I inhaled slow and deep because his words overwhelmed me with a myriad of emotions. First off, Jasper acting like a petulant child instead of me was downright adorable. And then he was also being all primitive caveman regarding Skye and it was sexy as hell. His show of possessiveness gave me hope that he was finally trying to heal. The fact that he just about admitted that he still cared for her and wanted her was a huge emotional milestone.
I should have told him it was not a competition but I was too greedy to see more of this responsive Jasper. The old Jasper. My Jasper. Mine and Skye's.
So I waited until he met my eyes and then winked at him. "Here's hoping you can get it up long enough to do that," I bravely taunted, taking a leaf out of Skye's Tough-Love-for-Jasper book. "Or we could just pick up some Viagra on the way back."
The gleam in his eyes as he narrowed them at me made my heart skip a beat and my dick stir a little in my jeans. Yup. He was about fifty percent back. Fuck. I loved him. And I loved her for returning him to me bit by bit.
~~~
Skye
"Damn it." I jumped back as the jar of blue paint I had been using tipped from my lap and spilled onto my thighs and over the pristine white rug. Shit. I was going to have a hell of a time cleaning that up. Not to mention the waste of such expensive oil paint.
With a grimace, I stepped around the spill and started to strip off my long, oversized t-shirt to get rid of the stickiness. I halted with the edge of my t-shirt directly over my naked breasts before hastily pulling it down to cover myself again.
Jasper was seated in his wheelchair in my bedroom doorway giving me a look I could not decipher. I frowned at him, wondering how long he had been there silently watching me as I painted the rich blue ocean hues of the Amalfi Coast on a sunny day.
"You're in a good mood," he stated in a low voice.
I cleared my throat, a little puzzled. "What?" I had just been cursing like a sailor, not to mention pissed off because my paint had spilled and interrupted my concentration.
He nodded towards the almost finished painting. "Your paintings always reflect your feelings," he murmured and I glanced at the painting then back at him uncertainly.
It had been two days since the lunch outing and we had not spoken a word to each other till now. His observation failed to incite any warmth inside me. Actually, I didn't want him to incite any feelings in me. Period. My silence did not seem to deter him though as he moved further into the room without my permission.
"What do you want? Where's Francesco?" I asked him rudely.
He smiled at me a little and looked me up and down in a lazy manner. "He's taking a nap. I keep telling you guys he's getting paid for nothing." Jasper sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and his brow furrowed a little. "You didn't come out of your room at all today except to go the bathroom. I was...just wondering."
I was busy holding the paint-soaked t-shirt away from my body so his words didn't register at first. Then I straightened and blinked at him.
"You missed me," I said to him in a no-nonsense tone, daring him to deny it.
He almost rolled his eyes but my death stare probably made him change his mind. He knew very well just how sick I was of playing his childish games.
He gestured at the paint stain on the rug instead. "You're going to have to pay to get that cleaned, you know. Part of your rent agreement," he said arrogantly.
I narrowed my eyes at him. "The assholery is at a whole new level today, huh?"
A light entered his eyes as he tried not to smirk and looked at me in an assessing manner. His fingers twitched a little and he frowned.
"What is it?" I asked.
Jasper inclined his head to one side. "Messy sexy," he murmured and I regarded him warily.
"Ummm...thanks?"
He looked up from my painted thighs quickly and made an impatient sound. "I didn't mean you. I meant the subject for my photograph."
Slowly, I raised an eyebrow at him. He had not picked up his camera since the stroke, not shown any interest in offers or projects and now he was thinking about it because of some spilled paint. Despite my resentment of him, I felt hopeful. For him. For Cole. This was good. This was progress.
"I'm the subject in this case," I reminded him pointedly.
He pursed his lips. "I was referring more to the concept rather than the individual. Honestly, anyone would do. You just brought it to mind." His fingers curled and uncurled slowly as though itching for something.
