by K. C. Hamby
“Fal?”
I nearly jump out of my skin as I choke on a scream.
“Fal? What…what’s going on?” Nina asks, walking up and squatting in front of me, hair a wild mess on her head. “Why are you on the ground? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
I lean against the hand she gently places on my cheek. The slick clamminess of my skin sticks to her soft palm.
“I…I don’t know. I think I need sleep or something,” I try to joke, but it falls flat.
“It felt like you were…scared or...I don’t know. Your feelings were screaming through our bond. It scared me.” She moves her hand from my cheek and pushes sweat-dampened hair from my forehead.
“I’m okay,” I whisper and try to smile. I don’t know who I’m trying to convince. “I just…thought I saw something. I really think I need a nap. The nightmares have been making my sleep shitty, so I haven’t gotten much.”
Yeah. That’s it.
Make up whatever excuses you want, but you will not be able to ignore me. I am here. I am always here, the Monster whispers from the dark corners of my thoughts.
Nina bites the inside of her cheek, probably wondering if she should call me out on my bullshit. I hope she does. I want her to. I want to tell her what just happened, but I can’t make myself say it.
Because she will never believe you. You are alone.
Ice spreads over my body and I shiver.
“Okay, if you say so.” She pulls me from the ground. “Let’s go, then. I could use a nap too.” Her glacier eyes look up at me, worry tinting them, but she says nothing else about whatever just happened.
I get a good look at her. Panic seizes me.
“Nina, why is there blood on you? What the hell happened to your face?” I ask and take the fabric of her shirt in my hands. The scents tell me there is blood that isn’t hers, but whose is it? And why is her blood right under my fingers?
I gently place my hand on her cheek. Dried blood sticks to the inside of her nose and touches her lips in a few places. Her cheekbone is broken. Did she have a vision and hurt herself from falling?
The thought of her so vulnerable without me makes me nauseous.
As I heal her, my mind is racing. How did something happen to Nina without me knowing?
The shields. The fucking shields I’ve been working on to keep my secret kept her out.
“Well, Ash and I went to town to run…errands.” She glances to the ground. “Um, and we got jumped by a bunch of Poachers.”
“Oh, goddess,” I whine and cradle her face in my hands once her cheek is healed and the bruise under her eye fades. “Are you okay?”
“I think so. I’m not hurt other than my cheek.” She squints, seemingly assessing herself. “Well, okay, my head hurts a little.” She rubs the back of her head and I turn her around to look.
“You have a small gash,” I inform her, pushing away the blood-soaked white hair from her scalp. My hand heats as I heal her here too, and the gash is soon just a pink line.
“Thank you, Faligator,” she whispers when she turns around and looks up at me.
Her faraway stare is saying more than her mouth is.
Shit.
“Did you…have to use the knife?”
She bites her lip and nods, letting her gaze fall to the ground.
My lips part, letting out a sad sigh. “Oh, Nina.” I pull her into my arms, and she immediately bursts into tears. My hand rubs over her wild hair as I rock her side to side. “You’re okay. There is nothing you did wrong. I promise you, Nina,” I coo and kiss the top of her head. “You did what you had to. You came back to me and I’m so glad you did.”
She sniffs hard and rubs her head against my chest, surely getting tears and snot all over me as usual, but I don’t mind. I could have lost her, so I will always deal with her snotty tears.
“I didn’t have time to think. I just…went for it. And I know I had to. My head hit the cement so hard, I couldn’t grab at my energy. But there was just…so much...blood,” she sobs, and my fingers weave in her hair, massaging her head.
I’m sure it was terrifying for her. I wish she didn’t have to find out what killing up close was like at all, but I’m also glad she did. Now she knows what it takes to survive. What it takes to be with me.
“Does it ever get easier?” she croaks and squeezes my sides tighter.
“No,” I sigh and press my cheek against her hair. “It never gets easier. You just compartmentalize and find space to put the hurt to ignore it.”
