“You’re to be the head chef at the celebration—Yark has a much bigger kitchen than me.” The left head sounded envious. “You’ll make up the menu and be in charge of his kitchen crew.”
“I see,” Dark said blandly. “And how many will I be cooking for, Master?”
“Fifty of Yark’s best drewgs are invited,” the left head answered. “And the party is to celebrate the birth of his son and heir—a triple-headed Trollox! So fucking rare!”
“Yes, Master.” Dark thought he sounded even more envious of this than of the big kitchen.
“We’ve been boasting of your cooking skills,” the right head admitted. “So Yark asked that you cook the feast for his celebration. Of course we agreed. All the most important Trollox on the planet will be there.”
“Which means you’d better do a fucking amazing job!” the left head roared as Gorn stabbed a stubby gray finger at him. “Understand?”
“Perfectly, Master, but I’ll need a few more details. When is the party? How long do I have to prepare? How many courses do you want? Will I be doing the ordering or will Master Yark’s crew be doing it?”
“Well…” Dark could see the wheels in the left head’s mind begin to turn slowly as it struggled to answer his questions.
“Let me,” the right head hissed impatiently and turned to Dark. “Now listen, pretty boy—here are the requirements…”
* * * * *
As Anna hid in the pantry, her heart beating in her throat, she gradually began to feel more calm. At first she’d been afraid Gorn was looking for her—it had been a while since he’d changed her spreader and she was afraid he might have decided it was time for a new one.
Then she had feared that Dark was in trouble and that Gorn might rip him limb from limb, as she had seen him do to so many other Replicants. She couldn’t bear for that to happen to Dark! She was beginning to care for him—deeply.
Anna knew it wasn’t smart—it was the same as falling in love with an appliance, or so she tried to tell herself. But it didn’t seem like that at all. Dark seemed so real—so gentle and kind and handsome and caring.
Whoever had programmed him must have been a woman, she couldn’t help thinking. Someone had known how important the inside of a man could be—because a handsome, muscular exterior wasn’t enough. A man needed emotional intelligence to be attractive—to be the person someone like Anna needed so desperately in her life.
So she’d been horribly afraid when she thought Dark was in trouble. But now, from what she could hear, it sounded like he was actually being commended. Cooking for an entire party of the most important Trollox on the planet sounded like a huge deal and she was sure Dark was up to it. He’d told her that he had been head chef for his last owner—the Mistress who had treated him so badly—with a substantial crew under him. So everything was going to be fine.
She had relaxed almost completely when Gorn said something that froze her blood in her veins.
“Have you seen that pretty little breeder of mine?” he asked Dark.
“No, Master.” Dark’s deep voice was terse and there was a growl behind his words. “I do not know where she is but I have been in the kitchen all day, as it is my home.”
“Of course, of course,” Gorn growled. “Gotta find her though. She has to come to the banquet too—she needs to see what a proper son and heir looks like—needs to see what her duty as a breeder is.”
“If I see her I will tell her.” Dark’s words were so cold and fraught with tension Anna thought they could have frozen the big Trollox in his tracks. But the left head, as always, was oblivious.
“Ah, well—I’ll find her later,” it growled. “She has to wear the new gown I’ve bought her. Can’t go to a new heir banquet in just any old thing. My drewgs must be impressed when I show her off.”
Anna felt sick. Show her off? To a whole banquet hall full of the enormous, disgusting Trollox? Just the thought turned her stomach but she knew she would have no choice in the matter. Gorn owned her and did what he wanted with her—if he wanted to dress her up and show her off to his drewgs, he damn well would and there wasn’t a thing she could do about it.
At last her captor stomped out of the kitchen and she heard the door swinging shut behind him. Still, she didn’t dare to come out until she heard his heavy footsteps climbing the stairs to the second level where his study was located. Hopefully the right head would get immersed in work while the left played a game of digital hokum and the big Trollox would forget about her for a while.
At last the pantry door creaked open and Dark was standing there.
