She was breathing hard and felt gloriously, wonderfully alive. After two weeks of hopelessness, at last she had something she could grasp and hold. As long as York loved her, she had a fighting chance, and until this minute she hadn’t been sure he did care for her. She was too accustomed to dreams that hadn’t come true to believe this most important one of her life had a chance of becoming a reality. Now she knew he did love her. They had a chance, and she’d be damned if she’d let it slip away. Canopy beds were one thing; York Delaney was something else entirely.
Why was he so certain they couldn’t have a life together? she wondered. He was unshakably rigid in the belief that someday he’d wander off and leave her; he would let nothing pierce the fabric of that belief. There had to be some way she could convince him, but to do it she had to understand his thinking.
She slowly turned and sat down on the wooden swing. She leaned back, her gaze on the colorful town of Hell’s Bluff, a town isolated from time. York’s town. She heard again that faint ringing of memory. There was something there, if she could only reach out and touch it. This time, instead of dismissing the vague memory, she concentrated on trying to understand it.
Hell’s Bluff. My kind of town, York had said. A boom town. Here today. Gone tomorrow. Like me.
That was it! She jerked up straight. It was so clear. Why hadn’t she been able to put the pieces of the puzzle together before? She had been handed enough clues by Deuce and Kathleen, and even by York himself.
She jumped up from the swing and ran into the house. “Deuce!” she called as she tore up the stairs.
Deuce came out of the kitchen into the hall. He looked up at her, then glanced down at the full cup of coffee he was carrying. “Talk about narrow escapes,” he said. He set the cup and saucer down on the oval table in the foyer. “What can I do for you?”
She stopped on the landing. “Can you arrange for another helicopter right away? I have to go somewhere.”
His expression became wary. “We made a deal, Sierra.”
“I’m not running away. In fact, I want you to come with me. Can you arrange for the helicopter?”
He nodded slowly. “It will take an hour or two to have one flown out from Tucson. Is that soon enough?”
She nodded. “That will be fine. Thanks, Deuce.”
“May I ask where we’re going?”
She glanced up at the portrait of Rising Star on the wall beside her. Was there the faintest hint of a smile on the Apache woman’s lips? “Where it all started,” she said softly. “Killara.”
Ten
Deuce watched York cleaving through the water, his arms churning like the explosive arms of a steam engine. The white foam he was leaving in his wake was also reminiscent of steam, Deuce thought as he picked his way carefully across the wet tiles to the spot he estimated York’s head would surface. He knew what York’s reaction was going to be when he saw him and unconsciously braced himself. He wasn’t disappointed.
“What the hell are you doing here?” York asked, frowning. He levered himself out of the pool and sat on its edge in one smooth movement. “I told you to stay with Sierra.”
“So you did.” Deuce tossed him a towel and squatted down beside him. “However, Sierra had a different idea. She sent me to you. Some time ago actually. I’ve been wandering around this bloody office building you call Delaney Tower for over an hour trying to find you. I went to the executive offices first and heard all about the crisis the three of you went through today. Then I tried the penthouse, but you weren’t there. I went to the restaurant, and then I thought to try the gym.” His lips thinned with annoyance. “You could have told someone where you’d gone. I’m not a bloodhound, you know. I don’t—”
“Knock it off, Deuce,” York said wearily as he began to dry his hair. “Believe me, I’ve had enough stress today without you picking at me.”
“What really happened here? Police and—”
York held up his hand to stop him. “I’ll tell you about it later. It was bad enough to go through that hell without having to describe it to all and sundry. You’ve found me. Now what’s the message from Sierra?”
“Well, it’s not exactly a message. It’s more on the order of a summons.”
York’s hand froze in midmotion and his eyes darkened in concern. “What the hell do you mean, a summons? What’s wrong with her? Is she sick again?”
“Easy. Don’t go off in a tizzy. I didn’t say she was sick.” Deuce’s gaze slid away from York to rest pensively on the high board at the far end of the pool. “Of course, I didn’t say she wasn’t, did I?”
