by Reilly, Cora
“Is everything all right?” Luca asked with a hint of impatience after a minute of silence from the doctor.
She peered up at him with a tense smile. “Everything is as it should be. You’re expecting a boy, congratulations.”
For a moment, I didn’t move. Marcella would be a wonderful big sister to a baby boy. Maybe she wouldn’t be as jealous if she remained the princess in the family, and I loved the idea of having a small Luca in my life, a tiny version of the man I loved more than anything else in the world.
Luca stroked his thumb along the back of my hand, the only sign of affection he’d allow himself in public. Luca and I would make sure that our boy had a better childhood than Luca and Matteo. Luca’s face was stone but in his eyes, I could see the hint of wariness. I could imagine the worries going through his head. Even with Marcella he’d worried he’d be like his father, would be too harsh or cruel, but nothing could be further from the truth. Maybe he wouldn’t be as lenient with a boy as he was with a daughter, but that was it.
Now wasn’t the time to discuss the test results, not while the doctor did the ultrasound and we weren’t alone.
The moment we were back in our car, I took Luca’s hand. “You will be a wonderful dad to our boy. I just know it. You’ll love him like you love me and Marcella. I know you will be patient and loving and you won’t hurt him.”
Luca raised my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles but he didn’t say anything.
Luca
Aria sounded absolutely certain and I wished I could feel the same way but I knew raising a boy in our world required me to make him strong, to make him tough, to make him ruthless. Our boy would become Capo one day, he would rule over the Famiglia and the entire East Coast. For him to be ready for that task, he needed to be a killer, he needed to be cruel and brutal, resistant to pain and fear. My father had loved torturing Matteo and me like he loved torturing our mother and later Nina. He’d relished in our pain, in our fear; hardening us had happened automatically. Matteo and I became used to pain from an early age, had seen horrible things in our own home, had seen our father commit horrendous crimes when we were barely old enough to walk.
How would I handle a boy?
Aria was still smiling at me with a face full of kindness and love. It let my own heart swell with the same emotions. Though, Aria and Marcella were the only people I was kind to, the only people I wanted to treat that way. But a boy, a small version of me… that was another story.
If he was anything like me, like the men in my family, he’d be difficult to handle, would love the kill and inflicting pain. Showing him kindness would be difficult. I’d have to encourage his dark side, his brutality, would have to make sure he became even more bloodthirsty. How could I harden a boy for our world, for the task of becoming Capo, if not with violence?
I didn’t know and I wasn’t sure if there was even a way, if I would even try going the gentle route. Maybe I wouldn’t feel the same hesitation, the same revulsion when thinking about hurting him, as I did with Aria and Marcella. When I looked at them, at their innocent faces, I couldn’t imagine hitting them, or worse. The idea of inflicting pain on my daughter or my wife made me sick to my stomach while inflicting pain on other people had always only brought me joy.
“What are you thinking?” Aria asked softly.
I drew my eyes away from the traffic, realizing I hadn’t reacted to her earlier comment, too lost in my whirring thoughts. “Just about how it’s going to be with a boy.”
“It’s going to be all right.” She squeezed my thigh and I put my hand on hers. “Have you thought about a name for him? With Marcella, you wanted your grandmother’s name, so I wondered if you want to do the same with a boy.”
“Name him after my father or grandfather? After men who tortured their children and wives?” I released a dark laugh. Those names would never be part of our family again. They’d died with their despicable owners.
“Well, I don’t want to name our son after my father or grandfather either.”
“We’ll find a name for him that doesn’t carry the baggage of the past,” I said.
Luca
It was way past midnight when Matteo and I entered the elevator in our building. We’d tracked down a gun depot of Tartarus MC in Jersey and burned it to the ground. Despite my hit to their chapter three years ago they were still being a pain in our asses.
Their cooperation with the Russians was shaky but they still had us as their common enemy.
