by Lynne Graham
“I was a fool to believe that you would…” He moved away, his face set in tense lines, his mouth pinched.
As if she had truly betrayed him.
Suddenly, she felt as if she’d been given a painful insight into his thoughts.
Was that what Vincenzo expected of her? That she would betray him, abandon him at some point? That she would simply choose to walk away from all this?
But instead of feeling anger that he should trust her so little, Alex realized something else. This wasn’t about his trust in her, this was about his own inability to trust. These were the scars left by a painful childhood where he hadn’t had anyone to depend on. Anyone in his corner.
Her tone softened. “What Antonio wants for you is not healthy. So of course he’ll paint this as some kind of deception on my part.”
“I’m not discussing this with you.”
“So don’t,” she said, suddenly angry herself. “We will add it to the list of things I’m not allowed to mention if I want to keep the delicate boat of our marriage from capsizing.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I’m not allowed to even ask you about your mother. I’m not allowed to be a part of Leo’s and Massimo’s lives, men I consider family. And I’ve made my peace with all that. To be with you.
“I did them one small favor in return for the hundreds they’ve bestowed on me. I’m tired of you constantly questioning my loyalty.”
He sat down on the bed, his head in his hands, a deep sigh rolling out of him. He looked as though he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. And maybe he had carried it all this time. But things were different now. Changing.
And Alex was damned if she’d let him shoulder this alone anymore.
“Give me a chance to explain, V.”
“Why did you tell them?”
“Because they deserved to know that their father’s actions still had serious consequences, such far-reaching potential for destruction. Because I wanted to show you that you don’t have to carry this burden alone. The burden of righting all the wrongs Silvio did, of bringing justice to those who can’t fight for themselves.”
He pulled her to him then, with a half-swallowed growl that sounded like a feral animal fighting for its last breath, and her heart thudded painfully in her breast. His face buried in her chest, his arms clung around her waist.
She sank her fingers into his crisp hair. “Leo’s about to become a father to two children. Imagine you and I having a child and someone out there wishing our family so much ill will as these people do…” She shuddered and his arms tightened around her.
“How is it that you keep unraveling me?” he asked.
She looked down and their eyes held. Fused with a connection that they hadn’t been able to deny from that first moment. The connection he wanted but not the force of emotion that strengthened it. The compromise and change it constantly asked of him, even the sacrifice it sometimes demanded.
“I’ve already decided not to demolish the villa,” he said, and the small flicker of hope turned into a full-blown flame in her body. “But—”
She didn’t want to hear any more. Pressing her finger to his mouth, she shimmied out of the flimsy robe and stood naked in front of him. Their kiss was a conflagration of desire and hope and such emotion that her heart stuttered in her chest.
His mouth was hard, rough; his kiss desperate, intense, a hard taking instead of giving. A demand for everything she could give.
She could sense it in the hunger in his eyes. In the tense jut of his muscles. But this wasn’t pure lust. This was him reaching out to her when the ground was shifting beneath him. He palmed her breasts, pinched her nipples as she pulled his shirt out of his trousers with a fervent need. Tugged the zipper down and sneaked her hand inside.
His hips thrust against her hand as she molded the hard length of him. “I want to be inside you, now, bella.”
“Yes, please,” she whispered back. “Now.”
Their mouths clung to each other as he shucked off the rest of his clothes.
A soft moan left her mouth as her body settled against his—breast to chest, thigh to thigh, his abdominal muscles a hard slab of heat against hers. Wrapping her legs around him, she threw her head back and moaned.
And then he was inside her, her back against the wall, her front a delicious slide against all his muscles. But he didn’t move inside her. Just held her like that, where she could feel him all over her body. His heart thudding against hers.
“We will live in that house, bella. You, me, our family. That’s the only way I won’t ruin it.”
“But—”
“My wedding gift to you, cara mia. It’s your choice now.”
But he didn’t wait for her answer. He started moving and her eyes rolled back.
Another searing kiss that swallowed not only her protest but her very breath. But she had no real protest anyway. She would take the little he gave her. He had changed for her. Because of her.
One corded arm rested near her head as he pulled out with a grunt and thrust back in. His teeth in the juncture of her neck kept that small edge to the waves of sensation building inside her, amplifying their sweetness in contrast.
With each upward jerk of his hips, she was pushed up and against the wall. With each wicked twist of his hips, sensation swelled and swirled downward. His face was savage in his utter lack of control. But even in the wake of such hunger, he didn’t forget about her. Every upward thrust rubbed her in just the right place. When he tugged her nipple into his mouth, Alex fragmented. And he followed.
Alex held him as he released into her with a feral growl.
The words rose to her lips, desperate to be set free. The emotion in her chest taking the space of everything else. Rumbling like a volcano about to explode.
Instead, Alex buried her own teeth in the taut curve of his shoulder and swallowed away the words. Words never meant much to her anyway.
He’d shown her in actions that he cared about her. Which gave her hope. And hope was more than enough right now.
