The Unbelievable Oliver and the Four Jokers

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The Unbelievable Oliver and the Four Jokers Page 5

by Pseudonymous Bosch


  “Have you seen my rabbit?” he asked immediately.

  “No,” said Teenie. “But I know who did it! I know who the burglar is!”

  “Oh, so do I,” said Oliver, who was more concerned about Benny at the moment.

  “And so do I!” said Bea, who had just arrived. She held her notebook in the air, excited to share her discovery. “I’ll go first.”

  “No, I will!” said Teenie. “You always go first.”

  “That’s not true—you do!”

  Before the issue could be resolved, a red siren started whirling above the volcano, along with a swirl of cotton candy smoke. Eruption in one minute, noted the countdown clock.

  “Well,” said Maddox’s mother, walking up to them with her son and his friends in tow. “Did you figure it out? Maddox wants his robotic dog back, and—”

  “You mean cat!” several voices corrected her.

  “Robotic cat, yes. And I must admit I’m very curious to find out what happened to it.”

  “We each figured it out by ourselves,” Bea said proudly. “We know who stole the RK-D2!”

  “Duh,” Maddox replied. “You did.”

  “Nope,” said Oliver.

  “Nuh-uh,” Bea said.

  “No way,” said Teenie.

  They each took a deep breath and shouted:

  Oliver, Bea, and Teenie looked at one another in surprise. They had identified three separate suspects: Joe, Memphis, and Jayden.

  Maddox laughed. “You guys can’t even get your stories straight.”

  “But I know it was Joe,” Oliver said. “He took out the garbage and I heard it MEOW!”

  Maddox rolled his eyes. “Joe does all my chores.”

  “What about Jayden?” Teenie said. “He had the RK-D2 app open on his phone.”

  “Ha!” Maddox said. “Jayden does all my homework. I gave him the app. I’m not going to learn some computer program just to play with a toy.”

  Jayden high-fived Maddox in what appeared to be agreement.

  “Well, what about Memphis?” Bea said. “She had the instructions for the RK-D2, along with heist plans and a block model of the house.”

  “So? She does all my scheming for me. How am I supposed to prank my teachers with no one to plan it.”

  It seemed that Maddox had an excuse for everything. Bea made one last try.

  “But why did she have the instructions for the RK-D2?”

  “That’s easy,” Maddox explained. “Memphis does all of Jayden’s homework.”

  Memphis nodded. “Besides, none of us could have taken that robot. We were all watching Oliver’s stupid magic show.”

  “I’m afraid that’s true,” said Maddox’s mom. “There must be another explanation.”

  “But there’s nobody else!” Bea wailed, looking down at her notebook. “All the possible suspects were at the show.”

  Maddox tilted his head toward Oliver, Bea, and Teenie. “You guys took the cat. And that’s that.”

  He looked meaningfully at his friend Joe. “Remember what I said before?”

  “Sure thing, boss.” Joe eyed his three future victims as if they were tasty snacks. “I remember.”

  “Perhaps I should call your fathers after all,” said Maddox’s mother.

  Oliver, Bea, and Teenie needed someone or something to save them fast.

  “At least let Oliver do the magic show first!” said Bea, stalling.

  At that moment, Rose approached holding an old magician’s hat and a very squirmy rabbit.

  “I’ve always wanted a rabbit,” she said dreamily. “He’s so soft and cuddly, but I could have sworn I heard him cursing.”

  “Benny, you’re back!” Thrilled, Oliver held the rabbit and the hat to his heart.

  “Yeah, and I almost got cuddled to death,” Benny whined.

  “Let’s get this straight,” he continued as Oliver quickly walked out of earshot of the others. “I do one more show, then I’m out. Bye-bye, kiddie pools and cat girls. Hello to my new warren and forty baby Bennys. Got that?”

  “Okay, I got it! What trick are we going to start with?”

  “Too bad you can’t do a simple arrow catch,” sighed Benny. “But under the circumstances, let’s go straight to the Four Jacks. I’ll walk you through it.”