“Dammit, Deuce. Stop playing games,” York said between clenched teeth. “If you don’t tell me why she wants me to come back to Hell’s Bluff, I’m going to toss you into this pool.”
“But she’s not at Hell’s Bluff. She left not long after you did.”
Shock seemed to wrench his body as pain flooded through his entire being. He supposed he should have expected her to bolt after that last scene before he had left her. He had been in such an emotional maelstrom, he hadn’t been able to think clearly. Thank heavens she hadn’t disappeared entirely as he’d immediately feared. Deuce knew where she was. He was barely able to get the word past the tightness in his throat. “Where?”
“Did I tell you she received a letter from Chester Brady this morning?” Deuce asked. He was still not looking at York. “No? I don’t see how that could have slipped my mind.”
“Brady!” York threw the towel aside as he jumped to his feet. “Dammit, you let her go to Brady? Do you want to see her kill herself?”
“What you don’t seem to understand is that people have the right to choose their own destinies, York. You can’t save Sierra if she doesn’t want to be saved.” He paused. “And in Sierra’s case you have no option but to let her go her own way. You’ve made it very clear you have no desire to be bound to her. You certainly can’t have it both ways.”
“Where is she?”
“Sierra’s very independent and won’t tolerate that type of ambiguity. I should think you’d realize tha—York! Dammit, put me down!”
York stepped closer to the pool, holding Deuce’s slight body over the water. “Where?”
“Oh, very well. If you must use brute force, I have no recourse but to dispense with the rest of my lecture. Pity. I was just getting into the swing of it. Put me down.”
As York set him back on his feet, Deuce meticulously tucked his tapered cowboy shirt back in his jeans. “I didn’t say she was with Brady’s troupe, merely that the opportunity was there.”
“Deuce,” York said, enunciating each word with menacing clarity, “I believe I’m going to murder you.”
Deuce backed away hurriedly. “She’s waiting for you at Killara. Not the homestead itself. She asked me to let her out on the high knoll in the foothills that overlooks most of the property.”
“Killara! Why the hell would she go to Killara?”
Deuce shrugged. “She didn’t confide in me. She just told me to tell you to come to her there. Are you going?”
“Of course, I’m going. You let her out alone in the foothills. Anything could happen to her. Since we’ve met her, she’s come down with near pneumonia, been strangled by a python, almost raped in a brothel, and jumped from a trapeze.” He turned and started toward the dressing rooms. “I don’t dare guess what else is lurking on the horizon.”
“Hmm.” Deuce’s faint smile held a trace of sly satisfaction. “Now that I think about it, when the pilot set the helicopter down, I did see something with gray fur streak by a cluster of rocks on the knoll. Are there wolves in the foothills of the Dragoons, by any chance?”
York muttered a low vengeful curse, but his stride unconsciously quickened.
Deuce’s smile widened as he threw back his shoulders and sauntered after York. He could have been a bit more merciful perhaps, but York had needed a lesson. There were many ways a man of his size could deal with the brute force of the Goliaths of this
world, and he had learned them all.
It was sunset by the time York arrived at Killara.
Sierra was sitting on top of the grassy knoll, her arms linked loosely around her drawn up legs. She was gazing at the distant homestead and the purple-shadowed grandeur of the Dragoon mountains beyond it. When the helicopter began to descend, she looked up and waved cheerfully. York darted an annoyed glance at Deuce as the pilot set the helicopter down.
“Not a wolf in sight,” York said. “Amazing, isn’t it?”
Deuce met his gaze with innocence. “It was a very predictable mistake. What could you expect from a one-eyed tenderfoot like me?”
“Chicanery, deceit, a touch of malice,” York enumerated. “Shall I go on?”
“Please don’t. You’re making me blush.” Deuce smiled. “She’s waiting for you. If I didn’t know better, I’d think that York, the dragon fighter, was a trifle nervous.”
York opened the door of the helicopter and jumped to the ground. “Wait for us. I’m taking her back to Hell’s Bluff.”