Refusing to let his words get to me, I decided to look at the bigger picture and marched from the room to the office, passing an open-mouthed Francesco sleeping on the couch. I smiled in amusement and shook my head as I grabbed the mega pixel camera and stalked back to my bedroom determinedly. Jasper would exhaust any soul no matter how patient they were.
Dropping the camera on his lap, I came to stand in front of him again and jerked my chin to the device. "Go ahead. Take some pictures."
He scowled at me, refusing to touch the camera or even glance at it. "Just because I talked about it, doesn't mean I want you to pose for me," he growled, angered by my high-handedness.
Picking up the fallen jar, I dipped my fingers inside it and brought them up to smear some ocean blue paint across my jaw line to my chin.
"This messy enough for you?" I asked before switching the jar with bright pink paint and smearing some on my cheek, knowing the contrasting colours on my skin would prove too aesthetic for him to ignore. I knew my art.
I smiled at Jasper as sweetly as I could manage and went to sit with my knees drawn up in front of the canvas I had been using. Soft afternoon sunlight poured in from the window bathing half my body in a golden hue while the other half remained in shadows.
I'll give him concept.
He stared at me for a long time, his eyes growing darker, passionate and then without taking his gaze off me, he picked up the camera, removing the front shutter.
I held my breath and sat absolutely still as he paused for a moment.
Then he raised the camera to his eyes and I sighed in relief, feeling a sense of accomplishment that I had somehow inspired him to reunite with his art again. I understood the feeling all too well.
"Twist your head a little to the side," he instructed me quietly and I did.
Jasper turned a knob, probably zooming in and clicked once. Twice.
"Tilt your chin up and look away from the window," he spoke after a moment.
"Look away as in anger or like I'm being wistful?" I teased and he exhaled impatiently. There was no messing with Jasper Wells when he was in serious photographer mode.
"Just look away. Keep your expression happy, posture energetic but sensual," he ordered.
"Like a chipper bird in the midst of mating season, okay, got it," I quipped smartly and tried not to grin at his exasperated features but did as he asked.
Click, click, click went the camera and I found myself relaxing as he continued to guide and instruct me while pausing to allow me to dab some more beautiful colours upon my exposed skin. My body was a canvas now and he was the artist, not me. I was just a tool.
Not once did he suggest that I strike some kind of provocative pose or bare more than I already did. He was very professional and I was surprised to find that I was mildly disappointed. Not once had he touched me since I had returned or given any indication that he wanted to and I thought I had accepted that but it rankled now when his sexual disinterest was so obvious.
I shouldn't take it so personally though because Cole had already told me about Jasper’s lack of desire for sex.
He lowered the camera and narrowed his eyes at me. "What's wrong?"
I shook my head mutely.
He frowned. "Then stop looking sad. It doesn't go with the concept. This is messy sexy remember?" he stressed rudely. "Not to mention vibrant. Give me some passion, Skye."
I could not help the snort that escaped or the words that followed. "You're one to talk."
Silence.
Absolute and devastating silence.
I peeked at him from beneath my lashes and found him glaring at me.
"Great. First it was Cole and now you," he drawled as he tossed the camera on the bed. "Make fun of the guy who can't get it up because of the illness that almost killed him. It takes time to recover from that near-death experience, Madison. It takes time for all your bodily functions to get back to normal. Not to mention the fear that if you start to enjoy all the pleasures of life again, you could suffer another stroke that might cripple you for good or kill you."
I started to cry as I witnessed the raw emotion displayed on his face by the time he finished speaking. I had no idea. Jasper never revealed his fear to us. Never before had he acknowledged it or talked about it. How could we have known that part of the reason he didn't want to recover was because he was...afraid?
"I'm sorry," I choked out and wiped at my cheeks, no doubt smearing more paint.
"Oh my God," he dragged out in a lazy, long-suffering manner when he realised I was crying again.
