by Frost, E J
Logan runs his fingertips around the edge of his water glass, which is a delicate gesture for such a big man, but I think Logan perceives a lot through touch, maybe more than some of his other senses.
“Physical pain banishes the bad thoughts, though, doesn’t it? That’s why you brought me the hairbrush and asked me to paddle your feet on our first date.”
Yes, it was. “Sometimes just connecting with my Dom again is enough.” I edge closer to him, because this conversation is making me jittery. “But most of the time, I need pain.”
Logan scoops me up and settles me in his lap. “Better?”
I nod gratefully.
“What does kinky pain represent to you, baby doll?” he asks, while he feeds me the last few bites of fish.
“Control, connection, safety, release.”
“Good girl.” He kisses my temple and offers me the last bite of my dinner. “When does pain scare you beyond what you can handle?”
I chew ten times before I answer. “When it’s unexpected. As long as I know it’s coming, I can relax into it. Even if it’s more pain than I anticipated, it’s still okay as long as I know it’s coming. Like with the cane. It bit really hard, particularly on the backs of my legs, but you tapped me first, so I knew it was coming and I was okay.”
“Very good. What pain is too much?”
I try to think of pain that’s been truly too much—either a kind of hurt or severity—while he feeds me crème brûlée. There have been plenty of times when I thought the pain was going to be more than I could endure, but looking back on it, it wasn’t, and it always ended up being a turn-on. There’s only been one scene when it really wasn’t.
“That time I told you about with Matthew. The forced orgasms on the Sybian,” I say. “I should have used my safe word, but I was being punished for, um, being really horrible.” I actually told Matthew to go fuck himself, something I never, ever did again. “I was trying to endure it so I wouldn’t be in worse trouble. It hurt in a way that I couldn’t process. It felt like something was ripping inside me. I’m okay with pain on the outside, but maybe not so much on the inside?”
Logan puts the spoon in the empty cup and strokes my back. “So we’re clear, if you use your safe word with me, you will not be in trouble. I will never punish you for that. And if you feel like something is ripping inside, you tell me immediately. You don’t need to safe word. You just tell me, straight away.”
“Yes, Daddy.” I snuggle into him, feeling so safe in his lap with his warm arms around me.
“Good girl. I know some of this is hard to talk about, Emmy, but you’re doing great. Just a little more, then we’ll watch some scenes. What brings on bad thoughts?”
“It’s not just one thing.” That’s not completely true and I immediately regret saying it. “Uh, okay, there is one thing. Doubting my Dom. That brings bad thoughts on, always.”
“Doubting your Dom when he leaves you alone in the dark? Or when he takes you beyond your pain threshold? Or when he lies to you?”
“All of those,” I whisper into his shirt.
“Things that undermine your trust in your Dom. That’s what brings on bad thoughts?”
I nod. My throat feels too thick to force words through.
Logan rubs my back and holds me close, breathing warmly into my hair. “Did you have bad thoughts after what I did to you in L.A., sweetie? You can tell me. Don’t be afraid. I won’t be angry.”
Surprisingly, I didn’t. I wanted him to stop, but nothing sent me into a tailspin. It didn’t even rouse the hateful internal monologue.
“No, Daddy. I think because I focused on you. I could see you were in pain and I just wanted to make you feel better. I didn’t get lost in my own head.”
He tips my head back to kiss me, deep and sweet, his tongue lapping the flavor of spicy beef into my mouth. I wrap my arms around his neck. When he breaks the kiss, he rests his forehead against mine, and looks into my eyes. “You are such a little love, Emmy.”
I swallow back the first words on my tongue. It’s too soon to say those words. “Ta, Daddy. You’re the best daddy in the world, even though you ask really hard questions sometimes.”
He grins. “Enough hard questions for tonight. The getting-to-know-you part of a new relationship can be painful, especially for someone as private as you are, but you’re doing really well. The trust you’re showing me, little girl, it blows me away. Enough for now, huh? Let’s go watch some scenes. We don’t want to miss our date with Julia and her Goddess in the Kennels, do we?”
“No, Daddy.”