Sierra drew a deep breath as she watched York walk toward her. She slowly got to her feet and wiped her palms on her jeans. It did little good. Her hands still felt cold and clammy with nervousness. He had changed from the business suit into his usual faded jeans and a navy-blue shirt. He no longer looked the stranger he had this morning, and that helped.
He stopped before her and thrust out his hand. “Come on, we’re going back to Hell’s Bluff. What the hell ever possessed you to have Deuce drop you here in the middle of nowhere? If you wanted to see Killara, you should have told me. We’ll arrange to drop in at the homestead for dinner next week.”
She shook her head. “No. Now, York. No polite social visit. It’s time you came home.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He frowned fiercely. “And I don’t think you do eith—” The roar of the helicopter drowned his words. He turned to see Deuce waving to him as the pilot lifted the aircraft off the ground. “What the devil! I told them to wait for us.”
“And I told Deuce to leave us alone after he dropped you off. I must have been more insistent than you in expressing my wishes. He knew I needed time alone with you.”
She ran her tongue across her suddenly dry lips. “I believe you were saying I didn’t know what I was talking about. Well, you’re wrong. I do know, but I didn’t realize what the problem was for a long time. It took a while for it all to come together. I almost gave up and accepted your vision of the situation.” She smiled shakily. “I guess that was natural. My self-image wasn’t the greatest, and it was easy for me to believe I wouldn’t be woman enough to hold you.”
“Lord, Sierra, I never meant that.” He took an impulsive step forward. “I don’t know how you could even imagine I’d stop loving you. You’re everything I would ever want in a woman; companion, mistress, beloved.”
Joy, radiance, relief. The emotions flowing through her were so strong, she found it difficult to speak. “That’s very good to know. It’s going to make the rest of this a great deal easier.”
Her dark eyes were gazing at him with such glowing intensity, he experienced a sense of déjà vu. That first night in his study she had looked at him like this and he had wanted to lay the world at her feet. He wanted to do the same thing now. “What do you want from me, Sierra?” he asked gently. “Why are you here?”
“I don’t want anything from you. You’ve given me what I want. You love me.” She smiled with a brilliance that made him catch his breath. “I want to give you something.”
“What?”
“Your place.” She gestured to the valley below. “Killara.”
“I thought you said I carried my place around within me.”
“You do, but that was Killara too. I didn’t understand that.” Her voice was earnest. “I don’t think you do either. That’s why you won’t let yourself take what you want. That’s why you won’t give us a chance. You won’t accept the fact you have a right to a place in life.”
His body tautened with a strange tension. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Yes, you do. Think about it. It all fits together. Remember what you told me your reaction was when you found out you were going to live after all? You said you went a little wild and were thrown off balance because it was difficult to believe in miracles. And after Kathleen told me about the heirloom clock you broke—”
“She said I broke the clock?” York interrupted. “I didn’t break that blasted clock.”
“You didn’t?” she asked, surprised. “Kathleen didn’t exactly say you broke it. I guess I just assumed …” She shrugged. “Well, it doesn’t matter right now. She did say you fought the idea that you could never be a real part of the family or Killara, and that it took you a long time to accept it.” She paused. “But you finally did accept it, didn’t you? You had to, because otherwise you couldn’t stand the pain. Then a miracle happened, and you found out everything you’d accepted was a lie. You could become brother, son, partner in Killara, everything you’d ever wanted.” She smiled sadly. “But it was too late. Deuce said second thoughts are nearly impossible to accept, and he’s right. You still had a lingering conviction you had no right to Killara, no right to life. So you left Killara and your family and lived a life you could accept. Even when your love for your family and Killara drew you home, you still held back. You built yourself a boom town on a mountaintop, a town with no roots and a question mark for a future. Here today, gone tomorrow.” She let out a shaky breath. “Don’t you see? You’ll always live that life if you don’t realize you have a right to everything Rafe and Burke possess. Oh, I don’t mean the wealth and property, just the belonging. A place, York.”