Matteo yawned as he leaned against the mirrored wall. “Any luck on your house hunt?”
I shook my head. “Not yet. Most houses with a yard are too far out of the city.”
“Aria will pop out your kid soon so you better find something.”
“Still two months to go,” I muttered, but he was right. We’d been looking for a new home for us for three months now. The penthouse was too small for us and two kids, and they needed a yard where they could play, even if Aria and her sisters spent the weekends and the summers in the Hamptons.
The elevator stopped on Matteo’s floor and he left with a wave. I felt drained when I entered the penthouse, and the stench of burned wood hung in my nose.
A noise on the stairs made me tense, my hand going to my holster out of habit.
“Dad?” Marcella’s small voice carried through the dark. I lowered my arm and headed for the stairs where I found my daughter perching on the last step, rubbing her eyes. I squatted before her and she opened her arms wide. “Hold me.”
I picked her up and her small arms wrapped around my neck. “Why are you down here?”
“Can’t sleep.”
“Why didn’t you join your mom in bed?”
“I did, but you weren’t there… I wanted to wait for you.”
My heart swelled and I kissed her forehead. “I’m here now.”
She nodded in the crook of my neck. “Where were you?”
“At work, princess.”
“You smell like smoke.”
Fuck. Good thing I didn’t come home covered in blood today. That was something Marcella didn’t need to see. Eventually she would understand what I did but not yet. I didn’t want to taint her innocence so soon. “We had a bonfire.”
“Can we have one too?” she said in her soft, high voice.
Fuck.
I chuckled. “Next time we’re in the mansion.”
“Okaayy,” she murmured, her body already going soft. I carried her upstairs into the nursery and put her into her bed then covered her with her pink bedding. Her entire room was a girl’s dream of rose and white with unicorn drawings on the walls. Five years ago, I’d have never thought that any room in my penthouse would ever look like that. After a kiss on her forehead, I walked into the master bedroom.
The moon illuminated Aria’s sleeping form. As usual, she was turned toward my side. I quickly undressed and put on new boxers before I crept into bed. Aria had stuffed the blankets under her belly while her breastfeeding pillow was wedged between her legs. I supposed I’d sleep without covers again. Smiling, I pressed a soft kiss to her protruding belly then halted when I felt a small kick. My boy.
I lightly rested my forehead against Aria’s baby bump, marveling at the small wonder growing inside of her.
“Luca?” Aria whispered sleepily.
I lifted my head, kissed her mouth and stretched out beside her. Reaching around her, I carefully pulled her as close as her belly allowed. She pressed her forehead against my chest then kissed the skin lightly. “Bad day?” she asked, her voice drowsy and her breathing slow and even.
I drew in her comforting flowery scent, ran my fingers through her silky hair then down the soft skin of her arm.
“Not anymore,” I said quietly. “Now sleep.”
She did, and eventually I fell asleep as well.
I woke covered in sweat. Blinking against the early morning light, it took me a moment to figure out the heat source.
I was stretched out on my back and M
arcella was sprawled out across my chest, her hair sticking to my throat and chin. It was incredible how much heat her little body gave off. The second heat source was Aria, pressed against my side, her head on my shoulder and one arm thrown over Marcella and me.
Before Aria, I couldn’t even fall asleep with another person in the room. Now I didn’t even wake when my daughter snuck into our bedroom and used me as her mattress.
It must have been a deeply buried instinct that allowed me to differentiate because the few times I’d had to sleep somewhere else, I’d woken the second someone had as much as moved in the next room. It was as if my body knew I could trust Aria and Marcella and didn’t have to wake when they were around.
While I loved having my two girls as close as possible, I was going to have a heat stroke soon if they didn’t give me some space. Shifting, I tried to move Marcella off my chest without waking her. Tough luck.
Marcella opened her blue eyes, blinked at me then yawned.
“Shouldn’t you be in your bed?” For a while she’d crept into our bed almost every night but I wanted some privacy for Aria and myself, so we’d put a stop to it… mostly.
