by Ellie J Duck
“Because it’s fucking itchy! Is that okay with you?” I snarl at him, completely losing my temper.
“You were fighting with me about that the other night when I was trying to get a look at why you keep doing that,” he snaps his fingers and points at me, suddenly recalling why we were fighting when he went wolf.
I hiss in surprise and frustration when he moves almost faster than I can see, suddenly well inside my personal space as he plucks the thick strap of my sports bra aside and reveals the scarred flesh underneath.
“Fuck,” he curses when he sees the scars up close this time, clearly concerned by the fact that there is more than one. I shudder and try to pull away from him when he trails the tip of his index finger over the slightly raised scars, making the whole area itch even more.
“Did I do these?” he asks me quietly and I stare into his face for a long time, biting my lip. “Denali thinks I did these? Please tell me you already had them before you met me.”
“Can’t you just leave it alone?” I whisper, not wanting to confirm it, but knowing that denying the truth any longer will only result in us fighting again.
“Shit,” he mumbles, stumbling back from me as though I’ve struck him, a look of horror on his face. I steel myself against the devastation that sweeps through me and I look at my feet, hitching the strap back up to cover the marks and hide them from view.
“I bit you… more than once…. I….” he has begun to mutter, clearly going into a mild state of panic. I can’t help but glance at him again when he drags his hand through his dark hair, the other clenching into a fist at his side.
“This is why you’ve been sleepwalking… why you keep ending up in my cage…why you smell different….” he mutters, and I realize that though he’s saying so, he’s not actually looking at me as he speaks but at his feet, still wearing an expression of horror and confusion.
“How many times?” he asks suddenly, his head snapping up and those copper eyes glowing bright orange. “How many times have I bitten you?”
I bite my lip, not wanting to answer that question at all. Not honestly knowing the answer myself.
“I lost count,” I whisper, leaning heavily against the bench, my huge bowl of ice-cream slowly melting, my appetite forgotten in favor of the nausea and unhappiness roiling within me to see him freak out over the confirmation of all that we’ve done.
“Fuck!” he curses again, his voice louder this time and his expression one of pure frustration.
“I bit you before I went lupine the other night, didn’t I?” he asks me seriously and I lift my eyes to meet his, biting my lip hard enough to break the skin as I nod slowly.
“But I only scratched you after I was wolf, right?” he asks, looking frantic now. “Tell me I only scratched you. That I didn’t bite you once I’d shifted.”
“I ran before you could, but you tried,” I say in a small voice, my arms curling across my exposed stomach to hold myself together as I feel everything begin to splinter.
“What happened between you straddling me and pulling my gun on me, and me biting you?” he asks me seriously, looking like he’s trying and failing to hold it together himself.
“Do I really need to answer that?” I ask, a blush staining my cheeks at the very idea of voicing what we did.
“You really do,” he tells me in a tight voice, his clenched fists both shaking.
“You attempted to persuade me to tell you the truth about the night I was captured by….” I trail off, not wanting to continue the sentence.
“Did I hurt you?” he asks me, his voice softening a little when I don’t finish the sentence and refuse to meet his gaze.
“No. At least… not until you scratched me when you started to shift.”
I can feel his gaze on me, clearly wondering if I’m lying again.
“Did we fuck?” he asks bluntly.
“What?” I say, lifting my head quickly in surprise. “When?”
“Needing clarification on a time is not a promising way to answer that question, little human,” Tobias tells me, and I feel my cheeks begin to heat as my blush darkens. “Before I went lupine?”
“No,” I shake my head quickly. “And before you ask, we were both fully clothed then too.”
“Meaning we did have sex the night you were captured?” he asks me, and I don’t answer, knowing he already suspects as much anyway. “Anna, did I … Did I force you?”
“No,” I mumble, unable to look at him, not trusting myself to be able to withstand his expression of disgust at the idea.
“I don’t believe you,” he says quietly. “I don’t even remember anything….”
“I know…. He said you wouldn’t,” I tell him.
“The vampire? This is what you meant about him compelling both of us? He compelled me to fuck you within an inch of your life, and probably mine too given how sore I was, and then he made sure I wouldn’t even remember?” I can hear the bite of a growl in his tone now and I can’t help but lift my gaze to his, aware that I’m blinking back the evidence that his reaction hurts me.
“Why do you remember, and I don’t?” he asks me, his eyes completely gold again like he’s going to lose control.
“I told you that he did the whole thing, including not killing me, because of the high he got from drinking my blood and vicariously experiencing my thoughts and emotions. Defeats the purpose of compelling me to act on them if he can’t then experience the results the next time he drinks my blood,” I answer him, blushing some more over admitting that. “I get the feeling your nose has been telling you since I got here what he might’ve found that he felt the need to experience again.”
“But…. He was gone the minute I walked in the room,” he frowns. “How did he compel me without being there?”
“You touched me… before I could warn you not to. And the minute you did, your eyes glazed over, and you weren’t in control of yourself anymore.”
“So, I did force you?” he asks, his face paling now. “The bruises I saw on you days later…?”