I decided to cut him some slack because my insensitive comment probably deserved that kind of response and slowly got to my feet. "I need to go take a shower," I muttered and blindly searched for my towel. "Sorry."
I tried to rush past him but felt his fingers grip my wrist and halt me. A strong, firm grip that made me blink back the tears and look at his face searchingly.
"Come here," he growled, tugging on my hand.
I swallowed at his determined tone and hesitated for a few seconds.
"Skye. Come here," he ordered again, locking his gaze with mine. Then a hint of a smile ghosted around his mouth. "Come sit on Daddy's lap."
I sucked in a shocked breath and shook my head at him. "Stop it, Wells."
His smile started to grow as my breathing quickened. "Come on, little girl. I'm sorry I upset you. Let me give you some cuddles and make it all better," he pressed softly.
Despite my emotional state, I found my core tightening at his words, the hot look in his eyes and his persistence. Jasper. Fuck, Jasper. I missed you.
He tugged on my hand again and as though in a trance, I drifted to him and found myself sitting sideways on his lap. He smiled at me fully this time, clearly very pleased at my submission and brushed my hair out of my face with gentle fingers.
"Tell me where it hurts, baby," he continued to croon but in my ear this time. I shivered. "Let Daddy take care of it."
I surprised myself by giggling and punched him lightly on the arm. "Shut up. You sound creepy."
His response was to start placing feathery kisses along the exposed skin of my neck, his breath hot and arms tight around me.
Moaning, I squirmed in his lap urging him to react, to want me, feel something, rip me apart. "Jasper, please," I gasped, turning to straddle him.
He stopped me by drawing back and shaking his head, a pained look on his face.
"I can't," he explained. "I don't know why. The therapy isn't helping with it."
I regarded him in frustration and helplessness. "Cole said you don't even try. Just let us take care of it. We can be inventive. We can-"
His expression shuttered again. "So now the two of you are discussing my erectile dysfunction behind my back."
"It's not like that-"
"Do you laugh about it too?" he demanded, his fingers digging into my flesh. "About how a sexed-up stud like me can no longer perform in the bedroom. How I can't fucking please him anymore. No wonder he spends all his nights with you, Skye. Pretty soon he's going to come to his senses and realise I'm not worth all the effort," he finished bitterly.
I scrambled off his lap and felt burning anger coursing through me. Yes. I was aware stroke victims suffered from mood swings. I understood that. But for him to constantly doubt Cole's love for him...I couldn't bear it any longer.
"He hasn't fucked me, okay," I sobbed. "You keep thinking the worst of him, Jasper. You're such an idiot sometimes. He can't bring himself to have sex with me and get that satisfaction while you're lying there in bed unable to feel that sort of pleasure at all. He denies himself, denies me because he has hope. So much hope for you that one day, everything will go back to the way it was."
Sobs wrecked through my body as I relayed Cole's pain while Jasper appeared shocked at the revelation.
"The reason he sleeps with me is because he is heartbroken that you don't even let him try and help you with your dick issues. Forget that, you barely even allow him to hold you while sleeping. You brush him off every time and it hurts him so much. I'm the only one who is able to make him snap out of his misery! You know what Cole is like. He needs affection. You've been with him longer. I shouldn't be the one explaining this to you."
Picking up my towel, I stalked out of the room before I said anything else in anger and ended up regretting it.
~~~
Chapter 38
Cole
Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down invaded my eardrums when I got home from work that afternoon. I paused in the act of shedding my coat. Music. That choice of music. Jasper loved that song.
I followed the sound coming from the open doorway of the office and halted when I spotted my boyfriend seated at the desk clicking away on his laptop with an absorbed expression on his face.
As the music surrounded me, I stood there for a moment and simply looked at him, not wanting to interrupt whatever he was doing even though I was curious as hell. He only used his laptop when he worked and I didn't believe for a moment things had taken such a fortunate turn when just this morning, he had barely made the effort to grunt a goodbye when I kissed him before leaving.