“You heard?” he asked and Anna nodded.
“It looks like we’re going to a party.” She tried to make her voice light and cheerful but she couldn’t completely hide the dread she was feeling.
“Do you think he’ll try to hurt you?” The menace in Dark’s deep voice was clear.
Anna shook her head. “I don’t think so. Trollox just like to show off their ‘trophies’ to their drewgs. That’s all I am to him—just another trophy.”
“If he lays a hand on you, call for me.” Dark’s bronze eyes flashed. “I swear I’ll end him if he hurts you, Anna.”
She drew back a little from the big Replicant. Dark in protective mode was absolutely scary.
“How can you be so sweet and gentle one minute and so frightening the next?” she asked.
“Sorry.” He took a deep breath, making a visible effort to calm himself. As with so many of his gestures, it didn’t seem like something a Replicant would do but she hardly questioned his realism anymore. He was just a different model—a better model—than any other Replicant she’d ever seen, she told herself.
“It’s all right,” Anna told him. “I…like it that you want to protect me,” she said shyly. “And I liked what we were doing before.”
“Kissing, you mean?” His whole demeanor changed, his sharp-edged look softening and his bronze eyes going half-lidded.
“Yes…” Anna nibbled her lower lip and looked up at him through her eyelashes. “I wouldn’t mind doing it again sometime. If…if you don’t mind.”
“It would be my very great pleasure, Anna,” he murmured. “Should I come to find you after Gorn has gone to sleep tonight?”
“Oh—in my, uh, bedroom you mean?” Her stomach fluttered nervously. “You…you’d come see me there?”
He nodded. “But only if you want me to. And Anna…” He tilted her chin gently and looked into her eyes. “Kissing is as far as it has to go. If that’s all you want, that’s all we’ll do. Or we don’t even have to do that—I could just hold you. I’d like that—very much.”
The thought of being wrapped in his strong, muscular arms was incredibly attractive.
“Yes,” Anna whispered. “Yes, I…I think I’d like it too.”
“All right.” He gave her a slow smile that made her stomach flutter again. “We have something to look forward to. But for now, I have to finish tonight’s Last Meal and get started on the menu for this banquet I’m supposed to be serving.”
“Are you worried about it?” Anna asked anxiously.
He shook his head. “Other than the sheer volume of food, no. Feeding this many Trollox will be like feeding three hundred humanoids. It’s going to be interesting. I just hope that Gorn’s drewg has a good kitchen crew—I’ll need a lot of hands to make this happen.”
She nodded. “I’ll help if I can. When Gorn finishes showing me off, I mean.” She made a face.
Dark looked thoughtful. “That might not be a bad idea. I’d like to have you where I can see you—so I can be sure you’re safe.”
“Thank you,” Anna said softly.
“Of course—I just want to protect you,” he said seriously.
“I know.” She wanted to say more—wanted to thank him for caring so much. Even though she knew it was just his excellent programming at work, she wanted to express her gratitude. But the words seemed to bottle up inside her and she couldn’t let them out. So she just said, “
Thank you,” again and went back to chopping the vegetables he’d given her to prep before she’d cut her finger.
The way she was feeling would have to wait for another time because honestly, Anna wasn’t completely sure about it herself. A part of her almost thought she was falling in love with the big Replicant but the practical part of her mind told her not to be foolish. She couldn’t love a machine…
Could she?
Chapter Twelve
The house was dim and filled with shadows. Gorn had gone to sleep an hour before and both heads were snoring heavily—a sound that was clearly audible right outside his bed chamber door.
Not that Anna was about to go out and listen to be sure he was asleep, but just cracking the door to her own bedroom let her hear the faint murmur of both heads, which made her feel safe. Once Gorn went to sleep, he seldom got up before morning. The Trollox was a sound sleeper so the minute he started snoring, she knew she was safe for the night.
