“No, but thanks anyway. Besides, you’ve got one kid at the barn playing with the new cats—you are welcome for that—and the twins are asleep. Might be nice for you and Addy to have a few minutes to yourselves.” Cody winked as he opened the door. “I’m going to leave the work truck and walk back to the bunkhouse. Tell Mia thanks for plowing a path for us, will you? I forgot to.”
“Hey, that’s not all she did,” Jessie said. “She worked over that forty acres the cattle have been moved to so they wouldn’t have to stand in a foot of snow. Sure makes the feeding and watering easier because we don’t have to wade it up to our knees.”
“That girl is a born rancher,” Cody said and waved as he closed the door behind him. He paused on the porch steps and thought about what Jesse said. He and Stevie definitely needed to bury the past and move on with their lives, but Stevie O’Dell could teach even Sonny Ryan a few lessons in stubbornness. If he tried to explain the whole story to her, she would set her heels for sure, and besides, he wasn’t sure he wanted to be completely honest about his excuse for rejecting her. That would mean he would have to voice the reasons out loud, and that would make them even more real.
Out there in the distance, light glowed through the barn window and around the big sliding door like a beacon, but he didn’t want to butt in on Mia and Stevie’s time together. Mia had hit a really rough patch the last year and hadn’t fully dug out from under her mistakes. Her friend Justine had helped, but she was about Mia’s age. Stevie was older and wiser, and then on other hand, Stevie had lost her mother and felt guilty. Sharing their feelings, like women did, would be good for them both.
Tex came out from his doghouse located beside the porch, tail wagging and head down. He butted Cody’s leg with his nose, as if pushing him to start walking.
“Well, old boy, all we’re doing out here is getting colder by the minute.” Cody headed toward the bunkhouse. Frozen grass made a crunching noise under his feet, and a couple of times his feet came close to slipping out from under him.
“I hate ice and snow almost as much as I did sand,” he muttered to the dog.
Tex bounded ahead and rushed into the bunkhouse the second the door was opened. Cody opened the door, Tex rushed inside and curled up in the middle of the sofa.
“Hey.” Stevie stepped out from the kitchen area. “Is that for me?”
Cody handed the plate to her before he even removed his coat. “One piece is. The other one is for my bedtime snack.”
“Thank you, but why wait until bedtime.” Stevie peeled back the plastic wrap, ran her finger through the icing, and then licked it. “We need to talk.”
“About?” Cody could tell by her expression that she didn’t want to discuss the snow, the ranch, or the chocolate cake. Even though he would have liked to have more time to think about the issue, if Stevie was ready to talk, then he’d plow through the discussion as best he could.
* * *
Stevie removed the rest of the wrap and tossed it in the trash. She carried the cake to the sofa and sat down on one end. She should have driven out to the ranch and had this conversation with Cody when he first came home, she had decided since she left Mia in the barn. But she’d been downright hateful and belligerent every time she saw him. Her mother always told her that every choice had consequences. That was the absolute gospel truth, she thought as she waited for him to come over to the living area. Today it was time to pay the fiddler, and Stevie was ready to get it over with and off her heart and mind.
“You can bring the forks and two beers. I’m glad I don’t have to choose between beer and chocolate tonight. I need both,” she said with a long sigh.
“So, it’s a serious talk?” Cody took two forks from the drawer and a couple of long-neck bottles of beer from the fridge and joined her on the sofa.
“This is more like a ‘come to Jesus’ talk for me, starting with I’m sorry for treating you the way I have since you came home, and especially since you’ve been so nice to me. I thought I was completely over you since we broke up in high school, and I thought I had moved on, but evidently I hadn’t.” Stevie was glad that Tex was between them.
“Well, then let’s hear it, love.” He set the bottles on the coffee table.
“I told you not to call me that, and this is serious, Cody, and this is not the time to tease me,” she said.
“Okay, then spit it out and let’s get it over with.” He said.
