She laughed coldly at him, her eyes holding a near manic light. She started to say something, but a low moan reached them.
Scott stepped away from the door and moved toward the hallway intersection. “Six of them coming up to the doorway from outside. They’ll bring more.”
“All this shouting!” seethed Not-Saya.
“Doesn’t take a genius to figure that out,” said Scott.
She glared at him but said nothing. Instead, she made a huffing noise and went further back into the staff room.
“I’ll go deal with the ones that are coming. You all figure out what you want to do with me, and I’ll find out when I get back,” said Scott. At this point he wasn’t even certain that he cared. While he adored the anime, he did not adore what had just happened.
“You’re going out to fight them?” asked Saiko.
Scott shrugged at her. “If we don’t kill them, they’ll draw more.”
“I’m coming,” she said.
He gasped at her then placed his hand to his lips. “Ara. Ara. Such a thing to admit in public.”
She blinked at him then narrowed her eyes slightly. Scott sighed at her then chuckled tiredly. “Strike one for my attempt to lighten the mood.”
This time she offered a smile then strode forward. “Shall we?”
“Let’s,” said Scott.
They nodded to each other then rushed off toward the front door. The cluster of zombies outside proved to be nothing special. While there were a few more milling around in the distance, they all seemed to be heading toward the classroom building. The shouts of the dead and dying were much more noticeable from that direction.
“It’s awful,” said Saiko quietly.
“Yeah,” said Scott in a similar quiet tone.
She looked at him and then nodded. “What do you think about this group?”
“We’re all just a bunch of frightened people. I talked shit to that guy back there, but I understand him at least,” said Scott.
“It seemed like you hated him,” she said curiously.
“Nah, I hate that he decided to project his short-comings onto me, but I can understand what he did,” said Scott. “The world’s going to hell. You might not even be able to protect yourself, but you still want to protect the one you love.”
Saiko said nothing, but there was a certain light in her eyes. “The one you love, huh.”
Scott missed seeing it, as he was busy surveying the area for necro-erotic life forms. However, much like the series he now seemed to be a part of, a certain purple haired sword master had begun thinking… thoughts.
“What about you?” he asked her.
“Hmm?” asked Saiko.
“The group. Thoughts?” asked Scott.
“Similar to yours,” she agreed. Saiko twisted her torso from side to side a little, limbering up for the fight to come. “Tosh disappointed me, though. He handled himself well during the fight in the staff room, but his temperament leaves much to be desired.”
“People cope in their own way,” said Scott. “I’m sure once he’s managed to think about it, he’ll figure out where he fucked up.”
“Of course,” she said in a non-committal manner.
They turned back to the staff room. The doors remained unlocked, so Scott assumed he was allowed inside. The survivors were watching television in the hopes of finding something useful on the news. Though, those hopes seemed to be in vain. None of the news outlets had shown anything but the same non-answers being broadcast repeatedly.
“It’s like he said,” said Summer concern lacing her tone. “At the infirmary Scott said that he saw smoke coming from buildings further away before the school. He told us no one would come to rescue us because they were probably dealing with the same thing everywhere else in the city.”
“That guy is way too calm about all of this,” muttered Not-Saya. A certain light came to her eyes not long after. A few pieces to the puzzle seemed to be fitting together.
She saw them enter the room and she immediately looked at Scott. “How do you know what happened in the classroom? You left before it all happened.”
Scott blinked at her. His multiple deaths had caused shifts in the events of the day. From her perspective, he would not have been able to know all that he knew. Thankfully, he did not become a bumbling mess. Cool Under Pressure was not just a nifty trait name.
“Do you really need to be a genius to realize that I passed Tosh in the hall, realized that he was moving with a purpose, and doubled back to see if he knew anything?” asked Scott curiously.
“Is that a fact?” asked Not-Saya, her eyes narrow.
“I had just seen people eating other people in the school yard. Doesn’t it seem likely that I would want answers?” asked Scott with a snort.
Not-Saya glared at him, but looked away. Scott’s story seemed off to her, but she couldn’t find fault with it.
Tosh rested on the floor nearby with his legs spread out and a bag of ice pressed against his crotch. He gave Scott a heated glare when he saw him but said nothing.
Summer saw them enter and waved to them. “How is it outside?”
“We cleared them out and maybe bought a few minutes. Probably not much more than that before they start sniffing for us again, though,” said Scott.
“That’s good,” said Summer.
Scott separated from Saiko then headed toward a quiet corner to sit down. He was able to see most of the room, but it also provided a little privacy.
Not-Saya snorted at him in passing, but he said nothing to her. He had more important things to do. Soon, she began to show her genius ability to provide expositional world building information by explaining how plagues wiped out Europe. Summer provided a bit of information about how they ended. Mainly, they were brought to an end only when so many people died that the plague could not spread.