  “The Four Jacks! Benny, you’re a genius!”

  “I’ve always thought so,” said the rabbit modestly. “But you’d be surprised the prejudice some people have against rabbits.”

  “You solved the case!”

  “The case? I like that . . .” mused Benny. “In a way, every magic show is a case. A mystery to be solved—”

  “The criminal case.”

  Benny snorted. “You mean my gambling debts? Kid, it’s gonna take more than a card trick to solve that one.”

  “No, I mean the robo—”

  “Oliver!” Bea called out. “It’s time for the show.”

  “You know, you look kind of crazy talking to yourself like that,” Teenie whispered when he returned to the Candycano. “Couldn’t you just, I don’t know, think to yourself instead?”

  Oliver was saved from responding when Bea shouted, “Watch out!”

  Startled, Oliver fell backward into the volcano just as a chocolate geyser and a shower of sprinkles erupted from the top. He slid to the ground, looking like a hot fudge sundae.

  The only things missing were whipped cream and a cherry.

  The Four Jokers

  A moment later, the party was reassembled for part two of the magic show, with Oliver, Bea, and Teenie standing onstage.

  Not just Teenie, but all three of them were now bouncing with nervous energy. Oliver especially.

  Still wet, he was trying to warm up.

  “Listen, Ollie,” whispered the rabbit in his ear. “Magic is make-believe, right? There’s always a little storytelling involved. But with the Four Jacks, storytelling is everything.”

  “I told you, I only have four jokers,” said Oliver under his breath.

  “Call it the Four Jokers then,” said Benny. “The point is, you need characters . . . atmosphere . . . suspense. And, of course, you need to know what’s being stolen. You got something in mind?”

  “Yep.” That part he knew from the beginning.

  “My go-to is carrots. Stolen carrots. It’s a pun, see, because carats is how they measure diamonds. But I’m a rabbit, and rabbits eat—”

  “I get it, Benny.”

  By now the crowd was getting a little restless. “Are you gonna start already?!” shouted Maddox.

  “Just a second,” said Bea.

  “Magic takes time!” said Teenie.

  They shot hurry-up looks at Oliver. In truth, they were getting antsy too.

  “Okay, okay,” he said.

  Inside the hat, Benny prepared Oliver’s deck of cards with the four jokers at the top. He handed them down to Oliver to show the crowd.

  With Benny prompting him at every step, Oliver started telling the story of the Four Jokers.

  “This trick takes place at a birthday party,” Oliver began. “It was a big party. The whole third grade was invited—almost. But this wasn’t a regular birthday party. It was also a robbery. The Four Jokers Robbery.”

  Oliver showed all four jokers to the audience, who now sat on the edge of their seats, their attention rapt. Being part of the birthday party, they were part of the story. Part of the magic.

  Holding up the jokers one by one, he told the story of the robbery.

  “The first joker was the muscle,” Oliver announced, sliding a card to the bottom of the deck. “He did the heavy lifting. He took the birthday present and hid it under the garbage and out of sight.”

  Joe shifted in his seat. Because he was so big, the seat almost fell over.

  “Now, t
he second joker.” Oliver pulled another card from the top, then moved the card to the middle of the deck. “She stayed in the middle, acting as the brains. Giving instructions and making sure all details of the plan worked.”

  Memphis scanned the crowd to see if anyone looked her way.

  “The third joker.” Oliver held yet another card. “He was good at computers, a real technician. He programmed the robo-cat so they could sneak it out right under everyone’s noses.”

  Jayden checked his phone as Oliver inserted the third card near the top of the deck.

  “But here’s the thing. None of those three could have done it alone. And that’s why the plan was so good. Someone had to have stolen the birthday present in the first place.”

  Finally, Oliver revealed the fourth joker.

  “The fourth joker. He stayed upstairs out of trouble, but he was the mastermind. He planned the robbery, and pinned it on this unsuspecting magician and his friends.”