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “It’s tough to talk about the way I feel, and even harder to admit that I’m to blame for most of it.” She took a fork from him and cut off a chunk of cake with the edge of it. “I was in love with you when we were dating…” She sighed. “I know we were both just kids, but I would have followed you to the ends of the earth.”
“I know,” Cody whispered, “but I couldn’t ask you to do that, Stevie. We both had dreams to follow, and we would have both regretted not…” He hesitated. “At least I know I would have if I hadn’t…” Another pause. “Damn it, Stevie. This is hard. I just couldn’t let myself have a serious relationship with anyone. It wasn’t just you, but I did have feelings for you. That’s why I broke up with you that spring. If I was going to be a doctor, it would take all my time and energy. You deserved more than a small piece of me. You deserved someone who would give you one hundred percent, not two percent.”
“I understand that now, but it’s taken me a long time to sort it all out. It’s in my nature to finish a project before I start another one, so I thought I couldn’t fall in love with anyone else as long as you were around. This all sounds crazy, but bear with me,” she said as she took another sip of beer.
“I’m all ears,” he said, “and I do not mean that to be joking.”
Stevie took in a deep breath and let it out very slowly. Thank God for chocolate. That always helped get her through tough times. “I couldn’t believe you asked me to the homecoming dance that fall. I was a gangly red-haired girl with braces and freckles who wasn’t popular. I was smart, but not someone that a handsome Ryan boy would give a second look,” she said.
“Did you ever think that what you felt was just infatuation and not love?” Cody twisted the top off his beer and took a long drink. “I had a big crush on Brenda Jones when I was a freshman in high school, but she only had eyes for…”
“Darrin Black.” Stevie finished the sentence for him. “I remember them coming to church and holding hands when I was in elementary school. But you aren’t wired like I am. You got over your crush. Did you put her on a pedestal and measure every woman by her for the next two decades?”
“No, I did not.” Cody frowned. “Are you telling me that you did that with me?”
“I told you, I have to finish a project before I start another one,” she answered. “So, yes, I did. I told myself that I had moved on and didn’t even realize that I was measuring every guy by your yardstick. I’ve dated guys. First dates, second, and even a few third. I’ve had three fairly serious relationships. I can see now that the reason none of them worked out was because I was trying to put them up on a pedestal beside the one I had built for you.”
“Good Lord, Stevie!” Cody took a long draw from his beer. “Why would you do that?”
“I made you into this perfect person in my mind. I was devastated the night we broke up, but I told myself that you were doing it for the greater good.” Stevie shrugged. “Remember earlier this evening when we were talking about always being seventeen in our hometown?”
Cody nodded. “What’s that got to do with this?”
“Everything,” Stevie answered. “Being seventeen in Honey Grove isn’t important. What is important is that when I’m around you, that I’m still seventeen again. I don’t know if I was your first, but you were mine.”
“I knew, and yes, you were,” Cody whispered.
“They say you never get over your first love, your first experience in sex, your first anything. I guess I didn’t,” she told him.
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�Now that I recognize the problem, I will get over it. It’s been pretty damn immature of me not to own up to it and admit it before now. I hope that going forward we can be friends,” Stevie said.
“Whew!” Cody said. “That’s a lot of honesty for one night, but I’d like it very much if we could be friends.”
“I feel better for having said it,” Stevie told him. “It’s not fair to either of us for me to blame you for my failed relationships, and like you said, what I felt was pure infatuation, not love. You were wise enough to see that. I wasn’t, but I do now.”
“We were both too young to make a lifetime commitment or to change our plans to suit the other one,” Cody said. “I knew that you wanted more, and it scared me, because to give you that, like I said, it would have taken more than I had to offer at the time. The feelings I had for you back then scared me.”
In all the scenarios that had ever played out in her head, this one had never entered Stevie’s mind. She’d always thought the Ryan boys were super sure of themselves. In her eyes Cody had always been ten feet tall and bulletproof.