While they discussed their world and its undeniable end, Scott decided to risk opening his menus. If they were able to see them, he would explain himself. If not, then he still needed to check on a few things.
No one seemed to notice the glowing panel of light that hovered in front of him, so he considered it to be something akin to a useful hallucination. His status menu was largely the same, save for the addition of three more experience points.
It was a strange thing to him, as he had not earned experience points for killing zombies before. Either they were not worth much, or he would not get points for beating an enemy. Yet, he had earned three world points somehow. Was it because of the argument, or did he get bonus points for giving Tosh a nut tap?
At the moment it didn’t matter. What did matter was the fact that he had points to spend. Scott checked his skills once more then shrugged. Would he be able to find another use for all those points? He did not know. At the moment, he needed every boost that he could get. The problem was that there was little that he could do with the points that he had.
His attributes would only increase through training. Apparently, that meant normal human training time. He could spend points to accelerate his growth, but he had no time to train at the moment. He could cut the training time for one attribute in half with the points that he currently possessed, but otherwise he had very little use for his trait points at present. Frankly, it seemed a waste to spend his points like that unless he could reach a location where he had a chance to actually train.
“All of these points, and nothing to do with them,” he mumbled to himself. The others were busy with their discussion, so they did not hear him.
There had to be something that he could do with the points that he had. At the moment, all he could do was enhance his training efficiency.
More. There had to be more to it all. There was no reason to believe that he could not do something with the points that he possessed!
Scott began to focus inward even more than before. He needed to understand what was happening.
Why was it even happening? How did he come to be in this place? Now that he had a m
oment to think, it was hard to deny his burning need for answers.
Those unvoiced questions were met with a sudden searing pain that erupted behind his eyes. The pain did not last for long, but what was left behind in its wake would potentially inform his thoughts for many years to come.
In the depths of his heart, a memory awoke. It was the memory of something he did nearly two years prior. Bored and lonely due to a recent break up with his most recent girlfriend, he found himself in need of something to lighten his mood. So, as he often did, he decided to binge watch anime while he ate canned spaghetti straight out of the can.
Was it the healthiest lifestyle? No. Yet, turning off his need to pay attention to the real world for a while and allowing himself to revel in supposed immaturity was a coping mechanism that always worked for him. A few days spent doing nothing but indulging in escapist fantasies usually led him to be able to move on and accept reality. Basically, it was the time-honored tradition of taking a break from his responsibilities.
On that day, a day like any other, he chose to watch Fate Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works. As he watched the anime, he began to feel a little silly and wanted to expand on that feeling given that he had felt like shit for a few weeks at that point.
Tired of moping around about a girl who had run off with his father’s former proctologist, and even more tired of the jokes people had about his girl dating a man who’d seen his father’s butt hole, he chose to unleash his own noble phantasm. Giggity.
Scott chuckled to himself then stopped suddenly. He held a can of unopened spaghetti aloft and acquired a super serious for reals expression to hide his growing good humor. Deeply, reverently, he intoned an impromptu incantation.
~ I am the meat of my balls.
Meat is my body and sauce is my blood.
I have created over a thousand noodles,
Unknown to Italy,
Nor known to Olive Garden.
I have withstood habaneros to create many spicy dishes,
yet my hands will never grasp true flavor.
So, as I Pray—
Unlimited Spaghetti Works! ~
Scott practically crowed the final line aloud, then ceremoniously popped the top of his spaghetti can and looked deep into its mass manufactured goodness. He offered a slight smile and said. “If only my life could be like that. Games. Anime. Hot fantasy babes to hang out with… Unlimited spaghetti. I want it all!”
He tore into the innocent contents of the can with his fork then shoved into his mouth. The moment the sauce touched his tongue, he froze completely.
This was the last thing that Scott originally remembered for the next few hours from that day, but the information continued inside his mind. He ate the forkful of spaghetti, and as it slid happily down his throat a strange light came to his eyes.
In a voice deep and resonate, he intoned the words, “I hear you, child. May you never be lost… within my sauce.”
“The fuck?” whispered Scott, his eyes wide. He even knew what all of that meant thanks to the mental download, as ridiculous as it sounded! He had prayed to a can of spaghetti as a goof and the freaking Flying Spaghetti Monster, a fictional parody of religions such as Christianity and the concepts of creationism, had chosen to wash away his sad lonely man tears with his righteous sauce and the meat of his balls.
It was stupid. It was all so damned, stupid!
His so-called prayer was just something people did when they were bored. Yet, now he was in an actual anime themed world. The weird differences between reality and anime even made sense now, as well. The Flying Spaghetti Monster knew that it was created to be a satirical parody of religions and creationism. Thus, all the worlds that Scott could travel too would be parodies of the things that he loved most.