She gave me a sheepish smile and batted those long lashes. “I had a nightmare.”
“Did you really?” I asked sternly, or as sternly as I was capable of when Marcella was concerned. I was getting better the older she got because I knew she’d have to learn the rules of our world and couldn’t act like a spoiled princess.
She bit her lip, grinning cheekily. “No.”
“What did I tell you about lies?”
“They are bad,” she said, pushing into a sitting position on top of me. A few strands of her black hair stood off to the side.
I touched her chin. “No lying.”
She gave a nod then she slid off me and dashed away.
I chuckled.
“She’s got you wrapped around her little finger,” Aria said with a laugh then kissed my collarbone and chest.
“Like her mother.”
Aria raised her eyebrows and I kissed her mouth before I touched her belly. “How is he?”
Her expression softened further. “Amo’s kicking up a storm. He’s more active than Marcella was. He’ll be a little daredevil.”
I nodded as I stroked Aria’s belly, wondering how difficult he’d be. If he were like Matteo, we’d have our hands full. I still worried about the way I’d handle him. With Marcella I felt such a strong sense of protectiveness, I’d never be able to punish her harshly, but a boy? A boy who pushed my buttons and needed to be strong for the Famiglia.
“Stop worrying,” Aria said gently.
I sighed. “You know me too well. I’m not sure I like it.”
Aria propped herself up on my chest. “You love it.”
She was fucking right. I loved that Aria knew me better than anyone else, but I still tried to keep certain things from her—like the extent of my concerns about having a boy.
“I like Amo better every day,” I said to distract her.
Aria beamed. When she’d first suggested the name, I had hesitated because it wasn’t a very common name in our circles but then I’d figured that it was for the best. I wanted Amo to be special, wanted him to be better than Matteo and I, than everyone else. A better Capo and man than any Vitiello before him.
Aria
The pressure in my lower belly had gotten increasingly worse through the night. My due date was in three days. Staring up to the dark ceiling, I wondered if I should wake Luca but I worried that this was only a false alarm. He’d had a hard day and needed sleep. A strong contraction made me flinch and I cradled my baby bump, pressing my lips together.
Luca stirred beside me. “What’s wrong, love?”
“It’s probably nothing. I didn’t want to wake you. But I’m having contractions.”
Luca turned on the lights at once then rolled around to me with worried eyes. He touched my belly lightly as if he thought it would explode if he put too much pressure on it. “Should we drive to the hospital?”
If this wasn’t the real deal, we would spend hours in the hospital for nothing and Luca would lose a whole night of sleep. “I don’t think—”
Another, a stronger contraction cut me off and I panted, my fingers digging into the bedsheets.
Luca shook his head. “We’re going now.”
I could only nod. Luca helped me get out of bed and called Matteo while I got dressed in a summer dress, merely because it was comfy and could be taken off without hassle.
“Mom?” Marcella called from her room. “Dad?”
“I’ll get Marcella,” Luca said and disappeared before returning with our little girl on his arm, who was half-hidden behind her favorite teddy bear.
“You’ll be cold in this,” Luca commented when he saw what I was wearing.
I shook my head. “Trust me, being cold will be the last thing on my mind soon.”
Luca grabbed the hospital bag with one hand as he held Marcella with the other. Her dark hair was all over the place and she was rubbing her blue eyes sleepily.
Slowly I made my way down the staircase, taking one step after the other while Luca kept throwing worried glances over his shoulder at me.
Another contraction made me grab the banister for balance. Luca quickly rushed down the remaining steps and set Marcella and the bag down. “Wait here. I need to help your mom.”
Marcella nodded with big eyes, looking lost as she stood in her pink pajamas where Luca had left her. She didn’t understand what was going on and I wasn’t sure how to explain it to her. She knew she’d get a brother soon but for her he’d magically appear like a present. I wished it could be like that.
