by Emilia Finn
“Do I look like the kinda guy that has a babysitter?” he laughs with desperation in his voice. Then he waves me off. “It’ll be okay. I’ll figure it out. Evie and Bean are pretty decent, so I bet if I asked them for suggestions, they’d fix it up for me.”
“You just don’t wanna ask?”
He pulls a dark beanie low over his eyes, and digs his hands into his pockets again. “I don’t like relying on folks. I don’t like not being able to fix things myself. Especially not when it comes to Lyss.”
“That’s why you’re here, right? To win and fix things for Lyss?”
He bobs his head a little in thought. “Essentially. I’m gonna win, I’m gonna get us out of Hell, and then I’m gonna breathe my first easy breath in…” He hesitates. “Years.”
“You think you’re gonna win? For real?”
“I don’t get a choice.” His Adam’s apple lifts and drops as we pass under a streetlight. “This isn’t a game to me. This isn’t a fun weekend getaway. I literally have to win. There is no second option for me. Second place doesn’t pay the bills.”
“But… you have to fight that Mac guy, right?” I peek over at Miles and study his heavy bottom jaw, the dark stubble that coats it like he doesn’t care that he makes me think of a devil-may-care pirate. “He’s the reason this tournament was even started, and to win that money, you have to beat him.”
“I won’t enjoy it,” he admits on a breathy grunt. “It would be better for my mental health if someone else knocks him out early on. I don’t wanna beat on the guy.”
“But you will?”
He looks down to Lyss and winks when she looks up. “Yup. Because although he wants to win, I have to win. It’ll suck for him, but he’ll get over it.”
“What if I babysit for you?” I step to the left when a group of men – fighters, of course – pass us amid obnoxious laughter and bumping shoulders. “Tomorrow night,” I continue. “Will said I can either go to the tournament, or stay in the room.”
Miles’ brows furrow as we step inside the doors of Jonah’s Store and stop to shrug the cold off. “Why would he let you stay at the hotel?”
“Because Three will be at the tournament.” I shrug. “The only person we’ve had trouble with since being in town is that guy, and since he’ll be at the tournament — in Will’s division, even — I’m allowed to choose which way I go.”
“You’d…” He grabs a shopping basket, passes a second for me, and, stopping at the fresh fruit, he sorts through green apples. “You’d seriously babysit for me?”
“Sure.” I pick up an apple and bite in. “I’m not particularly excited about watching a bunch of fighters beat on each other. And though I told Will I’d be his loudest cheerleader, he feels like that might be ‘drawing attention to myself’. Those were his words,” I add when he laughs. “He’s got this thing about me remaining invisible to fighters. Or, ya know, men in general.” I grab a handful of grapes and toss them, one by one, into my mouth. “So, if you’re truly hard up for someone to watch her, I bet we could come to an understanding.”
“Are you…” He slows at a display of suckers with a frown. “You wouldn’t mind? Truly?” He passes a sucker to Lyss, and when my eyes remain on the display, he grabs a second and passes it to me. “Cam?”
“You said you’re gonna win?”
“I wouldn’t be here unless I was sure. I spent a whole paycheck on gas and a hotel. I can’t afford to lose that. Which means this week has to mean something.”
“So, the purse is five hundred K, right?”
He turns away from the display and heads toward the fridge section. “Right. That’s what Miss Kincaid said.”
“Five thousand.”
He selects a tub of pre-cut turkey. “Five thousand what?”
“That’s my fee for babysitting. Two nights, assuming you don’t get knocked out in the first, I’ll sleep in her bed with her, I’ll watch over her, keep her away from the allergic food. And at the end when you win, I want five grand.”
He actually throws his head back and laughs so loud that he draws eyes. “You are dreamin’, little girl. You’re trying to shake down the wrong dude.”
“One thousand.”
“Wow!” He turns to me and shakes his head. “You just slashed eighty percent of your initial offer. Eighty percent!”
“You said no!”
“Doesn’t mean you cut yourself off at the knees! Damn, Cameron. What has Will been teaching you?”
“To stay inside and hide away from anyone with an appendage between their legs.”
