by Erika Wilde
A wry look crossed her features. “The two don’t seem to mix well for me. Remember Bartholomew? Well, I almost did the deed with him, and luckily came to my senses before I became a clone of my mother. That’s another incident my parents have yet to forgive me for.” Her gaze conveyed an unmistakable reckless defiance. “I’m not ready to settle down yet. I’ve got goals to attain, and quite frankly, after being stifled for more years than I care to recall, I like my freedom and independence.”
“Maybe you just haven’t found the right man yet.”
“I’m not looking for a man, remember.” With a sassy grin, she reminded him of that vow with a wave of her left hand in front of his face. That sparkly ring of hers flashed, backing her claim. “Staying single is so much easier and less complicated.”
“But a lot lonelier.” His voice was quiet, but his words were powerful enough to touch the vulnerability behind her independent facade.
Their gazes connected, hers filled with unspoken affirmation. Even though he knew she’d never admit to being lonely, he suspected that the world she’d created for herself didn’t keep her warm at night, or bolster her spirits on a bad day. What she needed was someone who believed in her and her aspirations, someone who supported her unconditionally, and didn’t try to clip her wings.
It was clear to him that she was out to prove something to her parents, and herself. And possibly even to Louden. He didn’t begrudge her the success she strove for, only hoped that her single-mindedness didn’t keep her from enjoying other aspects of her life.
“I suppose you want a wife, kids, and the whole bit,” she said cheekily, avoiding the deeper issue he’d unintentionally provoked.
“Sure I do.” And the older he got, the more he wanted that kind of security. That big Victorian he lived in by himself got far too quiet at night, giving him too much time to think about how a special woman might fit into his life. Finding her was another matter, especially when Fantasy for Hire robbed him of any spare time. “When the right woman comes along, I’ve got an open mind about marriage. And I want a big family, too. I love kids.”
She gave a shudder, but he knew she was exaggerating by the teasing sparkle in her eyes. “I get my fill of kids with my eight nieces and nephews. One night with them, and I’m completely wiped out.”
He lifted an eyebrow, wondering how much of that statement was truth, and how much she’d tried to convince herself of.
The final song ended, bringing the Christmas party to a close. Slowly, reluctantly, he let her move from his embrace. A sense of loss filled him—there were no more excuses to postpone the end of the evening. And judging by the slant of their conversation, he pretty much ascertained that no further invitation was forthcoming from her lips to see him again.
She’d made it clear that her job was her priority, that a real man in her life was something her parents wanted, but she had no time or desire for. He wasn’t going to push the issue…at least not much.
On the drive back to Teddy’s place, Austin had plenty of time to mentally plan his strategy to sway Teddy into giving them another chance, another date, one that wasn’t tangled up with lies and pretenses. Just them. And their attraction for one another.
He wondered if he stood a chance against her restricting goals, wondered if he was being foolish for wanting to pursue something that might be all one-sided. And then there was the issue of her family, and what they expected of Teddy…and of a boyfriend.
Meeting their expectations would be impossible, but at the moment none of that mattered to Austin, not when his chest ached at the thought of never seeing Teddy again. Not when he wanted this woman so badly that physical need coalesced with strong emotion.
After parking the Mustang at the curb, he insisted on walking Teddy to her condo. She wrapped the shawl around her in an attempt to chase away the midnight chill, but her teeth began to chatter. Slipping his tuxedo jacket off, he draped it over her shoulders, and she snuggled into the warmth.
She smiled up at him. “Thanks.” Her voice held a slight quiver, but he wasn’t sure if it was from the cold, or if she was nervous.
“I had a great time tonight.” He’d especially enjoyed their elevator ride up, and slow dancing with her—both opportunities had been private, and incredibly enlightening.
She rolled her eyes. “Between Louden, and Janet, it was certainly interesting, if anything.”
He smiled. “I think everything went well. We established a believable relationship, so hopefully Louden will back off like you hope.”
She held up crossed fingers for luck. “As long as Janet doesn’t remember you as a cop who strips, we’ll be in good shape.”
