbed out of bed and walked across the hall to the guest bath.
Feeling more human, Amanda jogged down the staircase and followed the enticing smells of breakfast. She noticed Lex at the kitchen table while Martha was busy at the stove. "Good morning." Amanda walked over to the counter where the coffeepot sat.
Martha glanced up from her cooking. "Good morning to you, too. Cups are in the cabinet above the coffeepot. I hope you like scrambled eggs, sausage, biscuits, and gravy."
Amanda filled her cup and leaned back against the counter top. "That smells great. Is there anything I can do to help?"
Lex raised an eyebrow. She knew how territorial Martha was about the kitchen and waited for the fireworks to begin.
But to Lex’s amazement, Martha gestured to the counter beside her. "Well, you can take the plates and silverware to the table for me, if you want." She turned back to the stove, purposely ignoring the sputtering noises coming from the table.
"What? You never let me help you." Lex's tone was indignant.
Amanda carried the requested items to the table and casually set three places. "Maybe you just never asked the right way." She stuck her tongue out at Lex and winked.
Martha placed platters and bowls of food on the table. "Now calm down, Lexie. You’ve got enough to do around here without helping me in the kitchen. Besides, don’t you remember what happened the last time you tried to cook?"
Lex blushed, and stared silently at the plate in front of her.
Amanda looked on, charmed by this new facet to the woman she found herself fascinated by. "Oh?"
Lex mumbled something, but didn’t look up.
Martha patted her shoulder, then sat down in the chair next to her. "Oh, my. That had to be what? Twelve or thirteen years ago?" She looked at Lex for confirmation.
Wanting to be anywhere except in the kitchen, Lex could only nod.
"Oh, please. Share." Amanda couldn't help but tease Lex, who rolled her eyes in disbelief.
"I was just a kid, Martha! I can’t believe you’re still holding that whole thing over my head." Lex gave Martha her most desperate pout, which didn’t work.
They all started filling their plates as Martha began her story. "I guess little Lexie was about fifteen or sixteen. She wanted to do something special for me. I believe it was Mother’s Day, wasn’t it?"
"Yeah, but see what you get this year."
Martha chuckled, and continued on, unimpeded by Lex’s display of discomfit. "Why she decided on cooking when she hated working in the kitchen was beyond me—"
The object of the story quietly interrupted. "I just thought since you had to cook for everyone else all the time, someone should cook for you for a change."
The housekeeper nodded. "Ah, so that’s it. Anyway, she must have spent half the night in here, trying to make pancakes. The little imp couldn’t find a recipe, so she used a cake recipe instead."
Lex defended herself. "Well, they’re called pan-cakes, aren’t they?"
Amanda covered her mouth to keep from laughing. "Oh, no."
"Oh yes. She must have used ten different pans, and flour was everywhere."
Here Lex tried to help. "They never said how hard it was to mix all those different things together. I thought you had to use one egg per pancake. And I think the stupid mixer I used was stuck on high speed. Do you know how hard it is to sift cake mix with the mixer out of control?"
Martha laughed out loud. "By the time I got up to fix breakfast, Hurricane Lexie had completely demolished the kitchen. I opened the door, and kneeling on the countertop trying to wipe dough off the cabinets was this powdered apparition. She looked so sad."
Martha patted Lex’s hand fondly, her eyes growing misty. "Yes, I did. Your daddy never did understand why you did it. It was just about the nicest thing anyone ever did for me."
A pained look crossed Lex's face. Oh yeah, he did. She remembered the conversation with her father the week before Mother’s Day. She had wanted to do something special for Martha, and made the mistake of telling her father as they cleaned stalls one afternoon. Rawson got very upset and grabbed Lex by the shoulders, shaking her and telling her that Martha wasn't her mother, and not to treat her like one.
Lex took exception to that, and told him Martha was the only mother she knew. When he yelled that she was just the housekeeper, Lex yelled back. In a moment of outrage, Rawson slapped one of his children for the first time in his life. Lex, already taller than her father, told him in no uncertain terms to never touch her again. After that, the rancher avoided her. She never knew if it was out of shame for what he had done, or out of fear of what she might do. All she knew was a little over a year later, her father left the Rocking W and never looked back.