  Maddox started to boo! but his mother shushed him.

  “Once the coast was clear,” Oliver continued, “the fourth joker called up all the other thieves.”

  Oliver kept one joker in his hand and then removed the top three cards of the deck. One by one, he revealed the other three jokers. It seemed as though they’d all magically traveled up through the deck.

  “And then they got away with the stolen gift . . .” Oliver said.

  Somehow, he’d pulled off the trick perfectly. Murmurs of “How’d he do that?” and “Wow!” spread throughout the audience.

  Everyone stood and clapped. Everyone except Maddox, Memphis, Jayden, and Joe.

  “Well, they almost got away,” said Oliver.

  Teenie and Bea looked at him in surprise. “Almost?”

  “Almost,” repeated Oliver. “The four jokers, or four burglars, they were Memphis, Jayden, Joe, and—”

  “But it couldn’t have been us, remember?” said Memphis, who was shifting nervously in her seat. “Everyone was right here.”

  “Yeah, we have alibis!” said Jayden.

  “Right. That’s why there had to be one more. And who was the fourth burglar?” Oliver paused, drawing out the suspense. “I’ll give you a hint. It’s his birthday.”

  “Maddox!” Bea shouted, finally figuring it all out and making a last note in her book.

  “Right! Maddox is the fourth joker—I mean, burglar!” Teenie exclaimed. “He was the only one missing, so he’s the only one who could have taken the RK-D2.”

  Almost everyone gasped and burst into applause.

  And with the applause came the housekeeper holding the birthday cake. It was the biggest cake Oliver had ever seen. He started clapping as well—for the cake.

  The Middle Name Drop

  “Would you explain it all again?” Maddox’s mom asked Oliver. “Slowly this time.”

  With the accusation and the cake, the party had come to a close. Each guest went home with a gift bag, a toy of their choice, and a promise not to repeat anything they’d seen or heard.

  Now the four burglars, along with Oliver, Teenie, and Maddox’s mom, were gathered around the living room’s conversation pit.

  “It’s simple,” said Oliver, his mouth half-full with his third slice of cake. “The four jokers were at the top of the deck the whole time. I just hid three random cards behind the first joker and used those instead.”

  “Not the trick,” Maddox’s mother clarified, although she was glad to know how he’d performed the trick, as it had been bothering her. “The crime.”

  “Oh. Um . . .” Oliver wanted to explain, but he’d just taken another bite of cake.

  Luckily, Bea was paying attention. She opened her notebook.

  “When Maddox went upstairs with the RK-D2, he didn’t play with it, he put it in the trash,” she explained. “Then Joe took the trash with the cat secretly inside. Meanwhile, Memphis monitored the whole operation, telling everyone what to do when. And Jayden used the app on his phone to make the RK-D2 go where they wanted it to.”

  “Well . . .” Maddox’s mother was still confused. “Then where’s the cat now?”

  “Check Jayden’s phone,” said Teenie.

  Jayden resisted at first, but then handed his phone over to Maddox’s mom. She put on her reading glasses to look at the app.

  “Do any of you know how to work this thing?”

  Jayden raised his hand, but Teenie took the phone and showed Maddox’s mom how it worked.

  “You just press this button here. That tells the cat it’s dinnertime. She should come back to the phone right away.”

  From around the corner, they heard a meow. Which sounded just like the possum from earlier, Oliver thought. The cat purred as it approached the phone.

  With the RK-D2’s return, all the evidence was on the table.

  Maddox’s mom finally showed her anger.

  “Maddox Mortimer Marmor!”

  The other children all gasped.

  “She used his middle name!” Memphis whispered to Jayden, who was too shocked by the day’s events to hear.

  Spencer, who had just walked in from the pool, tiptoed out again. He didn’t want any part of the fury coming after a middle name drop.

  “You need to apologize to Oliver, Bea, and Teenie this instant,” said Maddox’s mother.

  Maddox refused. “It wasn’t my idea, it was the clown’s!”