She waited in her room—the room she’d claimed for her own, anyway—wondering if Dark was really going to come to her…and if she wanted him to come. Just thinking of kissing him again, remembering the soft, gentle way he’d taken her mouth and then allowed her to explore his, made her stomach flutter with anticipation. But part of her couldn’t help thinking that this was wrong.
I shouldn’t feel like this anymore—not after what Lazlo and Gorn did to me, she thought. I shouldn’t want to be near anyone male for the rest of my life.
But Dark only looked male, she reminded herself. He couldn’t hurt her like Lazlo had—and like Gorn wanted to. And he was always so gentle, so sweet and careful with her…
So was Lazlo until he got you alone, a little voice whispered in her head. Once more, the memory of what he’d done to her surfaced and wouldn’t be pushed down.
“What’s the matter, you little slut?” Lazlo’s voice hissed in her ear. “Isn’t this what you wanted? You were always begging me to give it to you—well now I’m giving it to you so why are you crying?”
No! Anna pushed the memory away with a huge force of will. She didn’t want to think of that now, didn’t want to remember it. Dark wasn’t like Lazlo—he couldn’t be because he wasn’t even real. He was just a robot built to look like a male. He was safe and she would be safe with him. Everything would be all right. Everything…
A quiet knock on the door startled her so much she had to clamp a hand over her own mouth to keep from screaming.
“Anna?” a low, familiar voice murmured. “Are you there?”
Taking a deep breath to calm her jangling nerves, Anna went to the door and opened it, just a crack. There, looming in the shadows, was a huge male shape. For a moment she wanted nothing more than to slam the door shut and run hide under the bed, just as she did when Gorn came into her room. But then he spoke.
“Is this a bad time? Should I go?”
Knowing that he was willing to leave her alone if she didn’t want him there made Anna feel braver—safer.
“No.” She cleared her throat. “No, it’s all right. You can come in.”
She opened the door wider to admit him and Dark glided into the room as noiselessly as a shadow. He put a hand on her shoulder and Anna did her best not to jump.
“What is it baby?” His voice was low and intimate. “You’re trembling.”
“Nothing.” She drew away from him and went to the side of the bed. “I was just…thinking of the past. Of things…things I wish I could forget.”
“I’m sorry. Would you like me to stay over here? Away from you?” He sat on the floor, looking up at her, making himself smaller and less threatening. “If you want to sit on the bed, I can stay here and we can just talk,” he offered.
It sounded like a good idea to Anna. As much as she liked him, she needed a little space at the moment.
“All right,” she said.
There was a stepstool which she had found in the kitchen by the side of the bed, so she was able to climb up onto the high Trollox mattress without too much trouble. She settled herself on the edge of the bed and drew her knees up to her chin. Her new position shifted the spreader inside her uncomfortably but she was able to put her arms around her knees and wrap herself into a tight, little package, which made her feel safer.
Dark stayed where he was, watching her. His bronze eyes glowed in the darkness of her room but not in a threatening way. It made her wonder if he could see as well in the shadows as he could in the light. It was probably just another feature of his type of Replicant.
“Did you get the menu for the banquet planned?” she asked, to make conversation.
He nodded. “It’s all done and the order’s been placed. It’s a hell of a lot of food but Trollox are big eaters.”
“Yes…I guess they are.” Anna wasn’t sure what to say. She wanted to ask him to kiss her again but she didn’t quite know how. And she kept thinking of how Lazlo had talked to her—how he had blamed her for what he’d done to her. If she hadn’t been so eager…so needy for sex that she’d been willing to go off with him in his private ship, which Brex had warned her never, ever to do, she wouldn’t be in this position now. She wouldn’t—
“What are you thinking?” Dark asked in a low voice. “Don’t stop to consider—just tell me.”
“I’m thinking it’s my fault I’m in this mess,” Anna said honestly. “My stepfather tried to warn me not to go anywhere alone with Lazlo. But I wouldn’t listen. Because I was so tired of waiting—of never being loved. I wanted to be close to someone—anyone—and I told myself it was worth the risk. So this…” She made a gesture to indicate her situation. “Is all…my…fault.”