Taking the house key from her grasp, he unlocked the door and opened it for her. She handed him back his jacket, started to step inside, then turned around before she cleared the threshold. A light from the living room behind her illuminated her slender form and tipped her upswept hair with gold. Even in the shadows, her eyes shimmered with regret.
“Well, I guess this is goodbye,” she said softly, and offered him a slight smile.
The last thing he wanted to say was goodbye. “Not just yet.”
Reaching into the pocket of the tuxedo jacket draped over his arm, he withdrew the sprig of mistletoe he’d swiped off their table as they’d left the party. The greenery was crushed, but still in working order. Her rich, chocolate brown eyes widened as he braced his arm on the doorjamb and dangled the mistletoe above her head.
His stance was lazy, deceptively so, and he grinned wickedly, declaring his intent. “I believe you and I have unfinished business to attend to.”
Chapter Six
She should have said no. She should have resisted. But Teddy didn’t stand a chance against the seductive pull of Austin’s darkened gaze, or the knowledge that this man made her feel restless, needy sensations no other man had ever evoked.
Reckless desire caused her pulse to race. The promise of pleasure glimmering in his sexy eyes touched off a quiver of anticipation deep in her belly. And because she knew he’d make good on that silent vow, she impetuously decided that one last, parting kiss to remember him by wouldn’t hurt anything.
His warm fingers brushed along her jaw and curled around the nape of her neck, urging her to meet him halfway, persuading her to participate and give as much as she took. She swayed toward him, too eager to taste him, too anxious to experience the heady thrill of having his mouth on hers.
His head lowered, hers raised expectantly. His lashes fell slumberously, she closed her eyes and waited. His mouth skimmed hers gently, teasing her unmercifully. Her lips parted with a soft, inviting sigh, and he gradually deepened the kiss, slowly, seductively, cajoling her tongue to mate with his, and offering his own in return.
The kiss was incredibly erotic, a lazy, tantalizing possession of the senses. It inflamed and stimulated a depthless passion, and there was nothing she could do but surrender.
Abandoning all coherent thought, all common sense, she tossed her small purse somewhere behind her in the condo, twined her fingers into the thick strands of hair at the back of his neck and opened her mouth wider beneath his and whimpered, a silent plea for him to ease the ache building within her.
He answered with a deep, dark growl that reverberated in his throat, and with her face framed between his palms and her mouth anchored firmly beneath his, he guided her backward, into the darkened entryway, kicking the door shut behind them. A cool whoosh of air caressed her stockinged legs as he dropped his coat at their feet. Pushing her against the wall, he dragged the shawl from her shoulders to join his jacket, and pressed his hard, muscular body against hers, the urgency in him undeniable. Her knees threatened to buckle, but he wedged a leg between her thighs, and she felt the swell of his erection against her belly—thick, hot and pulsing. The male heat of him surrounded her, engulfed her, sparking a liquid fire that settled low in her stomach.
His breathing roughened, and his heart hammered as frantically as her own. She
identified with that out-of-control need, and it frightened her as much as it thrilled her. Her head spun, her mind whirled, and the crazy momentum didn’t show any signs of slowing.
He continued to kiss her, wild, greedy, insatiable kisses she returned with an enthusiasm that should have shocked her, but didn’t. Like a thief, he pilfered and ravished. Like a willing captive, she succumbed and yearned for more.
He obliged her, sliding his fingers into her hair and gently dislodging the rhinestone pins securing the strands. He found each clip, untangled each one and dropped them to the carpeted floor until her hair tumbled around her shoulders in a tousled mess. He crushed the silky tresses in his hands, massaging her scalp, her nape, and then her shoulders.
Finally, he freed her lips, and she moaned as he touched his open mouth to her throat, stroking his soft tongue across the pulse point at the base. And then he bit her sensitive skin, gently, just enough to cause another rush of excitement. She was so distracted by this new, delicious sensation that she was unaware of him slipping his thumbs beneath the thin straps of her dress and dragging them down her arms until she felt the fabric covering her breasts give way.