His gaze flicked up after what seemed like a long time and he finally noticed my presence. I smiled at him in greeting and lifted my hand in a slight wave because talking would be impossible over the volume of the music. Jasper gave me a look which I would have called almost predatory if I did not know better and lifted his own hand in a mock salute. That made me grin outright at him. After all this time, he still made me feel like I was in love for the first time.
Biting my lip, I shook my head feeling ridiculously happy by even that small pleasant exchange and went to check on Skye. There were paint stains on the rug which made me frown slightly before I chuckled. My baby had made quite a mess today, it seemed. She was taking a nap, lying diagonally across the bed wearing jeans and a white top, her blonde hair spilling over her back and shoulders. Comfort. She was my comfort. Just being able to hold her close after a long day was enough.
I crawled into bed behind her and buried my face in her hair, inhaling the sweet fragrance. A groan escaped me...of pleasure...relief...something. It felt so good. It felt like home.
I didn't care if I woke her because she didn't mind. She loved waking up to me. Throwing one leg over her possessively, I snuggled closer, shutting my eyes for a second. I could fall asleep like this.
Light kisses along my jaw line and the corners of my mouth woke me up. A smile curved my lips and my arms circled Skye's waist as she gazed at me lovingly.
"Hi, baby," she said, her gorgeous blue eyes shining.
"Mmm." I rubbed my hands up over her back and then down to her denim clad ass. "God, I fell asleep waiting for you to wake up," I told her groggily. "What time is it?"
Skye moved to sit up so that she was straddling me with a mischievous smile on her face. "Naughty fun time," she said cheekily, making me laugh.
But then she removed her top, revealing her beautiful toned upper body clad in a lacy black bra. The breath whooshed out of my lungs at the sight and my dick hardened.
"Skye," I whispered, reaching up with both hands to cup her breasts and massage them. I groaned, this time with pure sexual desire and then flipped us over so that she was trapped underneath me, her legs tight around my waist as I kissed her hard. "Fuck, I love you."
We grinded against each other as we kissed and pretty soon, she was whining and pleading with me to make her come. Taking her wrists, I raised her arms and pinned them to
the bed before moving my mouth to her nipples, biting them through the lace.
She jerked her hips and gasped my name, overwhelmed with desire. A haze of lust and need took over my senses, making me want nothing more than to fuck her till we both lost our minds. She was beautiful. So tempting. So passionate.
"Cole, please," she whimpered, squirming for me to let go of her wrists. I did because I needed my hands to undo her jeans and pull them down along with her panties.
I had denied her long enough. It was not her fault that I was having issues and hang-ups regarding Jasper. She needed me too. She loved me. Lowering my body, I kissed and nibbled on her flat stomach as I made my way down.
"No," she said firmly and raised herself on her elbows.
I stopped, frowning at her in confusion.
She shook her head. "You need this too. I want you inside me."
I stared at her, feeling torn and I bet it showed on my face because she started to appear distressed. Then she put her hands on my shoulders and pushed me away from her body.
"If you won't then neither will I," she said sadly, tugging up her jeans.
"Skye, let me-"
"No."
I sighed and sat up on the edge of the bed with a gloomy expression, rubbing my hands over my face. This was bad. So bad. But I just couldn't bring myself to do what she wanted because it didn't feel right to me. Not without Jasper.
"You guys are so lame."
My head snapped up towards the doorway where Jasper sat looking at us with a sardonic expression on his face. He appeared both amused and condescending, combining it into a sexy demeanor which was something only Jasper Wells could pull off.
Skye was glaring at him as she snatched up her top and hastily put it on. Jasper just raised his eyebrows at the gesture and I knew him well enough to deduce that he wanted to remind her it was nothing he had not seen before but to his credit, my usually cocky boyfriend kept quiet.
When his eyes met mine, he actually winked at me, surprising me yet again with his light-hearted mood. Something was up with him but the current situation was too tense for me to try and find out what.
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