She is quiet for a while, only sniffling occasionally. In the silence, I find myself watching the trees, waiting for them to darken and reveal her again, but everything stays mundane and empty of the Monster who jumped me minutes ago.
“Okay. I think I’m okay,” Nina mumbles and pulls away from my damp shirt.
The movement brings me back to my Mate. She sniffs a few times, wiping her nose with her wrist.
I rub my thumb under her eyes, swiping away the salty tears lingering and trying to trail down her rosy cheeks. Her eyes are bright, ice blue and red around the rims.
“Goddess, you’re beautiful,” I whisper.
She smiles a little and I let my thumb slide over her lips, wiping away the lingering dried blood.
“Do you still want to go to the band’s thing tomorrow? It would be absolutely understandable if you needed to stay home and regroup. They would all understand.”
Before I’m even done talking, she shakes her head. “No. I don’t want to miss it. I’m okay, really. I just needed to talk to you. You always make me feel better.”
I tap the bottom of her chin and tickle her with my other hand. I cackle when she flips her shit and dodge her flailing arms. “Ah, I do what I can.”
Chapter 12
Ash
Goddess, I’m going to puke.
Why the hell did I agree to be in the band? Why? I’d really prefer to be back in that alley fighting Poachers with Nina.
I can hear the crowd in the bar from my hidden place behind the stage. The full bar, that is. Everyone present is excited and the scent of too many kinds of booze floats on the air like a poison.
Actually, I could use a few of those poisons in my system right now. If only to take a bit of the edge off.
Or all the edge.
This was a mistake. I bet I could leave right now, and they would be fine. Lilith could play drums and…
“Ashy,” Eddie purrs, strutting up to me in a short-sleeved, button down, navy shirt with pink flowers sporadically placed on one side, interrupting my small spiral into nervous nausea. She’s buttoned her shirt all the way up to the collar and it hides a few of the scars on her neck. Her black pants are tight with holes in the knees, and they are tucked into black worn combat boots hiding one of her many knives. Her gray hair is parted so all of it is hanging in waves and beaded braids on one side, completely exposing the other shaved side and the scar Fal gave her over a year ago.
“Eddie,” I answer, swallowing my drool.
“You are quite fetchin’ in your outfit,” she growls and looks me up and down, possession covering her jasmine scent. She has me do a little turn, twirling her finger in a demand, and I do, not failing in the dramatics. She clicks her tongue when I meet her eyes again. “I especially like your trousers.”
I look down at myself. I’m wearing a sleeveless, black tank so my arms aren’t restricted with…red...skinny…jeans thanks to Nina. I never thought I would wear colored pants in my life.
I stretch the fabric by squatting a little and it strains like it wants to rip all down my ass.
Didn’t think I would wear pants this fucking tight, either.
I rub the back of my neck, my fingers trembling. “Thank you.” The desire in Eddie’s eyes has me blushing like a child. “I’m nervous.”
Eddie’s eyes soften in the way they only do for me, understanding and loving, and the corner of her mouth turns up in a gentle smile.
“Dinnae fash, mo chridh
e. You’re a natural. You’re gonnae be a’rite.” She reaches out and grabs my fingers before pulling me to her. Her hands find my face and she gazes up at me with those golden eyes shining. She grins wide and it is so goddamn amazing, ice runs up my back and my breath runs from my lungs.
“I’m trying. Kinda,” I admit when she raises a skeptical eyebrow. “I’m not usually anxious about being around a lot of people.”
“Then stop doubtin’ yourself, aye?”
She kisses my lips, and my anxiety slips from my mind, leaving behind a little confidence.
I’m beaming as I rub my thumb over the scar cutting through her lips and down to her chin. She playfully bites at me and I almost let her teeth graze my finger, but I’m not trying to get hot and bothered right now. I have enough going on in my head and I would rather not add hiding my…feelings…in these tight, revealing pants.
“Are you not nervous?”
“No, I used to get nervous singin’, but I gave up on it. Just nae for me.” Eddie shrugs before rubbing her hands together, leaning closer. The flashing lights from above dance in a frenzy of colors in her soft hair.