Chuckling, Miles selects two tubs of the turkey, and tosses a third into my basket. “I’ll pay you a thousand bucks for two nights, which, by the way, is a massive markup compared to other teen babysitters.”
“Extenuating circumstances and all that.” I snatch up a loaf of bread and toss it into my basket with no care for how it bends and folds. “Take it or leave it, Iowa.”
He snorts at my use of his nickname. “Deal. But I’m gonna need you to video call me.”
“When? When she’s going to sleep?”
He shakes his head and continues along the aisle. “The whole time. Literally, the entire time. If you hang up, I leave the tournament to check on you both, and if I leave, I forfeit. I only pay you if I win, so it’s in your best interest that I don’t forfeit.”
“Hold up, there.” I grab his arm when he tries to walk on. “Come again?”
“Which part?”
“You’re only gonna pay me if you win? That wasn’t the offer I made.”
“Kid, do I look like a guy that has a spare thousand dollars to toss around?” He shakes his head before I can answer. “I don’t even have a spare fifty. Or hell, a five. We’re living hand-to-mouth. So if I win, we both win.”
“Cam?”
My head snaps up and around at that voice, that infuriatingly haunting voice that makes my heart race.
Miles glances up and steps in front of me in protection, but then he notices who called my name; he recognizes the face, so with nothing more than a shrug, he sidesteps and goes to stand by Lyss as she points at something in the fridge.
“You can’t leave me!” I hiss. “Miles!”
“You’re fine,” he chuckles. “He knows I’m watching.”
He said I could be his soulmate! He said he would kiss me and declare forevers! “Um…” I clear my throat as he steps into my space. “Secretary. Hey.” Screw Miles’ pirate exterior. Now I focus on this guy’s bordering-on-shaggy hair. It’s not long, but it’s not short either. His chocolate brown eyes. His broad shoulders, and chest, way thicker than those I go to school with. “Um…”
“I missed you today.” He steps closer, too close, like he thinks we’re already together. “You purposely avoiding me? Or did your brother banish you from the gym?”
“Little bit of A.” I swallow the bite of apple in my mouth and stand taller. “Little bit of B. Listen, Secretary, you need to back away from me.”
“But you smell nice.” He leans closer, closer, closer until the tip of his nose whispers along my cheekbone, and his scent invades my senses. His cologne fills my lungs until there’s no untainted oxygen left, then he pulls back with a smile and knowledge that, despite my tough exterior, he knows how to scramble my brains. “This would all go smoother if you’d just give me a minute of your time.”
“Says the kidnapper to his newest victim. ‘Just let it happen, Cameron. It won’t hurt if you stop fighting’.”
He pulls back just a little and meets my eyes with a frown. “Do you speak to anyone about your thoughts?”
“A shrink?”
He nods. “The stigma died long ago. People are allowed to seek help now, and it’s al—”
“Shrinks are expensive. And don’t worry, I’ve never actually been kidnapped before. I’m just thinking ahead.” I turn on a dime and continue shopping. “Lyss, do you—”
A strong hand latches onto my arm, so sure, so demanding, and spins me back until our che
sts slam together, and my breath escapes my body and fills his until he smiles. Seventeen or not, this guy stands tall over me, and promises that with five more years of growth, he might come close to that heavyweight division he wants.
“Are you and Will coming to the gym tomorrow?” he asks. “Around ten.”
“No,” I breathe out. “And what’s at ten?”
“I have stuff to do at ten. I want you to come at a time that isn’t ten.”
“Well, then I’ll be sure to arrive at ten on the dot.” I tilt my head to the side and grin. “It’s like you don’t know me at all.”
“Don’t I? A moment ago, you said you wouldn’t be there at all. Now you are, and I know at exactly what time.” He leans in and slides the tip of his nose over mine. “Let it happen, Cam. I swear, when we’re married, you’ll be happy when I tell you I told you so.”
“I’ll be happy when they throw you into a white, padded room.” I pull away and shrug my coat back into place. “Leave me alone, Secretary. I don’t want you.”
I make my way to Miles and Alyssa, and try my damnedest to breathe away the blush that fills my cheeks.
