I frowned at the door when Jasper did not appear. Softly, I knocked and called out his name, feeling anxious for some reason. What if-? Oh, God, no, Skye, don't think like that. He wouldn't do anything stupid. Jasper was a smart guy.
But even the smartest people sometimes gave up when somebody they loved a lot hurt them.
"Jasper?" I called again but there was no answer.
With my heart in my throat, I turned the door handle and peeked inside. My mouth went dry at the sight in front of me.
Jasper, in the shower, facing away from me with his large hands braced on the opposite wall as the heavy spray of water pounded onto his big, tanned body. His entire naked back was presented to me. The broad shoulders and muscled back down to his tapering waist, tight buttocks and thick, long legs. Even his feet were large and intimidating.
I could not avert my gaze and for the life of me, I could not walk away. He was just standing there with his head bent and not even washing himself or anything. As though he had frozen in time.
"Jasper." My lips formed his name involuntarily and I gasped when he raised his head and turned to look at me.
We stared at each other as the water plastered his blond hair to his head and ran down his face and torso in rivulets.
He was the one who recovered first from the shock and frowned at me. "Skye, what the fuck are you doing? Get out of here."
His eyes were bloodshot, his features drawn in pain and it gave me confirmation that he had been crying. Because of me.
"I'm so sorry," I said to him, starting to cry myself because I wished I really could convince him how sorry I was. "I heard you on the phone. He told me it had nothing to do with me but that's not true, huh? I messed everything up."
His throat bobbed as he swallowed and continued to stare at me.
I realised my cheeks were wet and brushed at the tears again, taking a step towards him, wanting to comfort him. "Please believe me, Jasper. I...I never wanted to take him away from you. But I can't leave him now!" I cried, wiping my nose on my sleeve. "You saw what happened the last time. I can't do that to him again and I know you wouldn't want me to."
He sucked the water droplets from his lips as they trickled down relentlessly and swallowed again. "This is the second time you've cried because of me," he said in a low, pained voice. "Please stop, Skye."
My eyes searched his face desperately. "Do you believe me?" I asked softly. "Do you believe that I feel bad about this? I know you hate me but can you ever forgive me? I'll talk to Cole and make things right. I promise you I'm going to knock some sense into him. You're right. He can't treat you like this for something you're not guilty of. You've never touched me."
Jasper closed his eyes then and what he said next made me go still with shock.
"But I wanted to."
My lips parted as I looked up at him and blinked. No. That was not true. He had just been trying to keep me on edge or something just to mess with me. Jasper did not really want me.
"Jasper-"
"Remember the day you first saw me," he interrupted, still speaking in that low voice. "I took your pictures without your consent and I hid them from Cole. He found them and accused me of secretly lusting after you."
I shook my head slowly. I had already suspected he had taken my photos that day but that did not mean he would cheat on Cole.
"But it didn't mean anything, right?" I said in a small voice.
He laughed dryly and stepped towards me, his gaze burning into me yet again. "Of course not. You caught my eye and I did something stupid but that was it."
Letting out a relieved breath, I smiled at Jasper shakily, trying not to feel overwhelmed by his closeness.
"Okay. So you've got nothing to hide. It was just a momentary lapse of judgment. Cole has to see that. He will, I promise you," I told him earnestly.
He studied my face for a few seconds. Neither of us moved away.
"Why do you care?" he asked me in a husky voice. "Why do care if he hurts me? You should work it to your advantage. It'd be good for you if things didn't work out between me and Cole."
It hurt that he thought of me that way. That I could be that vindictive. "I don't want to be responsible for destroying something good. I can see how much you love him."
His eyes became sad again. "I'm not sure if he loves me anymore," he confessed in a pained whisper.
I sucked in a breath and instinctively reached out to cup his jaw with my hand. He did not flinch at my touch or step away. His jaw felt wet, hard and prickly with a growth of stubble and his gaze remained steady, making my heart beat faster.
"Don't think like that," I told him. "Cole loves you. He's just angry and confused. He'll come around."
Jasper stepped even closer until our bodies were almost touching. I swallowed hard at his proximity, my neck straining from looking up at him for so long.
"I need to get ready for my flight," he murmured, his dark eyes hooded and unbelievably, he nuzzled my palm. A thrill ran through me at his gesture.
"I'll come with you," I offered weakly.
His eyes glittered and he smiled at me slightly. "Are you trying to make things worse between me and my boyfriend? I'm in enough trouble as it is."
Was he...teasing me? Jasper Wells was teasing me. In a totally non-bitter, indulgent tone.
"Jasper," I sighed, leaning closer to him.
He hissed at the touch of my body and his gaze grew hotter. Something was happening here. And it wasn't all me. He wanted...he wanted to kiss me. I knew it as surely as I knew my own name.