“Just gave up on it, okay,” I mock, squinting at her. “I’m glad you can just stop being nervous.”
“You can too, you ken?”
“No, I don’t ‘ken’. Please explain.”
“Just decide nae to be. Tell your brain you refuse to get nervous and dinnae let it boss you around.” She crosses her arms in front of her chest and…I find it hard to look away because the movement opens a gap between two of the buttons...
“Right. Yeah, sure.” I clear my throat and look back into her knowing, watchful stare.
“My eyes are up here, Ashy.”
“I wasn’t looking for your eyes.”
She snorts but tilts her nose in the direction of the stage quickly after. “Falen and Nina are here.”
I sniff the air. Sure enough, cinnamon and lavender vanilla. It calms me a little having their support. Even if I fuck up, they will love me still.
Well, Fal Pal will never let me forget it.
Like ever.
I’ll have to hear about it for the rest of my life.
Why did I invite her, again?
“Hey, twats!” Lilith yells from behind the stage. She taps her wrist a few times before snapping her fingers at us. “It’s go time!”
Eddie shows her middle finger and I stick my tongue out. Lilith just winks and blows us a wide-eyed kiss before bounding up on stage.
“What in the goth is she wearing?” I grumble, crossing my arms over my chest to attempt to hide the little bit of anxiety that has slipped back in.
Lilith disappeared to the back bathroom after we were done testing our instruments and warming up about an hour ago. She was wearing her typical attire, shorts, and a cropped tank top. But now…A mid-thigh length black dress with a white collar hugs her torso until it flares out at the waist and thigh high black tights and black boots adorn her legs. Her orange hair is in like…rounded pigtail balls on top of her head that make her look like she has bear ears, and her lipstick is stark black.
“Ach, I’m nae surprised. The lass has a black soul after all,” Eddie chuckles, shaking her head enough to have her hair sliding into her face.
“I heard that, you Scottish asshole!” Lilith yells from somewhere on stage.
Laughter from the crowd follows.
“Eh, don’t worry. She knows she does,” Corin tells us with that famous big smile of his as he passes, heading for the stage. He holds his wrist out to me, and I tap it with my own. “Let’s do this thing.”
As always, he is looking like a huge badass in nice, black joggers, a white Def Leopard shirt under a black leather jacket.
Eddie looks up at me, yanking on my attention. “Come on, mo chridhe. Let’s go.” She kisses me hard on my lips and takes away all my anxiety one final time.
I follow her on stage, eyes locked on my boots the whole way, and sit behind the drums, twirling the drumsticks to take my mind off the electric crowd.
Don’t think about the hundreds of people.
Don’t do it.
I spot Fal Pal and Nina right in the front when I get enough courage to look up, smiling at me. Nina even gives me a thumbs up.
I think I manage a smile in return, but I wouldn’t doubt if my mouth twisted in fear.
Eddie struts up to her spot in the front, confidence radiating off her skin as she smiles at the people in the crowd. She pulls her guitar from its stand and swings the strap over her shoulder in one fluid motion, so swift it’s as if she’s a famous rock star.
“Here we go,” I grumble to myself and try my best to get in the zone.
Chapter 13
Nina
“Wow, this is more intense than I thought it would be,” I murmur as I follow Fal through the crowd. I want us to stand right in front of the stage. To support all my friends, obviously. But I’m also super short. “I guess Lilith does know how to advertise.”
People are everywhere, drinks in their hands and anticipation shocking the energy around us, but they back away quickly when Fal gives them one of her looks, so we move easily through the tons of bodies, my hand securely in Fal’s.
“Look!” I yell when we get to the edge of the stage.
“I’m not surprised,” Fal laughs, hand moving to the small of my back.
Lilith looks…well…like Wednesday Adams. She waves when she sees us, white teeth stark against the black lipstick, and I wave back while Fal does some odd hand gesture like a peace sign, but also a wave. Lilith copies her in return, brow raising.