As he helps me up and gathers my tote, it occurs to me there’s another demonstration I’ve agreed to go to, and I haven’t mentioned it to him yet. “Daddy, there is a class tomorrow I said I’d go to with Vashi.”
Logan starts chuckling. “Niall texted me about it while you were napping. Cocksucking Class, huh? Naughty baby.”
“He did?” I didn’t realize Logan was close enough to Vashi’s Dom to have traded phone numbers. I don’t have Vashi’s number, assuming she even has one. Some Masters don’t let their slaves have phones. That was one of the many points of contention between me and Lew: he didn’t want me to have one. “I mean, is it okay if I go?”
“More than okay. I can’t wait for you to demonstrate what you learn.”
That makes me giggle. “Master Niall said he was going to ask you to do a scene to demonstrate.”
“Yeah, he did, but I’d prefer a private demonstration first.” Logan steers me through the restaurant towards the stairs. “There are things I’m happy to do in public for the first time, like impact play with a toy we haven’t used before, but not new sexual things.”
I’m not sure I understand the difference. “Why, Daddy?”
“Mmm.” Logan rubs his hand in the small of my back as he thinks. “Maybe because I feel least in control when we’re having sex. When we’re in public, I need to be in control to ensure your safety. That’s my responsibility as your daddy and your Dom. It’s too easy to get lost in my own pleasure when we’re doing something sexual for the first time. I need some experience with it so I can stay in control.”
That makes sense. And makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside that he’s both so affected by sex with me and so concerned for my safety.
* * *
Once we get back to our cabins, he does something that makes the warm-and-fuzzy feeling explode, filling up my insides. He sets my bag down on my bed, goes to my closet, and takes out my pink panda onesie.
“Be my panda baby tonight, Emmy.”
Omigod, I would love to be his panda baby. I can’t stop myself from jumping up and down in excitement. “Yes, please!”
He holds out the onesie, hooking his finger in the buttoned back flap. “Expect me to bend you over at some point tonight and make you suck your thumb while I fuck you through this naughty little flap.”
Melting. My brain is melting. “Yes, Daddy.”
“Your eyes are huge, baby doll. We good?”
“Yes, Daddy, so good.”
“That’s my girl.” He helps me out of my cover-up and bathing suit and into the onesie, dressing me like I can’t do anything for myself, stroking me all over while he eases the soft flannel up my legs and arms. The fabric brushes all over my nipples and thighs and butt as he dresses me, setting me on fire with soft little touches. My brain melts and my heart melts and my pussy melts and I don’t think I’ve ever been this wet. I swear if he touched my clit right now, I’d come without pain or penetration or anything else.
“Daddy, please?”
“Needy, my baby?” he asks, turning me around and unbuttoning the onesie’s bottom flap. He slides his hand between my legs, slips two fingers into me. “You can’t have my cock until later, but you can have my fingers. Does this little girl get an orgasm when she was a naughty girl and came without permission while she was being paddled?”
I’m pretty sure I don’t. My eyes water because I need an orgasm so badly my
legs are already shaking, and he’s not even moving his fingers in me yet. “No, Daddy?”
“Mmm, I’ll make you a deal, sweetheart. Give Daddy something you’ve never given anyone before. It can be anything you want, but it has to be something you’ve never given anyone else. Give that to me before bed and you can have an orgasm and Daddy will forgive you for your stealth orgasm because I know it took you by surprise and we haven’t done any orgasm training yet.”
“Deal, Daddy.” God, such a deal. I’d struggle with more impact today. I feel strung-out and somehow Logan intuits it. “What should it be?”
My mind’s blank. I’ll give him anything he wants, but I can’t come up with a single thing on my own. Why am I so stupid sometimes?
“Have a think while we’re watching the scenes and if you can’t think of anything before bed, Daddy will give you some suggestions.”
Relief soaks me. “Ta, Daddy.”
“Good girl. Bend over the bed. Show Daddy those sweet, pink cheeks.”
I bend over as instructed. Logan steps in close behind me and puts his feet between mine so I’m captured between his hard thighs and the edge of the bed. As he begins working his fingers into me, he rubs his other hand over my bare bottom. “This looks almost healed. Just one or two dark spots. How does it feel?”