“You can’t force a person more than willing to participate, Hilton,” I tell him without meeting his eyes, aware that I’m admitting to how badly I wanted him and still want him but seeing no other way to alleviate the guilt growing inside him.
“Then why were you covered in bruises as though I pinned you down and….” he trails off and I jump when he steps closer to me, his finger hooking beneath my chin and tilting my head up until I meet his gaze.
“Did I hurt you?” he asks me, and I realize he’s asking far more than simply about the bruises on my skin.
“No,” I reply, my voice croaky as I speak past the lump forming in my throat.
“There was blood,” he reminds me, referring to his bedsheets.
“It was my first time…” I mutter, looking away from him again despite the way he’s still tilting my head so that it’s almost impossible.
“Ah, damn! I forgot about that….” he says, his voice pained now. “I did hurt you.”
“You didn’t,” I protest.
“I hurt myself, Anna. I woke up feeling like I’d been hit by a truck. Don’t lie to me about this,” he says, and I’m surprised by the low, intimate tone in his voice and his almost tender expression when I meet his eyes again. “You had bruises days later because of whatever I did to you.”
“I don’t heal rapidly unless I’m badly wounded,” I retort. “I still had marks on me from the vampire, too. You didn’t hurt me. I was sore, but you didn’t hurt me. At the time I wasn’t complaining, anyway.”
He stares at me in silence after that, well within my personal space and watching me intently. I tremble beneath his gaze and the feel of his fingers caressing my jaw makes my body flush with heat, my heart racing in my chest.
“Why did you lie?” he asks me softly after a little while.
“Because you hate me,” I reply in a whisper. “You didn’t remember, and I didn’t see the point in telling you about it. Especially kno
wing you would be disgusted about it.”
“You were afraid of my reaction?” he asks.
“You’ve made it quite clear that you don’t like humans, not to mention that you brutally pointed out how going lupine as a result of me being captured would’ve meant you had to like me or care about me as a person,” I whisper, stepping back from him and turning away, busying myself with the task of cleaning up the melted ice-cream in my bowl.
“Ah, crap,” he sighs, recalling what he said to me the morning after. “No wonder you were so upset…. I’m such an asshole.”
I don’t answer, choosing instead to stick my bowl in the dishwasher and tidying up the mess I made with it on the counter.
“I don’t hate you, you know?” he says when I walk over and drop down on the couch, wrapping myself in a blanket to hide from his view as much as possible. “I’m pissed that I don’t remember and that you lied about this, but I don’t hate you. I’m not disgusted.”
“You don’t have to be nice to me, Hilton,” I tell him without looking at him. “I’m a big girl. I can handle not having someone like me.”
“Someone who took your virginity against your will?” he challenges.
“You didn’t take away my will,” I answer. “Irving Novikov did that. To both of us. And I’m going to put him down so that he can never do anything like that ever again.”
“Do I want to know what else happened that has you wearing that expression that is making my fur stand up?” he asks, dropping down onto the couch near where I’ve rested my head on one of the cushions.
“What are you talking about?” I ask without glancing away from the TV as I find an old episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S playing.
“Why do you look like you’re going to enjoy driving stakes into various parts of this leech before killing him?” he asks.
“You already know the answer to that,” I retort.
“Because he compelled us to fuck?” he asks, and I feel my patience level begin to wane with his flippant mention of what happened. Doesn’t he know there is so much more tangled up in this than he realizes? Doesn’t he know that I think I’m in love with him? Doesn’t he know how much it hurts me to know that I gave my innocence and myself to him and that it was the best night of my life, while he doesn’t remember a thing?
“Do you enjoy rehashing facts over and over again?” I ask him, aware that I sound as growly as he does on a bad day.
“No. I just want to know why you look like you want to kill anything that moves over the idea of shagging me,” he says.
“Maybe because I don’t like talking about it and was happier when you didn’t know about it?” I suggest, levelling a glare at him.
“You wanted to keep me in the dark over this forever?” he demands, and I realize how incredibly insulting that notion must be the minute he suggests it but it’s too late for that now.
“Yeah, Tobias, I never wanted you to find out. I wanted to take that secret to the grave. But you had to go and be a pushy asshole and drag the truth out of me, rather than simply leaving well enough alone. And what has it achieved? You get to feel awful over the idea that you took my virginity and don’t even remember it, not to mention being grossed out over the idea of being with a human. And I get to wallow in the knowledge that you’re sitting there unable to decide if you should be totally disgusted over the entire situation. Especially knowing that were it not for the fact that I’m overwhelmingly attracted to you - despite how much of an asshole you are - that vampire would never have done this to either of us and I would be just one more name on a list of human/vampire casualties. So, congratulations, aren’t you glad you know the truth?”
I get up from the couch and glare at him in pure frustration for a moment before heading for the stairs, hoping a shower might make me feel a little less dirty.
“Anna?” he calls after me and I hate the way a thrill rushes through me at the sound of my first name rolling off his tongue. “I need you to stay away from me until after the full moon, alright?”
I turn slowly to glare at him, my heart falling to the floor between us to know he’s clearly so horrified that he doesn’t even want to associate with me.