She gasped at the shock of cool air against her heated skin, felt her first bout of modesty as he lifted his head and looked his fill. His eyes burned with hunger, his gaze ravaged. She shivered, but didn’t move. Nor did she protest when he licked the tips of his fingers and slicked them over her nipples, drawing them into tight, aching points. But she groaned, long and low, when he lowered his mouth and laved those tender crests with his tongue, then drew her into the hot depths of his mouth.
Biting her lower lip to keep from crying out, she pushed her fingers into his hair, brazenly holding him close as he leisurely lapped and suckled and nuzzled. He worked his wet mouth from one breast to the other, his tongue, lips and teeth teasing her with devastating thoroughness. The pleasure was dizzying, and frustrating, and in an attempt to soothe a sharper, more intimate ache, she clamped her thighs against the one riding high between hers and arched into him.
A harsh, aroused sound hissed from Austin, and he buried his face at the side of her neck, his breath hot and moist against her flesh. “Teddy…” he whispered huskily, his voice raw with a want so urgent it invaded every cell of her being. His palms slid down her sides to grip her hips, and rocked her rhythmically against that treacherous thigh of his, building the pressure. “All night I’ve thought about the taste of you, the feel of you. It’s not enough. Not nearly enough.”
Passion fogged her mind, short-circuiting rational thought. “Not enough,” she echoed the sentiment, turning her head to the side to give him better access to the column of her throat.
His tongue touched the delicate shell of her ear, making her skin quiver, and his hands roamed lower, beneath the hem of her dress. Questing fingers rasped against the stockings covering her legs, her thighs…higher still. “I want to fuck you.”
Yes, her body screamed, her feminine nerves already spiraling toward that release. All it would take to send her over the edge was the touch of his fingers against slick folds of flesh, the seductive caress of his mouth on her breasts. The elemental need to be a part of this man mixed with something deep and soul-stirring, overwhelming her with emotions she’d severed herself from years ago.
Panicked that he could make her feel so much when she’d been content to be alone, she pressed her palms to his chest, pushing gently, but firmly. “Austin, we can’t do this.”
He immediately stopped his seduction, slowly withdrawing his hand from beneath her dress, leaving her aroused, and very disappointed. The rhinestone straps of her dress slid back up, and the bodice covered her breasts once again.
Concern etched his features, and he brushed her hair away from her face, his gaze searching. “Hey, you okay?”
No. She was scared, and confused, but admitting either defeated the purpose of all those years she’d struggled to build her confidence. “This is happening too fast.”
“We can take it slow,” he said, his deep, rich voice still holding the vestiges of desire. Bracing an arm against the wall at the side of her head, he skimmed his knuckles down her cheek in a feather-light caress. “As slow and easy as you need it to be.”
Her skin tingled at the thought of how good slow could be with this sexy fantasy man. “Impossible, when I unravel when you just look at me, and I melt when you touch me.” Like now, those insidious fingers of his were causing all kinds of havoc with her libido.
A roguish grin curved his mouth, and he looked pleased with that revelation. “No, slow doesn’t seem to apply to the attraction between us,” he agreed. “But I’m not just talking about sex, Teddy. I’m talking about us.”
She swallowed, hard, trying to keep her rising wariness at bay. “Us?”
“Yeah,” he murmured, trailing that treacherous finger along her jaw to her lobe, eliciting a deep, dark shiver that made her body feel like warm molasses. “You. Me. A slow building relationship. Us.”
She shook her head, feeling crowded, and not just because his body surrounded hers. Emotionally, he was slipping under her skin, forcing her to reevaluate her personal life, and she didn’t care for what she was discovering. Moving around him, she put some distance between them, shoring up her fortitude. “There is no ‘us.’”
“There could be.” When she didn’t respond, the set of his jaw turned determined. “You honestly believe there isn’t something between us worth pursuing?”