“I can’t imagine you being scared, but I understand,” she said.
“You’ve figured out things for yourself, and it took a lot of courage to talk to me about this,” Cody said, “and, honey, you are not seventeen in my eyes anymore.”
“Thank you for that.” Stevie felt as if a weight had been lifted off her heart.
“I’m glad we had this talk,” Cody said.
“Me too. We’ve kind of taken care of the elephant, haven’t we?” Stevie smiled.
“We have,” Cody agreed.
“Speaking of elephants, Mia and I had a little visit out in the barn. She feels so bad that she sold off her flock of sheep and ran away with Honey Grove’s most notorious bad boy, and used up every bit of her money. Talking to her is what gave me the courage to tell you how I felt.”
“From what Jesse told me, they were heartsick for Mia,” Cody said. “And she’s paying dearly for her mistakes now.”
“How’s that?” Stevie asked.
“She lost her position overseeing some of the hired hands. Addy made her take her courses online this semester because last semester she flunked them all, and she had to interview with Jesse for a job as a ranch hand,” Cody answered.
“Tough love.” Stevie finished off her piece of cake and stole a bite of Cody’s. “Mama applied some of that several times when I was growing up, and even after I came home.”
“Dad will never get better.” Cody’s tone went all hoarse, like he was trying to talk past a lump in his throat. “I couldn’t bear to have one of my kids do that to him in his last days.”
“So you are thinking about settling down now? I figured after you saw that Sonny was all right, you might go back to Doctors Without Borders again.”
Cody took another drink of his beer. “I do miss that life, but my place is here, and to answer your question, I have thought about a family, but that’s as far as it’s gone. Right now, I’m just trying to take care of Dad, this ranch, and my practice.”
“And again, you’ve got too much on your plate for a serious relationship, right?”
“That’s pretty much the way of it,” Cody answered.
“From the time we spent in the tack room, I’d say that you’re a normal old cowboy looking for peace, love, and contentment,” Stevie said.
“I’ll take normal anytime, but I’ll argue that old point,” he teased.
“You’re staring forty in the eye,” she reminded him. “Like I said, I finish a project before I start another one. Consider yourself all done. I’m moving on. You can do the same or not—that’s your choice.”
“What do you want out of life…love?” he teased.
“I don’t have to decide tonight, but I don’t intend to waste any more time on measuring all guys by your yardstick. I’m not seventeen, in this town, or in my own eyes when I’m around you. I’m an independent woman who is building a vet practice.” She picked up her beer and finished it.
“You are definitely independent,” Cody agreed. “You remind me a lot of Addy.”
She stole another forkful of his cake. “I’ll take that as a compliment.” The piece of cake slipped off the fork and was on the way to land on the sofa when Tex gobbled it down in one bite.
“I meant it as a compliment. Addy is amazing.” Cody loaded his fork with the last bite of cake and offered it to her. “Thanks for the talk. Think we might be friends?”
“Right back at you for being honest with me, and I’d like for us to be friends.” Stevie steadied his hand with hers so that the cake made it to her mouth. “And thank you for sharing your last bit of cake with me. Anyone who gives me chocolate is well on their way to being my friend. I’m going to bed now. What time should we be up and around? I can help with ranch work if you need me. Guess we won’t be going to church since we can’t get there past the roads that are blocked with broken-down trees.”
“Jesse and I can take care of that, but breakfast is early. We only have supper together in the ranch house. That way Jesse and Addy can have time to be a family,” Cody explained as he carried the plate and empty beer bottles to the kitchen.
“Then I’ll be up at the crack of dawn, and we can cook breakfast together,” she said. “But really, I would be glad to help with whatever. I could check the cattle and make sure they’re all right in this kind of weather.”
“Make sure your phone is charged.” Cody covered a yawn with his hand. “That way, if we need you, we’ll call.”
“You got it,” Stevie said. “I’m surprised that I haven’t got texts or calls from folks in town who need help with their animals.”