* * *
It was a long time later, tucked into the crook of his arm, his body a warm embrace, that Alex said, “What did Leo and Massimo do that angered Antonio so much? You never told me.”
She’d expected him to shut her down; instead he only sighed. The darkness helped, she knew. And it wasn’t just that. She’d seen something in him earlier. A shift. A change. A vulnerability that made her throat ache. And everything in her wanted to embrace that hope. Cling to it like she’d never done anything else before.
His fingers spread over her throat, his words a harsh whisper in the silence. “They offered financial reparation to the families of those that were cheated, crushed by their father. Training, jobs, even stock options in BFI.”
Alex’s heart lightened. Her trust in them was once again totally vindicated. She tempered her joy, sensing the tension in his powerful body. “But this is good, isn’t it?”
“Is it? They’re buying forgiveness, cara, don’t you see?” But there was no heat in his tone. Resignation. Even acceptance maybe, she thought with more hope burgeoning inside her chest. “Which is why Antonio refused to even touch anything they offered.”
“They don’t need forgiveness. They didn’t even need to redress Silvio’s sins. But they’ve done it because they have a strong sense of right and wrong.” She held his gaze in the darkness, saw the flicker of anger tamp down. He looked away, but Alex caught his expression before that. And suddenly she got it. “You’re shocked that they’re not the monsters you believed them to be for so long. That they’re truly honorable men. Good men. It’s not too late, V. If you just stretch your—”
“Not this again, Alessandra,” he cut in harshly.
“Didn’t this whole thing start as helping those who couldn’t help themselv
es? To right the wrongs that Silvio Brunetti perpetrated? Or does it matter more that you have to be their savior than that they be saved at all?”
Vincenzo stilled, Alessandra’s words piercing him like a thousand little cuts, stripping away the anger and bitterness he’d nursed for so many years. He wanted to yell at her to stop, to leave him be. To cease digging into him. Because if she stripped him bare of his need for revenge, his thirst for justice, if she took away this fight that had consumed his adult life, what would she find?
If he gave up his quest to take over BFI, what was left in him? Of him?
He’d meticulously planned and executed each and every move, and there was no way back from that. No way out from the hole he’d buried his heart in.
If he stopped now, how could he face the kind of man he’d become? How could he come back from that? How could he open himself up, make himself completely vulnerable at this late stage?
Because that anger, and bitterness, his ambition and his quest for revenge, he was fast realizing were his armor. Armor against hope and vulnerability.
Armor against the crippling knowledge that he had become a man who didn’t deserve the woman lying next to him.
Armor against turning into a man who desperately needed love but didn’t know how to give or receive it.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
ALEX STOOD IN front of the marble vanity a few days after they’d arrived back from New York and stared at her naked body in the steam fogged mirror. Something was different. Strange. She ran her fingers over her belly, and then up toward her breasts and cupped them. They felt achy and heavy, just as her entire body did.
Was all the stress of the past few months finally catching up with her? Or was it something else entirely?
No. It couldn’t be. She had been on the pill the entire time—even before she’d met Vincenzo in Bali. After those first few nights together, after they’d been married, they’d stopped using condoms.
She wished she could talk to someone. But Greta was gone. As were the rest of them. All of them. This villa was their home now. Hers and Vincenzo’s.
And it would be Charlie’s, once they’d won custody of him.
And, she was suddenly quite sure, it would be this baby’s too.
She kept her palm on her belly, waiting for panic to set in. For the mother of all freak-outs.
It didn’t come.
Instead, total calm filled her. Even as she was aware that, right at this moment, Vincenzo and Leo and Massimo and Greta were all at the BFI towers in Milan for an emergency board meeting that Vincenzo had called.
He was almost there at the finish line, she knew.
There would be a vote of no confidence against Leo, and she also knew that Vincenzo had control of the majority. That he would be voted CEO of Brunetti Finances Inc. any minute now.
For all that she hated to see Greta and Leo and Massimo leave this villa, this war Vincenzo had waged for so long would finally be done with now. And they didn’t hate her, or him.
Vincenzo would have achieved his goal. He would be finished. And their life could begin. Once they were a family, once he had everything he wanted—Charlie and her and this baby, maybe he would even finally open himself up to understanding what the Brunettis meant to her.
If Leo and Massimo could let his actions go, couldn’t Vincenzo be convinced to let the past go? If he could do that, he would be free. His heart would be free.
Alex smiled at her reflection. Anything was possible. And that hope was a powerful thing inside her.
* * *
Vincenzo went in search of his wife upstairs in the villa, a sense of inexplicable dread descending on him.
All of Milan’s financial society was downstairs and out in the gardens, celebrating his victory. Lauding him. Courting his favor. Already catering to him.
He had soundly defeated Leonardo at the vote of no confidence. But of course, he would have enjoyed it so much more if Alex hadn’t disappeared after barely showing her face. Both when he’d returned from the board meeting earlier and tonight at the party.
Any irritation he felt died down as he walked into the terrace and found her looking out at the garden and the lake. The magnificent view did nothing to dim her beauty.