Amanda saw a flash of pain in Lex's eyes. She reached over and touched the other woman's wrist. "Hey. What’s wrong?" So quickly she thought she might have imagined it, the look was gone.
"Huh?" Snap out of it, Lexington. That’s old history. "Sorry. Guess I’m just not completely awake yet."
Not believing her for an instant, Amanda decided to let the subject drop. "Maybe you should go back to bed then."
Lex stood up. "Can’t. Gotta go down to the barn and feed the horses, take some hay to the cattle in the far field, then do a quick fence check." She carried her plate to the sink, challenging Martha to say something.
Martha let her get away with it this time, knowing that Lex was trying to get a rise out of her. Brat. Then she noticed the look on Amanda’s face. Or, maybe I’ll just let this one take care of her. I have a feeling that Lexie has met her match.
"What?" Amanda practically leapt out of her chair. "You should be resting, not out gallivanting around in the rain." She picked up her plate and deposited it in the sink.
"I’m fine. Besides, I’m the only person here that can do all that. You don’t want the stock to go hungry, do you?"
Amanda chewed on her lower lip. She hated the thought that innocent animals could be neglected. "I suppose not. But at least let me go with you to help. No arguments, okay?"
"Okay, but I think we’d both better get dressed first. It’s pretty cool out this morning." Lex looked Amanda over critically. "I think I can find some clothes to fit you, if you don’t mind wearing boys’ clothes."
"Hey, if they’re warm, I don’t care." Amanda put her hands on her hips. "Just as long as you don’t make fun of me anymore. I don’t think your ribs could handle it."
Lex headed for the doorway. "Nah, I won’t laugh. I think I was just overtired last night." She stopped and turned around. "You coming?"
Amanda looked over at Martha, who was still seated at the table. "Thanks for breakfast. Are you sure I can’t help with the dishes?"
Martha made a shooing motion with her hands. "No, get out of here. Try to make Lexie behave herself this morning. I’ve got this all under control."
Once upstairs, Lex steered Amanda to a door down at the far end of the hall. She paused to calm the anxious feeling that was creeping up inside her, and then opened the door.
Amanda could see it was a young boy’s room. There was a twin bed against one wall, a bookcase with model cars and airplanes decorating it, and a small desk with a reading lamp sitting on top. The walls were adorned with posters of airplanes and horses, and a faded baseball cap sat on a hook by the bed.
Amanda looked at Lex. She was staring at the cap with a faraway look in her eyes. Then she shook her head slightly and went to the closet door, pulled out a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt, and turned to Amanda.
"These should fit you just fine. You’re about the same size." She hunted around for another moment. "Don’t think I can find you any shoes, though. You’ll probably have to make do with yours."
Amanda ached at the pain in Lex's eyes. "These will be fine. Are you sure it’s okay? My wearing these?" She had to stop herself from reaching out and giving the other woman a hug. She looks so sad. I wonder why? "Whose clothes are these?"
Lex grabbed two more pairs of jeans out of the closet, along with several shirts. She walked over to a small dresser and opened the top drawer. After pulling out several pairs of socks and closing the drawer, she moved to the bed and sat down heavily. "This was my younger brother Louis’ room." She reacted to the pain that seemed fresh again. "He…he died nine years ago."
Amanda sat down next to Lex and gently held her hand. "I’m sorry—"
"Martha still cleans his room. I know I should just pack this stuff up." Lex closed her eyes. "I’ve completely remodeled the entire second floor of this house, but I can’t bring myself to destroy," her voice faded to a whisper, "the only thing I have left of Lou." Silent tears tracked down her face.
They both sat quietly for a few minutes. Amanda entwined her fingers with Lex’s, lending her support as Lex wiped at her face with her other hand. "Sorry. I must still be tired from yesterday. I don’t normally do this."