“You shouldn’t blame yourself for the evil of others…or for your own desire,” Dark said quietly. “You said yourself you were lonely—it’s natural to seek out companionship when you’re lonely.”
“Lazlo said I was a slut.” She looked down at her hands. “He said everything he did to me was only what I asked for.”
“So he wasn’t content to hurt your body, he also had to break your spirit with guilt.” Dark sounded angry and in the darkness, she noticed his eyes were glowing brighter. “Don’t blame yourself for being in this situation, Anna. And don’t feel bad that you were tricked by an unscrupulous male—nothing he did to you is your fault.”
“That’s not how it feels,” she whispered. “I just keep thinking, if only I had just stayed home…if only I’d listened to Brex…”
“Anna…” He leaned closer. “Can I come to you? Can I sit beside you and hold you?” he asked and there was a soft intensity in his voice that made her think he was holding himself back by force of will—waiting for her permission.
“All right—I guess,” she whispered. “But why? Why do you want to hold me?”
“Because I think I can help you. No—I know I can, if you’ll let me.”
He got up and came to sit beside her on the edge of the bed—no stepladder needed in his case, she noticed. Carefully, he put an arm around her shoulders and drew her close to him.
At first Anna stiffened but then she felt herself melting against him, felt her entire body relaxing as she pressed her cheek to his broad, bare chest. He smelled so good—like cinnamon and sugar and that dark, delicious, addictive spice that was somehow utterly masculine. It was hard to believe he was a soulless robot when he held her like this, she thought, hard to believe that he was nothing but a Replicant when he stroked her hair so gently and cradled her against him.
“Now,” she heard Dark murmur. “Go ahead and let yourself feel it all—feel everything you’ve been thinking about. You’re safe here with me—it’s all right to let it out.”
Anna didn’t know what good it would do, but she’d already been thinking about it anyway. It wasn’t like she could keep the bad memories at bay forever. Closing her eyes, she stopped fighting.
“You want it, you little whore—just admit it. Take it! You know you love it!”
“No—no, please!” Tears filled her
eyes and choked her throat so that she could barely breathe. “Please don’t! I thought you loved me! How can you do this to me?”
“How could I love a fat bitch like you?” Lazlo sneered. “You’re disgusting—you’re lucky I’m paying you any attention at all. Once the Trollox get hold of you, you’ll wish you could have me back again!”
He laughed as he hurt her and the pain became almost unbearable. Anna bit the inside of her cheek until she tasted blood and tears streamed down her cheeks. Tears of agony, tears of betrayal.
How can he do this? I thought he loved me! How could he lie and hurt me? Why…why…?
“Gods…” Dark’s arm tightened around her and he made a muffled noise of anguish.
“Are you all right?” Anna looked up at him in concern, swiping away the tears that were stinging her eyes before they could fall. “Did something hurt you?”
“Not as much as it hurt you, baby.” His arm tightened around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. “Go on and finish. Let it all out.”
Anna didn’t understand what was happening—what he was doing—but somehow, it seemed to be working. As she relived the awful memory and let the feelings of guilt and shame and pain flow through her, they somehow seemed to flow out of her as well.
Usually when she allowed this memory to surface, it made her feel weak and ashamed and she hated herself. But this time, letting it play in her head seemed to bring a kind of catharsis.
It wasn’t my fault, she told herself firmly. I should have been more careful—should have listened to Brex. But Lazlo had always been a perfect gentleman—I had no reason to believe he’d be anything else once we were alone. What he did to me isn’t anything I wanted or asked for—I am not to blame for the way he hurt me and used me. He’s an evil bastard and I was naïve—he took advantage of my innocence.
“Feeling better, baby?” Dark’s voice was low and hoarse in her ear, drawing her out of her thoughts.
“Yes,” she said automatically and then realized it was true. “Yes,” she said again, looking up at him. “I feel a lot better, actually. I don’t feel so bad or guilty or ashamed anymore.”
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