“Good, Daddy.” It doesn’t hurt anymore, and even if it did, I wouldn’t feel it under the onslaught of pleasure from his stroking fingers.
“Uh-huh. Now what did I say about this bottom getting spanked for watching movies that are much too old for a little girl?”
“You said tomorrow, Daddy,” I say, whimpering at the motion of his fingers, flicking and curling inside me.
“So I did, but I think this bottom can take a spanking now. Then you’re going to say sorry to Daddy for watching naughty movies, and then Daddy might let you come.”
I’m not sure whether to be excited or terrified. I’m already shaky and Logan spanks really hard. A fact he reinforces a second later when he slaps his palm against my right cheek while thrusting his fingers all the way into me. I squeal and squirm with the heat and sting that rockets through me. He builds it, slowly at first, several strokes of his fingers to each burst of tingly heat across my butt. The spanking never transitions into pain, though. Logan’s just ramping me up, and as my brain processes that I’m not really being punished, relief takes me over the edge. “Daddy!”
“That’s it, little girl. What do you say?”
“I’m sorry for watching naughty movies, Daddy! Please may I come?”
“Not yet.”
“Daddy!” I protest.
He reaches under me and tweaks my nipples through the onesie before delivering another tingly slap to my ass. “Behave, little girl. This is Daddy’s cunt. It doesn’t get to come until I say so.”
“Daddy, please! Please, Daddy!”
“Nope. Tell me what you’re sorry for?”
“Watching naughty movies!” I wail.
“And?”
“Coming without permission this morning. I’m so sorry, Daddy!”
“That’s right, you naughty little monkey.” He slaps my ass and rams his fingers into me, and all I can feel is the heat burning me up front and back and I can’t stop, the tremors are starting and I thrash, trying to escape his fingers so I don’t come again without permission.
He grabs my hip and drags me back onto his fingers. “Where do you think you’re going? You take what Daddy gives you and you hold it until I tell you.”
“Daddy, no! Daddy, please!” I howl.
Logan pins me down with his hand in the small of my back while he slams his fingers inside me.
“Daddy, please! Daddy, please! I can’t! Daddy!”
“That’s it. Now, little girl, come now.”
I scream with the release that shoots through me, throwing me forward against the bed, slamming through every nerve, shooting my legs out straight around his thighs, bucking and shaking as my whole world comes apart. The power of the delayed orgasm rips through me, straight down to my bones, and fractures my brain into a thousand spinning, sparkling pieces.
Logan holds me still. His body becomes my anchor as he settles over me, pressing me into the bed, while his fingers continue to slowly stroke inside me, drawing out my orgasm in rolling waves of light and darkness.
“Daddy,” I sob, completely undone.
“That’s my baby angel,” Logan murmurs against my cheek, his breath cool on my hot skin. “I love seeing you fall apart, sweetheart. So beautiful.”
“Daddy, I came too soon,” I bawl, hiccupping against his weight on my back.
He kisses my temple and smooths my hair back from my face. “Sh. That was perfect. Exactly what I wanted you to feel. Trust Daddy. I’m not here to make you fail, sweet baby.”
That soothes me. He’s not like that, giving me impossible goals I can’t reach, just so he can punish me for failure. “I don’t want to let you down.”
“Never, sweetheart. I’m proud of you.”
“You are?”
“Yes, baby. So proud. Every time I see you strive for me, taking pain or delaying your orgasm or accepting my rules, even though I know it’s hard, I nearly burst with pride.”
“Huggle?”
“Whatever you need, sweetie.” He rises off me, turns me around and pulls me onto his lap as he sits, with my bare bottom still hanging out of the open flap of my onesie, cool air kissing my heated cheeks. He holds me to him in koala-baby position and kneads my ass gently, working in the lingering sting. I wrap one arm around his neck and stick my thumb in my mouth, overcome by the emotion flooding through me. Logan rocks me on his lap, calling me his sweet girl, Daddy’s baby doll, while I suck and whimper into his neck.
