by Lynne Graham
He deepened the kiss even further, his hand going beneath her top and bra to cup her skin on skin. The warmth of his palm and the possessive weight of his fingers sent her pulse soaring. He stroked her nipple into a tight bud of exquisite sensations, powerful sensations for such a small area of her body. He lifted his mouth off hers and lowered his lips to her breast, his tongue swirling over her engorged nipple, his teeth gently tugging and releasing in a passionate onslaught that made her gasp with delight.
The sound of Luca’s phone ringing from inside his trouser pocket evoked a curt swear word from him as he lifted his mouth off her breast. ‘I’d better get this. It’s the ringtone I set up for Nonno’s carer.’ He pulled out his phone and took the call, a frown pulling at his forehead.
Artie rearranged her clothes and tried not to eavesdrop but it was impossible not to get the gist of the conversation. His grandfather had suffered a fall and was being taken to hospital with a suspected broken hip. Luca ended the call after reassuring his grandfather’s carer he would leave for the hospital straight away.
He slipped the phone back in his pocket and gave Artie a grave look. ‘You heard most of that?’
Artie placed her hand on his forearm. ‘I’m so sorry. Is he going to be okay?’
He shrugged one shoulder, the almost casual action at odds with the dark shadows in his eyes. ‘Who knows? Nonno is eighty-three. A broken hip is a big deal for someone of that age.’ He released a breath and continued. ‘I’m going to the hospital now. I want to speak to the orthopaedic surgeon. I want to make sure Nonno gets the very best of care.’ He held her gaze for a moment. ‘This might be your only chance to meet him.’ His voice was husky with carefully contained emotion but she could sense the effort it took. His jaw was locked tight, his nostrils flaring as he fought to control his breathing.
Artie’s throat tightened. ‘I wish I could go with you, Luca. I really do.’
He gave a movement of his lips that wasn’t quite a smile. He reached for her hand and gave it a gentle press. ‘I’ll be back as soon as I can.’
‘Please send my best wishes for a speedy recovery.’ Artie knew the words were little more than useless platitudes when all Luca wanted was her by his side. She was never more aware of letting down her side of the bargain. Letting him down. It pained her she was unable to harness her fear for his sake.
She watched as he drove away, her heart feeling as if it was torn in two. It felt wrong not to be with him—wrong in a way she hadn’t expected to feel. As if part of her was missing now he was gone. The castello had never been more of a prison, her fear never more of a burden. Why couldn’t she feel the fear and do it anyway? Was she to be imprisoned within these walls for the rest of her life? Luca needed her and she wasn’t able to be with him, and yet she wanted nothing more than to be by his side.
She wanted to be with him because she loved him.
Artie could no longer suppress or deny her feelings about him. She had fallen in love with him in spite of his rules, in spite of her own efforts to keep her heart out of their arrangement. But her heart had been in it from the moment Luca kissed her. He had awoken her out of a psychological coma, inspiring her to live life in a full and vibrant way. How could she let him down now when he needed her? How could she not fight through her fears for him?
Rosa came out to join her, shading her eyes from the blinding sunshine. ‘Do you know when he’ll be back?’
Artie gave a despondent sigh. ‘No. I feel so bad I wasn’t able to go with him. What sort of wife am I that I can’t even be by my husband’s side when he needs me most?’
Rosa gave her a thoughtful look. ‘I guess you have to measure up which thing is bigger—your fear of leaving here or your fear of not being there for him.’
Artie bit her lip, struggling to hold back a tumult of negative emotion. Her sense of failure, her lack of courage, her inability to overcome her phobia.
You’re hopeless. A failure. An embarrassment.
Her harsh internal critic rained down abuse until she wanted to curl up into a tiny ball and hide away. But hiding never solved anything, did it? She had hidden here for ten years and nothing had changed.
And yet…something had changed. Luca had changed her. Awakening her to feelings and sensations she hadn’t thought possible a few days ago. Feelings she could no longer hide from—feelings that were not part of Luca’s rules but she felt them anyway. How could she not? He was the light to her darkness, the healing salve to her psychological wound, the promise of a life outside these cold stone walls. He was her gateway to the outside world, the world that had frightened and terrified her so much because she didn’t trust it to keep her safe.
But she trusted Luca.
She had trusted him with her body, giving herself to him, responding to him with a powerful passion she could still feel in her most intimate flesh. Her love for him was bigger than her fear. Much bigger. That was what she would cling to as she stared down her demons. She had the will, she had the motivation, she had her love for him to empower her in a way nothing had been able to before. Luca was outside her prison walls, and the only way she could be with him in his hour of need was to leave the castello, propelled, empowered, galvanised by the love she felt for him.
Love was supposed to conquer all.
She would damn well prove it.
CHAPTER NINE
LUCA GOT TO the hospital in time to speak to his grandfather before he was taken for surgery. Nonno looked ashen and there was a large purple and black bruise on his face as well as his wrist and elbow where he had tried to break his fall. Luca took the old man’s papery hand and tried to reassure him. ‘I’ll be here when you come out of theatre. Try not to worry.’