She rubbed the slow throb beginning in her temples, and chose her words carefully. “I can’t afford any diversions right now, Austin.” Her voice implored him to understand. “Not when I’m so close to getting everything I’ve worked so hard for. And I can’t allow great sexual chemistry to distract me when I need to stay focused on my job.” She’d only wanted a date for the evening, her own personal fantasy for hire. When had things become so complicated? “Besides, you and I have different goals, and certainly opposite visions of the future.”
“Not as much as you might think,” he said, ruthless intent in his gaze. “Or maybe it’s just easier for you to believe that.”
Anger flared within her, that he’d touched on part of the truth—a truth that made her too vulnerable. She was scared of taking personal, emotional risks, for fear of being stifled. It had taken her years to establish her independence, to gain the self-confidence to stand on her own, and there were always those niggling doubts that she couldn’t mix business with a relationship and find an equal balance. In her experience, the latter always won.
She grasped a stronger argument. “You fulfill women’s fantasies, for crying out loud! How opposite is that?”
He jammed his hands on his lean hips and sighed, sounding as weary as he was beginning to look. “It’s just a job, Teddy, and it isn’t who I am. Fantasy for Hire was a means to an end. It isn’t my entire life.”
There was more. She could see it in his eyes. But she didn’t want to hear anything else, didn’t want to give him a chance to sway her decision. “As much as I want you, I can’t do this right now. I don’t have time in my life for a relationship, and that’s not fair to you.”
He stepped toward her, so genuine and understanding. “Teddy—”
She held up a hand to stop him, knowing his touch to be a powerful persuasion. “Please, Austin,” she beseeched him. “Don’t make this any more difficult than it already is. You’re a great guy, and you deserve better than what I can offer you, which is nothing permanent.” She bit her bottom lip, acknowledging on some feminine level that she wished she could be the kind of woman he wanted, but she wasn’t cut out for marriage, and babies, and all those other things that tied a person down and restricted their freedom.
He stared at her for a long, intense moment, his green eyes darkening with resignation. “All right,” he finally relented, and swiped his jacket from the floor. “You win, Teddy.”
It wasn’t a joyful victory. Her throat burned, and her chest hurt at the thought of n
ever seeing him again. She opened the door before she changed her mind. “Thank you, Austin. For everything.”
“The last thing I want is your gratitude for something I wanted to do.” Just as he passed through the threshold, he stopped and turned back around, his chiseled features expressing deep regret. “Good luck on your promotion, Teddy. I hope you get everything you want.”
She was certain the double meaning ringing in his words had been unintentional on his part, but it was there nonetheless, haunting her, forcing her to think about what her desire for that promotion might have cost her. She found the thought disturbing.
And then he was gone, leaving only the warm, male scent of his cologne lingering in the entryway, and a horrible sense of loss blossoming within her.
Leaning against the wall for support, she slid down until she was sitting on the carpeted floor, her knees upraised. Dragging a hand through her tangled hair and trying not to think about how much she enjoyed being with Austin, she let out a deep breath that did nothing to ease the new tension banding her chest.
Her gaze landed on the cluster of mistletoe he’d used to seduce her, and she picked it up, holding the sprig of Christmas spirit in the palm of her hand. Her throat tightened, and a piercing pain wrenched her heart.
Damn Austin McBride anyway, for making her realize just how cold and lonely her life was, for making her question everything that was important to her—everything she’d struggled to attain without the support of anyone.
She’d sacrificed so much to prove her own self-worth to her family, to herself. But this sacrifice was hurting more than she’d ever imagined.
Austin stood beneath the hot, stinging spray from the shower. He’d spent a restless night tossing and turning in bed, caused from frustration, confusion and a healthy dose of annoyance that Teddy Spencer had, in effect, brushed him off.
Well, not brushed him off, exactly, he amended as he braced his hands on the tiled wall and dipped his head beneath the invigorating jet of water to rinse his soap-slick body. But her brand of rejection stung nonetheless. He’d served his purpose in aiding Teddy in her plight to dissuade Louden, and she’d never promised him anything beyond last night. He’d known that. He’d followed through with Teddy’s plan with his eyes wide open, knowing it was all an act. So why did he return home last night with his stomach in knots and a keen sense of disappointment riding him hard?