Finally, when the storm passes, he kisses my wet eyes. He takes my thumb out to kiss me before he gives me his thumb in its place. “I love watching you suck your thumb. Tonight, I want you to use Daddy’s thumb. I want to watch you fall asleep sucking Daddy’s thumb. Can you do that for me?”
“Yeth, Daddy,” I mumble, sucking in soft, slow draws and feeling comforted all the way down to my still-throbbing core.
“Can you sleep in this, panda baby, or will you be too hot?”
“I can sleep in this.” Particularly if his room is still sub-arctic.
“Good.” He squeezes my ass, intensifying the low throb, before rubbing it away. “Have you ever fallen asleep with a cock in you?”
“No, Daddy.”
“If you can’t come up with anything else that’s what you can give Daddy tonight. You can fall asleep sucking Daddy’s thumb, stuffed full of Daddy’s cock. I would love that.”
I would love that, too. So much my eyes overflow. What’s wrong with me? I’m not weepy like this. “Please, Daddy.”
“Good girl. That’s my honey baby. Daddy’s going to carry you down now. You stay just like this, wrapped around Daddy with your little red ass hanging out for everyone to see. I want everyone to see Daddy’s marks on you.”
Humiliation flushes me but there’s no rational part of my brain left to object. “Yes, Daddy.”
“Good girl. You give Daddy exactly what he wants, don’t you? So proud of my little doll.”
I do give him exactly what he wants. I cling to him as he carries me out of my room, down in the elevator, all with the flap of my onesie hanging open and my ass out for everyone to see. The sick swirl in my stomach at being displayed calms under the warmth of Logan’s smile. A man wearing nothing but a leather kilt rides the elevator with us, appreciating my reddened bottom all the way down. Logan lets him stroke my hot cheeks, the unfamiliar touch making me whine and clutch at Logan’s neck.
Logan praises me as he carries me down a corridor. He’s been carrying me for what feels like miles, but he makes it seem effortless. “All of you belongs to Daddy. No one touches you without my permission.”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“Good girl. What are you giving Daddy tonight?”
; “Something I’ve never given anyone before,” I whisper into his neck.
“That’s right.”
“I’ll give you everything, Daddy.” And I mean it in that moment. He can have anything he wants from me. I’m wholly his.
He squeezes me tight against his chest. “That’s my good, sweet girl. I know you will.”
He carries me into the Kennels, a dungeon set up for pet play, with cages and bowls and rings in the walls where pets can be chained. In the middle of the room, two Pink Pearl Doms kneel on mats and pillows, rubbing the bellies of a group of furries. Just inside the door, there’s a round, pet bed where two men are fucking a woman in a kitten mask. One of them holds her leash as he deep-throats her. The other has a grip on her tail, held in place by a massive butt plug, while he fucks her from behind. She’s writhing on the round bed, howling around the cock down her throat.
“She doesn’t sound like a kitty, Daddy,” I whisper.
Logan chuckles. “More like a tiger, huh?”
He stops and we watch as the two men make the kitty scream for a solid minute. Finally, she pushes the Dom fucking her away with a swipe of her claw-mitts. Although her claws raise red welts on the Dom’s thigh, he just laughs and slaps her ass before releasing her from the pinion of his cock.
Logan carries me onward, to where a puppy with floppy, spotted ears is lapping water out of a bowl under the direction of a Dom who corrects him, when he splashes, with a whip that looks more suitable for horses than a dog. The puppy’s tanned, bare back is speckled with red blotches from the whip, but his expression as he looks up at his trainer is one of utter bliss.
Knowing I must look something like that, I nuzzle into Logan’s neck.
At the far end of the Kennel, we find Julia, wearing her jeweled collar, a beautiful filigree mask and matching ears, kneeling on a cushion at the feet of her Goddess, who sits in a throne-like chair. Julia’s Goddess has paired knee-high, stiletto boots with a silver, silk shift that matches her silver-white bob. Wow, I hope I look that hot and classy when I’m a Woman of a Certain Age.
They both nod in acknowledgement as we draw near. Logan exchanges greetings with the Domme before he sits, still holding me, on one of the less grandiose, wooden chairs set in a semi-circle a few feet away. There are a few other voyeurs sitting in the ring of chairs, waiting for the scene to begin.