“Why didn’t you save me? Huh?” I knock my shoulder against Miles’ and accept a can of tuna when he offers. “Your job is to keep the guys away from me.”
“My job is to keep you safe.” He shuffles me toward the back of the store and away from the guy who makes me wish I was allowed to kiss. Just one time, because hell, he might be weird, but he’s intriguing too. “You’re not unsafe around him.”
“He’s a boy. Will is gonna get mad at you.”
“He’s a boy, a kid, and he’s got a crush. That doesn’t mean you’re in danger.” He looks down and smiles for his daughter. “You like that boy, don’t you, baby?”
Lyss looks between me and her dad, and bobs her head. “He’s nice. And did you know Cass is having puppies?”
“Who the heck is Cass?” I ask.
“A dog. Duh.” Miles tosses a sleeve of crackers into my basket, another into his, and continues walking. “Miss Kincaid has a pregnant dog hidden away in the office at the gym.”
“For real?” I glance from his eyes, to Lyss’. Back and forth. “Real puppies?”
“Uh huh!” Lyss excitedly nods until her long hair flips over her shoulders. “Real puppies. Miss Kincaid showed me the mommy dog. She doesn’t walk around much right now, because she’s too pregnant, and Miss Kincaid said that it hurts Cass’ belly to be wandering around.”
“When is she due?”
Alyssa shrugs.
I look to Miles.
“Dunno.” Studying the contents of his basket, then mine, he nods and turns to make his way toward the registers. “She said soon. But I don’t know if that means soon as in ‘today’, or soon as in ‘January’.”
“It’s nearly January, Daddy!”
“Yes it is.” Miles stops on an X on the floor, a marker for customers to queue up and wait for an available register. “Maybe after that, summer will come back.”
“It’s almost time for Christmas, Miss Cam.” Lyss tugs on my coat with fingers sticky from her sucker. “Santa is coming next week!”
The bitter woman in me, the woman who tosses retorts at Secretary every single time he speaks, is tempted to tell her Santa isn’t real. It would be so easy to burst her bubble, to wax on about how a jolly, fat man has never snuck into my home — except that one time, but he wasn’t bringing gifts.
This Santa they all speak of must’ve missed my name when compiling his list of children to visit. No matter how hard Will worked for us, there’s only so much one guy can do. Loaves of bread and tubs of peanut butter, while boring, have always been more valuable to us than a Barbie Dreamhouse.
One is for survival. The other is for stupid little girls who dream impossible dreams, and are destined for failure.
But because I take no pleasure in bursting a little girl’s happiness, I settle on a smile and take Lyss’ sticky hand in mine. Because this might be my Christmas gift to myself: a child’s unfettered joy, the little girl of a struggling dad. She might not get a Dreamhouse either, but she gets the dream. And that’s worth a hell of a lot more than a pile of plastic.
“Did you write a letter to Santa?” I ask.
“Yup!” She leans a little closer and whispers, “I asked for a puppy.”
“No, Alyssa.” Miles steps forward when a cashier calls him up. “I said no puppies. Sorry, baby, but Santa doesn’t deliver living things.”
“Maybe you could steal a puppy in a few years,” I whisper. “Bring it home, give it snuggles, and then tell your dad. He can’t undo it by that point.”
“Cameron Quinn.” Miles purses his lips and glowers. “Quit it, or I’m gonna fire you for tomorrow night.”
“Oops!” I squeak and smile for Lyss. “I need that job, baby. Which means no puppies.”
“I’ll sneak one when I’m six,” she whispers. “He won’t even notice until he already loves it. And then it’s too late.”
“That’s the spirit.” I step forward when another cashier waves us closer, and though I worry that Lyss might duck away in mine and her dad’s preoccupation, she doesn’t even try. She sticks to me like Velcro, tosses her sucker wrapper up to the cashier to scan, and grins when the woman tosses the trash away afterward.
Minutes later, Miles and I hold bags of groceries in our arms as we exit the store and head back in the direction we came.
“What time do you want me over tomorrow night?”
Miles’ breath comes out in a white fog ahead of him. “I have to be there by six. So if you could be at our room by five-thirty, I’ll make sure Three is out. I’m not going anywhere until he does.”