  “Yeah,” Memphis joined in. “He said he’d cut us in on the proceeds.”

  “The clown?” Maddox’s mother had tried to forget the clown from earlier. Whenever possible, it’s best to not think about clowns for too long.

  Spencer stepped back into the room. Despite the drama, he had to get paid.

  “Hey, Mrs. M,” Spencer said. “Do you have that check for me?”

  “Yes, of course, dear.” Maddox’s mother forced a smile. “Here you go. Oh, and here’s your check too, Oliver. You earned it.”

  Oliver and Spencer both smiled at their checks. Though Oliver had no idea what to do with a check. He supposed it would fit in his piggy bank.

  “Thanks, Mrs. M,” Spencer said. “But hey, that wasn’t really a clown earlier.”

  This information came as a surprise to nearly everyone. He’d certainly looked like a clown. But then Oliver realized who it was.

  “It was the Great Zoocheeni!” Oliver said at the same time as Spencer.

  “Yeah,” Spencer added. “How did you not notice? He still had his cape on.”

  Clearly, Oliver had a long way to go as both a magician and a detective.

  “But why was he here?” Maddox’s mother asked. “We’d already booked a magician.”

  “He didn’t like anyone stepping on his turf,” Spencer explained. “Zoocheeni told me ‘That Oliver kid has another think coming! I’ll show him.’ Then he laughed like, ‘AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!’ I think he wants all the birthday business for himself.”

  Almost as if called by name, the Great Zoocheeni burst into the room. He and his dove, Paloma, were both back in their traditional magician costumes.

  “Grab that cat,” Zoocheeni said, sending the dove toward the RK-D2. At first, he didn’t notice the people around the kitchen table.

  “Oh, hello, everyone. It is I, the Great Zoocheeni. I heard your magician was a total disaster, and a burglar to boot. And I have come to save the day.”

  Zoocheeni waited for applause, but nobody clapped. Spencer, seeing this was going to be an actual disaster, whistled out the door.

  “Listen, clown, or Zoo-whoever,” Maddox’s mom said, still angry. “You need to leave immediately.”

  “Wait, Mom!” Maddox said. “He hasn’t given me my money yet.”

  “And he won’t!” She stood up. “You are in such trouble, young man. Wait till your father gets back from his business trip in a month.�


  Zoocheeni wiped his brow and said, “Phew.” He had no intention of paying the children, and was glad to be let off the hook for the debt.

  “Well, he still owes us money,” Memphis said.

  “He told us he would wire it,” said Jayden.

  “Yeah,” Joe agreed.

  The three bullies pounced on the magician. Seeing this was not going as planned, Zoocheeni moved to disappear.

  “I’ll just show myself out,” Zoocheeni said. With a burst of smoke, he attempted to escape with grace and mystery.

  The Great Zoocheeni took one step out the door, but tripped over an unlucky rabbit’s foot. Benny put on his cutest, most innocent bunny face as the magician fell.

  Jayden grabbed his phone from the table and took radio control over the RK-D2. The robotic cat swiped at the magician’s dove. Paloma let out a startled “CAW! CAW!” and flew after her owner.

  Memphis and Joe picked Zoocheeni off the ground and tossed him to the curb as Jayden and the RK-D2 chased Paloma along with him.

  Only Oliver and the twins were left at the table with Maddox and his mother.

  “Great party,” Oliver said. “Is there any cake left?”

  The After Party

  The twins and Oliver left the party with goodie bags, cake, the RK-D2, and everything they could carry from the Candycano.

  Back at the twins’ apartment, they spread the loot out on the table. It was like Halloween. Only this time they didn’t have to share with the twins’ dads.

  Benny used his teeth to open another whole bag of circus peanuts.

  “Your rabbit seems really smart,” Bea told Oliver.

  Benny took a bow and then belched. He’d eaten a tremendous amount of circus peanuts. Feeling like he might be sick, the rabbit nodded to everyone, then hopped off the table.

 

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