Nonno grimaced in pain and his eyes watered. ‘When am I going to meet this new wife of yours? You’d better hurry up and bring her to me before I fall off my perch.’
‘Soon,’ Luca said, hoping it was true. ‘When you’re feeling better. You don’t want to scare her off with all those bruises, do you?’
A wry smile played with the corners of Nonno’s mouth. ‘It’s good that you’ve settled down, Luca. I’ve been worried about you since…well, for a long time now.’
‘I know you have.’ Luca patted his grandfather’s hand, his chest tightening as if it were in a vice. ‘I was waiting for the right one to come along. Just like you did with Nonna.’
The strange thing was, Artie did feel right. Right in so many ways. He couldn’t imagine making love to anyone else, which was kind of weird, given there was a time limit on their relationship. A six-month time limit he insisted on because no way was he interested in being in for the long haul. Not with his track record of destroying people’s lives.
‘Your grandmother was a wonderful woman,’ Nonno said, with a wistful look on his weathered features. ‘I miss her every day.’
‘I know you do, Nonno. I miss Nonna too.’
Another good reason not to love someone—the pain of losing them wrecked your life, leaving you alone and heartsore for years on end. If that wasn’t a form of torture, what was? None Luca wanted any part of, not if he could help it.
He was already missing Artie, and he’d only been away from her the couple of hours it took to drive to the hospital. He’d wanted her to come with him to meet his grandfather but that wasn’t the only reason. He genuinely enjoyed being with her, which was another new experience for him. The women he’d dated in the past were nice enough people, but no one had made him feel the way Artie did.
Making love with her had been like making love for the first time, discovering things about his body as well as hers. Being tuned in to his body in a totally different way, as if his response settings had been changed, ramped up, intensified, so he would want no one other than her. No one else could trigger the same need and drive. No one else would satisfy him the way she did. He ached for her now. What he would give to see
her smile, to feel her hand slide into his and her body nestle against him.
His grandfather turned his head to lock gazes with Luca. ‘I’ve been hard on you, Luca, over the years. I see it now when it’s too late to do anything about it. I’ve expected a lot of you. You had to grow up too fast after your father and Angelo died.’ He sighed and continued. ‘You’ve worked hard, too hard really, but I know your father would be proud of your achievements. You’ve carried on his legacy and turned Ferrantelli Enterprises into a massive success.’ He gave a tired smile. ‘I’ve only ever wanted you to be happy. Success is good, but personal fulfilment is what life is really about.’
The hospital orderly arrived at that point to take Nonno down to the operating theatre.
Luca grasped his grandfather’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. ‘Try and get well again, Nonno. I’ll be waiting here for you when you come back.’
Once his grandfather had been wheeled out of the room, Luca leaned back in the visitors’ chair in his grandfather’s private room and stretched out his legs and closed his eyes. Hospitals stirred emotions in him he didn’t want to feel. It was a trigger response to tragedy. Being surrounded by death and disease and uncertainty caused an existential crisis in even the most level-headed of people. Being reminded of a loved one’s mortality and your own. It would be a long wait until Nonno came out of theatre and then recovery but he wanted to be here when his grandfather came back. His gut churned and his heart squeezed and his breath caught.
If he came back…
* * *
Artie put her small overnight case in the back of Rosa’s car and pressed the button to close the boot. She took a deep breath and mentally counted to three on releasing it. She came around to the passenger side and took another breath. ‘Okay. I can do this.’
I have to do this. For Luca. For myself. For his grandfather.
She got in the car and pulled the seatbelt into place, her heart pounding, her skin prickling with beads of perspiration.
Rosa started the engine and shifted the gearstick into ‘drive’. ‘Are you sure about this?’
Artie nodded with grim determination. ‘I’m sure. It won’t be easy but I want to be with Luca. I need to be with him.’
Rosa drove towards the bronze gates, which opened automatically because of the sensors set on either side of the crushed limestone driveway. Artie concentrated on her breathing, trying to ignore the fear that was like thousands of sticky-footed ants crawling over her skin. Her chest was tight, her heart hammering like some sort of malfunctioning construction machinery, but she was okay…well, a little bit okay.
Rosa flicked a worried glance her way. ‘How are you doing?’
Artie gripped the strap of the seatbelt that crossed her chest. Her stomach had ditched the butterflies and recruited bats instead. Frantically flapping bats. ‘So far, so good. Keep going. We’re nearly outside.’
They drove the rest of the way out of the gates and Artie held her breath, anticipating a crippling flood of panic. But instead of the silent screams of terror inside her head, she heard Luca’s calm, deep voice, coaching her through the waves of dread.
‘Breathe, cara. One. Two. Three.’
It wasn’t the first time someone had taught her breath control—two of the therapists had done so with minimal results. But for some reason Luca’s voice was the one she listened to now. It gave her the courage to go further than she had gone in over a decade. Out through the castello gates and into the outside world.
Artie looked at Rosa and laughed. ‘I did it! I’m out!’
Rosa blinked away tears. ‘Sì, you’re out.’