She turned and he drank her in. The soft pink evening gown draped over her curves, highlighting the lithe body. Her beautiful hair flew in the breeze, the diamond choker he’d bought her yesterday glittering at her neck.
And yet, one look at her pinched face told him that for all her standing by him as the perfect wife, she was less than happy.
No, she was miserable.
But it wasn’t just physical exhaustion. The vitality that had struck him like lightning on their first meeting, the joy he’d seen on the day of their impromptu wedding was nowhere to be seen.
Guilt nagged at him like a persistently sharp shard of glass stuck in his skin. He hated having to admit that he was responsible for that haunted look in her eyes. For the first time in his life, he had an emotional obligation to another person and he was fast failing in keeping it.
“Are you happy now?” she asked.
He shrugged, wary of the bite to her tone. “Alessandra, I want to celebrate tonight. I want to take you to bed, bella. Not have a down-and-dirty fight. Not again.”
She nodded, and it was as if there was a brittle wall around her. “I wanted to celebrate your victory with you tonight too. I even thought of it as freedom, you know. Freedom from the shackles you’ve bound yourself with. Freedom from the past.
“So that you could be mine. Only mine.”
“I am yours, bella. I’ve told you that before.”
“Only under your conditions, V. I see that now. And still, I was happy. For you. I wanted to go to bed with you, to be held by you while I told you the most glorious news that I’ve been dying to share all day. I wanted to…” A silent tear rolled down her cheek. “I wanted so much. Everything. It was all in my grasp.”
He walked to her, that sense of dread building inside his chest, choking off his breath. “Alessandra, you knew this was going to happen, bella.”
“I knew it. I begged Leo and Massimo to forgive you. I told them about your mother, about how much you’ve been through. I made my peace with the fact that you’re who you are and that despite it all I…I loved you. So much, V. I love you more than anything else in the world. And that’s why this hurts so much.” She rubbed a hand over her chest and gasped for a breath. “It feels like my heart is breaking all over again.”
Her words were like punches coming at him, stealing his breath. She loved him. Cristo, she loved him. It rang through his body like a peal of painful truth. Like the ground was shifting beneath him and he didn’t know what to grasp for an anchor.
“Alessandra—”
She jerked away from him. “I always thought I would be able to save Leo and Massimo and Greta from you. I thought… But they didn’t need saving. Even after you took the CEO position from Leonardo, even after you took this house, their home from them, they’re fine. You’re the one who’s lost everything that matters. You’re the one who needs saving.”
He felt as if she’d slapped him. “I don’t need saving.”
She went on, as if he hadn’t spoken. “But that’s the most important thing I’ve learned in the last few months.
“No one else can save us, can they? However much I want to, I can’t save you. From yourself of all things. We have to do it ourselves. We have to want to be saved. The only hope is that someone we love, who loves us, will stand by us while we do it.
“Someone who believes in us even when we don’t. When we’re so blinded by fear that…we can’t see a way forward.”
She clasped his cheek, tears pouring down her own. “You did that for me. You made me realize I should stay and fight. You made me…” She buried her face in his throat, and h
er tears drenched him. Seared his bare skin. The weight of her love for him burned him.
He wanted to pull her close and hold her. But he couldn’t. Not when he himself felt as if he were drowning. “Alessandra, just tell me what’s happened. Tell me—”
“You know, you were right when you said I didn’t understand the magnitude of the consequences Greta wreaked on you that day. I didn’t truly comprehend the depth of pain you must have felt every time you saw her. To have all this and not even be able to tell your mother that…”
“Alessandra! You knew all this when you made your choice, bella. What has changed?”
She tilted her head up, her gaze crystal clear. Her palm went to her belly and she held it there. “Discovering that I’m pregnant.”
Another punch. Another blinding hit. Vincenzo couldn’t speak for several seconds. His gaze went to her hand on her belly and to her eyes that glowed with conviction. “You’re…pregnant?” He pushed his hand through his hair. “When—”
“Yeah. Can you believe it? I was all set to freak out. But when I saw the test come back positive… I was actually giddy. You and I created this life. I thought this was the universe’s way of giving me what I wanted. A family. A child to love created with the man I adore. I had everything I wanted.”
“Alex, if this is good news, why are you crying?”
“I was overjoyed. I decided magnanimously that I would forgive Greta for what she’d done to you. I…called her. I could tell something was seriously wrong and I made her tell me how you threatened her and that my happiness was the price she had to pay. Her love for me and my love for you was your currency. Do you even realize how wrong that is? Do you—?”
“Alessandra, listen to me. Today’s win at BFI—”
“No! I’ve listened to you enough. I can’t do it anymore, V. You know why?” She wiped her cheeks angrily. “Because the last shred of hope I had that we could salvage this marriage is gone. Whatever you say now, you can’t bring it back.” Fury shone in her beautiful eyes, radiated from her body.
“You promised me you’d never use me against them. You said you’d keep me out of this infernal war you’ve been waging and you broke your word. You used Leo’s and Massimo’s guilt for what other people did to you to drive them out of here.