Luca wrapped an arm around me and slowly helped me down the remaining stairs. The elevator started moving up and a moment later Matteo stepped into our apartment in sweatpants. His eyes darted from Luca and me to Marcella who was clutching her teddy bear against her chest.
He strolled over to her. “There’s my favorite girl,” he said, grinning, but Marcella didn’t smile, only peered at him with big watery eyes. My heart ached but I wasn’t sure how to make this easier for her. Maybe if I hadn’t been in this much pain already, we could have made something up, but now I drew a blank.
Matteo squatted in front of her with a smile. “How about you spend the night with your favorite aunt and uncle? Gianna’s making chocolate chip cookies as we speak.”
I supposed tonight was a good time to break the ‘no chocolate after brushing teeth rule’.
“Are they good?” Marcella asked, tilting her head in that cute way she had.
Matteo chuckled. “Well, the dough is store bought, some fancy organic stuff, so chances are they’re going to be edible if we head down now and make sure your aunt doesn’t burn them.”
“Okay,” Marcella said in a gravelly voice. Then peered back at Luca and me.
“Go ahead, princess. I’ll make sure your mom is all right.”
Matteo opened his arms and Marcella immediately moved toward him, snuggling close. Matteo’s face softened as he scooped her up and pressed her to his chest. “Make sure my brother doesn’t get into trouble without me.”
I smiled. “Don’t worry. I’ll keep an eye on him.”
Matteo grinned then turned serious as he looked at Luca. “I’ll keep her safe.”
We stepped into the elevator together and descended to Matteo’s and Gianna’s floor. My sister hurried over in what looked like Matteo’s boxers and a cut-off tank top when the doors slid open and kissed my cheek. “Keep me updated.”
I nodded because I could feel another contraction fast approaching. Gianna turned to Luca. “Keep her safe.”
Not waiting for his reply, she tousled Marcella’s hair and kissed her cheek. “How about we paint our toenails? Maybe you and I can even convince Matteo to let us paint his as well.”
She gave Matteo a cheeky grin.
“Yes, please, Matteo. Pleeaase,” Marcella said, batting those long dark las
hes at her uncle.
Matteo sent Luca a tortured look. “Hurry up for my sake.”
“I’ll think of nothing else during labor,” I muttered as I clutched Luca’s arm in a death grip.
Luca jammed the button that would take us down and the doors closed to Gianna’s and Marcella’s smiling faces and Matteo’s resigned one. The moment we were hidden from view, I released a sharp gasp and bent forward, propping myself up on my thighs as I tried to breathe through the contraction.
Luca rubbed my back. When we arrived at the underground level, he gently steered me toward the car because I could hardly think straight from pain. “You’re doing great, Love.”
I couldn’t even put into words how grateful I was for the man at my side. Without his support, this would be twice as hard. With him at my side, I just knew everything was going to be all right.
Luca
Seeing Aria in pain was the fucking worst thing I could imagine, even if I knew it would be worth it in the end and that the pain would be forgotten once Aria held our son in her arms. Still I wished I could bear the pain in her stead.
We arrived at the hospital within fifteen minutes and were taken into the delivery room at once. Soon two doctors joined us and started checking the baby’s vital signs. One of them shook his head then turned to us. “We need to do a C-section. The heart rate and the oxygen level has gone down and your wife isn’t dilated enough.”
“Do what you have to do to guarantee my wife’s and our son’s safety,” I said quietly, giving them a warning look they couldn’t possibly misread. None of them would survive tonight if something happened to my family.
Aria’s eyes were wide as she breathed through another contraction. “I want a natural birth.”
“I know, Love, but this is for the best for you and the baby.”
It didn’t take long until everything was prepared for the operation. One of the doctors turned to me before they began. “Usually we warn the fathers that they shouldn’t look over the barrier unless they can stomach a lot of blood, but I don’t think that’s necessary with you.”