Amanda released Lex's hand and put her arm around her, hugging her gently. "Don’t apologize. Are you sure you want me to wear these clothes? Martha already washed my shirt and jeans."
"No. You’ll be more comfortable in these. Besides, I think he would have loved to have shared with you." Lex stood up and then pulled Amanda up next to her. "Come with me. I’m going to show you how to run a ranch."
Chapter Four
AMANDA STRUGGLED TO keep up with Lex’s long legs. "So, just how big is this ranch of yours?" She adjusted the hood on the raincoat she wore, another hand-me down, this time from Lex.
"It’s a little over a thousand acres. I’ve been slowly adding to it over the past few years." Lex turned to talk to Amanda, then stopped when she noticed that the shorter woman was wearing herself out trying to catch up to her. "Why didn’t you ask me to slow down?"
"I didn’t want to bother you. I just kind of forced myself on you this morning." Amanda tried to look down at her shoes, but a firm hand gently tilted her chin up.
"You are not a bother, and with my ribs as sore as they are, you'll most definitely be a big help to me." Lex wrapped an arm around Amanda. "C’mon. I’ll introduce you to my friends." She led her into a massive barn and along a clean concrete walkway that ran between a row of stalls. There were ten stalls on each side, but only half of them were occupied.
Lex noticed the unspoken question in Amanda’s eyes. "I’ve been trying to gradually phase out the cattle. I’m working on making this a horse-only ranch." She opened an interior door where the feed was kept.
Amanda looked around, fascinated by all the sights, smells, and sounds. "Are these all the horses you have?" she asked, as Lex opened a 55-gallon drum. She watched the rancher take the top metal bucket from a stack beside the drum and dip it inside, then pull out a full bucket of oats.
"Well, these are the working horses." Lex handed the bucket to Amanda and grabbed an empty one to dip into the barrel. "The rest of the horses are in the far pasture. We bring in a few at a time, break them, then take them to auction." She led the way back into the main part of the barn and dumped the contents of her bucket into a trough in front of one of the stalls. Amanda pointed to the next occupied one, received a nod, and followed suit. They repeated this procedure until all ten horses were fed.
"Okay, boss." Amanda brushed her hands off. "What’s next on the agenda?"
Lex pulled her gloves out of the pocket of her duster. She walked to the back of the barn and opened a door that led outside. "Next," she held the door
open for her companion and pointed to another building about twenty yards away, "we go to the hay barn and take breakfast to the cattle and the other horses."
The rain had faded to a slight drizzle by the time they reached the structure, which was twice the size of the previous barn. Lex opened the double doors and waited for Amanda to go ahead of her.
"This place is huge." Amanda pushed the hood off her head and looked back at Lex. Bales of hay were in stacks that almost reached the ceiling in some places, and an old blue pickup truck sat in the middle of the room. "Now what?" She followed Lex to one side of the truck.
Lex eased in on the driver’s side. "Just let me back this up to the hay, and we’ll get started loading." The truck rumbled to life, and the gears ground in complaint when she shifted it into reverse. Once it was rolled back into position, Lex grabbed another pair of gloves and slid out from behind the wheel. She moved to the rear of the truck and dropped the tailgate before climbing into the back, then tossed the extra gloves to Amanda. "Well? You want to stand there all morning, or are you going to help?"
Amanda put on the gloves and jumped up into the rear of the truck beside her. "What do you want me to do?"
Lex pulled off her coat and laid it over the side of the truck, leaving her upper body clad in only a dark blue tee shirt. Amanda couldn’t help but notice the play of muscles along her back before she straightened up and turned around.
Lex said, "We need to load up the truck with bales of hay then take it over to the next pasture." She was about to grab one of the bales when a hand touched her arm.
"Do you think it’s wise for you to be hefting these things around?"
"I’m just a bit sore, and it’s not like I have much of a choice, Amanda. With all this rain, we need to make sure the cattle have enough to eat. Otherwise, they have a tendency to knock down the fence looking for something to munch on, and I’ve already had my fill of fence building this week."