A few seconds passed while I waited for the touch of his lips on mine but he snapped out of it and his fingers wrapped around my wrist, pulling my hand away from his face. He was breathing heavily and I was startled to discover the hard press of his erection against my stomach. I gasped at the contact right before he moved away with a tortured expression.
"No, Skye," he said to me firmly, shaking his blond head. "I can't. I...want you...I can't deny that anymore and Cole is right. You are incredible. But I can't hurt him." He stepped around me to retrieve his towel. "No matter what he thinks of me, I'd die before I betrayed his trust."
I shut my eyes in pain. Which was more than what I could say given my selfish behaviour just now. I would have let him kiss me. I craved it.
"I'm really sorry," I whispered again.
He paused at the door and said something I had never expected him to say. "You're so damn sweet. I wish I'd brought you home myself the day I first saw you. But you belong to him now and you couldn't have predicted this attraction between us. Please don't blame yourself."
He left then and I leaned against the vanity and cried softly. Yeah. Like I said. What a fucking mess...
~~~
Chapter 19
Skye
I was so consumed with guilt and so damn confused by the time Cole got home that evening that I actually faked a nap. I heard him calling my name softly, felt his gaze run over my body where I rested sideways on the bed and kept absolutely quiet and still while he went about showering, making himself something to drink and then turning on the TV.
I needed more than one day to sort out my feelings. Not only was I in love with Cole, I wanted and cared for his boyfriend as well.
There, I had admitted it. What made it even more complicated was the fact that Jasper seemed to have deeper feelings for me too. More than he had let on until today. It was as though a wall had been broken down between us and I had witnessed his vulnerability when it came to me and the guy seated on the living room couch at that moment.
Everything inside me screamed to come clean, tell my lover the truth but there was that tiny part of me that felt so scared he would hate me for it. He would finally realise I was not worth all the trouble and decide to let me go. After being loved and cherished so much by him, I wasn't sure I was ready to handle the pain of being dumped just because I could not control my hormones or my emotions.
Besides, the thing about Cole was that he was
very possessive. That was an innate part of his nature and maybe it came from never having anyone to call his own until he had met us so he jealously guarded what belonged to him. I knew he wasn't the kind of guy who was okay with the idea of sharing Jasper with me or vice versa.
It was quite clear he hated it when Jasper looked at me and I was also aware of how uncomfortable he got when he saw me paying too much attention to his partner so expecting understanding from him regarding this was out of the question. Cole was an amazing guy but I did not want to test his limits.
Speaking of limits, I didn't want to test mine either. It was way too scary. Two men? How could that even be possible? I never imagined myself to be the ménage à trois type despite having read about it a lot. How would that even work? They were both so hot and demanding, they would eat me alive.
I shuddered at the image I created in my brain and tried not to allow the languid feeling that came over me to take control of my body. No. This was wrong. I had to stop. For Cole's sake. He deserved better. If Jasper could be faithful to him even during these trying times, I had no reason to stray when I was on the receiving end of so much love and devotion.
The thought gave me an idea. I sat up, feeling energized, and scrolled through my contact list to find Jasper's number. I had never used it despite Cole's insistence that I keep it in case there was some problem at the house and I could not get a hold of Cole.
Now I typed a quick text and hit send then waited for him to reply with my bottom lip caught between my teeth.
I've got an idea -Skye.
Oh my God, what if he didn't want to talk to me after the shower incident? What if he was back to hating my guts?
He actually had ammo against me now and could rat me out to Cole about how I had ambushed him in the bathroom and almost kissed him. That would be a surefire way to get me out of Cole's life and Cole would hate me so much, he would have no problem letting go this time. Dread curled around my heart at the thought.
Jasper wouldn't be that deceptive, would he? What if everything he had said to me in the bathroom was a ruse?
Just as I was about to put the phone down, I saw the incoming text. My heartbeats sped up in a way they definitely had no business doing so considering who the sender was.
Do I want to know? - Jasper.
I smiled and typed back.
Trust me on this. It's going to work. Just go MIA while you're on this trip. No contact with Cole. He'll go crazy and would have to forgive you. - Skye.
There was no reply for several seconds.
Then my phone pinged again.
What is this, high school? I'm perfectly fine. I don't want him to worry. - Jasper.
I rolled my eyes.
Jasper. Just do as I said. You want him back or not? - Skye.
He made me wait a whole two minutes before replying.
Fine. Just take care of him. Let me know if he's alright. - Jasper.
I snickered and typed back, throwing his words about me to Cole back in his face.
Relax, Wells. He's not a little boy. He can handle himself. - Skye.