“Whatever, Hilton,” I snarl before I spin away again.
“If you keep turning your back on me assuming you know my thoughts and my meaning without clarification, you and I are going to have a serious problem, Cane,” he warns me and I jump when he is suddenly standing a few feet away from me, arms folded over his chest and a look of severe annoyance on his face.
I glare at him for a moment before very deliberately turning my back on him and beginning to stalk away from him once more, ignoring the low growl of warning he emits.
“Human,” he snarls, making me realize he’s following me as I climb the stairs.
“You know, if you’re going to follow me around like some mangy stray, it’s going to be difficult for me to stay the hell away from you,” I inform him as I stride down the hall toward my open bedroom door with him on my heels.
“I’m not trying to be an asshole,” he spits at my turned back, “I’m trying to protect you.”
“Excuse me?” I demand, stopping dead.
“I bit you, Cane. More than once. And after I did it human, I shifted and tried to do it lupine too. With the full moon so close, I don’t trust that I can reign in the beast. Once bitten, you’re screwed until the next full moon and if I shift and bite you as a wolf, you’ll turn. You’ll become a werewolf like me. And since your personality and mine mix about as well as oil and water, being near you pushes my limits. We have serious issues that need addressing and I don’t doubt that when I’m done talking, you’re going to lock yourself in your room in angst about how you think I told you to stay away from me because I despise you and am horrified over having sex with you. But for the record, it’s not the case. I just don’t want to turn you into a werewolf.”
With that said he turns on his heel and stomps down the hall into his own room, slamming the door closed. I follow suit thinking about how much I love and hate Tobias Hilton in equal parts.
Chapter Fifteen
Two days later the rest of the team still haven’t returned, and I begin to worry about them. I find myself puttering about in the kitchen, looking for things to do to pass the time. I’ve read all the books I bought for myself and watching movies just isn’t the same without the rest of the team snuggled up with me.
Things with Hilton have been frosty, at best.
He’s been avoiding me whenever he can, and I suspect that in addition to being horrified by what happened between us, he’s also beating himself up about what happened to his brother. I’ve opened my mouth a hundred times with the intention of saying something to him, but every time I do my mind goes blank and I can’t think of a single thing to say.
I’m considering making some lunch when my phone begins to ring in my pocket and I fish it out in annoyance. Despite the two months since I joined the team, I’ve still been getting daily phone calls from James, all of which I’ve been declining. As I pull it out, I glance at the screen, expecting it to be yet another call from James and I almost drop it in surprise when the caller ID begins flashing Hilton’s name at me.
“Hilton?” I answer it immediately, wondering what the hell he’s doing calling me.
“Need your help, little human,” he grunts into the phone and I blanch at the sound of his labored breathing.
“What’s wrong? Where are you?” I ask him.
“In the woods,” he answers. “I shifted and went to see Denali last night.”
“Oh, you idiot!” I growl, knowing without even needing to ask that things went badly.
“Get my keys. I need you to pick me up before I die of silver poisoning,” he replies, his breathing ragged.
“Where in the woods are you?” I demand, already scooping up his keys from the bowl inside the door and racing for the carpark.
“Not far. I’m near the road. You’ll find me,” he murmurs, and
I can tell he’s losing strength fast. He disconnects the line before I can ask for more information and I curse in horror.
“Stubborn, stupid werewolf!” I mutter to myself, my eyes scanning the road, “What sort of idiot just goes to visit a rabid mongrel? Why the hell aren’t the team back yet? What the hell is Summers doing in some fairy realm? How the hell am I going to save Hilton? I don’t know anything about werewolf genetics!”
I take the corners as fast as I dare, frantically searching for any sign of Tobias. When I lay eyes on him, he is crumpled in a ditch at the edge of the road about a mile from the gates.
“Damn it, Hilton!” I snarl at him, leaping out of the still-running car and rushing over to him. He grimaces at me in response, clearly in too much pain to speak.
“I can’t lift you by myself,” I despair even as I try to do just that, dragging his arm up over my shoulders and heaving with all my might, almost bringing him to his feet. He staggers a little and manages to right himself enough that I can haul him toward the car.
“Got to… get the silver out…” he mutters to me as I close his door and run back around to the driver’s seat. I gun the engine, performing a donut right there on the road and racing back toward the base as fast as I can.
“What the hell were you thinking?” I snarl at him, unable to curb my aggression, furious with him for getting himself into this mess and terrified that I’m not going to make it in time to save his life.
“He’s my brother…” Hilton mumbles to me, looking delirious with the pain. I can smell burning flesh and I just know it’s the effect of the silver in contact with his skin.
“He’s a mongrel dog that’s been tortured one too many times and is no longer safe to be around,” I correct him. “He needs to be put down before he snaps his bolt and hurts a lot more people than just his little brother.”
“Thought I’d…. lost him,” Tobias murmurs. “Had to know…”
I realize that he’s trying to tell me he had to know why the bastard would have enjoyed his freedom for three years since he’d escaped capture, taking over the Pack on Tobias’s doorstep without even once letting his brother know he was alive.