“Mama has probably let her friends all know you are stranded out here on the ranch and couldn’t get to them even if you wanted to,” Cody said.
“Hadn’t thought of that.” Stevie headed toward her bedroom. So now she and Cody were friends, but there was a little piece of her heart that still wanted more, whether she would ever admit it out loud or not.
Chapter Nine
The past several days had all run together, and Stevie had to check her phone to see what day it was when the alarm awoke her that morning. “How did it get to be Sunday?” she muttered as she padded to the bunkhouse kitchen in her pajamas and socks.
“I don’t know, but I don’t think we’ll be going to church this morning.” Cody handed her a cup of coffee. “Seems like a month ago that we were stuck at Max’s barn.”
“And yet we were only rescued yesterday.” Stevie opened the refrigerator door and took out bacon, eggs, and cheese. “Got any oatmeal? You’re going to need a big breakfast to keep you warm out there in the weather.”
“In the pantry,” Cody answered. “I can’t make biscuits fit to eat so I usually just have toast. There’s a couple of loaves of Mama’s homemade bread in the freezer.”
“I’ll make the biscuits this morning. We can thaw out a loaf of bread for sandwiches or maybe potato soup for lunch.” She went into the pantry and came out with what she needed.
Cody turned on the oven and brought pans out from the cabinet. “I could get used to this.”
“Oh, yeah?” Stevie raised an eyebrow. “Would that be having a woman in flannel pajamas and her hair all messy making biscuits?”
“That would be having a friend to talk to while we make breakfast, and then sharing conversation while we eat,” he answered, “and you are definitely not that little girl in braces anymore. Even with your bedroom hair, you are a beautiful woman.”
Stevie couldn’t remember the last time she had been paid a compliment like that, and she’d never had anyone tell her she was beautiful when she looked like she did right then. But the expression on Cody’s face told her that he wasn’t joking—and he hadn’t added the word love.
“Thank you,” she said, and wondered how both of their lives would have changed if Cody had even told her something like that when she had seen him at the rodeo a few weeks ago.
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To everything there is a season. Your time will come. Be patient. Her mother had told her that many times, especially when her relationships went south.
For the days to be in such a jumble, the time that it took to make breakfast and eat it went fast. Stevie was just drying the last fork and putting it away when she heard the noise of the truck. Cody grabbed his hat, settled it on his head, and then put his coat on.
“See you at noon or before,” he said on his way out the door with Tex right behind him.
She raised her voice and yelled, “Call if you need a vet.”
She had no sooner said the words than her phone rang. She raced to the bedroom, grabbed it, and answered without even looking at the caller ID. “Hello, this is Dr. Stevie O’Dell.”
“Oh, Stevie,” Gracie Langston whined, “Fifi is sick. I need help.”
“What’s the matter with her?” Stevie had gotten a call like this about every two weeks since she had come home to Honey Grove. The first few times she had rushed across the street to her mother’s best friend’s house and checked on the ten-year-old poodle. Then she realized that it was Gracie who wanted company, and she was using the miniature poodle as an excuse to get Stevie to visit her. Then, of course, while she was there, Gracie would either pump her for gossip about what she might have heard when she was on vet business, or else Gracie wanted to spread rumors to her. Most of the time, she just steered the conversation away from the folks she did business with, and then let the rumors go in one ear and right out the other.
“I’m so, so sorry, Miz Gracie,” Stevie said, “but as you probably know, I’m stuck at Sunflower Ranch. Trees are down between here and town, and it will probably be next week before I can come home. What’s wrong with Fifi? Tell me how she’s acting.”
“I heard you and Cody Ryan were stranded together,” Gracie said. “Is there something going on between you?”
“No, ma’am,” Stevie answered. “Now about Fifi?”
“Your folks was good people, and they raised you up to be a good girl. Don’t you be lettin’ that Cody Ryan ruin your reputation,” Gracie scolded.
Texas Homecoming Page 10