“I’ll let you know if he comes back.”
The cold bites into my bones and toes like I’m not wearing a coat and sneakers. It scoffs at my layers, disregards the money I didn’t have but dropped on them anyway, because a girl needs a coat. It mocks me and makes it so my jaw aches and my ears sting.
“I’ll bring my phone and charger cord, then we’ll be on video call the whole time.” I slow my steps and frown. “I don’t have to chat with you the whole time we’re on the phone, right?”
He chuckles under his breath. “No.”
“Good. Because that’s hours of talk, and hell, I don’t even speak that much in my head.”
“You’re not hosting me, Cam. You’re just acting as a security camera. You can sleep, but that phone call has to remain live the whole time. I wanna be able to check on you anytime I like.”
“What if your battery dies?”
“It’s my job to make sure that doesn’t happen. It’s your job to make sure she’s safe. No food, no visitors. If the place catches on fire, I need you to be brave enough to get my baby out. If someone knocks on the door, well,” he scoffs, “I’ll hear it through the phone, at which point, I’ll be back to do something about it.”
“And what if the knock is room service?” I look up and grin when his jaw clenches.
“There is no room service in this dump.” He studies the shitty hotel as we approach the new block. “If someone knocks, then there will be hell to pay. And if you open the door, you’re gonna be in big trouble.”
“Can I have boys over?”
“Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”
I burst out laughing and almost stumble up onto the sidewalk. Lyss’ hand remains holding the bottom of my coat. Tight enough I can feel her presence, but not so tight that she’s dragging me backward. “I guess one could say I enjoy testing limits.”
“Don’t test mine, kid. I’m too tired. Just be cool, watch a movie, snuggle my baby, and when it’s all over, I’ll bring you a thousand bucks and a high-five.”
“A high-five? Well, hell, boss. You should have mentioned that earlier! I would have sold my time for a hundred bucks if I knew a high-five was coming my way.”
“Hush.” He bumps my shoulder with his and looks toward the balcony in front of us.<
br />
Room three is wide open, and both fighters – Kyle and Reid Baker – stand with their elbows on the rickety banister.
“You don’t speak our plans out loud,” Miles murmurs. “You absolutely do not tell anyone that you’ll be here alone with a little girl. I’ll be telling a different story when I’m at the gym.”
“This ain’t my first rodeo,” I whisper back. “We’re from the same neighborhood, you and me. Different towns, different people, but underneath it all, we’re the same. You can trust me.”
“Good. Keep walking. Do not stop.”
He hustles me and Lyss up the stairs ahead of him. He follows us, just one step behind, and the moment Lyss and I crest the top step, he comes to my right and blocks Three from getting too close.
“You don’t wanna play, little girl?” Kyle looks deep into my eyes, penetrating and sickening. “You look like a dancer, huh? You look like your legs open up nice and wide.”
“Stop.” The other fighter slaps a hand onto his brother’s shoulder. “Quit it.”
Kyle throws his hands up, feigning frustration, but in reality, he’s removing that restraining hand. “I’m only asking about her hobbies. Geez. It’s called small talk. I’m being polite.”
“Not only is she a minor,” Miles growls. “But she’s under my protection and that of her brother. Back up, or learn what happens when you step into the wrong neighborhood and try to touch what ain’t yours. This isn’t a game to me, Baker. And the only reason you’re still standing is because Miss Kincaid made it clear that if we fight outside the gym, we’ll be booted from the tournament.”
“If you can’t square up for your girl,” Kyle sneers, “then you’re gonna need to sit down, Iowa.”
“I said Kincaids frown on it,” Miles snaps. “I didn’t say it wouldn’t be worth it. Money buys groceries. But putting you down buys happiness. Don’t mistake clemency for weakness, son. It’ll be the last thing you do.”
“And yet…” He steps forward. “Here I stand, untouched. And she looks awfully tasty.”
“Kyle!” Reid snaps. “Stop it!”
“You’re eighteen soon, aren’t you, little dancer?” He looks at Lyss and grins. “She’s a minor. But this one.” He looks back to me. “You’re juuuuust about ready for picking.”