His eyes were glittering as he looked down at her. “You’ve thought a great deal about this, haven’t you?” The words were husky and a little halting. “What if you’re wrong? What if it’s just the nature of the beast?”
“I’m not wrong,” she said confidently. “But if I am, it still won’t matter. You’ll never get away from me now. I’ll follow you to Hell’s Bluff or the wilds of the Congo.” She paused. “Or to Killara. You name it. Because, you see, I’ve found my place too. I’ll never have a Killara, but I’ll have what I am inside me.” She took a step forward and slid her arms around his waist. She nestled close to him, rubbing her cheek contentedly against his chest. “And I’ll have you, York. Love is a place too.”
He stood absolutely motionless for an instant. Then his arms went around her and he was crushing her to him. His cheek pressed against her temple and it was damp with tears. “Yes, love is a place too.” His big hands were unsteady as they caressed her hair. “I don’t need Killara, Sierra. Not as long as I have you. I couldn’t have let you go. Not ever. I kept telling myself I had to do it, but I don’t think—” His voice broke. “Lord, I love you.”
“Well, you certainly made us both miserable enough while you were fighting it,” she grumbled. “We’re just lucky I came to my senses in time. You know, I had to fight a few battles myself to get this far. Peacocks can be very intimidating to little brown hens.”
“But you’re not a brown hen.” He pushed her away from him to look down at her. His face was lit with joy, exuberance, and a wild mischief. “You’re a soaring flamingo.” His hands encircled her waist and he lifted her high over his head as he spun in a dizzying circle. “You’re a cardinal in the snow, you’re a—”
She lovingly pressed her fingers to his lips and laughed down at him. “Peacock?”
He let her slide slowly down his body until his lips met hers sweetly, warmly, and with all the love in the world. He lifted his head. “Peacock.”
“Okay, accept that. We’re both peacocks, spreading our plumage to an admiring populace.” She kissed him again. “As one peacock to another, will you tell me something?”
“What?”
“Who broke the clock?”
He laughed, his eyes twinkling. “Now that’s a Delaney family secret. It
will require more than a birds-of-a-feather relationship to wrest the details of that episode from me.”
“It will?”
He nodded. “Rafe, Burke, and I swore a solemn pact on Old Shamus’s grave. They wouldn’t understand if I let an outsider into the story.” He lifted her chin, cradling her face in his hands and looking into her eyes. “There’s only one thing to do. You’ll have to marry me.” He kissed her tenderly. “I’ll tell you all the shocking details on our wedding day. Okay?”
“Okay,” she whispered. She couldn’t stand it. She was so happy, she felt as if she were going to float away into the stratosphere at any moment. “I wouldn’t want you to break your promise. Shamus might suddenly decide to haunt the hallowed halls of Killara.”
“It’s a good thing you have a proper respect for our family honor as you’re about to be absorbed into the Delaney menage yourself. Killara has a way of taking in strangers and making them belong to her.”
“Like Rising Star?”
He nodded slowly. “Like Rising Star. We’re going to have to bring her home. I don’t think she’ll be happy for much longer at Hell’s Bluff.”
Sierra tensed, then tried to relax. It was his decision. She couldn’t make it for him. “No?”
For a moment he seemed troubled. “I don’t know if you’re right about me. You may be, but it’s too early for me to tell yet. I do know that wherever I am, I want you to be there too. I do want Killara for you and my children.” One finger traced the line of her cheekbone. “But I can live without Killara. I don’t think I can live without you, Sierra.”
She swallowed hard and firmly blinked back the tears. “You’re not going to have to do without either one of us. I’m going to make sure—” She broke off and took a step back as she heard the sudden throb of a helicopter. She looked up to see one with the familiar Shamrock logo approaching Killara from the west. Her brow creased in puzzlement. “Deuce?”
York grinned. “No way. He wouldn’t dare disobey a determined lady like Sierra Smith. No, it must be Rafe. Burke flew back to Killara hours ago.”
York, the Renegade: A Loveswept Classic Romance Page 16