There was a lot of information to process. The world, he had come to was actually a place where the Flying Spaghetti Monster was real. There was something about this alternate dimension being formed when the inhabitants of the original Earth of that reality had performed experiments that involved warping space. Inadvertently, they caused a catastrophic series of events that turned human pop-culture into an ever-expanding multiverse of literal versions of their wildest fantasies. This world, and many others similar to it, was a real place. Yet, it operated on logic that did not adhere to the common sense of the Earth that the multiverse supplanted.
With each passing moment, this expanse of shattered remnants of the original world grew stronger and the number of worlds increased exponentially. Here, in this place, he could visit variations of the games and anime that he loved. Yet, he could only visit worlds akin to a twisted mockery of the original, as the cosmic entity that granted him this power was also such a creature. In this, Scott could be made to come closer to the mind and nature of his one true god, The Flying Spaghetti Monster. May his sauce stay forever saucy…
Scott shook his head slightly but tried not to show any further signs of movement. It was a fantastical thing that he had just learned, but it made as much sense as anything else in this ridiculous place. Apparently, he could even abandon his new faith as a world traveling Pastafarian and return home. Though, he would forget everything that happened and would never again have the chance to live out his wildest fantasies.
There was no dire situation involved, save for the apocalypse that he currently experienced. He could go where he wished and do as he wanted; live as he desired. His only limitations were his own mind, and the fact that he was required to never speak ill of spaghetti. He loved spaghetti, so that last thing was not a problem. Though, there seemed to be a disclaimer involved that would allow him to rebuke someone for making a poor-quality version of the dish. Shit noodles were an affront to the lord, so to speak.
His existence was a strange one indeed, but it wasn’t that important at the moment. There was a chance that he would become stronger, and he wanted to look into his options again now that he had a moment.
Scott Ambrose
Level: 60
EXPERIENCE POINTS
Item EXP: 1257
Equipment EXP: 1023
Skill EXP: 612
Trait EXP: 1037
Waifu EXP: 1050
World EXP: 1015
DYNAMIC ATTRIBUTES
Hit Points: 87/100
Energy: 0/100
STATUS ATTRIBUTES
Strength: 10
Endurance: 10
Agility: 10
Mind: 10
Spirit: 10
Luck: 10
TRAITS
Cool Under Pressure
SKILLS
Itemization [0]
Identification
Edged Weapon Mastery [0]
Everything was as it should be, in accordance to the information provided. His current exhaustion was due to completely using up his energy to itemize the corpses. It did take energy to itemize items and other things, but not much. The cumulative effect of that, plus the slight damage taken while he escaped the school, had drained him of some of his precious hit points.
Fiddling with his information windows eventually led him to an interesting discovery. He finally learned the purpose of Waifu points.
Strange as it seemed, waifu points were a resource used to help him acquire waifus. Rather, summoned female traveling companions. If Scott wanted, he could expend a large number of waifu points to create a permanent summoning bond between himself and one of the parodies of the ladies that he might meet on his adventure. It would not work on dudes, however.
Those points could also be used to basically warp their fragile little minds. Not directly, but by applying bonus modifiers to gifts and interactions that would cause them to be more interested in him. Scott was immediately repulsed by the idea, even if it only sounded like a generic dating sim style game mechanic.
He could also spend those points to learn facts about his waifus without having conversations with them. Still shady, but if he played his cards right it could be useful. Basically, it was no different than aski
ng a friend of the girl about what his potential love interest would like. It cut out the middle-man.
Waifu points were acquired by interacting with the ladies. Important female parody characters would give more points, and typically cost more points, but he could grind regular girls for points as well. Heh. Those points were also used to upgrade his summoned companions.
The cost of direct waifu purchase was indeed steep. There was another option, however. He could try to convince ladies to join him as part of his world-traveling harem crew. He would simply need to get their affection rating high enough to make their acquisition cost-effective. Once they became an official waifu, they would have all manner of perks that a normal woman wouldn’t.
It took him a moment, but he realized that he did not need to do anything special to check the affection rating. All he had to do was stare at a girl for a moment, like a creepy stalker, and he could see how much she liked him. It did not even cost him waifu points, as that was a feature of his identification skill.
In an attempt to go unnoticed, he covered his face with his hands and shielded his eyes. Covered, he felt free to stare at the pretty anime girls of Highschool of the Dead.
Saiko Bustiko
Status: Single
Affection Rating: Curious – [+23]
Level: 132
Cost: 25711
He was not too surprised by the cost, but the fact that she was curious about him was quite interesting. Though, he did wonder about how the waifu purchase thing would work. Did it turn her into a mindless love slave, or was it something else? The system lore inside his head was a bit vague on the subject. He knew that he could make her a waifu. He just wasn’t certain exactly what that might mean for her after the fact.
Power Fantasy Page 6