I tossed my phone on the bed and got up, feeling happier and lighter for some reason and ready to spend the rest of the night with my sweet, gorgeous boyfriend. Get his nose out of the book he was most probably reading at that moment.
Another text came in and I quickly checked it as I ran my fingers through my hair. My eyes bugged when I read his reply.
I know he can handle himself. But he is always going to be my little boy. - Jasper.
Okaaayyy. Should I ask? I shook my head as the implications hit me from all around, put the phone down slowly and backed away, crushing my curiosity. That truly was none of my business.
*****
Two days passed during which Cole and I spent all our free time huddled inside the house watching Netflix and chilling and hitting our TBR pile. Which resulted in failed attempts because we were also busy having sex like bunnies now that we had the place all to ourselves. We were still in the honeymoon phase and couldn't get enough of each other. It was all we wanted to do. He was very, very thorough.
But I didn't miss the worry he hid from me when he escaped into the bathroom or his office to leave voicemails for Jasper which grew more and more desperate as time passed. When Jasper did not reply by the end of the second day, I heard Cole calling some of his boyfriend's family members in London who informed him that Jasper had left London right after his parents' anniversary party that evening. That sent my boyfriend into panic mode.
He constantly checked Jasper's social media accounts and when he saw that there were no recent posts (which was bad, I gathered because Jasper was a hotshot photographer and he never failed to update his Instagram business profile), Cole sort of went numb. That was the only way I could describe it. It was as though he believed that Jasper had left him or something. I saw now what had made that arrogant, blond man come bearing a white flag in front of me that day in the cafeteria. Hell, watching Cole in pain was the hardest thing to witness.
The morning before Jasper was to arrive, Cole, my workaholic Cole, took the day off. The last voice message I heard him leaving on Jasper's phone consisted of him apologising profusely, begging Jasper to call him back and telling him he would go to the police if Jasper did not show up on their doorstep soon. It would have been funny if I did not love the guy so much and seeing tears in his eyes while he sat staring at the phone with a pale face made my heart ache for him.
But at least the plan was working. Jasper had touched base with me a couple of times so I knew he was fine. At one point, he threatened me to be especially good to Cole because he could no longer stand to hear the pain in those voice messages. Man, that giant of a guy had a hell of a soft spot for Cole Sawyer. His grizzly bear facade completely melted when it came to his 'little boy'.
I found it absolutely adorable. And fascinating as fuck.
The moment Jasper walked in through the door on Monday morning, I froze at my position in front of the kitchen counter where I was making green tea for Cole. He looked so handsome and dangerously appealing in black, I almost spilled the tea due to nervous excitement.
Our eyes met and held for a few significant seconds during which my heart pounded hard against my chest but then Cole was there looking at Jasper with a relieved expression on his face before it turned to anger borne out of love.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Wells?" Cole yelled, not even letting the blond guy drop his luggage and take a breather. "You couldn't leave me one fucking message?" he berated, scowling. "Where the hell were you?!"
Jasper sucked his lips through his teeth and I waited for him to say the words I had told him to say. And to my utter relief, instead of being his usual arrogant self, he regarded Cole sadly and shrugged in a gesture of defeat.
"I thought you'd be happier if I just disappeared," Jasper told him in a low voice. "I thought you didn't want me anymore."
As expected, Cole's expression grew incredulous. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, his bare chest heaving with angry breaths as he stood there in his jeans. Then he shook his head and moved forward to pull his boyfriend into a hug.
"Get over here," he growled, holding tight to Jasper. "Jesus. Don't ever fucking think that. And don't you ever do that to me again."
I grinned uncontrollably as I watched them, elation flooding through my heart. Wow. That was a Kodak moment right there.
Jasper's love-filled gaze captured mine once more over Cole's shoulder as he hugged the guy back and I winked at him and mouthed, 'You're welcome.'
He smiled at me with that quirk of his lips before drawing back and then kissing Cole with a fervour that made me weak just from watching them. I could not take my eyes off the pair as they attacked each other's mouths, all masculine and passionate, testosterone leaping off their hungry, angry bodies. Christ. I wanted to go take a cold shower. Maybe I should and give them some privacy.
Clearing my throat, I tried to make light of the situati
on and said loudly, "So I guess this means I'll be sleeping alone tonight, huh?"
They pulled apart immediately. Well Cole did and then looked at me like he had forgotten I was there while rubbing the back of his neck, seemingly embarrassed. It did not bother me in the least. My eyes darted to the bulge in his jeans and I whimpered a little before turning on my heels and heading to the bathroom. I did not have the courage to tell my beautiful boyfriend all the thoughts that were running through my head right then.
~~~
Chapter 20
Cole
Jasper groaned in satisfaction as he rolled off me and I lay there trying to catch my breath for a long minute. Damn. That was some make-up sex. I was beat.
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