Do they…have a special greeting?
Oh my god, I never thought Fal of all people would…
I smile up at her, pride beaming in my energy. She’s getting so good at socializing. It’s freaking adorable.
When I look back at the stage, Lil’s lips turn down and she looks somewhere I can’t see.
“I heard that, you Scottish asshole!”
Fal snorts before nudging me in front of her.
Corin jumps up on the stage next with that grin he so famously dons and Fal whistles with two of her fingers pressed to her lips. He sees us and does a little prance, swinging his hips very dramatically, before blowing Fal a kiss and batting his eyelashes.
“Cute,” I giggle.
Him and Lilith both look fantastic.
“Where are Ash and Eddie?” I ask, looking around to make sure I didn’t somehow miss Ash’s big self. I wonder if he wore those jeans. When I made him come out of the dressing room yesterday, he was waddling.
I told him they weren’t that tight.
All he did was scrunch up his face and waddle back in the small stall.
“Eddie is definitely healing away Ash’s nerves. He’s probably been a wreck all day,” Fal whispers to me, lips brushing against my ear.
And sure enough, they come on the stage together. Eddie gets her guitar while Ash twirls his drumsticks when he plops behind the drums. I give Ash an encouraging thumbs up when I catch his eye, and he manages to return a smile that almost doesn’t look like he has a cactus up his butt.
Or maybe that’s the pants. He did decide to wear them.
“What are those pants?” Fal asks with eyes on my face, grinning up at Ash after.
I press my lips together. “Well…”
“How the hell did he even get them on?” she continues, brows arching over her wide eyes.
“It’s actually…” I try.
“He’s going to rip them, isn’t he?” she asks, crossing her arms over her chest. “They are going to rip all down his ass when he finally stands up and I want my phone ready to take a picture.”
“Fal!” I spit out, stopping some other comment from coming out of her mouth.
She looks down at me with a brow raised and a smirk. “You did this, didn’t you?”
I raise my chin and slowly blink. “Yes. And how do you know I didn’t get you matching pants?”
A
small gasp slips between her lips, smirk quickly falling into an open mouth of horror. “Nina.”
I just shrug and turn my attention back to the stage, biting my lip to keep from grinning. I didn’t get her any pants, but she doesn’t need to know that.
Her energy is pulsing between fear and doubt as she moves closer. I swallow down my cackle.
Eddie sees us and winks before smiling to the crowd. Her energy pulses through the room. It’s bright and excited yellow, even electric when it brushes over me.
“What’s up, Athens?” she asks into the microphone, pushing her flowy hair behind her ear.
The crowd goes wild. Including me. I clap and whoop, excited to see them kickass in something other than Lupi-ness. Fal whistles again, loud and shrill.
I’ll have to ask her to teach me how to do that.
“We are The Wølf PΛck. I’m Eddie, singer and guitarist,” she says, pointing to herself. “The big smiley bastart over there is Corin on lead guitar.” Corin smiles while shaking his head and plays a tiny example of his mad skills. I’m impressed his big fingers can move so fast. “The demented, ginger goblin over here on bass is Lilith.” Lilith wiggles her brows and slaps a few strings on her bright purple bass before waving with her fingers. “And the sexy one back here on the drums is Ash.” His face reddens before he does a small, impressive drum solo. “Now, are you all ready to get this shite goin’?”
The crowd, once again, goes wild and I bounce on my toes while Fal claps loud, a huge smile on her face. She’s proud of Ash. It’s freaking adorable.
“A’rite, a’rite, let’s get this party started,” Eddie demands into the mic and Ash hits his drumsticks three times before Corin strikes a spine-chilling chord on his guitar.
His fingers fly across the strings and he sticks his tongue out a little between his teeth, deep in concentration. Lilith thumps the strings of her bass, setting the rhythm for everyone else, and Ash beats away at the drums.
“If we start breakin’ in the center, I won’t let it shake,
Won’t let it part from my heart, won’t make that mistake.