Artie wished she could say the rest of the journey was easy. It was not. They had to stop so many times for her to get control of her panic. The nausea at one stage was so bad she thought she was going to vomit. She distracted herself with the sights and sounds along the way. Looking at views she never thought she would see again—the rolling, verdant fields, the lush forests and the mountains, the vineyards and orchards and olive groves of Umbria. Scenes from her childhood, places she had travelled past with her parents. The memories were happy and sad, poignant and painful, and yet also gave her a sense of closure. It was time to move on. Luca had given her the tools and the motivation to change her thinking, to shift her focus. And the further away from the castello they got, the easier it became, because she knew she was getting closer to Luca.
But then they came to the hospital.
Artie had forgotten about the hospital. Hospitals. Busyness. Crowds. People rushing about. Patients, staff, cleaners, security personnel. The dead, the dying and the injured. A vision of her mother’s lifeless, bruised and broken body flashed into her brain. A vision of her father in the Critical Care Spinal Unit, his shattered spine no longer able to keep him upright.
Her fault. Her fault. Her fault.
She had destroyed her family.
Artie gripped the edges of her seat, her heart threatening to pound its way out of her chest. ‘I can’t go in there. I can’t.’
Rosa parked the car in the visitor’s parking area and turned off the engine. ‘You’ve come this far.’
‘It was a mistake.’ Artie closed her eyes so she didn’t have to look at the front entrance. ‘I can’t do this. I’m not ready.’
I will never be ready.
‘What if I call Luca to come out and get you?’
Artie opened her eyes and took a deep breath and slowly released it. Luca was inside that building. She was only a few metres away from him. She had come this far, further than she had in ten years. All she had to do was get to Luca. ‘No. I’m not giving up now. I want to be with Luca more than anything. But I need to do this last bit on my own. You can go home and I’ll talk to you in a few days once we know what’s happening with Luca’s grandfather.’ She released her tight grip on the car seat and smoothed her damp palms down her thighs. ‘I’m ready. I’m going in. Wish me luck?’
Rosa smiled and brushed some tears away from her eyes with the back of her hand. ‘You’ve got this.’
* * *
Luca opened his eyes when he heard the door of his grandfather’s room open, but instead of seeing a nurse come in he saw Artie. For a moment he thought he was dreaming. He blinked and blinked again then sprang out of the chair, taking her by the arms to make sure she was actually real and not a figment of his imagination. ‘Cara? How did you get here? I can barely believe my eyes.’
She smiled, her eyes bright, her cheeks flushed pink. ‘Rosa brought me. I wanted to be with you. I forced myself to get here. I can’t say it was easy. It was awful, actually. But I kept doing the slow breathing thing and somehow I made it.’
Luca gathered her close to his chest, breathing in the flowery scent of her hair where it tickled his chin. He was overcome with emotion, thinking about the effort it must have cost her to stare down her fears.
For him?
Fears she had lived with for ten years and she had pushed through them to get to his side. To be with him while he faced the very real possibility of losing his grandfather. He wasn’t sure how it made him feel…awed, honoured, touched in a way he had rarely been touched. He was used to having entirely transactional relationships with people. He took what he wanted and they did too.
But Artie had given him something no one had ever done before—her complete trust.
‘You were very brave, mia piccola. It’s so good to have you here.’ He held her apart from him to smile down at her, a locked space inside his chest flaring open. ‘I still can’t believe it.’ He brushed his bent knuckles down her cheek. ‘Nonno will be so pleased to meet you.’
Her forehead creased in concern. ‘How is he? Did you get to speak to him before—?’
‘Yes, he’s in Theatre, or maybe in Recovery by now.’ Luca took both of her hands in his. ‘I’ve missed you.’
‘I’ve missed y
ou too.’ Her voice whisper-soft, her gaze luminous.
He released her hands and gathered her close again, lowering his mouth to hers in a kiss that sent scorching streaks of heat shooting through his body. She pressed herself closer, her mouth opening to the probe of his tongue. Tingles went down the backs of his legs, blood thundered to his groin, rampant need pounding in his system. Her lips tasted of strawberries and milk with a touch of cinnamon, her little gasps of delight sweet music to his ears and fuel for his desire. A desire that burned and boiled and blistered with incendiary heat right throughout his body in pummelling waves. How could one kiss do so much damage? Light such a fire in his flesh?
Because it was her kiss.
Her mouth.
Her.
Luca lifted his mouth off hers to look down at her flushed features and shimmering eyes. ‘If we weren’t in my grandfather’s hospital room, I would show you just how much I’ve missed you right here and now.’
Her cheeks went a delightful shade of pink. ‘I’ve sent Rosa back home. It’s okay for me to stay with you, isn’t it?’
Luca smiled. ‘I can think of nothing I’d like more. My villa is only half an hour from here.’
She stroked his face with her fingers, sending darts of pleasure through his body. ‘Thank you for helping me move past my fear. I know it’s still early days, and I know I’ll probably have lots of setbacks, but I feel like I’m finally moving in the right direction.’
Luca tucked a loose strand of her hair back behind her ear, feeling like someone had spilled warm honey into his chest cavity. ‘I’m so proud of you right now. The first steps are always the hardest in any difficult journey.’